Chapter 6
In the end, it only took another two years and a half.
"My dear Mr. Bennet," said Mrs Bennet to him one day, "have you heard that Netherfield Park is let at last?"
And I know that it's showtime.
To my utter dismay, Kitty and Lydia are out, and have been for a few months. Kitty's coming out was at a normal age – I was out at sixteen, too.
But, just as I had predicted, Lydia was out at the same time.
I mean, sure, they only have a year of age difference, but still, Mr Bennet could have put his foot down. Such a shame he ignored my disappointed stares at dinnertime.
Thankfully, I think everyone is – more or less – ready.
Mrs Bennet, I hardly have any sway over. The real problem here is me; I keep repeating high and low that I do not wish to marry. Somehow, she thinks that's unreasonable. She's still a lovely mother, but she doesn't really listen to me anymore. Instead, I'll get a "Oh, good for you, Mary," now and then. So… I leave dealing with her to Jane and Lizzie. They have their heads screwed on right.
Kitty and Lydia, however, I've pulled under my wing. And rather cleverly, I think; I told them that they can have as much fun as they like, so long as they never compromise their own morals. So what if they flirt a little too much, or with too much enthusiasm? It's not like that's something which will get them in danger. I firmly insisted that I couldn't care less about the family honour, and that if they ever want to tell me something in confidence I will never tell a single other soul, but I will tell them what I think about it and try to help. We've been running through potentially dangerous scenarios, ever since Kitty turned fifteen and I noticed how good looking she had become.
"A man tells you he wants to show you something, but you have to follow him away from the party, what do you do?"
"You think you love a man, and you'd like him to meet the family, but he wants to elope, what do you do?"
"The best place to strike a man when he's threatening you is to knee him in between his legs. As hard as you can! If you do it right, he'll be screaming in pain and fall to the ground."
Those lovely sort of situations. You never know. I think I've given them a healthy dose of wariness concerning men – not that you could tell by the way they go about.
Meh, they can do as they please. Soon enough the novelty will abate, and they'll return to the rational human beings I know and love.
And I've got their back in the meantime.
Right now, we're in the carriage to the assembly. Usually, I'm trying to help manage everyone's temper and excitement, but this time, I leave Jane alone to deal with Mrs Bennet's worries and Lydia's demands. I'm too wrapped up in what will happen.
Mr Bingley will arrive with Mr Darcy and his sisters, he will take an instant liking to Jane, and Darcy will insult Lizzie by refusing to dance with her.
I'm ashamed to say I know the exact turn of the phrase he will use; I used to have a bookmark with it written on.
We arrive relatively early at the assembly, and disperse. Kitty and Lydia, I leave alone – they are relatively safe tonight, and anyway I've tried to prove that I won't be overbearing with them unless they really act out of turn. I wouldn't really have a foot to stand on anyway; I can remember doing some very inappropriate dancing during my student years, when I was older than them. Let them have their fun.
No, tonight I focus on Lizzie.
I distinctly remember her going to Charlotte Lucas when Darcy insulted her – except Miss Lucas married a year ago, to a clergyman a few towns away, and is going to have her first child soon. I know; Lady Lucas tells Mrs Bennet about it daily. I hadn't really thought about it until it happened; I always assumed Charlotte and Lizzie got closer at Lizzie's coming out, but that never really happened.
At first I was really worried when I heard; had I broken the story somehow? How would Darcy get to know Lizzie if he didn't see her at Rosings when she would be visiting Charlotte?
Then, life happened, and I figured they would find a way. Maybe the new Mrs Collins would invite Lizzie anyway? I just ignored the long term implications and tried to keep going.
Anyway, long story short – I want to be there for Lizzie.
We dance the first set – the Netherfield party is late, as I expected.
And when they do arrive, they are almost… secretive about it. I mean, I was paying attention and I almost missed them. I remember in the 2005 movie everyone just stopped and stared… Mrs Bennet doesn't miss them, though, and she quickly marshals us into shape – that is, Jane, Lizzie and I. Kitty and Lydia are dancing.
Sir William does the honours.
"Ah, Mrs Bennet, capital, capital! Mr Bingley has expressed the wish to meet you and your daughters. May I present, Mrs Bennet, Miss Bennet, Miss Elisabeth Bennet, and Miss Mary Bennet."
"Delighted to make your acquaintance, ladies," Mr Bingley says jovially. I like him already – he has a pleasant smile and seems excited to be here. "May I likewise present my sister and her husband, Mr and Mrs Hurst, my other sister, Caroline, my friend Mr Darcy, and my other friend Mr Gregory."
I almost don't catch the last man's name, I was so focused on Darcy. I never could decide if he was in a bad mood or shy during the first assembly, but it's hard to tell. He bows politely like the others when his name is called. And boy, is he good looking. Kinda like Colin Firth in the 1995 miniseries? Those sideburns. He has a kind look about him, around the eyes.
