Cora spent the next few days divided between guilt, anger, and discomfort.
Guilt swarmed around her as she remembered her eagerness to see Mr. Bricker and how much she enjoyed his compliments. Why had she found it necessary to stand so close to him or study his face? To make matters worse, now she felt rather guilty for how much she'd misjudged Mary's situation with Mr. Pamuk.
Her anger swelled on top of her guilt, she almost pricked her finger, unable to concentrate on her needlepoint again. Why hadn't Mary explained the situation back then? How could Robert believe Cora wished Mr. Bricker in her room? Why did he insist on deliberately ignoring her for the past few days? How could either of those men enter either her or Mary's room uninvited? And worst of all, how could Cora be so easily misled?
An image of Bricker, pleading with her to accept his advances in her bedroom appeared in her mind again, and she shuddered. Things will get better for you Mary had promised her the other day, and Cora held onto those wise words, in addition to the rare hug from her eldest daughter.
If only she hadn't misunderstood her experience with Mr. Pamuk so much, Cora thought, beginning the cycle once again.
OOOOOOOOOO
Cora's mind still cycled, unable to concentrate on her latest book, even sitting in her favorite, spot, the chaise lounge in her bedroom. Suddenly, Robert poked his head inside, causing Cora's heart to jump. "I don't want to disturb you," he said.
It was the first time he'd spoken directly to her in almost a week, and Cora couldn't let it go, as distant as he still sounded. "Don't be silly. You couldn't disturb me." She dared to look up at him, desperate for connection.
"I wouldn't have bothered you," Robert said, still standing in the doorway, with that distant tone.
"Stop talking like that and move back in," Cora said, hoping her voice sounded warm. Despite her lingering anger, she loved him and missed him so.
"I only came to tell you that Edith is about to receive some bad news," he said, his tone not quite so distant as he spoke of their daughter.
Cora's heart jumped again, for different reason. "What? How do you know?"
"Her editor's on his way here. I'm afraid it's what we've been waiting for." She could still detect the sadness for Edith behind his stoicism, and it warmed her, but she still wondered he may be assuming the worst too quickly.
"You don't think it's good news?" she said, hoping for Edith's sake.
Robert shook his head. "If it was, he would have telephoned." Then he left, and Cora's room suddenly felt uncomfortable.
OOOOOOOOOO
Cora waited in the library as Edith saw to her visitor, hoping to provide comfort in some way after the terrible news was delivered. "He's gone," Robert said, stepping carefully into the library, but not staying in the entryway, as he'd done with Cora's bedroom earlier.
"Didn't he want some tea?" Cora said. Certainly, they could do more for him and Edith.
"I offered him tea, dinner, and a bed for the night, but he said he had to get back," said Robert with a sigh. "Gregson's dead, I'm afraid."
"How terrible that is to hear," Cora said, her heart breaking for their daughter. "And was it this Herr Hitler?"
"Apparently. Or at least his gang of thugs, during the so-called Bierkeller Putsch in Munich," Robert said. "It took days for the police to get the city back under control, and by then any trace of Gregson was buried. They've found him, now of course, what's left of him." He shook his head.
"It's too horrible to think about," Cora said, meeting her husband's eye from across the room. "At least they've locked Hitler up for five long years."
Robert shook his head again. "Coombs said he won't serve five years, or anything like it." He paused. "There's another thing. Edith's inherits Gregson's publishing company. I think I expected that."
"I hope it helps her get through this," Cora said, clinging to the hope, although it wasn't all that unrealistic. After all, Mary inheriting Mathew's share of the estate had helped her get through her grief.
"It was very generous of him," Robert said with a slow nod.
"I suppose they loved each other," Cora said, needing to say what was obvious now. What had been obvious for some time. Another of one of their daughters had lost someone she'd loved. Cora couldn't imagine living through such a thing. "Oh, poor Edith. How is she taking it?
"Hard to say," Robert said, a bit uncertainly. Unfortunately, they both struggled to understand Edith. "It wasn't a shock, of course."
"But there is always a shred of hope, isn't there?" Cora didn't understand her middle daughter very well, but she knew how she would feel in that situation. "Shall I go and see her?"
Robert sighed. "She wanted to be on her own."
