Disclaimer: I don't own it, but it is getting a lot closer to opposite day, though. MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!
Chapter three: I'm off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of Oz!
*After emailing the letter Harry*
Gollum: wait for me!
*and Gollum went down to eat food.*
*Jaws music played as Aunt Petunia hovers around the place*
Petunia: EAT YOU FOOLS EAT! BECOME LARGE WITH FOOD!
Vernon: But this stuff tastes like shit!
Petunia: DUDLEY DON'T TAKE DUMPS ON YOUR FATHERS PLATE!
Dudley: I NEED FOOD!
Harry: Hello
Dudley: GIVE ME FOOD, YOU *$&%*&^%*^%(&%^&%$$T^$%&^%^*$^%$^%$&*&(*&($^$#&^%$&%$&^%&#$E^#
Harry: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH *falls on the floor larfing*
Dudley: *shits (not sits) on Harry* AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Doorbell: Ring a ding ding. Ding a ring ring. This song is doorbellist! I WILL NOT TOLERATE THIS DOORBELLISM!
Harry: *covered in shit!* Sing what you want then!
Doorbell: Yay! Some where over the rainbow...
Petunia: IS ANYONE GOING TO GET THE DOOR! GET THE DOOR YOU STUPID PIGS!
Vernon: I would, but I'm too lazy,
Petunia: Sic him Dudley!
Dudley: *Starts biting his father*
Harry: *%#^ this, I'll get the door!
Petunia: NO YOU WON'T!
Steve Erwin: *comes through the door* crickey, take a look at this beauty. *jumps Petunia like she's a crocodile*
Vernon: Alright, alright, I'll get the door. Sheeesh, you don't have to yell.
*later*
*Petunia has been taken to Australia zoo, because she's like a crocodile*
*Dudley is dead*
Vernon: So.
Harry: So what? Yes I killed Dudley!
Vernon: no, it's not that. It's this. *pulls out letter* It's a letter from Mrs Weasley.
Harry: Does it say I can go to the world cup?
Vernon: yes. Go, go, you mustn't waste your superhuman strengths here.
Harry: Can I stay the night here, until the arrive.
Vernon: I suppose so. MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Gollum: He stole our precious!