=========Chapter Nine==========
"Do I....love him?" Kagome asked herself. "Do I love that selfish, demon, violent, InuYasha? But I don't really care that he's a demon, or a half- demon. Do I LOVE HIM? .....I don't know"
~But thinking that InuYasha will be accepted into Kikyo's heart, that he will never love me back, drives me crazy. Even if it's the true fact~
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Kaede looked up, seeing a shadow fall over her.
"K..Kikyo"
"Kaede. It has been a long time since I last saw you little sister" Kikyo said coldly.
"Yes...a long time. Why are you here?"
"Must I have a reason to visit my sister? Anyway, I came here to find out what really happened to me. What's this story about..Naraku tricking me?"
Kaede told Kikyo the whole story of Naraku's plan to make Kikyo hate InuYasha and InuYasha her.
"I see.." whispered Kikyo, "he was telling the truth then. He did not betray me. It means that...we would have been together if it had not been for that Nraku"
~That bitch~ Kikyo thought, ~ I was supposed to be with InuYasha! He had loved me!~
"And what of this girl...my reincarnation, Kagome?"Kikyo coldly asked.
"She is a mysterious girl..."
"She cares for him. MY InuYasha! MY reincarnation cares for MY InuYasha!!! I see that InuYasha has turned kinder...that girl did it. She did my job. It was my job to do what she did. Does InuYasha love her?!"
"Eh?" Kaede said, ~Oh dear..tough question. But I must not anger my sister. If I tell her what I THINK then she might turn her hatred to Kagome AND InuYasha. By InuYasha loving someone else..he would be betraying Kikyo~
"No.....I do not think so" Kade replied.
"Think....i wanted a sure answer...Kagome is different from me. Even if she is my reincarnation. I don't like her"
"So...are you going to still try to kill InuYasha?"
"No....i want to live on earth with him, forever"
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
InuYasha felt much better two days later. Everyone was still mad at him for sending Kagome off so suddenly and rudely.
"She is to come back today...." He thought looking down the well. ~I wonder what she's doing right now~
~ I hope she understands why I sent her off like that. Of course, she wouldn't understand. I should have told her why, but she might think I care for her....I do..but even thinking of Kagome makes me feel guilty, as if I'm deceiving Kikyo for some reason. I wish I could be free...free from my feelings that are being controlled by the thought of Kikyo. I feel as if I owe her my life because I fell in love with her...love...now I'm confused with what love even is. If Kikyo loved me, how could she hate me, even after she thought I betrayed her? I..did hate her at first...a little. But not as much as Kikyo hates me. Jeez, what is love?~
InuYasha stopped thinking when he caught a familiar scent. He looked up at a tree to see Kikyo.
"K..Kikyo" he said under his breath.
"InuYasha" she said warmly, jumping down from a tree. ~He was waiting for Kagome!!~
"......."
"You look surprised to see me" Kikyo said with a smile.
~K- Kikyo...she smiled at me.~
"InuYasha, I heard of how we were tricked to hate each other....it means that we could have been together forever" Kikyo said coming up to him. (by what she said, "being together forever" she meant being married)
"........"
~Has she forgiven me? ~ he thought.
"I must go...but I shall find you again..." Kikyo said and then disappeared.
InuYasha stood there, dazed.
"Kikyo..."
Shippo had been watching it all from a bush. ~That was the dead pot lady, InuYasha's girl friend! I hate Kikyo! Oh......poor Kagome~
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"What's up with InuYasha?" Kagome asked Shippo, who came back to the Feudal era a few minutes ago.
"I saw it all happen. He met Kikyo...she knows now that InuYasha did not betray her. I think she's slowly starting to forgive him..."
Kagome looked down at her hands, "I see".
Kagome watched InuYasha for the rest of the day. He barely said a word. Kagome could tell e was thinking about Kikyo. She had to use all her powers from crying. It hurted her, and it hurted a lot to see InuYasha so in love with Kikyo...thinking of her 24-7 .
Kagome went and sat down next to InuYasha outside under a tree.
