.

.

Think of me what you want, I don't care. Andrea and I became lovers from that day onward, our intimacy spanning from furious fucking to sweet precious love making at every possible moment. Nothing and no one could stop us, nothing hold us back. We were good together, great even, and are to this day.

Admittedly, I was still married, my husband none the wiser about my dalliance. Why? Because I did not wish to put my darling twins through the hell of another public divorce where our lives would be splashed in the papers, to be commented on and judged. Andrea understood I think. I was torn though and my resolve weakened as time went by. I could hardly stand to be around my husband anymore and his attempts at conjugal activities were the worst. Still, I had not done anything to change my situation and I will never be able to tell you if or when I would have, had I not ended in this conundrum.

Because, guess what?

I am pregnant.

With a baby, yes.

Two actually, my doctor told me. Twins again. Fate must be laughing hard at me.

I am seven weeks along more or less according to the doctor. Which begs the question: who is the kids father or should I say mother? Other mother? Dear lord, I am Editor in Chief and I have no idea what the politically correct term to call my lover in this situation is.

I am of course hoping, praying even, that the kids are Andrea's. I mean how could they not be? We have sex daily, sometimes several times a day. And my husband? Well, it happens occasionally, when he must. Unfortunately for me, one such occasion happened about seven weeks ago after we attended a work function of his. I let him do his thing, thinking his five minutes would be over sooner than a lengthy discussion about why I am such a frigid cold bitch. If only I had known...

How could I have? The moment Andrea and I became actively involved I went to see my gynecologist and had my IUD renewed. They only last for so long you know and I did not want to run any risks. Better safe than sorry I figured. Fate must be rolling on the floor laughing. So hard.

According to the doctor what happened is, that, as I loved sex with Andrea so much and didn't even want to stop during my periods, I started to use tampons instead of my usual pads. Sorry, if this topic weirds you out, but a period is a very natural occurrence in a woman's life, so why not talk about them? I mean, I am not to share any details, but talking about what is an essential part of a woman's life seems only natural, wouldn't you agree?

Anyway, I needed my daily dose of Andrea and apparently tampons and IUDs don't go all too well together. Something about a minimal risk of the IUD's strings getting caught in the tampon's tissue and being pulled out together. There you have it, my IUD is AWOL not to be found in the ultrasound or my uterus. Contrary to two small gestational sacks, neatly tucked into my walls, one on the left, one on the right side.

"Miranda?" My Andrea inquired that evening, as she ran her fingers slowly through my hair. "How was the doctor's appointment? Did he confirm?"

I clenched my arms around her. We were lying on her bed in her apartment, where Roy had driven us after work. Andrea knew I might be pregnant, having heard me retch in my private bathroom at the office one too many times. The joy of sharing a work place I guess. Don't get me wrong, I love seeing Andrea every day for more hours than most couples get to spend together. But close proximity makes keeping a secret that much harder, not that I want to have secrets from Andrea, just this once, I wish, I had had more time...

"Yes, he did." My words were almost inaudible with my head tucked into Andrea's neck. Her soft, enticing neck.

She pressed a kiss to my hair.

"It's ok Miranda, we'll figure things out. Whatever you want to do, I'll be by your side, no matter what. Your body, your choice." Since I was pushed so hard against Andrea I could not miss the slight tremble as she spoke. I squeezed her a little tighter.

"Thank you darling. I know what I want though. I am keeping..." I stopped short. Oh god, would Andrea still be by my side once she knew everything?

"Oh thank goodness!" Even without looking at Andrea, the giddiness in her voice was unmistakable. "Everything will be fine Miranda, you'll see. Our little one will be one happy little girl or boy and we will give them everything they can ever wish for!"

"Them," I sighed. "Them, well said." I did not dare leave my secure spot on Andrea's body.

"Miranda?" she tensed up. "What... what are you saying?"

Upon hearing Andrea's confusion, I pushed back from her to look at her lovely face. I took a calming breath.

"I am saying, darling, that there are two of them." Shock colored Andrea's face. I could not hold her reaction against her, after all I had had a similar one. Only I had heard all this before, for Cassidy and Caroline.

"Two?" Andrea slowly breathed out. "Two? Oh my gosh.…"

I reached for her hand, needing the touch, the reassurance. Minutes passed by in silence.

"How do you feel about that?" The silence tore at my nerves, I needed to know.

Andrea let out a long breath. "I'm not sure," she admitted. "I'm scared, excited, happy, ecstatic even, I mean my swimmers did that! Two kids, way to go!" She took another breath. "But two is a lot of responsibility and we are not even really together, you are married to someone else, we can't be a family..." There was sadness in Andrea's voice. Something I had been afraid of.

"Would you want that Andrea? A family? With me?" I tried not to hold my breath. I had asked myself the same question and if I compared my physical and mental reactions to being with my husband or being with Andrea, there was only one possible answer.

"Well," Andrea hesitantly looked at me, "I would love nothing more but Miranda, I have to ask: are you sure these kids are mine?" Tears pooled in Andrea's eyes.

I myself took a shuddering breath before answering. "No." She deserved my honesty. A sob escaped me. "I am so sorry my love, so sorry." I withdrew my hand from hers and curled up in a fetal position. Sobs wracked my body. How could this have ever happened to me? Me, a married woman, in a very public executive position, 45 years old with two kids, engaging in a sordid love affair, getting pregnant with two more kids only to not know who knocked her up. Despair cursed through me.

