Summary: Bad dreams reveal a lot.

A/N: Thanks, everyone for your support of this story. I hope you enjoy this chapter. I think it's my favorite so far.

Chapter 6

A week or so later, Hermione found herself in another nightmare. She appeared at Malfoy Manor. A beaten Snape was being led by Malfoy and Draco. Draco's face was ashen, and he looked as if he were about to throw up. The senior Malfoy's face looked smug.

"Sorry about this, old friend," he told Snape, "but you know what happens to traitors."

The three drew up to Voldemort, and he glared at Severus, contempt dripping from every part of the man's face.

Fear filled Hermione. Somehow Voldemort had found out that her professor was a spy. She took a good look at Snape. His face was black and blue, and it looked like his nose had been broken in a couple places. His robes were ripped and tattered on his body, and he was having a hard time standing up, which must have been why the Malfoys were supporting him as they brought him before their Lord.

Hermione came from around the corner where she was hiding and rushed up to Snape.

"Where did this Mudblood come from?" Voldemort demanded.

Draco released Snape and took Hermione by the arms. She struggled to free herself, but she was unable to.

"Professor Snape, what happened?" she asked as she struggled.

"Occlumency… failed… true feelings… Dumbledore." He struggled with every word.

"You have to fight this!" she cried nervously.

He barely shook his head. "I'm dead."

"More of your traitorous ways, Severus?" Voldemort said with a sneer. "I will kill her, but not before using her and turning her into a shell. Know now that all that you did was for naught."

"No… please… "

"Professor," Hermione called.

He didn't look at her.

"Professor Snape!" Hermione said again.

She struggled in Draco's arms, but she couldn't break his grasp. Snape still ignored her as he gazed at the floor. Suddenly, the setting changed, and they were in a dark clearing. A small bonfire separated them from Voldemort.

"Professor Snape!" she tried again.

Nothing.

"Severus!"

"Severus, look at me!"

His eyes snapped up to her. Voldemort began to pontificate as to how intelligent he was, and how Snape had been foolish to think he could trick him.

"Severus, it's just a dream. Just wake up!"

Snape's eyes narrowed at her, and he gave her a curious stare.

"It's just a dream! Severus, he could never penetrate your defenses. You're too good at what you do. This is all a nightmare. Wake up!"

Severus' eyes grew wide just as Voldemort cried "Avada Kedavra!"

The green bolt hit Snape straight in the chest. Everything went black, and Hermione found herself on her camp bed again. She sat up and screamed.

"No! Not him. Please, please, not him!"

Her head fell into her hands, and she sobbed uncontrollably. After a bit, she felt strong arms surrounding her.

"Shhh, it was just a nightmare," Harry said as he comforted her with his hug.

She buried her face in his shoulder. "Not him," she whispered.

"It's okay, Hermione. Ron's okay."

Hermione pulled back from Harry and looked at him with wide eyes.

"Ron?"

"Yes… I figured your nightmare was about him."

Thinking that it would be better to go along with his misunderstanding, she nodded.

"Right."

Harry released her from his hug and took her hand.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked her.

Hermione shook her head. She wiped the tears from her eyes.

"Like you said, Harry, it was just a dream."

"Okay," he said as he eyed her. "But I'm here if you need me."

"This has all been just so crazy, Harry. It feels like we've been camping for years. I just wish this were all over."

Harry nodded. "Me too."

He stood. "Good night, Hermione," he said and left her tent-room.

Hermione sighed. She closed her eyes. Watching the killing curse fell Snape had shattered her. She knew he'd awakened as soon as it hit, but a part of her worried that he'd somehow been killed for real. She had to know.

"Transferi selento."

She was in his head, but he was wide awake. He'd pushed his Occlumency walls up so far that she just hovered around the edge of his subconscious before she was violently thrown back to her bed. She breathed heavily as she sat back up after being thrown down. She sighed. What she'd seen in his head was enough for her. He was all right.

She closed her eyes and sighed again. She was surprised at her reaction. The thought of Professor Snape being killed had crushed her.

