A/N: This chapter contains some very mild adult content in the beginning. Forewarned is forearmed, right?

Chapter Twenty

It's not a nightmare that jars me from sleep.

Instead of the usual terror and despair, I come around slowly to an altogether unfamiliar feeling, one that has been absent from my life for so long it takes me a few minutes to put an actual name to it. I lie there and puzzle over it before the answer finally comes to me. Contentment. That's what I feel. Abundant, endless, blessed contentment, the immeasurable conviction that I have everything I could possibly want. And the reason for that feeling is currently nestled in my arms and sleeping soundly. Padme'.

The night before when I asked her if I could take her somewhere that we could be alone together, I had genuinely intended for us to talk because there was so much more that had been left unsaid. I wasn't planning that we would end up in bed together. In fact, I had never once entertained the notion at all. But after we'd found ourselves back at the moisture farm, conversation between us became invariably sidetracked once we were in each other's arms again. We had ended up doing a great deal more kissing than talking. And kissing, inevitably, led to other things.

This all feels very surreal. In my previous lifetime, we had waited until our wedding night. Given all that we had been contending with at the time and the secrecy surrounding our relationship, waiting to be intimate had felt natural and appropriate. Additionally, I had been young and inexperienced and struggling with body image issues following the loss of my right arm. My typical brashness had been tempered as I tried to adjust to my new prosthetic limb.

But I wasn't contending with those same issues now in this life. I wasn't hampered by the same insecurity and fear when it came to kissing her or touching her or making my desires plainly known. While declaring my love for her verbally had been a conquerable task, expressing that same love physical had made my palms sweat. I suppose I'd experienced the same amount of nervousness last night, but for vastly different reasons.

Albeit woefully out of practice, I was comfortable with that aspect of our relationship, had contemplated it more than once when I had allowed myself to look back on my past actions and feel regret for the choices I'd made. I knew Padme's body as well as I knew my own. I was familiar with all the ways to please her already, and I had used that knowledge to my advantage. And though I had not intended to seduce her when I brought her back home with me, that had been the conclusion.

I wait for the usual guilt and shame to follow that realization that I've catered to my own selfish longing yet again. But, when it doesn't, I'm somewhat dumbfounded. Truthfully, I regret nothing. That sweet, hazy glow of pure contentment and peace remains. Perhaps because I have no doubts that I am exactly where I belong. It all feels so wonderfully right.

Smiling with the thought, I bury my face into her fragrant tangle of curls and savor the feeling. I pull her more securely against me, overcome by the sheer bliss at being skin to skin with her like this again. I'm suddenly flooded with the visceral need to touch her everywhere. And so, I do. I lightly sweep my hand along the soft swells and rounded curves of her body, reacquainting myself with every perfect line of her as another forgotten sensation begins to reassert itself as well. Desire.

Even after spending most of the previous night satisfying that hunger, I can't help but marvel over my body's neediness. After Mustafar, I had rightly believed that part of me was dead forever. Not only had I lost the ability to function sexually following that cataclysmic, life-altering event, I had mostly lost the desire as well. As far as I was concerned, my appetite for sexual intimacy had been burned away with my flesh. An insatiable craving for unlimited power had taken its place instead. And for years, that had sustained me. That had been enough.

But in this time, in this whole, youthful body filled with so much boundless energy, I recognize that part of me is most certainly not dead. On the contrary, I am more than capable, willing, and extremely eager. As if to remind me of that fact, my erection thumps rhythmically between us and I instinctively roll my hips against her to quell the ache that accompanies it. The motion only serves to heighten my arousal and I'm unsuccessful at stifling my resulting moan.

I press closer to her, my body driven by pure instinct and need. I'm a little mystified by how little self-control I have. I may not be a teenage boy any longer, but I feel like one. Then again, I must remind myself, it has been ten years…

Guided by those instinctive drives of my body and her unconscious response, I rock against her in earnest now, my need growing more insistent. She shifts back against me, moaning out my name drowsily. Still suspended somewhere between sleep and wakefulness, she responds to my touch eagerly, arching her hips in time with my own.

"You're not too sore, are you?" I whisper in a tacit request for permission even as I'm already seeking to join myself with her once more. She moans again and sleepily shifts onto her stomach, angling her hips to grant me entrance. Then it is my turn to groan her name as I slide into her, and we become one.