"Why do you keep avoiding my eyes. If it's Kikyo you see, why do you avoid my eyes. It seems as if she's forgiven you, so wouldn't you want to look in my eyes to be reminded the slightest of that beautiful girlfriend of yours" she asked without emotion which made her voice sound cold.
"H-how did you know I saw her?" InuYasha asked in shock.
"I have my sources" she replied dryly.
"I can't look in your eyes, because I see you, not Kikyo. I feel....guilt and something else. I don't know, don't ask why I feel that way" he said. ~ I can't believe myself, I actually told her how I felt..~
"Guilt? Just because you see another woman, you think Kikyo would get mad? You think you're deceiving her because of that? Is that why you feel guilty? I see you looking Sango straight in the eye. Why am I different?! If I no longer look like Kikyo anymore, THAN WHAT IS YOUR REASON!?"
"I told you not to ask why" InuYasha said seriously. ~Because, you're different. I know Sango is JUST my friend, But when you look at me, it's different- I think. I feel no guilt when I look at Sango, no special feelings. But you.....~
"You like me don't you" InuYasha said.
Kagome froze, ~how did he know. Why is he asking?~ She was scared, he knew.
"Yah, I like ya....as a friend"
~ I know....but I don't want to hurt you. If you felt anything, even a little from the safe friendly feeling...i don't want to break your heart. I love Kikyo....i don't want to betray her., so I can never harbor near to those kind of feelings for anyone. Except her...But then, when I look at Kagome, I feel as if I am beraying Kikyo.~
"That's good, cuz if you did like me, even a bit in the other way than of a friend, I don't want to hurt your heart. I can only love Kikyo"\
~You already have broken my heart. InuYasha....~
"Hah, no need to worry. Jeez, you make it sound like you HAVE to love Kikyo" Kagome said sadly.
InuYasha glanced at her from the corner of his eyes. ~She looks sad. Dammit...did she, does she have any feelings for me, feelings more than a friend? No, couldn't be. Why would she anyway, for a half-youkai. Even Kikyo couldn't accept that. But then why does she look so sad?~
"I hope you have a happy life with her. Try to remember me when you go off with her" Kagome said and walked away.
"Somehow that sentence doesn't suit me..."
Kaede watched as Kagome walked away. She shook her head, and walked over to InuYasha who looked depressed.
~ I know I shouldn't be trying to get InuYasha to decide who he truly loves, even I don't know that. Kikyo wants me to make InuYasha think he loves Kikyo...if he does, fine. But that girl, Kagome. She has been so kind to me. I would be betraying her.~
"Life is a confusing journey" Kaede said as she sat next to InuYasha.
"......."
~ InuYasha became closer to Kikyo because they had a likeness. They were both unable to be themselves. InuYasha had been able to feel guilt after hearing Kikyo's story. Him feeling, made him think he was in love....maybe it was love, maybe it was not. It could have been friendship...~
"Don't get friendship mixed up with love. And Love mixed up with friendship."
"Are you saying that I am confusing my feelings for Kikyo as LOVE instead of friendship?" InuYasha asked angrily.
"My question. What is love? Before you met Kikyo, you did not even know what love was.....so don't be confused"
"I love kikyo!!!" InuYasha hissed, trying not to get confused, "stop trying to confuse me you old hag"
"Why are you confused? Are you now confused of if you love Kikyo? Is kagome getting in the way of your thinking? You're forcing your mind to one direction,you'll probably never be able to find the truth. You're so narrow minded. Oh, I must be going now." Said Kaede as she stood up to leave.
"I do love Kikyo. No mistake about that. I loved her from the beginning and I loved her even when she tried to kill me....baka"
"InuYasha, you should go and find Kagome. Whatever went through her mind, she did not look happy when she left"
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Kagome was sitting on the edge of the well, thinking of whether to go back to her era or stay. She looked up when she felt someone's presence.
"Kouga-kun?"
"Kagome-chan....you look gloomy"
"I....guess I am"
"Kagome,. I've been looking for you for the past days!"
"I just came back today from my world"
"Ah, I see" he said, sitting down next to her, "so, what's up with this sad face?"
"I..I ...nothing"
He studied her face then looked away, "InuYasha....he made you sad..you're thinking about him"
"How...how did you know?"