He's a friend. I've come to care for him. Of course, I would be upset if he were killed.

oooOOOooo

The next time she entered his dreams they were back in the lab. Hermione was surprised to see just two cauldrons, her gold one, and the one that Snape was tending. Hermione moved to her cauldron, which was placed next to Snape's. She nodded at the man as she passed behind him.

They worked quietly for a little bit until Hermione felt she could begin talking with him.

"Professor, how are things at the school?"

"Miserable."

Hermione looked toward her Potions Master. "How so?"

He scowled into his cauldron. Hermione watched him as he seemed to deflate.

"It's okay," she said after a minute. "If you don't want to talk about it, I understand."

That seemed to be the right thing to say, as Snape let out a breath and began to speak.

"I needed to discuss something with Minerva after classes today. I went to her classroom and waited for the students to clear out."

He swallowed hard before stirring the cauldron rapidly. Once he was done with his task, he kept his eye on the potion but continued.

"I entered the classroom, and I could tell by her expression this wasn't going to be a pleasant conversation."

He closed his eyes. "Before I even said anything, she gave me a caustic look and said, 'What do you want, murderer?'"

Hermione gasped.

"She would never say anything like that in front of anyone else, but when we're alone, evidently she has no qualms about letting loose."

Hermione looked over at him. He was still concentrating on his potion.

"That must have been hurtful."

He sneered. "I'm used to it," he said in a huff.

"That doesn't matter. It still would be difficult to have a friend be so nasty toward you."

"It's nothing I don't deserve," he said as his shoulders sagged.

Hermione stopped stirring and faced him fully.

"Nonsense! They don't know the truth. If they did…"

"If they did, what?" he said as he faced her, anger emanating from him. "They'd fall all over me? 'Oh, Severus, we were wrong. You're actually on our side!' Bollocks!"

"Professor… Severus… They're your friends. They don't want to think you're horrid, they've just been deceived by this plot."

"And they will continue to be deceived and think me horrid."

"Is there no one you can confide in?" Hermione asked plaintively.

"No! Dumbledore said no one could know."

Hermione's lips thinned. She didn't know what Dumbledore had been playing at. There was no reason to keep everything a secret from everyone. At least one person could know. There was no real danger in it. With Snape in control of the school, Voldemort would probably not take it upon himself to interrogate the teachers about anything.

"Well," she said finally. "Maybe Dumbledore was wrong."

Severus' eyes met hers. His gaze was penetrating as he tried to understand why she was saying what she was.

"He said… "

"I know what he said. He's not omniscient, you know! There is more than one way to fight this war."

She took two steps and was right next to him. "You should tell McGonagall."

"I cannot."

"Oh, of course, you can. She'd be the perfect ally."

"I won't risk her life," he said, his voice filled with pain. "No one else should have to suffer."

Hermione watched him for a long time. His face was filled with bitterness.

"You don't think you'll survive this, do you?"

"How could I?"

Hermione opened her mouth to give him a reason but soon closed it.

"It would seem the odds are against you. The Order will be out for blood because you killed Dumbledore. The Death Eaters… well, if they even have an inkling of your loyalties… "

"And some of them have no respect for me as it is," he finished.

"Would Professor McGonagall's life really be that much more 'at stake' if she knew about you?"

Snape gave a crisp nod.

"Is there anyone?"

He shook his head just as crisply.

Hermione sighed. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be. Dumbledore never was. He'd give lip service, but that's all it ever was."

"The more I learn about him, the less I like him."

Snape gave a short laugh. "You really are as smart as everyone says."

Hermione just grinned and shook her head at his flip comment.

"Professor, I want you to know that I know why you did it. You can have some peace knowing that."

"Yes, lovely. A figment of my imagination knows my greatest secret."

She giggled. Taking her hand, she crossed his forehead with it and said "Pacem."

He looked at her curiously.

"Remember, that will help you when you are at your lowest."

"You'd best go," he told her.

"I'll be back."

He rolled his eyes. "You always say that."

"And I always am."

oooOOOooo

This dream was once again different. Snape was young. At least she thought it was Severus. The boy looked like he was in his fourth year. He was sitting against a tree with a red-haired girl, about the same age as he was. They were chatting together, and she was surprised to see Snape throw his head back and laugh. She crept closer so she could hear their conversation.

