Jennie's POV
This woman I've lived with values her sense of control so much that there are few times I've managed to surprise her, let alone stun her. But here, I have really, truly stunned my mother. Her posture is erect and her face has fallen.
"What did you just say?" she asks slowly.
"You heard me. This is our apartment—as in, we both live here." I put my hands on my hips for dramatic effect.
"There is no way that you live here. You can't afford a place like this!" she scoffs.
"Would you like to see our lease? Because I have a copy."
"This whole situation is even worse than I thought . . ." she says, then shifts her eyes to stare behind me, as if I'm not even worth looking at while she calculates her formula for my life. "I knew you were being foolish by messing around with that . . . that girl! But you are just plain stupid for moving in with her! You don't even know her! You haven't met her parents—aren't you embarrassed to be seen in public with her?"
My anger boils over. I glance at the wall, trying to gather some composure, but it's too much and before I can stop myself, I am in her face. "How dare you come into my home and insult her! I know her better than anyone, and she knows me better than you ever could! And I have actually met her family, her father at least. You want to know who her father is? He's the goddamn chancellor of WCU!" I scream. "That should satisfy your sad little judgmental streak."
I hate throwing Lisa's father's title around, but this is the type of thing that would jolt her.
Probably because she heard the break in my voice, Lisa comes out of the bedroom with a worried expression. She comes over and stands beside me and tries to pull me back from my mother, just like last time.
"Oh, great! And here's the woman of the hour," my mother mocks, and gestures wildly at her. "Her father is not the chancellor." She half-laughs.
My face is red and soaked with tears, but I couldn't care less. "Yes, he is. Shocked? If you weren't so busy being a judgmental bitch, you could have talked to her and found that out. You know what? You don't even deserve to know her. She has been there for me in ways you never were, and there is nothing—and I mean nothing—you can do to keep me away from her!"
"You do not speak to me that way!" she screams and steps closer. "You think just because you got yourself a fancy little apartment and put some eyeliner on that you are suddenly a woman? Honey, I hate to break it to you, but you look like a whore, living with someone at eighteen!"
Lisa's eyes narrow at her in warning, but she ignores her.
"You better end this before you lose your virtue, Jennie. Just take a look in the mirror, then look at her! You two look ridiculous together; you had Kai, who was great for you, and you threw him out for . . . this!" She gestures to Lisa.
"Kai has nothing to do with this," I say.
Lisa's jaw clenches and I silently beg her not to say anything.
"Kai loves you, and I know you love him. Now stop this rebellious charade and come with me. I will get you back into your dorm, and Kai will certainly forgive you." She reaches a hand out authoritatively, as if I'll take it and stroll out of here with her.
I grab the bottom of my shirt with my fists. "You are so insane. Honestly, Mother, listen to yourself! I don't want to come with you. I live here with Lisa and I love her. Not Kai. I care for Kai, but it was only your influence that made me think I loved him because I felt like I should. I am sorry, but I love Lisa and she loves me."
"Jennie! She doesn't love you—she is only going to stay around until she gets into your pants. Open your eyes, little girl!"
Something about the way she just called me "little girl" sends me over the edge.
"She has already gotten into my pants, and guess what! She's still around!" I shout. Lisa and my mother share the same shocked expression, but my mother's turns to disgust while Lisa's turns to a sympathetic frown.
"I'll tell you one thing, Jennie Kim. When she breaks your heart and you have nowhere to go . . . you better not come to me."
"Oh, trust me, I wouldn't. This is why you'll always be alone. You have no control over me anymore—I am an adult. Just because you couldn't control my father doesn't give you the right to try to control me!" As soon as the words leave my mouth I regret them. I know bringing my father into this is low, too low. Before I can apologize, I feel her hand connect with my cheek. The shock is more painful than the assault.
Lisa steps between us and puts her hand on her shoulder. My face stings and I bite my lip to keep from crying harder.
"If you don't get the fuck out of our apartment, I will call the police," she warns her. The calm tone of her voice sends chills down my spine, and I notice my mother shiver, her tone clearly unnerving her, too.
"You wouldn't."
"You just put your hands on her, right in front of me, and you think I wouldn't call the police on you? If you weren't her mum, I would do much worse than that. Now you have five seconds to get out," she says, and I stare at my mother with wide eyes and bring my hand to my burning skin.
I don't like the way she threatened her, but I want her to leave. After a challenging staring match between the two of them, Lisa growls, "Two seconds."
She huffs and heads toward the door, the loud clamor of her heels echoing off the concrete floor.
"I hope you're happy with your decision, Jennie," she says and slams the door.
Lisa's arms wrap around me in the most comforting and reassuring embrace, and it's exactly what I need right now.
"I'm so sorry, baby," she says into my hair.
"I'm sorry that she said those terrible things about you." My need to defend her is stronger than any concern for myself or my mother.