How could I have ever forgotten how good this feels, how warm and wet and unbelievably well she fits me? How could I have ever believed that anything, even unlimited power, could compare to this? I want it to last forever, to never leave this place of perfection and pleasure and primal lust where nothing exists except the soft, slick depths of her body. But it's over much too soon, lost in a flurry of quick, snapping thrusts, grasping caresses, and broken cries of release.

When I find my voice again, I mumble apologies into her hair because it ended so soon, was hardly the slow, sensuous exploration I intended for it to be. But Padme' only smiles drowsily into my arm, her breath stirring against my skin when she mumbles "go back to sleep, Ani." And then she snuggles closer, her ragged breathing becoming deeper as she settles back into sleep. After brushing an affectionate kiss across her cheek, I snuggle against her to do the same. Only an instant later, however, I'm abruptly jostled back into wakefulness when she suddenly bolts upright with a startled yelp.

"What? What is it?" I demand anxiously when her violent motion knocks me backwards. I squint at her. "What's wrong?"

"What time is it?" she cries, glancing about my room wildly, "Don't tell me that I spent all night here!"

Relieved that she isn't injured or distressed in some way, I relax and bury my face back into my pillow. My words are muffled when I reply with a tired yawn, "Think you did. Not sure what time it is though." Without lifting my head, I reach for her, with the intention of tugging her back against me for more snuggling, but she swiftly scrambles from the bed before I can.

By the time I flop onto my back to see what's happening, she is already scuttling about my room, madly gathering up articles of discarded clothing and scattered hairpins from the floor. I regard her harried actions with a befuddled frown. "What are you doing?"

"What does it look like I'm doing?" she replies tightly in between wriggling back into her undergarments, "I'm getting dressed!"

I can't help but smile over the way her curls flop about in furious disarray as she does. Even when she's flustered and clearly annoyed with me, I still think she's the most beautiful creature in the galaxy. She also, undoubtedly, makes me happier than I've ever been in my life.

"I can see that you're getting dressed," I acknowledge in a sleep roughened tone, "Why are you getting dressed, especially when I'm not?"

She yanks her dress down over her head, fumbles with fastening it, and then glares at me as if that was the most ridiculous question that she's ever been asked. "Anakin, I spent the entire night here!"

Far from bothered, I lean back in bed and stack my hands behind my head with a careless shrug. "And? There's nothing you can do about that now."

"Why didn't you wake me?" she hisses unfairly, "This is completely irresponsible!"

"Technically, I did wake you. You told me to go back to sleep!"

Padme' pins me with a narrowed glare, her arms folded petulantly and her jaw tight. "You're being entirely too smug about this whole business, and I am not amused. Don't you realize what a disaster this is?"

"I don't think it's a disaster and I'm not being smug. Actually…I'm happy."

It's fairly obvious that the words disarm her, but she doesn't want to show it. She bites her lip in a futile attempt to hold back her answering smile and doesn't quite succeed. I grin back at her knowingly. "So, what am I supposed to do now?" she asks.

"Well, first you should comm Dorme' and let her know you're alive before she launches a full planetary search," I advise her, ticking off the list on my fingers as I do, "Second, you should tell her that you won't be available for the remainder of the day and possibly not tomorrow either."

"I won't? And why is that?"

"Because…" I tell her with a widening smile, "you're going to take off those clothes and spend the rest of the day in bed with me."

Padme' appears intrigued by the suggestion, but she also hesitates to come bounding back into bed with me. I already know the reason for her indecision. I watch the internal struggle over whether to stay or go play out across her beautiful face and it grieves me to see her so torn. This isn't an easy decision that she is facing and, for once, my pride doesn't rebel because she doesn't readily choose me.

As incredible as it has been to be here with her like this, I know that her visit wasn't meant to be a social call. The need to establish a real, working government on Tatooine should understandably take precedence. Not to mention that there was still a war and Sidious to deal with. Tatooine becoming part of the Republic is just another piece in achieving that end. There are more pressing matters to consider than our budding romantic relationship.

Then again, weren't there always more pressing matters? Hadn't that been our mantra throughout the entirety of our altogether brief marriage? Duty first. Always, duty first.