Once I calmed a little down, I became aware of Andrea spooning me, whispering soothing words into my ear and holding me so lovingly. "Miranda, we'll figure it out," she told me. Oh god, Andrea, how can you be so loving in such a horrid situation. I do not deserve you. But god, I love you!

Sometime later Andrea rose, looked down at me and nibbled on her bottom lip. I knew what was coming.

"Just ask," I resigned myself to my fate.

"I'm just wondering how you can even be pregnant, I mean, you always said we were safe since you had birth control. And did you not say what you used is one of the safest?"

That was not the question I thought Andrea might ask and, to be honest, I was hugely relieved.

"That's you and me both Andrea. I asked the same question. It appears that though very safe, there is a sure way to make an IUD unsafe."

"Huh?" Andrea eloquently interjected.

I sighed. "Using tampons during my period made the removal strings catch in a tampon and it seems I simply removed both, tampon and IUD." I felt a blush creep up my cheeks, explaining what happened aloud just sounded so stupid. Like I should have known.

Andrea giggled. I shot her a warning glance. "Don't mock me."

"I'm not. But honestly, us being so horny we couldn't wait a few days brought this on? Oh my god, that's just so…" Andrea trailed off.

"So what Andrea? Please enlighten me." My patience was running thin.

"Don't be mad, please," she tangled our fingers again. See how we are? Constantly touching, always near each other? "Today is the day I learn I am going to be a mother and I don't actually care how you made that possible, but accidentally removing your birth control with a tampon because we wanted to be intimate? Come on, you have to admit that's rather funny." Her eyes sparkled in mirth.

"Are you happy to potentially be a mother Andrea?" My question made her sober up and her expression got serious in a heartbeat.

"Absolutely. I am." She wrapped her arms around me. "Am I glad you are not sure if they are really mine? Absolutely not. Not at all. But until someone tells me otherwise, I will pretend these kids are mine."

I pulled her into me and kissed her senseless.

"They will be yours, they have to be. I want them to be yours so much Andrea."

She turned to look at me. "You do?" She sounded surprised.

"Of course I do! Do you really think after all you and I have shared these last few months I want to carry Stephen's children?" I was slightly incredulous.

"I just thought, if they were his, your life might be much easier going forward. You could simply tell him he was going to be a father, announce to everyone the good news and that was that." She again nibbled her lower lip. "Instead you will have to tell your husband you have an affair which you got pregnant from. Since I'm a woman, we will have to come out to the world and the press will have the field day of all field days with your infidelity, potential divorce, your new much younger lover and your coming out. To top all this off, your daughters will be caught in the middle of this mess." Andrea's lower lip began to quiver.

"I see where you are going with this," I admitted. "But there is one important thing you have not considered, the most important actually." I made her look at me. "I love you Andrea." With that I pulled her in and kissed her deeply. "I love you, more than you will ever know."

So far, we had never admitted our feelings to each other. Therefore, my heartfelt declaration made Andrea sob. Tears streamed down her cheeks and she looked so lost I had to cradle her in my arms again and just hold her tight to me.

"I do baby-girl, I do love you, hush, everything's going to be alright. We will figure things out my love. Please, don't cry. As you said, today is the day you found out you will be a parent. You said it's a happy day."

"I am happy Miranda, so happy!" Andrea managed between her sobs. "It's just a lot. Becoming a mother to your children, learning you love me." She crawled more into me if that was even possible. "I love you too Miranda. So much, have for so long."

"Our children, darling." I needed to correct her. These two children may be inside me for now but I would be damned if I did not consider them to be Andrea's and mine from the start. We made them together after all.

"Ours, oh god, I love the sound of that. Miranda, you make me the happiest woman on this planet. Our children. Oh my god, thank you!"

"Hold that thought darling when you have to get up at all hours to feed one or both of them and change an endless amount of diapers." I smirked. After all, I knew what was coming our way. "Been there, done that."

"Miranda?" Andrea pulled back from me, another question clearly shining in her expressive eyes.

"Yes, my darling?" I ran my hand along her back soothingly. She still seemed a little shaken.

"Um, I don't really know how to say this, but I need to know."

"What is it darling? You can ask me anything."

"Is it safe for you?"

"Is what safe for me?"

"Being pregnant, having twins again."

I sighed. That was the question I had expected earlier and which I dreaded.

"There is no simple answer. All pregnancies after the age of 34 are risky, after 40 they are considered high risk."

"You're 45…."

"Astute." I couldn't help myself and as an answer Andrea pinched me a little.

"Be serious" she admonished me.

"Sorry dear," I raised my hands in mock surrender, "I will. Seriously, the doctor said it was too early to ascertain any particular risks besides my advanced age. High risk pregnancies in general are monitored closely and so will be this one. Once possible, I will have some prenatal testing done to ensure both fetuses are healthy and well. Until then, a healthy diet, some sports and not too much stress and all should be well. Does that answer your question?"

"Yeah, thanks Miranda, I needed to know. There is no way I would want to risk your health for having my children. I could not bear knowing what I did to you was harmful to you in any way."

"Andrea, please listen closely: first things first, you did not do anything to me. We both did what we did, I do remember us both actively involved in our sex life." A smirk crossed Andrea's features.

"Secondly, nothing is going to happen to me. The doctors will monitor me and I will adjust my life as necessary. We will all be fine." I refused to consider anything else. I may not be sure who sired these children in me, but I knew I loved them already.

TBC...