"You can't possibly think that you can substitute Venomous Tentacula with Flitterbloom! The poison in the tentacula is why it's so important! Flitterbloom has none of that."

"I'm just saying, it would be interesting to experiment with."

Snape looked serious for a minute. "Well, maybe when I'm helping Slughorn you could come down to the Potions lab and work on it. He wouldn't mind."

She nodded. "It's a date!" she said.

Snape's eyes grew wide. "A date?" he said. "You… date… us?"

The girl laughed. "I just meant that we'd meet together."

Snape swallowed hard. He looked down and studied his knees for a bit. His voice was very soft when he spoke again.

"Lily, would you ever… would you want to… er… date me?"

The girl laughed again. "Oh, Severus, we're good friends. Best friends… but you're like my brother."

Snape nodded, saying nothing.

"Let's go to the greenhouse and get some Tentacula and Flitterbloom so we can be ready," Lily said.

"Sure," Snape said, trying to sound excited.

The two were up and heading back toward the school in no time. Hermione was shocked to find out that Severus Snape had been friends with Harry's mum. That Lily girl had to be her. Who else with red hair was named Lily from around that time? She wasn't able to mull it over as the scene quickly changed and a much older Snape was in Dumbledore's office.

"You promised! You said you'd keep her safe!"

Hermione was surprised to see he was sitting in a chair with his head in his hands, obviously crying.

"They put their trust in the wrong person, much like you, Severus," Dumbledore said.

"She's dead. I wish I were dead."

"Well, that would be a waste, wouldn't it?" Dumbledore had asked.

They'd continued to talk until Snape had gotten up suddenly. "No one must know!" he declared.

After Dumbledore answered him, he turned and left the room. Hermione rushed after him.

"Professor?"

He walked quickly through the halls of Hogwarts, his face showing his grief.

"Professor, I'm sorry about the Potters."

He gave a crisp nod.

"I didn't know you knew Harry's mum that well."

"We were friends for years until I said something unforgivable."

He moved forward quickly. Hermione jogged to keep up with him.

"What did you say to her, sir?"

Snape stopped and winced. "It's my fault she's dead. I should have never said what I did."

"Professor, what did you say?"

He looked at Hermione miserably. "I called her a… a… Mudblood."

Hermione gasped as Snape started to walk away. She hurried to catch back up with him.

"What happened?" she asked.

Snape stopped again and gave her an incredulous look.

"What do you think happened? She never spoke to me again."

"What?"

"I didn't think you were hard of hearing, Miss Granger."

"I'm not," she explained, "but how could that be? I've always heard the sweetest things about Harry's mum… how wonderful she was. Why wouldn't she talk to you again?"

"I have to ask again, girl, are you deaf? I called her the worst thing you could call any Muggle-born. Surely, you understand that?"

He turned and stomped off. Hermione huffed and hurried along. She grabbed at her professor's arm.

"Would you stop for a minute!" she said in exasperation.

He stopped, crossed his arms, and looked at her caustically. She swallowed and muttered sorry.

"You were best friends," she said. "Why wouldn't she forgive you? I mean, it's a terrible thing to say, but there must have been a good reason…"

"I appreciate your faith in me, Miss Granger, but there's never a good reason to call anyone that."

"Of course," she said apologetically, "but… " She looked up at him. "What happened?"

"I have no wish to go into detail. Watch for yourself!" Snape said as he brandished his wand and created the scene magically.

Hermione watched as he was strung up by Harry's dad and the other Marauders, had his mouth plugged with soap, and his underwear on display for everyone. Hermione gasped and covered her mouth as she watched the events unfold.

Suddenly, Lily was there, standing up for her friend, but her friend lashed out at her instead of being grateful. She glanced over at Snape and saw him watching as tears streamed down his face. The scene finally ended, and Snape tried to wipe his tears without Hermione noticing. She looked away at the ground.

"I'm sorry that happened to you. Surely, she saw that you were highly upset."

"It doesn't matter. It was unforgivable."

Hermione huffed. "To her, maybe."

"I was her friend, and I did something horrid."

