Chapter 31 – Of unknown words and losing it all
Zuko had spent a month being in Mai's presence. The two of them, as they had agreed to, had come out to the world as a couple and had spent many days together, acting madly in love. Or, well, if one could call it that when dealing with a person that barely showed any emotion and another that was dealing with all his emotions at the same time, making him a ticking time bomb about to explode.
Nevertheless, everyone seemed to believe them.
Even Fire Lord Ozai had congratulated Prince Zuko on his newfound relationship, taking away any doubt left in his mind that his father could possibly be a danger to Milah.
It hadn't been hard to keep up the act. To let the love be seen in his eyes. Not when all he had to do was think back to that time, to think of brown, soft hair and rosy, plump lips or the smell of jasmine, his new favourite tea flavour. To hold Mai's warm hand and imagine it as cold. To unconsciously warm up his skin when getting too caught up in his memory, making Mai scold him for it more often than not.
Lately, he started having dreams of the life he could have had if he had only said yes all the times she had asked him to stay. On the shores of the northern Earth Kingdom, or at the resort they had been staying in, sharing a moment at the little duck pond, or in that bed, in each other's arms, sharing a kiss…
Or when he had pledged his love, his all, during that one week they had had with each other. Only a week and it had wrecked him, body and soul, until he was left an empty shell of his former self, living in a haze of polite nods and acting 'normal'.
That was why, this weekend, they were going to spend a weekend on Ember Island, with they being Azula, Ty Lee, Mai and Zuko. And of course, they had to be chaperoned, so Lo and Li, Azula's Firebending mentors from her youth, came along. Maybe it'd distract him, somehow, to be at a place where he had acquired so many fond memories of his youth. Both his parents had shared happy times here, the very few they'd had, so perhaps he would find some peace here as well.
Besides, Ty Lee had been very convincing. It'll be fun, she'd told him to come along, while braiding her hair with a dreamy look on her face.
Sure, fun, he'd thought when he hadn't yet realised that he would spend the weekend with five women while pretending to be in love with one of them.
Luckily, Mai and he wouldn't share a room yet, seeing it was Fire Nation's custom to remain… pure before the wedding night took place. He didn't know if Mai had given herself to someone already, nor did he care, really. It wasn't like he was planning to marry her anyway.
Not when he was already married.
Zuko sighed with the wind that was blowing through his hair on the royal ship taking them to Ember Island. The previous night it had been a full moon, meaning he had been up for most of it, just staring at the light it emitted, and wondering what Milah was doing at that very moment.
Zuko stood on his balcony, eyes high up in the sky, letting his thought wander to dangerous places where she was present, where they were both happy again. It was his only form of comfort these days. And so he thought, and imagined until his fantasy had become so real that he was sure a soft voice had whispered in his ear.
Go to them, it had said. He had immediately opened his eyes, looking around for anyone on his balcony, but couldn't find anyone that could've whispered the words in his ears.
And when he went to sleep finally at the break of dawn, he swore he could hear it whisper over and over again, until the sun had risen. Go to them, go to them, go to them…
Zuko shook his head to clear the memory. It had been strange enough already. Who was them?
''I'm so excited to spend the weekend on Ember Island. It's going to be great to hang out on the beach and do nothing,'' Ty Lee interrupted his thoughts. She put her hands behind her head, relaxing in the soft morning sun.
''Doing nothing is a waste of time,'' Zuko scolded the girl angrily and stood up from his place next to Mai to walk over to the edge of the vessel and gripped the railing. ''We're being sent away on a forced vacation. I feel like a child.'' His anger was getting the better of him yet again, like many times before. It had been brewing since he had woken up this morning. It probably had something to do with the fact that he had gotten little sleep last night. But he knew that the anger went far beyond that.
''Lighten up. So dad wants to meet with his advisers alone, without anyone else around. Don't take it personally,'' Azula spoke up. He looked up at his sister with a frown.
''Doesn't your family have a house on Ember Island?'' Ty Lee asked the Princess.
A small look of nostalgia went over Azula's face. ''We used to come every summer when we were kids.'' She looked to be having a memory, but Zuko blocked out his own.
''That must have been fun!'' Ty Lee exclaimed with her usual bubbly voice, which pissed him off more often than not.
''That was a long time ago,'' he gloomily replied and stared at the open sea again.
It wasn't long until they had reached the dock of the small accommodation they were to be in. Lo and Li were already waiting for the party at the end, dressed in a horrific summer dress and a straw hat just like his uncle used to have.
