Jennie's POV
I have never been very athletic, but my adrenaline is in full effect and I push my legs to go faster. I reach the end of the street, but begin to tire. Where the hell am I going to go? I don't remember the path that I walked back to my dorm last time, and I stupidly left my phone in my room. To prove a point. About my independence from Lisa. Lisa, who's chasing me and yelling, "Jennie, stop!"
And I do stop. I stop dead in my tracks. Why am I even running from her? She needs to explain why she keeps playing games with me.
"What did Rosé say to you?"
What? When I turn around to face her, she is only a few feet away and has a shocked expression; she didn't actually expect I would stop.
"What, Lisa! What could you possibly want from me?" I scream. My heart is pounding from running, and from her breaking it.
"I . . ." She seems to be at a loss for words for once. "Did Rosé say something to you?"
"No . . . why would she?" I take another step forward so I am face-to- face with her, my anger rolling off me in waves.
"I'm sorry, okay?" she says quietly. She looks into my eyes and reaches her hand out to take mine, but I swat it away. She ignores my question about Rosé but I am too mad to care.
"You're sorry? You're sorry?" I repeat, my voice coming out in a laugh. "Yeah, I am."
"Go to hell, Lisa." I begin to walk away, but she grabs my arm again. My anger boils over and my hand flies up and smacks her, hard. I am as surprised by my own violence as she is, and I almost want to apologize for hitting her, but the pain she has caused me is so much more than a cuff on the cheek.
Her hand moves to her face, slowly rubbing over the red skin of her cheek. She looks at me, anger and confusion stirring behind her eyes.
"What the hell is your problem? You were the one kissing Rosé!" she yells. A car passes and the driver stares but I ignore her. I don't care about causing a scene right now.
"You're not seriously trying to blame me! You lied to me and played me like a fool, Lisa! Just when I thought I could trust you, you humiliate me! If you wanted to be with Nancy, why not just tell me to leave you alone? No, instead, you feed me that bullshit about wanting more and beg me to stay the night with you just so you can use me! What was the point
—what did you get out of it—oh, besides a blow job?" I scream. The word tastes odd coming out of my mouth.
"What? You think that's what I am doing? You think I'm using you?" she shouts.
"No, that's not what I think, Lisa—that's what I know. But guess what? I'm done, I am so beyond done. I will change dorms if I have to so I don't have to see you again!" I say, and mean it. I don't need any of these people making my life worse.
"You're overreacting," she says flatly, and it takes everything in me not to slap her again.
"I'm overreacting? You didn't tell your friends about us—you didn't tell me about this party, and then you left me standing in the parking lot like a dumbass while you left with Nancy, of all people! Then I show up here to find Nancy on your lap, and then you kiss her. Right in front of me, Lisa. I'd say my reaction is quite justified," I say, my voice drawing to a whisper at the end, exhausted. I wipe fresh tears from my face and blink up at the night sky.
"You kissed Rosé right in front of me! And I didn't tell you about the party because I don't have to! You wouldn't have wanted to come anyway— you would have been too busy studying or watching the damn paint dry," she barks.
I look at her blurry form through my watery eyes and ask her simply, "So why even waste your time with me? Why even follow me out here, Lisa?" When she doesn't say anything, I have my answer. "That's what I thought. You thought you could come out here and say sorry and I would accept and stay a secret, your boring little hidden girlfriend. You're wrong; you took my kindness for weakness and you were sadly mistaken."
"Girlfriend? You thought you were my girlfriend?" she howls.
The pain in my chest is magnified by a thousand and I can barely stand. "No . . . I," I start to say. I don't know what to say.
"You did, didn't you?" she says, laughing.
"You know . . . I did," I admit. I am already humiliated, so I have nothing to lose. "You fed me that bullshit about wanting more, and I believed you. I believed all the shit you said to me, all the things you claimed to never tell anyone, but I'm sure that was all bullshit, too. I'm sure none of that even happened." I shrug, giving up completely. "But you know what? I'm not even mad at you; I'm mad at myself for believing it. I knew how you were before I started to fall for you. I knew you would hurt me. What were your words, You'll destroy me? No, ruin, you'll ruin me. Well, congratulations, Lisa, you won," I sob.
Pain flashes in her eyes . . . well, what looks like pain. It is probably humor.
I no longer care about winning or losing or playing these exhausting games. I turn away from her again and begin to walk back toward the house, figuring I'll find someone's phone to use to call Jisoo or somehow get a ride back to the dorms.
