Jennie's POV
The faint sound of buzzing floats through my dream in a steady pattern. Why won't it stop? I roll over, not wanting to wake up, but the obnoxious sound insists that I do. I'm disoriented, and forget where I am. And then when I realize I'm in Wendy's bed, I still almost forget Lisa is in my room.
How do we always end up together? And more important, where is that annoying noise coming from? In the dim light provided by streetlights just outside the window, I follow the noise and it leads to Lisa's pocket. I feel as if the noise is calling to me in my dreamy state. I debate whether or not to reach into her pocket, my eyes focused on the imprint of the phone in the front pocket of her tight jeans. It stops as I reach my bed so I steal another opportunity to take in how peaceful Lisa looks in her sleep. There is no soft crinkle in her forehead from her constant frowning, and there is no purse to her pink plump lips. I sigh and turn around only to have the buzzing start again. I'm just going to grab it, she won't wake up. I dip my hand down and struggle to reach into Lisa's pocket. If her pants weren't so tight, I would be able to pull the phone from her pocket . . . but I have no such luck.
"What are you doing?" she groans.
I jolt a few feet away from my bed. "Your phone is going off and it woke me up," I whisper, despite the fact that we are the only people in the room. I watch silently as she digs into her pocket, her large hand struggling to pull out her phone. "What?" She snaps into the mouthpiece when she does get it out, only to swipe her hand over her forehead at whatever response she received.
"I am not coming back there tonight. I am at a friend's house."
Are we friends? Of course not, I'm just a convenient excuse for why she isn't returning to the party. I stand awkwardly and shift my weight from one leg to the other.
"No, you can't go into my room. You know this. I'm going back to sleep now, so don't wake me up again. And my door is locked, so don't waste your time trying." She hangs up, and I instinctively back away. Her bad mood is palpable, and I don't want to be on the receiving end of her venom. I crawl onto Wendy's bed and pull the blanket to me.
"Sorry that my phone woke you," she says quietly. "It was Nancy."
"Oh." I sigh and lie down on my side, facing my bed across the room. Lisa gives me a small smile, as if she knows what I'm thinking about Nancy. I can't ignore the small bubble of excitement that comes from her being here instead of with Nancy, even though her actions make no sense to me.
"You don't like her, do you?" She rolls fully onto her side, her hair messy and everywhere on my pillow.
I shake my head. "Not really, but please don't tell her. I don't want any drama," I beg. I know I can't trust her, but hopefully she will forget to stir up controversy with this information.
"I won't. I don't care for her, either," she murmurs.
"Yeah, you really seem to dislike her," I say just as sarcastically as I can manage.
"I don't. I mean, she is fun and all, but she is quite annoying," she admits, making that bubble grow a little more.
"Well, maybe you should stop messing around with her," I suggest and roll onto my back so she can't see my face.
"Is there a reason I shouldn't mess around with her?"
"No. I mean, if you think she is annoying, then why keep doing it?" I know I don't want the answer to this, but can't help it.
"To keep me occupied, I guess."
I close my eyes and take a deep breath. Talking about Lisa messing around with Nancy hurts me worse than it should.
Her smooth voice interrupts my jealous thoughts. "Come lie with me." "No."
"Come on, just lie with me. I sleep better when you're near me," she says like it's a confession.
I sit up and look at her. "What?" I can't hide my surprise at her words.
Whether she means them or not, they make my insides melt.
"I sleep better when you're with me." She breaks eye contact and looks down. "Last weekend I slept better than I have in a while."
"It was probably the scotch, not me." I try to make light of her confession. I don't know what else to do or say.
"No, it was you."
"Good night, Lisa." I turn over. If she keeps saying these things and I keep listening, I will be putty in her hands yet again.
"Why don't you believe me?" she almost whispers.
"Because you always do this: you say a few nice things and then you flip the switch and I end up crying."
"I make you cry?"
How doesn't she know that? She has seen me cry more than anyone else I know.
