It had been an unusually slow day. No new prisoners, none stolen by
that hedgehog, no problems or progress to be dealt with at all. And no
Snively, either. Robotnik had resorted to simply staring at the security
monitors himself while he sent his newly built robotic cohort to perform
some routine checks on a few munitions factories.
He never thought that his nephew would have the gumption to free a certain genetically altered and physically remodified beast, the pinnacle of one of his labors over the years, from its doom after something in one of its modifications had broken Robotnik's control over it. From time to time, he still fumed about the memory.
The hedgehog, his failed project, and quite a few other important figures in the treason movement were all sitting there, trapped and ready for destruction, and then that little worm overrode a door function from wherever he was and disappeared thence. It had been arguably a giant setback in his plans for complete domination and immortality. He'd find Snively someday, and prepare an especially gruesome vengeance for him.
Well, at the very least, there weren't any relatives around to frustrate him at the moment.
"Master, I've - oof - returned," the elevator intercom suddenly buzzed.
"Very good, Cluck. You seem a bit burdened - is there a problem?"
"Oof...nothing I can't handle, sir."
Very efficient and perhaps commendable, this Cluck that he'd built a couple months ago. He was obedient to perfection at any task that Robotnik gave him to do. Painstakingly programming his circuits to be loyal to his maker had paid off; not a hint of insubordination ever existed at any time since he was turned on.
There were, of course, drawbacks. As a servant robot, Cluck probably wouldn't be able to contest against the hedgehog or the other rodents should he run into them someday. Also, he tended to be overly puckish at times.
"By Jove! What is that gizmo you're talking into?" the intercom buzzed unexpectedly.
What...? Cluck appeared to have picked up a guest. But that was ridiculous. Cluck wasn't supposed to be able to capture anybody on his own yet. Who would just waltz in here to his doom -
Oh no. It couldn't be. There was no way he could get here -
"Excuse me, sir, the intercom is for business only - " he heard Cluck begin desperately.
"Indeed it is - family business! Julian? It's me, your uncle, here for an extended visit from abroad!"
Just perfect. Robotnik's uncle was supposed to be exiled on that island, way out in the ocean, where he could be eccentric and go hunting without bothering anybody else. Now, he was mere seconds away, having decided to cross over half the planet, probably on a whim. The entire idea was for him to stay there and not be in the way.
Desperate times called for desperate measures. He held his nose and did his best impersonation of a secretary that he could think of.
"I'm sorry, sir, Mr. Kintobor isn't here to see you. He stepped out to check on his, ahh, campaign. Overseas. For - ah - a really long time. We also don't have any documents or notices mentioning your arrival. Might I ask what your name is, sir?"
The voice on the other end was guffawing.
"Oh, Julian, your wit seems to have grown from nothing to be as sharp as that brain of yours! But there's no fooling your uncle, Sir Walter Eggery, Royal Game Warden of His Majesty King Acorn, not as long as he can bring down the fiercest consciousless beast on the planet in parts unknown to civilization! Don't mind if I toot my own horn, begging your pardons and all."
Robotnik groaned. "Aw, come on, sir, did you have to drop in now?" The greeting belied the exact specific problem he had with this particular relative of his. Every single time he'd dealt with his uncle in his past, he was forced to trade in his true appearance as the brilliant scientist he was for the façade of a placating buffoon.
"Hah hah, I can sense your joyful sentiment, my boy." Nope, he wasn't listening. "I'll be up shortly and then we'll have a nice long chat about yours and mine recent escapades. But not before we discuss your dreadful living quarters. What blasted floor is he on anyways?" Sir Walter barked back at the unfortunate robot.
"We're almost there," Cluck panted.
Oh, wasn't that perfect hindsight. Of all the great inventions that his mind had concocted to accelerate his conquest of the world, not one of them involved an escape route or a place to hide. There had been no need - no enemy, not even the rodents, was powerful enough to breach all of his defenses and reach this place. And he wasn't exactly the most mobile person either. Where to go, where to go?
The elevator floorbell dinged painfully.
"Ah, splendid. Onward!" No longer was the intercom necessary, for in staggered Cluck, beset by about five extremely heavy-looking bags, and behind him came a spitting image of Robotnik, only with a slightly trimmer figure, a pith helmet and explorer's garb, and the trademark monocle and a white handlebar moustache.
"Cordial salutations, lad!" he exclaimed gleefully as he strode to a paralyzed Ivo and grabbed him in a bear hug. "It's been ages since I've last seen you! How have you been?"
"Uhhh...can I put these down? Please?" Cluck's knees were vibrating back and forth under the effort.