"Shh. Don't worry about me. People say shit about me all the time," she reminds me.
"That doesn't make it okay."
"Jennie, please don't worry about me right now. What do you need? Can I do anything for you?" she asks.
"Maybe some ice?" I choke.
"Sure, baby." She kisses my forehead and walks over to the fridge.
I knew her coming here wouldn't end well, but I hadn't expected it to be as bad as it was. On one hand I am beyond proud of myself for standing up to her, but at the same time I feel terribly guilty for what I said about my father. I know it wasn't her fault that he left, and it's never been lost on me that she's been terribly lonely for the last eight years. She has never even gone on a date since him; she's dedicated all of her time to me, grooming me into the woman she wanted me to be. She wants me to be just like her, and that just isn't going to work for me. I respect her and how hard she worked, but I need to carve my own path and she has to see that she can't make up for her mistakes through me. I make too many of my own mistakes for that to work, anyway. I wish she could be happy for me and see how much I love Lisa. I know her appearance shocks her, but if she would just take the time to try to get to know her, I'm sure she would love her as much I do.
As long as she could contain her rudeness . . . which isn't likely, but I have noticed the small changes in her. Like the way she holds my hand in public and the way she leans down to kiss me nearly every time I pass her in the hallway of our apartment. Maybe I am the only person she will ever let inside, the only one who she reveals secrets to, and the only one she loves, but that's fine with me. To be honest, the selfish part of me kind of enjoys it.
Lisa pulls the chair out next to me and puts the makeshift ice pack against my cheek. The soft kitchen towel wrapped around it feels great against my sensitive skin.
"I can't believe she smacked me," I say slowly. The towel drops onto the tile floor and she reaches down to pick it up.
"Me either. I thought I was going to lose it," she says and looks into my eyes.
"I thought you were too," I admit and give her a weak smile.
I feel like today has been dragging on for too long; it has been the longest and most draining day of my life. I'm exhausted and I just want to be carried away. Preferably into bed with Lisa, to forget about the downfall of my relationship with my mother.
"I love you too much, or trust me, I would have." She smiles back and kisses both of my closed eyelids.
I choose to believe that she wouldn't actually do anything to her, that she is just speaking metaphorically. Somehow I know that even through all her rage she wouldn't do something terrible, and that makes me love her more. I have come to learn that when it comes to me, Lisa is more bark than bite.
"I really want to go to bed," I tell her and she nods. "Of course."
I pull the blanket back before lying on my side of the bed. "Do you think she will always be this way?" I ask Lisa.
She shrugs, tossing a spare pillow onto the floor. "I would say no, that people change and mature. But I don't want to get your hopes up."
I lie down on my stomach, burying my face in my pillow.
"Hey," Lisa says softly against my neck, trailing a finger down the curve of my back. I roll over, sighing as I take in the concern in her eyes.
"I'm fine," I lie. I need a distraction. I lift my hand to her face, brushing my thumb over the curve of her full lips. I tilt the metal ring to the side and she smiles.
"Having fun staring at me like I'm some science experiment?" she teases.
I nod, wiggling the metal between my fingers and using my other hand to touch the ring in her brow.
"Good to know." She rolls her eyes and takes my thumb between her teeth before I can pull away. I jerk back, hitting my hand against the headboard.
I move to swat at her, the way I often do, and she grabs my sore hand between both of her and brings it to her mouth. I pout playfully until her tongue swirls around the tip of my index finger in the most provocative way. She continues this across each fingertip until I'm a panting, needy mess—How does she do this? Such odd acts of affection from her affect me so intensely.
"Feel good?" she asks, dropping my hand onto my lap. I nod again, at a loss for words. "Want more?" She swipes her tongue across her lips, wetting them. I nod again.
"Words, baby," she insists.
"Yes. More, please." My brain clearly doesn't work. I lean into her, needing her touch, needing her to continue the distraction. She shifts on the bed, tugging at the strings of my pajama pants with one hand and pushing her hair back from her forehead with the other. My panties are pulled down and left at my ankles as my pants hit the floor. She leans in, settling between my spread thighs.
"Did you know that the clitoris on the female body was made strictly for pleasure? It has no purpose beyond that," she informs me, pressing her thumb against the bud. I groan, pushing my head into the pillow. "It's true; I read it somewhere."
"Playboy?" I tease, struggling to form a thought, let alone words.
She seems to find that amusing and she smirks while lowering her head. The moment her tongue finds my sex, I grip at the sheets and she works quickly, combining her fingers with her perfect mouth. I push my hands into her hair, silently thanking whoever it was who discovered this knowledge as Lisa brings me to orgasm, twice.
Lisa holds me tight all night long and whispers how much she loves me. As I start to drift off, I think about the day we just had: my relationship with my mother is damaged, possibly beyond repair, and Lisa shared more information about her childhood with me.
My dreams are clouded by a scared curly haired girl crying out for her mother.