But eventually the information does travel up to my brain, and I notice the last man of the party. Mr Gregory.
A man who by all accounts should not be there.
My brain goes from 'mentally eating popcorn while enjoying the show' to 'defcon 5' mode in a matter of seconds.
What is a complete stranger to Pride and Prejudice doing here?
Normally I think I would be quite pleased to meet such a fellow – he's tall, he has a kind smile, and he has glasses, which always make me melt. And the whole sideburn look really suits him, also. But why is he here with the Netherfield party?
I swear, this was going to be difficult enough with the original Pride and Prejudice plot, but I really can't help Lizzie and Jane marry the loves of their lives if I keep getting these kind of surprises.
He's looking at me, as if he's slightly puzzled, and I realize I have been frowning at him. I give him a brief smile, barely a quirk of my lips, then turn around. I'm going to sit this dance out.
I need to think.
This isn't necessarily a problem, is it? I mean, an additional suitor could maybe spur Darcy or Bingley into action faster, right?
I watch this Mr Gregory. It seems he has invited Lizzie to dance while Jane and Bingley are already there.
Urgh, I don't like this.
I need information. Naturally, I go to Mrs Bennet. She's going on and on about Mr Darcy owning half of Derbyshire, and oh, wouldn't he be perfect for one of her girls, and isn't he the handsomest man in the room – not a lie – but I do manage to find out Mr Gregory is some kind of academic.
Jane and Bingley are on the right track, though, thankfully. They've already danced their first set. He's dancing with one of Mrs Long's nieces – Augusta, I think, though I tend to forget their names.
Okay, time to focus on Lizzie. The moment should be any time now.
She's sitting on one of the available seats, having a drink. Darcy and this Gregory fellow aren't too far.
I grab a drink and move to join her. I don't want to engage her in conversation – she has to hear him insult her, after all – but I do sort of hover within earshot.
Bingley leaves the dance floor, and joins them.
"Darcy, Gregory, why are you not dancing?"
"We were merely getting better acquainted, Bingley," Mr Gregory replied amiably.
"Ah, there'll be time for that tomorrow! Tonight, we meet my new neighbours," Bingley retorted.
"I catch your drift. Show me a young lady willing, and I shall be happy to dance with her. We shall have to resume our conversation at a later time, Darcy; duty awaits!"
Mr Darcy is looking at Mr Gregory as if he has been betrayed, but he nods dispiritedly.
"Very well, since we must," he grumbled.
"Let me introduce you to one of Miss Bennet's sisters," Bingley exclaims, dragging the duo behind him. I totally expect him to go to Lizzie. But he turns to me! "Miss Mary, I believe?" I curtsy.
"My elder sister is sitting behind you, Mr Bingley," I point out. It's a bit awkward, fine. But I can't risk botching this first meeting between Darcy and Lizzie.
"Very well," Mr Gregory chimes in. "Miss Mary, would you do me the honour of dancing with me for the next set? Since I have already danced with Miss Elisabeth," he is all smiles and good humour.
I curtsy and say I am not engaged, and would be glad to dance with him.
Mr Darcy looks at me, then at Lizzie. Clearly, he is gauging which sister he likes better. And he soon decides who he prefers. "Miss Elisabeth, would you do me the honour of dancing the next with me?"
Note to self: no, I cannot have a meltdown in the middle of the Meryton assembly.
Where is the terrible "tolerable"? I am so disappointed. I mean, these two are supposed to not get along at first. Instead she is smiling at him! What is this alternate universe? Where is the Mr Darcy we all know and love?
I guess Mr Gregory managed to peer pressure him into dancing.
Speaking of Mr Gregory, he is escorting me to the dance floor, Lizzie and Mr Darcy are following behind us. I hear her ask, "Where are you from, Mr Darcy?"
Only to be answered with a curt "Derbyshire."
Mr Gregory and I fall in place, and I figure I must act at least slightly sociable. Besides, I'm quite curious about this man who has single handedly broken my favourite story, which I have been looking forward to for over ten years. "When have you arrived in Hertfordshire, Mr Gregory?"
"Oh, I arrived yesterday. I probably won't be able to stay for more than a month, because my mentor, Professor Hutton, is not in good health, and I do not like to stay away from him too long."
"I hope it is not serious."
"All things are, eventually – but I believe, from what he has written to me, that this last episode is not the worst. I believe he wants me to enjoy my friends' society as much as possible before I return to London."
"You were invited by Mr Bingley, is that correct?"
"Yes, exactly! Charles and I met at Cambridge, where I was working as a mathematics aide. He had heard about my work, which is rare enough. A fine fellow. I don't know the rest of the party, though they seem rather agreeable."