OOOOOOOOOO
And so, Edith was left on her own for the rest of the afternoon, as much as Cora wished she could do more.
Cora had done her best to comfort Mary after Mathew had died, but truly she deferred her oldest daughter to both Robert and Mama after the end of the war, when it became apparent that Cora would never understand Mary. Understanding the truth of what happened between her and Mr. Pamuk only made that clearer.
But certainly, Cora could do more for Edith? What words would comfort her? She sighed, thinking of how much discussing Edith's situation with Robert had comforted her. As much as her heart broke for her daughter, acting like a team they once were as they spoke of Edith's situation had felt wonderful. He'd listened to her hand taken her words seriously for the first time in months. She'd felt loved, and she couldn't imagine him not being in her life.
And yet Edith was forced to live without –
The dinner gone rung, the loud sound echoing all over the house just then, and Cora's heart to jumped in surprise as her interrupted thoughts.
As Baxter entered Cora's room, ready to assist Cora with an evening dress, Cora returned to her previous thoughts. She would find a way to help Edith and repair her relationship with Robert.
OOOOOOOOOO
Cora ate better tonight than the last few nights, now that she had a plan, as much as it hurt to see Edith absent from the dining room, having decided she was too upset to leave her room. She still wished to help Edith but repairing her marriage would be easier, and she would begin with that.
She'd attempted to be patient with Robert for the past week, as Cora understood he was angry had the right to be hurt, but this had gone far enough. Did Robert understand she had the right to be hurt and angry, too?
Cora waited as Baxter removed her evening dress and braided her hair with a firm resolve. She would speak to Robert. Tonight.
"… Milady?" Baxter's voice said, pulling Cora out of her thoughts. "Will that be all?" Cora sat on her vanity, in her nightdress and hair braided. Baxter stood behind her, and Cora hoped she hadn't been waiting for too long.
"Yes, of course, Baxter. You may go," Cora said, her heart beating a bit as she prepared for what would happen as soon as her maid left. Things will get better for you Mary had promised Cora earlier this week. And that started with talking to her husband, even if she had to enter his dressing room.
Baxter curtsied and exited the room.
Cora stared at the dressing room door for a few moments after that, wishing once again that Robert would enter on his own accord. But of course, he did not.
Taking a deep breathe, she opened the door herself and found Robert attempting to settle in the single bed. Guilt swelled within her again as she remembered all the times, she'd given Mr. Bricker too much attention. If she hadn't done that, Robert would be climbing into their bed now. But they needed to speak. Cora needed to speak.
"What have you told Bates?" she said, carefully, deliberately looking right at him as she talked. He'd considered his valet a friend, perhaps Robert had talked to him. And he needed to talk to someone about this, whether he admitted it or not. Cora wasn't certain if it hurt more that he might have spoken about their issues with someone else or not.
It was a moot point, because Robert looked offended at the very idea of speaking about the issue to Bates. "Nothing," he said firmly. At least he was willing to look at Cora as he spoke.
"And he hasn't asked why you are sleeping here?" It wasn't a servant's place to ask such a question, but you never know. O'Brien may have asked when she was serving Cora.
"Certainly not," Robert said, shaking his head, as if the idea were foolish.
Cora flinched at the tone in his voice; he'd been making her feel foolish and unimportant for months already, she'd thought they'd moved past that when they'd spoken of Edith's heartbreak this afternoon, but apparently not. But she had to be strong now. "I wondered if you might like to change your mind and come back," she said, deliberately keeping her voice calm, so not to rise his temper. "You heard Mr. Bricker say he was not here by my invitation." Cora's heartbeat faster, feeling uncomfortable again as she remembered that man's presence in her bedroom, smiling at her and pleading with her for a 'change in their relationship.' Her stomach shifted at the memory. How could Robert possibly believe she wanted him in here?
Things will get better for you, Mary had promised, and Cora needed to believe that would be true, although she wondered when she'd begun taking advice from her own daughters. Perhaps when all three of them grew into wonderful, wise young ladies who weren't as naïve as Cora.
"How do I know that wasn't just his gallantry?" Robert said, turning his head from her.
Hurt and anger swirled inside Cora as she said firmly, "Because I'm telling you." Surely their relationship hadn't deteriorated so far that he no longer trusted her. She swallowed a lump in her throat at the mere thought. "Nothing happened."
