Disclaimer: I own a copy of the book, and yet I don't own the idea, interesting!
Chapter four: Go home!
*Harry is waiting for the Weasley to come*
Vernon: You did tell them that you're insane.
Harry: Er
*he hadn't though of that*
Harry: I think so
*naturally Uncle Vernon would ask whether they were insane also*
Gollum: I'm not insane.
Vernon: I wasn't talking to you, Gollum!
Gollum: Kill him Harry, he stole the precious!
Harry: *kills his uncle* DIE ASSHOLE DIE!
Mr Weasley: Hello *behind the blocked up fire* Where am I? This isn't my house
Harry: go home, don't bother me!
Fred: We've been here three #*$^ing hours, when are we gunna jump out at Harry and yell "booga booga booga"?
George: No speak english!
Ron: Have you guys been here all this time, mums mad that you won't sign the divorce papers?
Harry: the fireplace has been boarded up
Mr Weasley: Why would you wanna board up the fireplace
George: No speak english!
Harry: To keep Santa there!
Fred: so that's what this skeleton is!
George: No speak english!
Mr Weasley: well there's no other way!
*the fireplace gets unborded, to reveal the Weasley's, a schnoodle, a skeleton and Victor Krum)
Harry: *picks up broom* shoo, go away! *shoves Victor Krum out side*
(a/n whatever the schnoodle says it says in schnoodle tongue)
Schnoodle: You pet me, I'll rip that arm right off!
Mr Weasley: It's so cute *pats schnoodle on his head*
Schnoodle: *bites off Mr Weasley's hand* I told you *starts trying to steal his left shoe as he screams in pain*
Fred: I'll get the trunk *goes off*
Gollum: Don't hurt the precious! No, not the precious.
George: *starts talking in Spanish* No speak english!
Mr Weasley: *has killed the schnoodle and sewn his hand back on* Lets go *puts da foo powder in the fireplace and shit*
Fred: *runs in carring trunk* we have to go! NOW! *runs into the fire*
Ron: Why?
Steve Erwin: *runs in with the camera crew* crickey!
Harry: wholy shit!
*they all run into the fire, except Steve*