CHAPTER NINE

Natsume felt so close to Mikan yet so far. They've been cohabiting for a few months now, and any minute, she might pop.

He's honestly doing a good job in helping her with her pregnancy. He's seen the good, the bad, and much to her dismay, the ugly. She feels the ugliest she's ever been, and she honestly feels so hot for him now more than ever. She didn't want to admit it, besides, she was waiting for the right time because it might drive him away. For now, she's content that at least, they're friends. Well, he's not opening up to her much like before, but at least they're friends.

She was about to call Natsume for dinner until she heard him on a video call with someone else… that girl from before. She remembered. She tried to eavesdrop on the conversation.

"I'm just saying, you shouldn't be there." She said.

"You don't get it." She heard him say.

"You deserve someone better, Nattie. Someone who would never treat you the way she does." Mikan felt something on her stomach. Anger, probably. Who knows?

Natsume made a snide at her remark. "And that someone is?"

"I'm just saying… You know how I feel about you." It was enough to drive Mikan nuts. She's fucking pregnant with their kids and this fucking girl had the fucking nerve to bad mouth her to her man. I don't care. He's mine. He's fucking mine. She screamed and accidentally peed herself out of anger. Natsume was so shocked and cut off the call he was having. "Mikan!"

"You fucking asshole!" She cursed at him.

"Your water broke!" He screamed.

"Oh, that was-" Mikan suddenly realized what was happening. "Oh I'm- please take me to the hospital." She said as Natsume quickly grabbed everything they needed before they head out.

Mikan wasn't exactly an easy patient, in fact, she was kind of an asshole. She was so fueled with so much pain physically and emotionally that she cursed Natsume throughout the drive.

He was really patient with her, he called up her doctor, got everything ready, and sped through traffic like crazy. He didn't care if she kept throwing out curses at him. She's the one giving birth anyway, not him.

"You fucking asshole! Had I known-" she screamed. "You'd give me the worst time, I would've fucking killed you in your-" she screamed again. "…fucking sleep! I wish you were the one fucking" she screamed one more time. "Giving birth to these kids right now." He was tensed but he wanted to laugh. People always knew her to be a nice girl, but to him, she never was, she was definitely more than that. She was a force in his life and she made his heart flutter all the time. She can be crazy, but he loves her nonetheless. He pushed the brake a little too hard with his sudden realization. "Are you out of your goddamn mind? You want me to fucking murder you?" He got distracted from his thoughts. He repeatedly told himself to focus as he helped her out of the car and into the emergency room.

The doctor came right on time and went to check on Mikan.

"…about 10 cm now." They heard the nurse say to the doctor as they quickly wheeled her into the delivery room. "Natsume, please don't leave me, I'm scared." She cried out in desperation, grabbing his arm.

"I am always with you, I promise." He said as he kissed her forehead, the most emotion they gave each other for the past months.

"I trust you." Mikan smiled as she let him go.

One by one their friends and family showed up at the hospital.

It didn't take too long before the doctor got out of the room and congratulated Natsume.

"It's a boy and a girl, Mr. Hyuuga." Natsume was beyond ecstatic. He turned to Hotaru and Ruka and hugged them. They looked at each other and smiled out of shock but patted him on the back nonetheless. "Congrats, Natsume." Ruka cheered on.

Her parents soon came in and hugged him. He started to cry. "I was really trying my best."

"You've done more than enough for them, son." Her mom softly spoke. Natsume cried and felt relieved. He honestly thought they hated him.

One by one, people kept pouring into the hospital. "Natsume, a word?" His dad called him out from the crowd.

"Yes, dad?"

"Two kids, huh?" He smiled.

"I promise, I'll do good. I want to make you proud, dad."

"You don't have to." His dad said silently.

"Huh?"

"Son, all my life, I've always wanted to impress your old man. Even in his grave, I'm trying to one-up him in being your dad… I know, I know, I was hard on you growing up."

"But you were-" He cut off.

"I was. I wanted you to be better than me, so I could stick it to him… that I get to make the better son. I know I put you under a lot of pressure when you were younger. I didn't realize, I was hurting you along the way… Natsume, I may not be the perfect father, heck I might not even be better than your grandpa. But in this matter, I know I'm better than him… because I will tell you what I've always wanted to hear from him… I love you, son. From your first breath to my last. I love you, and I will always love you... no matter what."

"Dad." Natsume felt as if there was a lump in his throat, his insides felt warm.

"I'm sorry for everything you've gone through. You were young, the thing with Aoi was never your fault. After everything, what I really want you to know is that I did get to have the better son, not because of what I did, but because of what you do. I am proud to be your father, Natsume. You're gonna be more than the man that I am. You're gonna be a great dad."

Natsume watched his dad leave and balled his eyes out. All his life, all he wanted was to be loved. He realized that he was... all along, maybe just not by the people he thought of. But he was loved nonetheless. He was an emotional wreck. He was truly happy. He's a dad now. But there was one thing on his mind that keeps bothering him.

Her.

He wouldn't get to see her anymore.

Well, it's for the best, right? At least.

Natsume moved out as soon as Mikan got back from the hospital, much to her dismay. They were still trying to settle how they're gonna go about the custody of the kids, but for now, with all the stress going on with Mikan's business branching out, Natsume gets the weekdays, and Mikan, the weekends.