THE NEXT MORNING I am pleased to see that my mother's assault has not left any visible marks. My chest still hurts from the collapse of our already crumbling relationship, but I refuse to dwell on that today.
I take a shower and curl my hair, pinning it up so it isn't in my way as I apply my makeup and pull Lisa's shirt from yesterday over my head. I put little kisses all over Lisa's shoulders and ears to wake her up, and when my stomach grumbles I pad into the kitchen to make us some breakfast. I want to start the day in the best way I can so we can both remain happy and calm before the wedding. By the time I finish my self- imposed kitchen therapy, I am pretty proud of the meal I have prepared. The counter is filled with bacon, eggs, toast, pancakes, and even hash browns. I made way too much food for the two of us, but Lisa usually eats an enormous amount anyway, so there shouldn't be too much left.
I feel strong arms wrap around my waist. "Whoa . . . what is all this?" she asks in a raspy, sleep-filled voice. "This is exactly why I wanted to live together," she says into my neck.
"Why? So I could make you breakfast?" I laugh.
"No . . . well, yes. That and waking up to seeing you half dressed in the kitchen." She nips at my neck. She attempts to lift up the hem of the T-shirt and squeeze the top of my thighs.
I spin and wave a spatula in her face. "Hands to yourself until after breakfast, Manoban."
"Yes, ma'am." She chuckles and grabs a plate, piling it with food.
After breakfast, I force Lisa to take a shower despite her efforts to drag me back to the bed. Her dark confession and the fight with my mother seem to be forgotten in the morning light. My breath is lost in my chest when Lisa walks out of the bedroom in her outfit for the wedding. The black dress pants are snug but hang off her hips in the most delicious way, and her tie is hanging around her neck while her white button-down shirt is undone, revealing her gorgeous, toned torso.
"I . . . uhh . . . I actually have no idea how to tie a tie." She shrugs.
My mouth is dry and I can't stop staring at her, so I choke out, "I can help you." Thankfully, Lisa doesn't ask where I learned to tie a tie, since her mood would turn sour quickly at the mention of Kai. "You look so pretty handsome," I tell her when I finish. She shrugs and puts the black jacket on, completing the look.
Her cheeks flame and I can't help but laugh at the unexpected emotion. I can tell she feels completely out of her element being dressed this way— and it's adorable.
"Why aren't you dressed?" she asks.
"I was waiting until the last minute, since my dress is all white," I tell her and she mocks me playfully.
Finally, after another check of my makeup and grabbing my shoes, I do put the dress on. It's even shorter than I remember, but Lisa seems to approve. Her eyes never leave my chest after catching sight of my strapless bra. She always makes me feel so beautiful and wanted.
"As long as all the men there are my father's age, we shouldn't have a problem." She smirks and zips me up. I roll my eyes and she kisses my bare shoulder before I unclip my hair, letting my long curls fall down my shoulders. The pale fabric of the dress is tight against my body, and I smile at the reflection of Lisa and me in the mirror.
"You are absolutely stunning," she tells me, kissing me again.
We scramble around and make sure we have everything we need for the wedding, including the invitation and a congratulations card I bought. As I put my phone into a small clutch bag, Lisa grabs me by the waist.
"Smile," she says and pulls out her phone. "I thought you didn't take pictures."
"I told you I would take one, so let's take one." Her smile is goofy and youthful and it makes my heart swell.
I smile and lean into Lisa as he snaps our picture. "One more," she instructs and I stick my tongue out at the last moment. She captured it at the right moment, my tongue on her cheek and her eyes wide and full of humor.
"That's my favorite," I tell her. "There are only two."
"Yeah, but still." I kiss her and she snaps another.
"Accident," she lies, and I hear her take another as I give her a look.
NEAR HER FATHER'S HOUSE, Lisa stops to get gas so we don't have to on the way home. As she is filling up, a familiar car pulls into the parking lot, with Jackson in the front seat. Rosé parks her car two pumps over from Lisa's and gets out to go inside.
I gasp when I get a good look at her: her lip is swollen, and both her eyes are black and blue. Her cheek has a deep purple bruise, and when she notices Lisa's car a furious scowl takes over her pretty handsome, damaged face. What the hell? She doesn't say anything at all, or even acknowledge Lisa and me. Within seconds, Lisa climbs back into the car and takes my hand. I look down at our intertwined fingers and gasp, my eyes trailing over her busted knuckles.
"You!" I say and she raises her brow. "You beat her up, didn't you? That's who you fought and that's why she just ignored us!"
"Would you calm down?" Lisa barks and rolls up my window before pulling out of the lot.
"Lisa . . ." I look over to where Rosé has disappeared inside, then back at Lisa.
"Can we please talk about it after the wedding? I'm already on edge. Please?" she begs and I nod.
"Fine. After the wedding," I agree and gently squeeze the hand of her that did so much damage to my friend.