"I could see it all over your. I know when someone is in love. Like I said, I'm gunu kill him so that you'll forget him and love me" he said angrily, "do you even care about me?!"
"Kouga-kun! How can you say that?! You know I CARE!" Kagome said and then realized something. She felt painful for Kouga, she cared for him, as a friend, while he loved her. That was the situation between her and InuYasha. ~ I really care for InuYasha, but I can't say its love, but close to it-I think. And InuYasha must at least care for me a bit. He must have felt the way I did for Kouga...~
"Oh Kouga" Kagome sighed, "I am sorry"
InuYasha saw Kagome with Kouga.
~ it's always me that makes Kagome sad...will it be Kouga who will cheer her up? Will it be Kouga whom she'll run to in times of trouble?~ he thought. He really wanted to go and rip Kouga apart, but for Kagome's sake, he couldn't.
InuYasha turned and walked away. "Kouga loves Kagome....does Kagome love him..At least he doesn't make her cry all the time. It's always me.."
"I met someone, Kagome." Kouga said.
"...."
"I think I'm going to make her my woman, and you" he said, "she's really strong"
"TWO women?!"
"But if you want to be my only woman, then that's fine"
"I am not your woman, Kouga"
"....I know. But I DO love you. And I know I have lost against InuYasha. But one thing I can't stand to loose against him is a fight"
"Kouga..what are you talking about"
"I'm gunu kill him for all the problems he's caused you, for stealing your heart away and then throwing it, for acting as if he were better then me" he hissed. He stood up and walked away.
"No....." Kagome cried.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
It was night time. InuYasha was still wide awake.
~Kagome.....Kikyo...are two different people. Kikyo..~
Kagome was wearing then necklace with the Shikon jewel tied to it, and a small jar of shikon jewels in it.
~Why is she just leaving it in open air?!~ he thought as he took the jewels and put it in his pocket. ~I'll give it to her when she notices that it is missing~
------------- "So, InuYasha has the jewels. It's no fun trying to steal it from that girl. Taking it from InuYasha will be fun...hmhmhm...I have the perfect idea of how to steal it.." ------------
"Do I....love him?" Kagome asked herself. "Do I love that selfish, demon, violent, InuYasha? But I don't really care that he's a demon, or a half- demon. Do I LOVE HIM? .....I don't know"
~But thinking that InuYasha will be accepted into Kikyo's heart, that he will never love me back, drives me crazy. Even if it's the true fact~
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Kaede looked up, seeing a shadow fall over her.
"K..Kikyo"
"Kaede. It has been a long time since I last saw you little sister" Kikyo said coldly.
"Yes...a long time. Why are you here?"
"Must I have a reason to visit my sister? Anyway, I came here to find out what really happened to me. What's this story about..Naraku tricking me?"
Kaede told Kikyo the whole story of Naraku's plan to make Kikyo hate InuYasha and InuYasha her.
"I see.." whispered Kikyo, "he was telling the truth then. He did not betray me. It means that...we would have been together if it had not been for that Nraku"
~That bitch~ Kikyo thought, ~ I was supposed to be with InuYasha! He had loved me!~
"And what of this girl...my reincarnation, Kagome?"Kikyo coldly asked.
"She is a mysterious girl..."
"She cares for him. MY InuYasha! MY reincarnation cares for MY InuYasha!!! I see that InuYasha has turned kinder...that girl did it. She did my job. It was my job to do what she did. Does InuYasha love her?!"
"Eh?" Kaede said, ~Oh dear..tough question. But I must not anger my sister. If I tell her what I THINK then she might turn her hatred to Kagome AND InuYasha. By InuYasha loving someone else..he would be betraying Kikyo~
"No.....I do not think so" Kade replied.
"Think....i wanted a sure answer...Kagome is different from me. Even if she is my reincarnation. I don't like her"
"So...are you going to still try to kill InuYasha?"
"No....i want to live on earth with him, forever"
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
InuYasha felt much better two days later. Everyone was still mad at him for sending Kagome off so suddenly and rudely.