"Yes, yes, of course. Anywhere is fine." The AI bird gratefully loosened his grip on the tonnage and grew about six inches as it all crashed to the ground about him. "Careful, you nincompoop! Many fine goods are in there that I don't want damaged." He reached in his pocket, pulled out a coin of the obsolete Mobian currency - probably still in use on the island he'd come back from - and flipped it to the bird, who stalked off, evidently insulted by his recruitment as a bellhop. "There you are, and I daresay you didn't earn it. Now," he said as he turned back to his nephew, "let's have a look at you. My, you've grown - ehrrm. In more ways than one, I might say."
"Thank you, sir," Robotnik replied through a clenched smile. As much as his uncle got on his nerves, it would be a completely lost cause should he try to tell the man off.
"It doesn't appear you've been eating too well. What, may I ask, have the Acorn family been feeding you?" Yipes. It was definitely time to conceive of a bald-faced whopper of a story. Sir Walter had been sent to that island of humans right after he'd performed his coup of their kingdom, so that he'd be out of the way and yet still alive. Not because he loved him, even though he did, sort of, a little bit. More like he feared him with every bit of his cold, calculating soul.
"I've managed. The fare is standard and quite delicious, actually."
"Well, I can see you wearing that belief with my own eyes!" Robotnik attempted a telepathic message to quit commenting on his weight, and then decided to change the subject.
"How did you get back here, sir?"
"Oh, it's a long and excellent tale, which I'll tell you all about later this evening. Let's just for now say that the people of that fantastic island you sent me to for an expedition agreed unanimously to send me to another hunting ground, the people of which followed suit, et cetera, et cetera, and thus the story will be an epic."
Robotnik stifled a scream and then considered this statement. It probably really meant his uncle managed to get on the nerves of everyone in the world that was rightfully his. Well, at least his ability to bore and irritate simultaneously helped decrease the morale for future invasions. Now if he could have only shot a few rodents while he was at it.
"How have Their Highnesses been, anyways? And how is that darling little boy and girl of theirs? Is one the reigning monarch yet? Nothing against old Max and Alicia, of course, I hope they're both still in wondrous health."
"Uh...they're just fine." By Robotnik's definitions, they were, anyways.
"Music to these old ears. Now, might I ask where everybody has vacated to, not to mention why this burg is such a desolate dump?"
"They've, er...." Time to think fast. "They've entrusted all of Robo - I mean, Mobotropolis to me while they've relocated their capital elsewhere." He'd almost had to spit out the old name of the city.
"Is that so. I daresay they've given you the raw end of the bargain. This city is nothing as I remembered it. Back in the day, the citizens would stop and greet you with a smile, and a nice meal over at the Grand Max cost mere pennies. Nowadays, I don't see the Grand Max, or citizens for that matter. Has something happened?" A sound of genuine concern, not often or easily obtained from the ineffable personality, now floated in his voice.
"Yes, well, uh...a massive famine had hit the city and so the townspeople decided to leave it and move out into a plain. Beyond the Great Forest, where you can't see them, on the other side from here. That's where they all are, back in an agricultural society, and that's where the Acorns are ruling from." How it pained him to say all this, but there was no way his uncle would not smite him beyond recovery for the truth of things. "Here now it's mostly an industrial and weapons site. I remain here alone to run it." This story was getting more and more complicated, never mind stupid, but hopefully the old man was senile enough to buy it. He was none the wiser as of yet, anyways.
"In my opinion, a bloody outrage! I demand to talk to old Max myself, right here and now, Julian! It'll be an expedition tomorrow, and then I'll give him an earful about this eyesore, sure as my name is..."
"Don't worry yourself, my dear uncle! I've agreed to this. It's perfectly fine."
"Hrumph. Are you certain about this?" The nephew nodded eagerly at the elder's question. "Well, you were always the quiet one. Frankly, I'm still confounded by your antisocial behavior after all these years. But you're a fully grown man now, and I suppose there's no dissuading such foolishness." These normally chagrining words allowed Robotnik to breathe a sigh of relief this time. At least when it counted, his uncle wouldn't start prying too far into his affairs like he'd always done.
Sir Walter's next musings made him wish he hadn't thought those words so soon.
"Still...sounds as if it's awfully lonesome. Fear not, I know exactly how to fix that. Julian, my boy, I've decided to retire from my explorations and let nature renew itself. From now on, I'm going to be staying here permanently and keep you company!"
The Eggman's jaw dropped.
"My dear boy, I know you're absolutely enthralled to have your good old uncle back!"