She looked up at him. "She was your friend, yet she almost laughed before she started defending you!"

"I beg your pardon?"

"Play it again. She smirks at Harry's dad before she tells him to let you down."

Snape waved his wand and watched the beginning of the memory again.

"Right there," Hermione said as she pointed at the vision.

Severus froze it. He went right up into memory Lily's face and looked at her.

"Merlin, she was," he said quietly.

Hermione moved up behind him and placed her hand on his arm again. "And even if she hadn't, best friends forgive each other. She should have forgiven you."

"There was more to it than that. She didn't like my friends."

Hermione tilted her head. "I would imagine you didn't like hers either, but you didn't abruptly end your friendship."

Snape looked over at her. "It was different. You don't understand."

She shrugged. "So, help me to."

"I was in Slytherin with Slytherin friends. Surely, you can put two and two together, Granger."

"I can see how that could have been concerning, but couldn't she be an influence for good for you?"

He shrugged. "She didn't want to be associated with me because of the company I kept aside from her."

"That really isn't a true friend, Severus. Maybe she had been at one time, but… It sounds like she was looking for an excuse to end your friendship, and when you called her that name, she took it as her chance to distance herself from you."

"She was my only real friend. Everyone else just wanted me for their own purposes."

"I'm sorry you lost her friendship. That must have been… horrible."

"And then I killed her."

"What do you mean?"

"I was the one who heard the prophecy about them. I told the Dark Lord. I signed their death warrants. I killed her."

Hermione moved closer to her professor. "You may have told Voldemort about the prophecy, but he was the one who killed them."

"It's my fault," he sobbed.

His face was filled with grief again. Hermione's heart went out to him.

"You couldn't have known…"

His eyes snapped to hers. "I should have known. It should have bothered me that someone… whoever it was… would be a target! I had no idea it was a baby! If I had, I wouldn't have said anything, but I was eager to please. I wanted to be rewarded. I wanted to… fit in," he spat finally.

Hermione studied him for a while. She'd never suspected her Potions professor had been so lonely and miserable during his youth. She'd felt lonely herself for years. She suddenly felt an affinity to the dour man.

"I don't know exactly how you felt back then, but I have had a hard time making friends, too."

She scoffed. "I'm pretty sure my constant hand waving is a product of wanting to feel a part of something."

His brow raised at her.

"You can't blame yourself, Severus. Yes, you did what you did, but you didn't tell Voldemort to kill anyone. You didn't put the wand in his hand or make him say the killing curse. He's mad. He did all of that himself."

His face was plaintive. "But I could have prevented it! It's my fault," he said as he leaned toward her.

"I think you've tortured yourself enough for your part in it, Severus. Forgive yourself."

"I can't!" he cried. "She's dead because of me!"

"She's dead because of Voldemort!"

He was gasping as he looked at her.

"Can't you see that? It's his fault!" she reiterated emphatically.

She'd read in her text about something called a truth vision that could help those with severe guilt issues. It could be used with either waking or sleeping patients.

"May I help you to see that, Professor?"

"How?"

"A truth vision. It will help you understand what is real and what is guilt. May I cast the spell on you?"

Snape stared at her. She felt him enter her mind and brought the procedure to the forefront so he could view it. After a while, he withdrew from her and nodded.

She cast the spell. "Vinseo."

Snape's vision clouded as history replayed itself in his mind. Soon, he was gasping and bent low to catch his breath.

"I could never see it before," he whispered.

"Do you see it now?"

"Yes... Thank you."

She gave him a small smile. "It was in you all the time, you just refused to recognize it."

He was quiet.

"Are you upset with me?" Hermione asked, afraid of what he'd say.

"No. I just wish I'd known how to do that before. I have been living with this guilt for years."

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry you lost your friend."

"Me too."

Hermione felt herself recede from the dream. She opened her eyes as she lay on her bed. She was amazed that Snape had known Harry's mum so well. There was so much that no one knew about him. At least no student knew those things. From what she'd learned of him, it sounded like few others knew much about him either; he was such a private man.

Her heart went out to him with all he'd been holding within himself for so long. He was so much more than she'd originally thought, and if she admitted it, he intrigued her.