Jennie's POV
An hour later, Lisa asks, "Are you ready to get up?"
"I know I should, I just don't want to," I tell her and rub my cheek against her chest.
"I don't want to rush you, but I really have to piss," she tells me and I laugh, climbing off her and the bed.
"Ow . . ." I say before I can stop myself.
"You okay?" she asks for the thousandth time. Her hand reaches out to help steady me.
"Yeah, just sore." I cringe when I look at my sheets.
She looks over at them. "Yeah, I'll toss them." She pulls the sheets off the small bed.
"Not in here. Wendy will see them."
"Okay? So where?" She bounces up and down on her heels. She must have been holding her bladder for a while.
"I don't know . . . can you put them in a Dumpster or something when you leave?"
"Who said I was leaving? So, what—you sleep with me and then kick me out?" Her eyes dance with amusement. She grabs her jeans and boxers off the floor and puts them on. I grab her shirt and hold it out to her.
I smack her on the butt. "Just go pee, and take the sheets out on your way, just in case." I don't know why I care so much, but the last thing I need is Wendy drilling me for information about losing my virginity.
"Sure. I won't look like a creep or anything, carrying bloody sheets to my car at night."
I scowl at her and she balls the sheets up and walks to the door. "I love you," she says before walking out.
Now that she has left the room I have a little time to collect myself. I wonder if I look as good as I feel, which is warm and oddly at peace. The memory of Lisa hovering over me while she entered me makes my stomach clench. Now I know why people make such a big deal about sex. I really have been missing out, but I know that if my first time wouldn't have been with Lisa, it wouldn't have been so amazing. When I look in the mirror, my mouth falls open at my reflection. My cheeks are glowing, my lips are swollen. I squish my cheeks and move my hands around; somehow I look different. It's the slightest of changes, and I can't quite put my finger on it, but I like it. I take a second to admire the small red marks dotted across my breasts. I don't even remember her making them. My mind takes me back to her making love to me, her mouth hot and wet against my flesh. I am snapped from my thoughts by the door opening, causing me to jump slightly.
"Admiring yourself?" Lisa smirks and locks the door.
"No . . . I . . ." I don't know what to say, since I'm just standing in front of the mirror completely naked, fantasizing about her lips on my skin.
"It's cool, babe, if I had your body I would stare at myself in the mirror, too," she says and I flush.
"I think I'm going to take a shower," I tell her while trying my best to cover myself with my hands. I don't want to wash her scent off my body, but I need to wash everything else off.
"I'll take one, too," she says. I raise an eyebrow at her and she holds up her hands mockingly. "Not together, I know. However . . . if we lived together we could."
Something has changed in her, too, I can see it. It's the way her smile is a little deeper and her eyes brighter. I don't reckon that anyone else would be able to spot it, but I know her better than anyone, despite the many secrets of her that I plan to uncover.
"What?" She cocks her head to the side.
"Nothing, I just love you," I tell her and her cheeks redden slightly and her face splits into a grin, mirroring mine. We both seem to be giddy and high on each other. I love this. When I move to grab my robe, she steps in front of me.
"Have you at least thought about living with me?" she asks.
"You just asked me yesterday. I can only make one life-altering decision at a time." I laugh.
She rubs her temples. "I just want to sign the paperwork soon. I have got to get out of that damned frat house."
"You could just get it on your own?" I suggest again. "I want it to be ours."
"Why?"
"Because I want to spend as much time with you as I can. Why are you so hesitant? Is it the money? I would pay everything, of course."
"No you wouldn't," I scoff. "If I was to agree to this, I would contribute—I'm not looking for a free ride." I can't believe we are actually discussing this.
"Then what is it?"
"I don't know . . . we haven't known each other that long. I had always thought I wouldn't live with anyone else until I was married . . ." I explain. That's not the only reason; my mother is a huge reason, along with the fear of having to rely on someone else. Even Lisa. That's what my mother did. She relied on my father's income until he left, and after that she leaned on the slim possibility of his return. She always expected him to come back for us, but he never did.
"Married? That's an ancient idea you have there, Jennie." She chuckles and sits down in the chair.
"What's wrong with marriage?" I ask. "Not between us. Just in general," I add.
She shrugs. "Nothing wrong with it, it's just not for me."
This has taken too serious a turn. I don't want to discuss marriage with Lisa, but it does bother me that she says marriage isn't for her. I haven't ever thought about actually marrying her, it's way too early for that. Years too early. But I would like the option eventually, and want to be married by the time I'm twenty-five and then have at least two children. I have my whole future planned.
Had, my subconscious reminds me. I had everything planned until I met Lisa and now my future is constantly changing and shifting.
"That bothers you, doesn't it?" she asks, breaking my thoughts.
Lisa and I making love has tied an invisible string between us, uniting our bodies and minds. The changes in my plans are for the better . . . right?
"No." I try to hide the emotion in my voice, but it comes out heavy. "I just have never heard anyone say flat-out they don't want to get married. I thought that's what everyone wants—that's the central point of life, right?"
"Not exactly. I think people just want to be happy. Think of Catherine; look what marriage brought her and Heathcliff."
I love that we speak the same narrative language. There is no one else who would speak in this way to me, the way that I understand the best.
"They didn't marry each other—that was the problem," I say with a laugh. I think back to the time when there had been so many parallels between my relationship with Lisa, and Catherine's with Heathcliff.
"Rochester and Jane?" she suggests. Lisa's mention of Jane Eyre pleasantly surprises me.
"You're joking, right? He was cold and withholding. He also proposed to Jane without telling her that he was already married to that madwoman he had locked in the attic. You aren't making very many valid points here," I say.
"I know. I just love hearing you ramble about literary heroes." She brushes the hair off her forehead, and in a childish moment, I stick my tongue out at her.
"So what you're saying is that you want to marry me? I can promise you that I have no bat-crazy wife hidden in my house." She takes a step toward me. There's no wife, sure, but it's the other things she hides that worries me.
My heart is beating out of my chest as she closes the gap between us. "What? No, of course not. I was just speaking in terms of all marriage. Not us specifically." I am naked and talking to Lisa about marriage. What the hell is happening in my life?
"So you're saying you wouldn't?"
"No, I wouldn't. Well, I don't know—why are we even discussing this?" I hide my face in her chest and feel her shake with amusement.
"I was just wondering. But now that you've presented me with a valid argument, I may have to reconsider my no-marriage stance. You could make an honest man out of me."
She sounds serious, but there is no way she is. Right? Just as I begin to question her sanity, she laughs and kisses my temple.
"Can we talk about something else?" I groan. Losing my virginity and talking about marriage is way too much for my mushy brain.
"Sure. But I am not dropping the apartment thing; you have until tomorrow to give me an answer. I won't wait forever," she says.
"How sweet." I roll my eyes.
"You know me, Ms. Romantic," she says and kisses my forehead. "Now, let's get a shower. You standing here naked makes me want to throw you on the bed and fuck you all over again."
I shake my head and pull out of her embrace before wrapping my robe around my body. "Are you coming or what?" I say and grab my toiletry bag.
"I would love to come, but I guess a shower will have to do for now." She winks and I swat her arm as we walk into the hall.