His mood was darkened even more by seeing the house they were supposed to be staying in. What was worse was the smell.
''It smells like old lady in here,'' he whispered to Mai who was walking beside him.
She gave him a bored and annoyed side-eye. ''Gee, I wonder why.''
''Who are those two beautiful women?'' Ty Lee asked while pointing at a painting on the wall.
Zuko cringed, knowing what the answer was at once.
''Can't you tell?'' Lo said.
''It's Lo and me,'' Li said at the same time as Lo said, ''It's Li and me.''
And with that the pair of twins imitated the painting, pressing their butts against each other while bending forward. The Prince had to hold back the rush of vomit that came with it.
They showed the house around, made some comments about the sea smoothing the ragged edges or something, and finally suggested going to the beach. Finally, something he could agree on.
Milah woke up from the light chatter of the birds outside of her tent and the smell of freshly baked bread. Two things that immediately put her into a good mood, especially after the previous awful night.
''That smells delicious,'' she greeted Amim by the fire they had made. He gave her a light smile and handed her a plate with whatever they were cooking.
''I know, I made it,'' he told her while taking a bite.
She gave him an impressed look. ''I didn't know you could cook.''
He gave her a side look. ''You never asked.''
''Fair enough,'' she replied and took a sip from the jasmine tea Marok handed to her. ''Thanks.''
The warrior nodded in reply and sat down next to Taruq again in front of their shared tent. Since there were not enough tents for all of them, including the people that had come with them from the Northern Air Temple, some of them had gotten to sleep together. Luckily, because Milah was a girl, she was spared from such a thing and slept on her own.
The three days that followed consisted of making repairs to their broken ship as fast as possible while trying to avoid Haru, knowing that when she would cross paths with that Earthbender again she would surely do something she'd later regret.
On the fourth day, upon waking up, it was raining. Albeit it was a drizzle, it still proved to be inconvenient. However, it didn't stall the repairs, thankfully, and by the end of the day, the ship was restored to its former glory, meaning they were safe to resume their journey again in the morning, taking with them many Earth Kingdom soldiers that could be spared, prepared to aid them in their quest.
It was late in the evening when it began. Most people had already gone to sleep, knowing tomorrow they would have to wake up early to continue their journey. Only a few had remained around the campfire, amongst them being Milah, Amim, Taruq, Marok, Hakoda and Bato. The six of them were discussing possible routes to take when going to their next destination: the swamp to pick up the Waterbenders there.
It came too quick for anyone to react swiftly. One minute, they were laughing over a silly joke her father had made, and the next one of the tents suddenly caught fire by an unknown source, making screams erupt from anyone that was still awake.
''Attack!'' one of the Waterbenders closer to the tent in question screamed and quickly doused the fire with a sweep of nearby water.
All of them sprang into action just before a roar of what seemed to be a whole army surprised everyone. Fire was shot from every direction, making the enemy clear as day: Firebenders had found them and their secret mission and now they had come to kill them all.
''Dad!'' Milah screamed at Hakoda upon seeing him take an ugly hit by one of the Firebenders, making her bend the water from the flacon from her side and waterwhip his chest, creating an ugly gash in his flesh.
''I'm fine! Get out of here before you get hurt!'' he scolded her and roughly pushed her behind him.
''I'm not leaving! I can fight! You know-''
''Milah, stop!'' he shouted at her with heat in his eyes. ''Stop being so selfish and stay out of this. You have another being to take care of now. Trust me when I say that you'll never forgive yourself if something happened to him… or her.'' His eyes softened when seeing the teary look in her eyes.
''It's her! Get her!'' a male voice raised over all others and before she could do something, her father was taken out before her eyes, taking a second ugly hit at his side before she was grabbed by strong arms and hauled away from the scene.
''No!'' she shrieked and tried with all her might to escape the hold.
''Stop struggling, or else-''
''Soldier, no. The Fire Lord wants her alive,'' his commander scolded one of the men holding her. She kicked his shin as best as she could, wanting to escape whatever it was they needed her for. Luckily, his hold loosened, allowing her to twist herself around and tear herself from the other hold. Before any of them could do anything, she had already bended the water from all the grass around herself, feeling its energy upon her with the full moon shining brightly above her.
''Fuck!'' one of them yelled when she hit his eye painfully, satisfaction growing inside of her. She started running as fast as she could when she landed a hit on the last man, going back towards the fight that was still going on at their campsite.