"Yeah, often," I say, gripping Wendy's blanket tight.
I hear her bed squeak lightly and I close my eyes, out of fear, out of something else, too. Lisa's fingers graze my arm as she sits on the edge of Wendy's bed, and I tell myself it's too late—well, early—for this at 4 a.m.
"I don't mean to make you cry."
I open my eyes and look up at her. "Yes. Yes, you do. That's your exact intention every time you say hurtful things to me. And when you forced me to tell Kai about us. And when you humiliated me in your bed last week because I couldn't say exactly what you wanted me to. Tonight you tell me you sleep better when I am around, but if I was to lie with you, the second we woke up you would just tell me I am ugly, or that you can't stand me. After we went to the stream, I thought that . . . never mind. There are only so many times I can have this talk with you." I take in a couple of deep breaths, panicked at my unloading on her.
"I'm listening this time." Her eyes are unreadable, but they make me want to continue.
"I just don't know why you love this cat-and-mouse game you play with me so much. You're nice, then mean. You tell Wendy you'll 'ruin' me if I come around you, then you want to drive me home. You are just all over the place."
"I didn't mean that. That I would ruin you, I just . . . I don't know. I just say things sometimes," she says, running her hands through her hair.
"Why did you drop Literature?" I finally ask.
"Because you want me to stay away from you, and I need to stay away from you."
"So why don't you, then?" I am slightly aware of the shift in energy around us. Somehow we have moved closer, our bodies only inches apart.
"I don't know," she huffs. She rubs her hands together, then rests them on her knees.
I want to say something—anything—but I can't without telling Lisa that I don't want her to stay away, that I think about her every second of every day.
Finally, she breaks the silence. "Can I ask you something and you will be completely honest?"
I nod.
"Did you . . . did you miss me this week?"
That was the last thing I expected her to ask me. I blink a few times to clear my frantic mind. I told her I would answer truthfully, but I'm afraid to.
"Well?"
"Yeah," I mumble and hide my face in my hands, only to have her pull them away, her touch on my wrists setting fire to my skin.
"Yeah, what?" Her voice is strained, like she is desperate for my answer. "I missed you," I gulp, expecting the worst.
What I did not expect is her sigh of relief, and the smile that stretches across her beautiful face. I want to ask her if she missed me, but she begins to speak before I get the chance.
"Really?" she asks, almost like she doesn't believe me.
I nod in reply and she gives me a shy smile. Lisa shy? More likely she's pleased by my admittance because it tells her she has me wrapped around her finger.
"Now can I go back to sleep?" I whine. I know she isn't going to reciprocate my confession with one of her own, and it is really late.
"Only if you sleep with me. As in, in the same bed, of course." She smiles.
I sigh and mumble, "Oh, Lisa, can we just go to sleep?" as I roll over, careful not to touch her. But a sudden yank on my legs makes me yelp in surprise, and I quickly find Lisa lifting me off the bed and throwing me over her shoulder. She ignores my kicking and pleas to put me down until she reaches my bed, rests one knee on it, and lays me down gently on the side against the wall before lying down next to me. I glare at her silently, afraid that if I fight her too hard she'll leave, which I know I don't want.
She reaches down and picks up the pillow that I tossed at her earlier and places it between us as a barrier with a smirk on her face. "There, now you can sleep, safe and secure."
I smile back at her. I can't help it. "Good night," I half-giggle. "Night, Jennie." She laughs back and I roll over on my side.
But suddenly I'm not anywhere near tired, so I just stare at the wall, hoping this electricity will dissipate and I can sleep. Well, half-hoping.
A few minutes later I feel the pillow move and then Lisa's arm wraps around my waist and she pulls me to her chest. I don't move it or call attention to her actions. I am enjoying the feeling too much.
"I missed you, too," she whispers against my hair. I smile knowing that she can't see me. I feel the light pressure of her lips against the back of my head and my stomach flips. As much as I love it, I am left more confused than ever as I drift off to sleep.