Disclaimer: If I didn't own the first chapter, what makes you think I own this one.
Chapter two: Dude, I've got a scar
Harry: What the &%#& happened?
Little voice in his head called Gollum: You are gunna be killed, filthy little hobbitses!
Harry: Why am I talking to myself?
Gollum: Kill the theives, they took the precious! My precioussssssssss!
Harry: get out! *hits himself in the head with a chair and is knocked out*
Gollum: I'm not knocked out! *rummages in draw and finds porn*. Oh no they didn't steal the precious.
Harry: Ow my head! I just had the weirdest dream.
Gollum: What happened?
Harry: I was dancing in a chicken suit! OH GOD, GOLLUM, IT WAS TERRIBLE!
Gollum: the thought still haunts me *shudders*
Harry: there was also this one dream about Wormtail and Voldemort, but that was pretty boring.
Gollum: you should mail Sirius, on that
Harry: why?
Gollum: Your head hurt, didn't it?
Harry: that because Dudley chased me into a gay bar and I drunk to #(^%ing much!
Gollum: If you don't mail him, I'll burn the precioussss
Harry: I could tell Hermione
Gollum: That bitchy mudblood, she worries too $&#&ing much!
Harry: then I'll tell, my best homie, Ron
Gollum: Are you high or just plain stupid!
Harry: Alright. *turns on computer and emails Sirius at Sirius_is_Padfoot@brokeoutofAzkaban.com.au/)*
(A/N au/ at the end of an email means that it's in Australia)
Gollum: where the @&$& is your owl, I'm hungry
Harry: you ate my owl, remember?