Today, it was Natsume's turn to take care of the kids. He knocked a few times before picking up the keys she gave him and unlocking the door. Opening the door of the kids' bedroom, he saw the three of them sleeping soundly on the playmate. He silently watched them from the doorpost. This is what he always wanted. His heart betrayed him for a second. He remembered how he dreamt of her and the life they could've had together. Kids ran around, laughing their hearts out as they both grew fat and old. He shook it off. He reminded himself of how she made him feel. How he's grown now that he doesn't seek her out anymore. Well, at least he thinks. He's doing his best. He took one more glance at his kids and his heartbreak grew even more. He's just sorry he couldn't give them the typical family life they deserved, but he promised them that although they might not be together, they're not broken. He loves them deeply and does everything to maintain a good relationship with their mom. Sometimes things just don't work out the way it's supposed to, and that's okay. He sighed and went to the kitchen. Hopefully, she left him something to eat while waiting for everyone to wake up.

On the kitchen counter, she left a note with a bunch of savory pastries for him to eat and take with him, alongside the kids' bags when he goes home with them. His heart betrayed him one last time as he thought of how perfect everything would have been... if only she loved him. He was growing more and more exhausted from his day and failed to realize he too fell asleep on the play mat while waiting.

Natsume woke up with a light touch on his nose. It was his son. He panicked and realized it was already 9 in the evening.

"You're awake." Mikan said as she took one of her pastries out of the oven.

"Yeah. Sorry. I was just going to pick up the kids and leave. I guess I was more tired than I thought."

Mikan took a long look at him, and Natsume grew uncomfortable. "You don't look fine." She said going up to him and touching his forehead. Natsume's instinct kicked in as he distanced himself away from her quickly. She sadly withdrew her hand and looked away. "I think you have a fever coming up. It wouldn't be wise to take the kids with you. You should stay."

"Oh. Uhm. Never mind, I'll just leave. It's late anyway." Mikan grew increasingly worried as Natsume was already trying his hardest to act normal. She pulled his hand and held onto it.

"I insist. Take the other room. I'll make something up. You still have clothes here from when you lived here anyway." Natsume just nodded. He was too tired to argue.

After finishing up in the kitchen and tucking the kids to sleep. She began tending to a very sick Natsume. She gave him medicine and noticed that he couldn't bring himself up enough to drink it himself. She pulled him up and helped him out. She also started unbuttoning his clothes so he can get into his new ones.

"St- stop." He said as he weakly pried her hand off him. "Don't be ridiculous. You're not climbing onto my bed with dirty clothes." He obliged as he continued to wipe him clean. Mikan stopped suddenly and realize how long it has been for her since they slept together, and how much she wanted him to pin her down right now. She gulped and continued what she was doing, all the while mentally reprimanding herself for being such a fucking pervert.

Natsume soon fell back to a deep slumber, occasionally getting woken up by Mikan to drink medicine.

He woke up after a day or two, feeling a bit better than he used to. He noticed a tired Mikan sleeping beside his bed. Her hair was in disarray, and bags were under her eyes. Even with all that, she still looked so beautiful to him that it broke his heart even more. She was so near, but he felt as if he was an eternity away from her. The kids' cries were soon heard from the baby monitor which stirred Mikan's deep sleep. Natsume panicked and feigned sleeping as she hurriedly rushed to the other room. He felt her exhaustion. Maybe he should take the kids home this week, he seems better anyway.

He got up and fixed himself before seeing Mikan and the kids. "I think it would be wise for me to take the kids for the week, you obviously need to rest."

Mikan panicked, she was completely out of it because of the lack of sleep. "No, no need, I'm good."

"Mikan, you're not fine. Look at you. You look so tired."

Mikan looked at her reflection and suddenly burst out crying. "I'm hideous." She was so tired. She felt insecure ever since she had the kids. She was going through a roller coaster of emotions. She felt like she was not good enough for him anymore. "I'm fucking ugly." She kept crying.

"Hey, hey, I didn't mean it like that." Natsume said as he went closer to her. She leaned in for a hug, much to Natsume's surprise. He chuckled. "You need to sleep, thank you for taking care of me."

She looked up at him. "That's nothing… because I love you." Natsume was shocked, to say the least. He avoided her altogether. It was as if she was some sort of plague. "What?"

"I… I started getting into therapy, and it made me realize how much I… I love you. Please get back together with me." She looked him in the eye so intensely that his heart was starting to beat like crazy. He distanced himself from her quickly. "I need to uhm, take the kids now. I'll see you, next week?"

"Is that your answer?" She said as he busied himself taking all the kids' bags and securing them on the stroller.

"Mikan."

"I said I love you, Natsume."

"You just feel guilty. I'm glad you're going to therapy, but my accident wasn't your fault, you don't have to feel guilty."

"That's beside the point. I want to be with you!"

"You don't have to."

"I want to!"

"You're just tired, Mikan. Go to sleep."

Mikan felt her heart breaking again. She's never been rejected this much before, all the more by Natsume. "Is there someone else?" She asked as they were about to leave, his foot out the door.

He looked back at her, evidently annoyed. "I don't mean to be rude, but you don't get to ask me that when you repeatedly made me feel that you never wanted to be with me... We should go now. You must really be tired, get some rest, Mikan."

She cried for hours. It was as if a part of her soul has been ripped apart. She had her heart broken before, but she never expected heartbreak to feel this real.

END OF CHAPTER NINE

NEXT CHAPTER

I Think He Knows

You're seducing me

I don't want to make the same mistake twice

Goodbye forever

AUTHOR'S NOTES

It's a double feature because I didn't get to post for the longest time. Hope you guys like it.