"She is to come back today...." He thought looking down the well. ~I wonder what she's doing right now~
~ I hope she understands why I sent her off like that. Of course, she wouldn't understand. I should have told her why, but she might think I care for her....I do..but even thinking of Kagome makes me feel guilty, as if I'm deceiving Kikyo for some reason. I wish I could be free...free from my feelings that are being controlled by the thought of Kikyo. I feel as if I owe her my life because I fell in love with her...love...now I'm confused with what love even is. If Kikyo loved me, how could she hate me, even after she thought I betrayed her? I..did hate her at first...a little. But not as much as Kikyo hates me. Jeez, what is love?~
InuYasha stopped thinking when he caught a familiar scent. He looked up at a tree to see Kikyo.
"K..Kikyo" he said under his breath.
"InuYasha" she said warmly, jumping down from a tree. ~He was waiting for Kagome!!~
"......."
"You look surprised to see me" Kikyo said with a smile.
~K- Kikyo...she smiled at me.~
"InuYasha, I heard of how we were tricked to hate each other....it means that we could have been together forever" Kikyo said coming up to him. (by what she said, "being together forever" she meant being married)
"........"
~Has she forgiven me? ~ he thought.
"I must go...but I shall find you again..." Kikyo said and then disappeared.
InuYasha stood there, dazed.
"Kikyo..."
Shippo had been watching it all from a bush. ~That was the dead pot lady, InuYasha's girl friend! I hate Kikyo! Oh......poor Kagome~
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"What's up with InuYasha?" Kagome asked Shippo, who came back to the Feudal era a few minutes ago.
"I saw it all happen. He met Kikyo...she knows now that InuYasha did not betray her. I think she's slowly starting to forgive him..."
Kagome looked down at her hands, "I see".
Kagome watched InuYasha for the rest of the day. He barely said a word. Kagome could tell e was thinking about Kikyo. She had to use all her powers from crying. It hurted her, and it hurted a lot to see InuYasha so in love with Kikyo...thinking of her 24-7 .
Kagome went and sat down next to InuYasha outside under a tree.
"Why do you keep avoiding my eyes. If it's Kikyo you see, why do you avoid my eyes. It seems as if she's forgiven you, so wouldn't you want to look in my eyes to be reminded the slightest of that beautiful girlfriend of yours" she asked without emotion which made her voice sound cold.
"H-how did you know I saw her?" InuYasha asked in shock.
"I have my sources" she replied dryly.
"I can't look in your eyes, because I see you, not Kikyo. I feel....guilt and something else. I don't know, don't ask why I feel that way" he said. ~ I can't believe myself, I actually told her how I felt..~
"Guilt? Just because you see another woman, you think Kikyo would get mad? You think you're deceiving her because of that? Is that why you feel guilty? I see you looking Sango straight in the eye. Why am I different?! If I no longer look like Kikyo anymore, THAN WHAT IS YOUR REASON!?"
"I told you not to ask why" InuYasha said seriously. ~Because, you're different. I know Sango is JUST my friend, But when you look at me, it's different- I think. I feel no guilt when I look at Sango, no special feelings. But you.....~
"You like me don't you" InuYasha said.
Kagome froze, ~how did he know. Why is he asking?~ She was scared, he knew.
"Yah, I like ya....as a friend"
~ I know....but I don't want to hurt you. If you felt anything, even a little from the safe friendly feeling...i don't want to break your heart. I love Kikyo....i don't want to betray her., so I can never harbor near to those kind of feelings for anyone. Except her...But then, when I look at Kagome, I feel as if I am beraying Kikyo.~
"That's good, cuz if you did like me, even a bit in the other way than of a friend, I don't want to hurt your heart. I can only love Kikyo"\
~You already have broken my heart. InuYasha....~
"Hah, no need to worry. Jeez, you make it sound like you HAVE to love Kikyo" Kagome said sadly.
InuYasha glanced at her from the corner of his eyes. ~She looks sad. Dammit...did she, does she have any feelings for me, feelings more than a friend? No, couldn't be. Why would she anyway, for a half-youkai. Even Kikyo couldn't accept that. But then why does she look so sad?~
"I hope you have a happy life with her. Try to remember me when you go off with her" Kagome said and walked away.
"Somehow that sentence doesn't suit me..."