"Where are you going?" she asks. It hurts that she doesn't have anything to say, that she has offered me no explanation. She has only confirmed what I already knew, that she is heartless.
I walk faster, ignoring her. She trails behind me, calling my name a couple more times, but I refuse to let myself be charmed by her voice again.
When I get back to the house's front steps, of course I spot Nancy's pink hair outside. "Aww, look, she is waiting for you. You two really are perfect for each other," I call over my shoulder to Lisa.
"It's not like that and you know it," she grumbles.
"I don't know anything, obviously," I snap and climb two steps at a time.
Rosé appears in the doorway, and I rush to her side. "Can I use your phone? Please?" I beg and she nods.
"Are you okay? I tried to go after you, but you were long gone," she says and I nod.
Lisa stands in front of Rosé and me while I call Jisoo and ask her to pick me up. Rosé and Lisa stare at each other for a second when they hear me say Jisoo's name, then Rosé looks away and back down at me. "Is she coming?" she asks, her voice full of concern.
"Yeah, she will be here in a few minutes. Thank you for letting me use your phone," I tell her, ignoring Lisa.
"No problem. Do you want me to wait with you?" she asks.
"No, I will wait with her," Lisa injects, her voice full of venom.
"I would love it if you could wait with me, Rosé," I say and walk back down the steps with her. Lisa, being the asshole that she is, follows us and stands behind us awkwardly. Wendy, Bambam and Nancy trickle down, too.
"Are you okay?" Wendy asks.
"Yeah," I say, nodding. "I'm leaving, though. I shouldn't have even come here."
When Wendy hugs me, Nancy mutters under her breath, "You got that right."
My head snaps around at the sound of her voice. I hate confrontation usually, but I hate Nancy even more. "You're right! I shouldn't be here. I'm not as adept as you at getting drunk and hanging all over every guy in the place."
"Excuse me?" she says. "You heard me."
"What's your problem? Mad that I kissed Lisa? Because, guess what, sweetie, I kiss Lisa all the time," she brags.
I feel the blood draining from my face. I look at Lisa, who doesn't say anything. So she's been messing with Nancy the entire time? This doesn't surprise me as much as it should. I don't even have a comeback for her. I try to think of something to say back, anything really, but I can't. I'm sure as soon as I walk away I will think of ten replies, but right now I have nothing.
"Let's go inside . . ." Bambam suggests and grabs Nancy and Wendy by their arms. I try to give him a thankful smile as they start to go.
"You too, Lisa. Get away from me," I say and stare at the street.
"I haven't kissed her, I mean lately. Except for tonight. I swear," she says. Why is she saying this in front of them?
Nancy turns around.
"I don't really give a shit who you kiss. Now get away from me," I repeat. A huge wave of relief washes over me as I see Jisoo's car pull up.
"Thanks again," I tell Rosé.
"No problem, don't forget what we talked about," she says hopefully, reminding me of our supposed "date."
"Jennie . . ." Lisa calls as I step toward the car. When I ignore her, she calls louder. "Jennie!"
"I have said everything I have to say to you, Lisa. I am done listening to you and your bullshit—now leave me the fuck alone!" I scream, turning around to face her. I am aware everyone's eyes are on us, but I have had enough.
"I . . . Jennie, I . . ."
"You what? You what, Lisa?" I scream even louder.
"I . . . I love you!" she yells.
And all the air disappears from my lungs. And Nancy sounds like she is choking.
And Wendy looks like she has seen a ghost.
And for a few moments everyone just stands there, like something alien has passed by us and left us frozen. When at last I can speak, I say quietly, "You're sick, Lisa, you're really fucking sick."
Despite the fact that I know this is part of her game, it still awakens something inside me to hear those words come off her lips. I grab for the door handle on Jisoo's car but I am yanked away by Lisa.
"It's true, I do. I know you won't believe me, but I do. I love you." Her eyes brim with tears. Her lips press in a hard line and she covers her face with her hands. She takes a step back, then another forward, and when she takes her hands away, her green eyes appear sincere, full of panic.
Lisa . . . she's a better actor than I thought. I can't believe she is doing this in front of everyone.
I shove her backward and open the car door, locking it before Lisa regains her balance. As Jisoo drives off, Lisa bangs her hands against the window, and I put my hands over my face so she doesn't see me cry.