Jennie's POV
No matter how hard I tried to avoid seeing her all week, I somehow end up in her car with her. She doesn't look at me as I get in or while I buckle my seat belt. I tug at the dress again, trying to pull it over my thighs. We sit in silence for a moment and then she pulls out of the parking lot. One saving grace is her not allowing Nancy to ride with us—I would have rather walked home than watch her fawn all over her.
"What's with the new look?" she finally asks once we're on the freeway. "Um . . . well, Wendy wanted to try something new with me, I guess." I keep my eyes fixed on the buildings passing by outside the window. Her usual aggressive music is playing quietly through the car.
"It's a little over-the-top, don't you think?" she asks and I ball my fists on my lap. So this is her plan today, to insult me the whole way back to my room.
"You didn't have to drive me home, you know." I lean my head against the window, trying to create as much space between us as possible.
"Don't get so defensive; all I am saying is your little makeover is a little extreme."
"Well, good thing I don't care what you think, but considering your distaste for my usual appearance, I'm surprised you don't think I look better like this," I snap and close my eyes. I am already exhausted from being around her and she is sucking the little bit of energy that remained from me.
I hear her chuckle quietly and she turns the radio off completely. "I never said there was anything wrong with your appearance. Your clothes, yes, but I'd much rather see the hideous long skirts than these clothes."
She's trying to explain but her answer doesn't really make sense. She seems to like when Nancy dresses this way, only much skankier, so why not me?
"Did you hear me, Jennie?" she asks when I don't respond, and I feel her hand touch my thigh. I jerk away from her touch and open my eyes.
"Yes, I did. I just don't have anything to say about it. If you don't like the way I'm dressed, then don't look at me." One good thing that comes from talking to Lisa is that for once in my life I can say exactly what comes to my mind without worrying about hurting her feelings, seeing as how she has none.
"That is precisely the problem here, isn't it? That I can't stop looking at you." The words leave her mouth and I consider opening the car door and hurling myself onto the freeway.
"Oh! Please!" I laugh. I know she will say just enough nice, yet cryptic, things to make it more painful when she takes them back and throws more insults at me later.
"What? It's true. I approve of the new clothes, but you don't need all this makeup. Regular girls wear tons of makeup to look as good as you do without it."
What? She must have forgotten that we aren't speaking, that she tried to ruin my life less than a week ago, and that we despise each other.
"You don't expect me to thank you, do you?" I half-laugh. She is so confusing; she is brooding and angry one minute and telling me she can't stop looking at me the next.
"Why didn't you tell them the truth about Jisoo and me?" she asks, changing the subject.
"Because you obviously didn't want them to know."
"Still, why would you keep my secrets?"
"Because they are not mine to tell."
She looks over to me with hooded eyes and a slight smile. "I wouldn't have blamed you if you did, considering what I did with Kai."
"Yeah, well, I am not you."
"No, no you're not," she says, her voice much quieter. And after that she remains silent for the rest of the drive, as do I. I have nothing to say to her.
We finally pull onto campus and she parks in the farthest possible spot from my room. Of course.
I reach for the door handle and Lisa's hand touches my thigh again. "You're not going to thank me?" She smiles and I shake my head.
"Thanks for the ride," I say sarcastically. "Hurry back—Nancy's waiting," I add as I climb out. I hope she didn't hear me; I am not sure why I even said that.
"Yeah . . . I better. She sure is fun when she's drunk," she says with a smirk.
Trying to hide the fact that I feel like she just punched me in the stomach, I lean down to look at her through the passenger window and Lisa rolls it down. "Yeah, I am sure she is. Kai's coming soon, anyway," I lie and watch her eyes narrow.
"He is?" Lisa picks at her fingernails, a nervous habit, I assume.
"Yep, see you around." I smile and walk off.
I hear her get out of her car and shut the door. "Wait!" she says and I turn around. "I . . . never mind, I thought you, um, dropped something but you didn't." Her cheeks flush. She's clearly lying, and I want to know what she was going to say, but I need to walk away now, so I do just that.
"Bye, Lisa." The words mean more than I let on. I don't look back to see if she is coming after me because I know she isn't.
I TAKE THE HEELS OFF before I even get to my room and walk barefoot the rest of the way through campus. The second I get into the room I put my fuzzy pajamas back on and call Kai. He answers on the second ring.
"Hey," I squeak. My voice sounds too high-pitched. It's only Kai, why am I so nervous?
"Hey, Jennie, how was your day today?" he asks softly. He doesn't sound like the same distant Kai that I've gotten all week. I sigh in relief.
"It was okay, actually, I am just hanging out in my room tonight. What are you doing?" I purposely leave out my dinner with Wendy and everyone, including Lisa. That will not help my "please forgive me" campaign.
"I just got out of practice. I'm thinking I'll study tonight because I'm helping the new neighbors cut a tree down tomorrow."
He is always helping everyone. He is too good for me. "I'm just studying tonight, too."
"I wish we could study together," he says, and I smile while picking at the tiny lint balls on my fuzzy socks.
"You do?"
"Yeah, of course, Jennie. I still love you and I miss you. But I have to know that nothing like this will ever happen again. I'm willing to try to put this past us, but you have to promise me you will stay away from her," he says. He doesn't have to say her name.
"Of course I will, I swear—I love you!" Part of me knows that I am desperate to have Kai forgive me only because I don't want to be completely alone and fawning over Lisa, but I ignore it.
After exchanging more "I love you's" with Kai, he agrees to accompany me to the bonfire next weekend and we get off the phone. I look online for the closest car dealerships to campus, and lucky for me there appears to be a good number of used-car lots ready to rip off college students. After noting the addresses of a few, I dig through Wendy's makeup bag and finally find the wipes to remove all my makeup. It takes forever, and this obnoxious process alone makes me never want to wear it again, regardless of how good it looked.