"I'll tell you what happened," Robert said, his voice showing that his temper had snapped. "You allowed him into your private life. A man who thought he could step into my place, just like that."
"He thought it, and he was mistaken," Cora said, desperately trying to keep her voice calm, but Robert's snappish voice had become too much, especially as his head was still turned away from her. "Very well. If you can honestly say you have never let a flirtation get out of hand since we married, if you have never given a woman the wrong impression, then by all means, stay away. Otherwise, I expect you back in my room tonight." With that, she disappeared from doorway.
Settling back in her bed, Cora waited, still fuming at Robert's behavior.
But when Robert finally entered her room, his expression broke her heart. Her proud husband looked so defeated, as he stood next to her bed, with his eyes barely able to look at her. Guilt returned on the heals of her anger. Cora had promised herself she'd never use whatever had happened with the maid against him; she'd forgiven him for that a long time ago.
"I'm sorry, Robert," she said, swallowing another lump in her throat. "I shouldn't have said that, especially after my behavior with Mr. Bricker." The other man's smile flashed through her mind again, and Cora wished she hadn't been so eager to see it for the past few months. She'd much rather see her husband's smile right now.
"No," Robert said slowly. "I know, ah…what you said was true." Still no smile.
"Please come to bed," she said patting the other side that had been empty for a week. She'd thought Robert had taken her for granted in the past couple of months, dismissing her ideas and treating her as if she were foolish, but ever since their confrontation with Mr. Bricker, Cora realized she'd taken Robert for granted as well.
He'd slept in her bed almost every night for over thirty years, and she'd desperately missed his presence, especially considering how uncommon their sleeping arrangements were for their peers. And then there were Edith, Mary, and even Tom who would never share another night with their beloved. Wordlessly, Robert finally climbed in next to her, and although he clearly kept his distance, the weight of his presence made Cora feel warmer.
"Thank you for listening to me tonight," she said, her head staring straight at the blue wall instead of into his eyes. "And this afternoon, concerning Edith. It seemed you struggled to do so in the past couple of months."
Robert huffed. "I have not! I cannot tell you how many times I listened to you while you wondered about whatever was bothering you after the dinner gong rang, or how many times you wished to invite that Bricker to our home. And then there were the times I tried to apologize, and you didn't wish to hear it."
Cora sighed, trying to remember the instances he described. Perhaps she'd taken him for granted more than she'd thought. "Then I apologize for that, too," she said. She still stared at the wall. "And maybe listening was the wrong word. Respect maybe more accurate. It seemed every time I've had an idea, you thought it was foolish."
The room was silent for several moments. Then finally, Robert sighed. "I suppose I've proven to be foolish myself, then, again, because Cora, you are one of the smartest people I know."
She finally turned her head, searching for his blue eyes as she heard the words she'd longed to hear. "Thank you," she said softly, although with her misunderstanding about Mary's situation with Mr. Pamuk, Cora wasn't certain that was accurate.
"Although I was acting rather foolish with Mr. Bricker, especially considering it will probably cause gossip." Mary claimed the servants would gossip and rumors would fly about a man in a lady's bedroom, whether he was wanted there or not. Cora wasn't certain she could believe that, but her flirtations would still cause tongues to wag.
It was rather surprising Mama hadn't lectured her yet.
"Honestly, I don't care about that, as long as I still have you," Robert said in one of his firmest voices. Cora stared at him in surprise and almost awe. His silvery hair accented his face and his dark blue eyes shined in a way that made him more handsome than she'd ever seen. Robert lived in a world where the "the look of things" was paramount and was trained from the cradle by his mother to do anything to avoid gossip.
The fact that she was more important than any of that pushed away all the lingering anger and hurt and filled her with far more pleasant feelings. "I love you, Robert," she said, unable to do otherwise.
He didn't kiss her in response, as he usually did. But the smile she'd been waiting for all night spread across Robert's face, and even better he pushed his body closer. His strong arm wrapped around her, causing her heart to swell with even more love.
The distant man from earlier today was gone.
For now, that was enough. She and Robert were reconciled. Hopefully soon, she would find a way to help Edith as well.
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