Kaede watched as Kagome walked away. She shook her head, and walked over to InuYasha who looked depressed.
~ I know I shouldn't be trying to get InuYasha to decide who he truly loves, even I don't know that. Kikyo wants me to make InuYasha think he loves Kikyo...if he does, fine. But that girl, Kagome. She has been so kind to me. I would be betraying her.~
"Life is a confusing journey" Kaede said as she sat next to InuYasha.
"......."
~ InuYasha became closer to Kikyo because they had a likeness. They were both unable to be themselves. InuYasha had been able to feel guilt after hearing Kikyo's story. Him feeling, made him think he was in love....maybe it was love, maybe it was not. It could have been friendship...~
"Don't get friendship mixed up with love. And Love mixed up with friendship."
"Are you saying that I am confusing my feelings for Kikyo as LOVE instead of friendship?" InuYasha asked angrily.
"My question. What is love? Before you met Kikyo, you did not even know what love was.....so don't be confused"
"I love kikyo!!!" InuYasha hissed, trying not to get confused, "stop trying to confuse me you old hag"
"Why are you confused? Are you now confused of if you love Kikyo? Is kagome getting in the way of your thinking? You're forcing your mind to one direction,you'll probably never be able to find the truth. You're so narrow minded. Oh, I must be going now." Said Kaede as she stood up to leave.
"I do love Kikyo. No mistake about that. I loved her from the beginning and I loved her even when she tried to kill me....baka"
"InuYasha, you should go and find Kagome. Whatever went through her mind, she did not look happy when she left"
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Kagome was sitting on the edge of the well, thinking of whether to go back to her era or stay. She looked up when she felt someone's presence.
"Kouga-kun?"
"Kagome-chan....you look gloomy"
"I....guess I am"
"Kagome,. I've been looking for you for the past days!"
"I just came back today from my world"
"Ah, I see" he said, sitting down next to her, "so, what's up with this sad face?"
"I..I ...nothing"
He studied her face then looked away, "InuYasha....he made you sad..you're thinking about him"
"How...how did you know?"
"I could see it all over your. I know when someone is in love. Like I said, I'm gunu kill him so that you'll forget him and love me" he said angrily, "do you even care about me?!"
"Kouga-kun! How can you say that?! You know I CARE!" Kagome said and then realized something. She felt painful for Kouga, she cared for him, as a friend, while he loved her. That was the situation between her and InuYasha. ~ I really care for InuYasha, but I can't say its love, but close to it-I think. And InuYasha must at least care for me a bit. He must have felt the way I did for Kouga...~
"Oh Kouga" Kagome sighed, "I am sorry"
InuYasha saw Kagome with Kouga.
~ it's always me that makes Kagome sad...will it be Kouga who will cheer her up? Will it be Kouga whom she'll run to in times of trouble?~ he thought. He really wanted to go and rip Kouga apart, but for Kagome's sake, he couldn't.
InuYasha turned and walked away. "Kouga loves Kagome....does Kagome love him..At least he doesn't make her cry all the time. It's always me.."
"I met someone, Kagome." Kouga said.
"...."
"I think I'm going to make her my woman, and you" he said, "she's really strong"
"TWO women?!"
"But if you want to be my only woman, then that's fine"
"I am not your woman, Kouga"
"....I know. But I DO love you. And I know I have lost against InuYasha. But one thing I can't stand to loose against him is a fight"
"Kouga..what are you talking about"
"I'm gunu kill him for all the problems he's caused you, for stealing your heart away and then throwing it, for acting as if he were better then me" he hissed. He stood up and walked away.
"No....." Kagome cried.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
It was night time. InuYasha was still wide awake.
~Kagome.....Kikyo...are two different people. Kikyo..~
Kagome was wearing then necklace with the Shikon jewel tied to it, and a small jar of shikon jewels in it.
~Why is she just leaving it in open air?!~ he thought as he took the jewels and put it in his pocket. ~I'll give it to her when she notices that it is missing~
------------- "So, InuYasha has the jewels. It's no fun trying to steal it from that girl. Taking it from InuYasha will be fun...hmhmhm...I have the perfect idea of how to steal it.." ------------