''Amim!'' she screamed at seeing him battling a Firebender fiercely. He looked up after knocking out the soldier in front of him and ran towards her quickly.
''Duck!'' he yelled at her as a warning and not a second too late; she would've been as fried as a roast duck if she hadn't done so. The heat scorched her back, but she gritted her teeth and turned around to face her attacker. It was the same men that had captured her before.
''Be careful! I told you the Fire Lord wants her alive!'' the commander scolded the soldier for the second time.
''She's getting on my nerves! We should just take her, alive or dead. He'll likely kill her himself anyway,'' he answered the man.
''I don't know whom you think I am, but I can assure you I am no one of importance to your Fire Lord,'' she bit out against the three. They gave her a careful once over.
''So you weren't the one my soldiers overheard talking? You are not the one carrying the child of Prince Zuko?'' he asked her with a mean snide.
A look of surprise went over her face, one that made the evil man smile slyly.
''How happy the Prince will be to hear this news. It's a shame you won't be alive to tell him the news yourself,'' he simply stated before starting another attack, which she blocked with a swift wave of her arms enveloped by water.
A loud battle cry sounded behind her and before the three men could react, Marok and Taruq had attacked with their scimitars and boomerangs, barely dodging the fire blasts that were thrown at them.
''Go!'' Marok screamed at the two still standing there while blocking a fire blade, Amim holding a protective hand against her lower back. ''They are here for you! Go now, we'll be right behind!''
''No!'' she yelled back, taking on a fighting stance once more, keeping her eye on the lookout for any more coming soldiers. ''I won't leave you! We can win this.''
''He's right,'' Amim aided Marok. ''They'll fall once they realise you're not here. I promise you, we'll find your father again.''
She started crying, realising that once again, she had to leave her family behind, the family she had just found again. And all because she was in love with some stupid Prince-
''Incoming!'' she yelled once she saw a fire blast heading their way and duck out of the way just in time.
''Milah, go!'' Taruq yelled at her after knocking out the soldier he had been battling. ''I swear, we'll be right behind you!''
She gave the field a quick look, saw her father battling furiously with three Firebenders at once and knew this was the way to save them all.
''Come,'' she whispered and took Amim's hand, leaving behind everything she had just gained and leapt into the unknown.
Zuko walked along the beach with an umbrella in his hand, one Mai had persuaded him to hold for her, seeing he was her 'boyfriend', he was required to do so. He gave the place a grumpy look, finding it different than it was in his memories. But maybe that was because they used to have their own private beach.
He put down their towel a little further away from the prying eyes of Ty Lee, who was already swamped with men trying to get attention from her, and his sister, who eyed every man near Ty Lee with such a death stare that it surprised him not one of them had dropped dead yet.
''Fuck,'' he softly whispered when sitting down next to Mai and pulled out a large shell from under the towel, throwing it away after having been poked by it in his back.
''Sucker,'' Mai cursed him jokingly under her breath, careful not to let the sun touch her white skin.
''Shut up,'' he replied and rubbed his back to ease out the pain.
Together, they sat for a while until he noticed an ice cream stand and moved to get up to get them both. Unfortunately, when he handed it over to her, it fell onto her dress, making her scold him for the umpteenth time today while he tried to hold back his angry retorts. If he were to fight with Mai, then surely their cover would be blown.
Overall, their day was pretty dull, unless one would count the way Azula had practically crippled their opponents during a beach volleyball match, which was supposed to be friendly but turned out in what could be described as a massacre.
They were eating dinner when he thought back to the moment when they were invited by a couple of guys, that had been ogling Ty Lee and Mai, to a party near them. Azula had prevented him from starting a fight when they hadn't recognised them for who they were.
''Why didn't you tell those guys who we were?'' he voiced his thoughts to his sister.
She gave him a side-eye. ''I guess I was intrigued. I'm so used to people worshipping us.''
''They should,'' Ty Lee chimed in, making him roll his eyes at her predictable behaviour. He wouldn't be surprised if Ty Lee actually had a thing for the woman.
''Yes, I know, and I love it. But, for once, I just wanted to see how people would treat us if they didn't know who we were,'' Azula said kind of absentmindedly, which was uncommon for her, seeing she was always paying attention to everything.
Zuko zoned out when Lo and Li were starting to say some nonsense again about Ember Island revealing the true you. Or whatever that meant.
The party itself was quite awful. It was crowded with people that kept staring at his scar and Mai complaining that he had to get food for her which he begrudgingly did after some time. And then, to top it all off, someone bumped into him on his way back to her, making him drop the food all over the floor.