Oh, sure. Robotnik wanted to puke. Not only from the obvious problems, either. It was only a matter of time before the one man he "respected" found out the truth.
He never thought that his nephew would have the gumption to free a certain genetically altered and physically remodified beast, the pinnacle of one of his labors over the years, from its doom after something in one of its modifications had broken Robotnik's control over it. From time to time, he still fumed about the memory.
The hedgehog, his failed project, and quite a few other important figures in the treason movement were all sitting there, trapped and ready for destruction, and then that little worm overrode a door function from wherever he was and disappeared thence. It had been arguably a giant setback in his plans for complete domination and immortality. He'd find Snively someday, and prepare an especially gruesome vengeance for him.
Well, at the very least, there weren't any relatives around to frustrate him at the moment.
"Master, I've - oof - returned," the elevator intercom suddenly buzzed.
"Very good, Cluck. You seem a bit burdened - is there a problem?"
"Oof...nothing I can't handle, sir."
Very efficient and perhaps commendable, this Cluck that he'd built a couple months ago. He was obedient to perfection at any task that Robotnik gave him to do. Painstakingly programming his circuits to be loyal to his maker had paid off; not a hint of insubordination ever existed at any time since he was turned on.
There were, of course, drawbacks. As a servant robot, Cluck probably wouldn't be able to contest against the hedgehog or the other rodents should he run into them someday. Also, he tended to be overly puckish at times.
"By Jove! What is that gizmo you're talking into?" the intercom buzzed unexpectedly.
What...? Cluck appeared to have picked up a guest. But that was ridiculous. Cluck wasn't supposed to be able to capture anybody on his own yet. Who would just waltz in here to his doom -
Oh no. It couldn't be. There was no way he could get here -
"Excuse me, sir, the intercom is for business only - " he heard Cluck begin desperately.
"Indeed it is - family business! Julian? It's me, your uncle, here for an extended visit from abroad!"
Just perfect. Robotnik's uncle was supposed to be exiled on that island, way out in the ocean, where he could be eccentric and go hunting without bothering anybody else. Now, he was mere seconds away, having decided to cross over half the planet, probably on a whim. The entire idea was for him to stay there and not be in the way.
Desperate times called for desperate measures. He held his nose and did his best impersonation of a secretary that he could think of.
"I'm sorry, sir, Mr. Kintobor isn't here to see you. He stepped out to check on his, ahh, campaign. Overseas. For - ah - a really long time. We also don't have any documents or notices mentioning your arrival. Might I ask what your name is, sir?"
The voice on the other end was guffawing.
"Oh, Julian, your wit seems to have grown from nothing to be as sharp as that brain of yours! But there's no fooling your uncle, Sir Walter Eggery, Royal Game Warden of His Majesty King Acorn, not as long as he can bring down the fiercest consciousless beast on the planet in parts unknown to civilization! Don't mind if I toot my own horn, begging your pardons and all."
Robotnik groaned. "Aw, come on, sir, did you have to drop in now?" The greeting belied the exact specific problem he had with this particular relative of his. Every single time he'd dealt with his uncle in his past, he was forced to trade in his true appearance as the brilliant scientist he was for the façade of a placating buffoon.
"Hah hah, I can sense your joyful sentiment, my boy." Nope, he wasn't listening. "I'll be up shortly and then we'll have a nice long chat about yours and mine recent escapades. But not before we discuss your dreadful living quarters. What blasted floor is he on anyways?" Sir Walter barked back at the unfortunate robot.
"We're almost there," Cluck panted.
Oh, wasn't that perfect hindsight. Of all the great inventions that his mind had concocted to accelerate his conquest of the world, not one of them involved an escape route or a place to hide. There had been no need - no enemy, not even the rodents, was powerful enough to breach all of his defenses and reach this place. And he wasn't exactly the most mobile person either. Where to go, where to go?
The elevator floorbell dinged painfully.
"Ah, splendid. Onward!" No longer was the intercom necessary, for in staggered Cluck, beset by about five extremely heavy-looking bags, and behind him came a spitting image of Robotnik, only with a slightly trimmer figure, a pith helmet and explorer's garb, and the trademark monocle and a white handlebar moustache.
"Cordial salutations, lad!" he exclaimed gleefully as he strode to a paralyzed Ivo and grabbed him in a bear hug. "It's been ages since I've last seen you! How have you been?"
"Uhhh...can I put these down? Please?" Cluck's knees were vibrating back and forth under the effort.