Rather agreeable, indeed. Mr Darcy and Lizzie weren't speaking – they were right next to us in the dance. I could tell just by looking at Lizzie's face that she was angry. Ooh, I still have hope for the plot! Mr Darcy was more… cryptic. He looked rather… uncomfortable. Or he could have been forbidding. Classic resting bitch face, in my opinion.
The rest of my dance goes rather well – Mr Gregory is a good conversationalist, and I'm having fun. Lizzie is looking more and more stony as the dance goes on, and when it's time for the final curtsy, she barely bobs one to Mr Darcy before leaving to talk to Jane.
"Thank you for the dance, Mr Gregory," I smile politely at him.
"And thank you, Miss Mary, it was a pleasure getting to know you better," he answers with a smile. Oh, that smile. No, bad Mary! You can't develop a crush so fast on an unknown and potentially dangerous character! Mr Gregory has already messed up Lizzie and Darcy's first meeting.
"Likewise," I blurt, before making my final curtsy and hurring off after Lizzie.
"…Insufferable man!" I hear the tail end of her rant to Jane. "I'm sure he only accepted a dance with me only because Mr Gregory said they would. I gave up after three single word answers. At least Mary's partner Mr Gregory, is more agreeable," she ended, turning to me with a half smile.
"You should know, he danced with you first," I counter, with a smile. Yay! They still hate each other! All is well! And this Mr Gregory probably won't have too much of an impact – he's leaving in a month, after all.
Jane and Lizzie leave me for their next partners. I don't mind not dancing much; I find the quadrille a bit too stately for my taste. Besides, most of the locals have taken my assertions that I don't wish to marry to mean that I do not wish to dance. Maybe it was me telling them during our first dances when I came out that I'm not interested? Not my savviest of moves, I'm afraid. They never really dared come up to me since.
I decide to get a drink, and sit in a corner to watch the assembly. Lizzie seems to be having a good time with Mr Gregory, she is laughing with him, acting as if she hadn't been spitting with rage the minute before. It's hard to make Lizzie stay in a bad mood, which is one of the things I prefer about her.
"Come, Darcy, I must have you dance. I hate to see you standing about by yourself in this stupid manner. You had much better dance."
Oh, no. No, no, no. I know that line. I really want to leave, but I was messing with my shawl and both my hands are busy and I am in serious danger of splling my punch.
"I certainly shall not. You know how I detest it, unless I am particularly acquainted with my partner. At such an assembly as this, it is insupportable. Your sisters are engaged, and there is not another woman in the room whom it would not be a punishment to me to stand up with. I have already done my duty with one of them, besides."
"I would not be so fastidious as you are," cried Bingley, "for a kingdom! Upon my honour, I never met with so many pleasant girls in my life as I have this evening; and there are several of them you see uncommonly pretty."
My shawl has decided that it really wants to burn. I've caught it in one of the nails of the chair.
"You are dancing with the only handsome girl in the room," said Mr. Darcy, looking at Jane.
"Oh! she is the most beautiful creature I ever beheld! But there is one of her sisters sitting down just behind you, who is very pretty, and I dare say very agreeable. Do let me ask my partner to introduce you."
"Which do you mean?" and turning round, he looked for a moment at me, struggling with my punch glass in one hand, and my wayward shawl with another, before saying, "She is tolerable; but not handsome or graceful enough to tempt me; and I am in no humour at present to give consequence to young ladies who are slighted by other men. You had better return to your partner and enjoy her smiles, for you are wasting your time with me."
Bingley leaves, and I glare at Darcy.
He is an utter arse!
I mean, fine, I know I'm not that good looking. Strangely enough, I have kept my looks from the twenty first century, and I don't look bad, but I'm not in Jane levels of beauty. I know that things will get better – at twenty three I looked better than when I was eighteen, so I have something to look forward to, at least.
But that is neither here nor there. What matters is that he clearly knew I could hear, and said that anyway! I mean – hello? Rude!
It's not nearly as fun when you're on the receiving end of that remark. I'm really tempted to rip my shawl from the chair and storm off. Not graceful enough, boo hoo. I know he added that for me, and, like his frank appraisal of Lizzie and I earlier, it stings.
But I'm not Lizzie. I won't tell everyone about this – I'll protect his reputation, since he is my future brother in law.
I can't resist sending him a reproachful glare, though.
What I really want to do is ask him how he would feel if somebody said that to Georgiana. But I'm not supposed to know about her, hence – the glare.
I watch as Lizzie dances with Mr Gregory. She looks really good, laughing and skipping around.
I'm in a mood all night long, and refuse all further dance proposals. I'm thinking about how 19th century men are even worse than 21st century ones. Not graceful enough! It's been a while since I really missed the 21st century, but I would really love to be back right now.
Mr Darcy stays behind me, hidden behind a pillar, all evening long. What a twat.