As usual, his anger got the better of him. ''Hey, watch it! That food was for my cranky girlfriend!'' he shouted at the stranger in front of him, smoke practically coming out of his ears.
When he got back to Mai, she was still sitting there with the same bored expression on her face, which pissed him off more than usual.
''Can you at least pretend that you like being here?'' he hissed at her through his teeth, giving everyone a killer look that stared at him for a second too long.
''Oh yeah, like you have? Sure,'' she answered dryly and rolled her eyes.
''At least I haven't been the one complaining to you about every. Single. Thing,'' he whispered harshly and got up, ready to leave this hell hole.
''I wouldn't be complaining if you could just pretend to even like me, Zuko,'' she whispered back after grabbing his arm to stop him from walking further. Thankfully, no one noticed their little row. ''You're just angry all the time and people notice that. Azula has noticed it, too.''
Colour left his face. ''What do you mean?''
''I mean that she asked me if we were even in love, or if you were still in love with Milah,'' she told him.
Hearing her name out loud for the first time in a month felt like a shot to the heart, but he swallowed the hurt away, knowing he had other things to focus on right now.
''I don't think our ruse is necessary anymore, even,'' she continued, still whispering.
''When did she ask?'' he asked her instead of replying to her previous statement.
Mai sighed annoyed. ''I don't know. A couple of days ago, I guess.''
''Fuck,'' he whispered under his breath and went through his hair with his hand. ''We should be more convincing, then. Maybe we should-''
''Zuko, no. It's over, I'm telling you,'' she hissed at him.
''What? No, Mai. We can do this. Come on-''
''No! Zuko, it's over. We're done,'' she harshly told him in a loud voice, attracting the attention of almost everyone, including Azula and Ty Lee.
''Mai, no! We can work this out,'' he tried persuading her, afraid of losing the one person he could talk to freely, honestly.
Sometimes, he even considered them to be friends.
He grabbed her arm to stop her from walking away from him, but she ripped herself loose from him.
''Zuko, let me go,'' she commanded him sternly. He grew frustrated, refusing to accept the fact that Mai was 'breaking up' with him over literally nothing.
''Dude, let her go,'' one of the guys that had invited them said to him and grabbed Zuko's arm, which was probably one of the dumbest things he could've done. Zuko grabbed the guy's arm, twisted it painfully and pushed him into the wall a second later, breaking the vase that was standing there.
''Who broke my nana's vase?'' the other guy that invited them asked panicked when he saw the object in a thousand pieces on his floor. Everyone pointed at the Prince. ''That's it! You're out of here!''
Zuko grit his teeth, the anger in his heart fuelled. ''I was just leaving.''
Both of the guys called him out when he walked through the door, but he ignored them.
On his way back to the house of Lo and Li, he walked past his family's vacation house.
He hesitated about going inside. On one hand, he wanted to see what had become of it, to relive the memories that undoubtedly still roamed the empty, dark halls, to imagine his mother on her favourite chair, reading a book she had read a thousand times before.
But on the other hand, he was afraid of what he might find. Or didn't, for that matter. To go inside and to find that those memories had maybe faded into the depths of his mind, in a place where he could not visit them while being swallowed whole in anger and guilt.
He decided to go inside eventually, walking past his childhood bedroom, his sister's, his uncle's and cousin's and eventually, his parent's. Everything was just how he remembered it, how he had envisioned it to be.
When he walked up the second flight of stairs, he was met by a sight that stopped him in his tracks. It was his family's portrait hanging on the wall, his mother's face staring right into his core, as if she saw all that he had done, that he had become.
He walked up to the cabinet that was sitting against the wall, wondering if the little stone he had imprinted his hand in was still there. And when he found it, he enclosed the rock in his hand, as if he could disappear into the past, back to the time when it had all been simple and he was ignorant. Back to the time when he hadn't caused pain to everyone around him.
His chest contracted and he took in a raspy breath. When he looked up again, to his mother's face, it was as if she was speaking to him.
Go to them, it said. They need you.
If only he knew how much.
A/N: so, it's not the day after, but the day after that I'm giving you an update! This chapter was difficult to write and I hope it's not too boring. Next one will hopefully be better. I can't freaking wait for the moment when they reunite again. By the way, the timeline has caught up again! Quite a big time jump in the beginning (a month) but I think it was kind of necessary. So Milah and Zuko are once again living in the present. Anyway, let me know what you think! Lots of love, Lily.