"Yes, yes, of course. Anywhere is fine." The AI bird gratefully loosened his grip on the tonnage and grew about six inches as it all crashed to the ground about him. "Careful, you nincompoop! Many fine goods are in there that I don't want damaged." He reached in his pocket, pulled out a coin of the obsolete Mobian currency - probably still in use on the island he'd come back from - and flipped it to the bird, who stalked off, evidently insulted by his recruitment as a bellhop. "There you are, and I daresay you didn't earn it. Now," he said as he turned back to his nephew, "let's have a look at you. My, you've grown - ehrrm. In more ways than one, I might say."
"Thank you, sir," Robotnik replied through a clenched smile. As much as his uncle got on his nerves, it would be a completely lost cause should he try to tell the man off.
"It doesn't appear you've been eating too well. What, may I ask, have the Acorn family been feeding you?" Yipes. It was definitely time to conceive of a bald-faced whopper of a story. Sir Walter had been sent to that island of humans right after he'd performed his coup of their kingdom, so that he'd be out of the way and yet still alive. Not because he loved him, even though he did, sort of, a little bit. More like he feared him with every bit of his cold, calculating soul.
"I've managed. The fare is standard and quite delicious, actually."
"Well, I can see you wearing that belief with my own eyes!" Robotnik attempted a telepathic message to quit commenting on his weight, and then decided to change the subject.
"How did you get back here, sir?"
"Oh, it's a long and excellent tale, which I'll tell you all about later this evening. Let's just for now say that the people of that fantastic island you sent me to for an expedition agreed unanimously to send me to another hunting ground, the people of which followed suit, et cetera, et cetera, and thus the story will be an epic."
Robotnik stifled a scream and then considered this statement. It probably really meant his uncle managed to get on the nerves of everyone in the world that was rightfully his. Well, at least his ability to bore and irritate simultaneously helped decrease the morale for future invasions. Now if he could have only shot a few rodents while he was at it.
"How have Their Highnesses been, anyways? And how is that darling little boy and girl of theirs? Is one the reigning monarch yet? Nothing against old Max and Alicia, of course, I hope they're both still in wondrous health."
"Uh...they're just fine." By Robotnik's definitions, they were, anyways.
"Music to these old ears. Now, might I ask where everybody has vacated to, not to mention why this burg is such a desolate dump?"
"They've, er...." Time to think fast. "They've entrusted all of Robo - I mean, Mobotropolis to me while they've relocated their capital elsewhere." He'd almost had to spit out the old name of the city.
"Is that so. I daresay they've given you the raw end of the bargain. This city is nothing as I remembered it. Back in the day, the citizens would stop and greet you with a smile, and a nice meal over at the Grand Max cost mere pennies. Nowadays, I don't see the Grand Max, or citizens for that matter. Has something happened?" A sound of genuine concern, not often or easily obtained from the ineffable personality, now floated in his voice.
"Yes, well, uh...a massive famine had hit the city and so the townspeople decided to leave it and move out into a plain. Beyond the Great Forest, where you can't see them, on the other side from here. That's where they all are, back in an agricultural society, and that's where the Acorns are ruling from." How it pained him to say all this, but there was no way his uncle would not smite him beyond recovery for the truth of things. "Here now it's mostly an industrial and weapons site. I remain here alone to run it." This story was getting more and more complicated, never mind stupid, but hopefully the old man was senile enough to buy it. He was none the wiser as of yet, anyways.
"In my opinion, a bloody outrage! I demand to talk to old Max myself, right here and now, Julian! It'll be an expedition tomorrow, and then I'll give him an earful about this eyesore, sure as my name is..."
"Don't worry yourself, my dear uncle! I've agreed to this. It's perfectly fine."
"Hrumph. Are you certain about this?" The nephew nodded eagerly at the elder's question. "Well, you were always the quiet one. Frankly, I'm still confounded by your antisocial behavior after all these years. But you're a fully grown man now, and I suppose there's no dissuading such foolishness." These normally chagrining words allowed Robotnik to breathe a sigh of relief this time. At least when it counted, his uncle wouldn't start prying too far into his affairs like he'd always done.
Sir Walter's next musings made him wish he hadn't thought those words so soon.
"Still...sounds as if it's awfully lonesome. Fear not, I know exactly how to fix that. Julian, my boy, I've decided to retire from my explorations and let nature renew itself. From now on, I'm going to be staying here permanently and keep you company!"
The Eggman's jaw dropped.
"My dear boy, I know you're absolutely enthralled to have your good old uncle back!"
Oh, sure. Robotnik wanted to puke. Not only from the obvious problems, either. It was only a matter of time before the one man he "respected" found out the truth.