But then I consider what "duty first" has gotten us thus far. I think of all the time we've sacrificed together, all the moments we had stolen from us for the sake of "duty first", both in the past and now, and it feels like enough. I simply can't stomach the idea of sacrificing another second more. Not now, when I've already spent ten miserable years without her. In my opinion, that is more than enough.

"The galaxy isn't going to fall apart if we take one day for ourselves, Padme'," I coax her gently. Cajoling further, I lift the corner of my blanket and pat the empty spot next to me with an appealing smile. "Get back over here, Senator. It's warm and I have treats. You know you want to."

Padme' giggles despite her determination to remain staid and severe. "With an invitation that charming, how can I possibly refuse? You do have treats after all."

A short time later, after the most awkward comm exchange ever known, she and I are huddled together beneath the rumpled blankets, sweaty, breathless, and sated for the time being. Despite the urgency of the circumstances that we find ourselves in, I cannot stop smiling. The muscles in my cheeks are literally beginning to ache but the grin will not fade. It is difficult to compartmentalize the amount of genuine happiness I feel right now, happiness that is untainted, for once in my life, by looming dread. I'm not sure how to process it at all. And while I don't expect the feeling to last, because good things like this never do, I'm determined to savor it for as long as I can.

Unfortunately, it is not long before reality begins to intrude on the private world that we've created for ourselves. Far below my room, I can detect the faint sounds of the house beginning to whir to life. My mother and Cliegg are obviously up and beginning to prep for their day. Padme' stiffens slightly as she too becomes aware of the muffled motions going on downstairs and gauges correctly what the sounds signify. A moment later, she buries her face against my chest with a mortified groan.

"They probably know that we're up here, don't they?"

"Likely."

"And they probably know what we've been doing too?"

"Very likely. You're not exactly quiet," I tease her.

Far from amused, she growls in aggravation and tweaks my side until I squeak in protest. I roll away from her questing hands and drag her with me, lightly pinning her arms to her side to prevent further attacks, but she surrenders pretty easily after that. She slumps against me and buries her face against my throat. I can't help but smile a little over her uncharacteristic histrionics. It feels nice to be the more level-headed one in our relationship for once.

"Your mother must think I'm the most brazen woman alive."

I laugh at her muffled lamentation and immediately begin nibbling kisses along her the delicate skin of her ear. "My mother loves you, Padme'. You have nothing to worry about."

But Padme' is in no mood for my seduction attempt and quickly she rolls away from me. "How can you be so casual about this?" she demands grumpily, "Do you make a habit of bringing girls home with you? Is that it?"

I shift onto my side to regard her solemnly. "You would be the first and only. In every sense imaginable."

"Then how can you be so…so unaffected right now? Don't you care what they think?"

"Of course, I do but, they already know I'm in love with you, Padme'," I whisper, reaching up to stroke her bare shoulder with the tips of my fingers, "What we've done is just an expression of that love. Nothing more. Nothing less."

"Not everyone else will see it that way."

"I'm not concerned with everyone else. How do you see it? Do you regret being here with me like this?"

She answers my question with a tender kiss, finally surrendering to my efforts to pull her back against me. "No. Not at all."

We spend a long time in bed together dozing periodically in between passionate stretches of lovemaking, and it's easy to lose track of the day. This is an entirely new experience for me. There's no need to rush through our time together, no need to sneak away under the cover of darkness or to even leave our bed at all. I don't have to concern myself with monitoring my every word and look and touch or justify my reasons for wanting to spend time with her. I can stay here with her for as long as I want, and I don't have to be secretive about it either. I delight in the newfound freedom.

And so, I lose myself in worshiping her completely, without any real awareness as to what is happening beyond the walls of my room. I only know that the bright sunlight that had been streaming down through the domed skylight over my bed has now faded into dusky shadows. Only vaguely do I register that the brilliance of Tatooine's twin suns have now been obscured behind great clouds of dust that steadily beat and scrape against the sides of the house, but I don't really process what it means. I'm too engrossed with kissing every accessible inch of Padme's skin and joining my body with hers again and again. I'm sure that I could have stayed there with her well into the night if the heavy metal hatch leading up into my room didn't flip open without warning.

When it does, Padme' and I spring apart with startled yelps and explosive Huttese curses and scramble to cover up as the top of my mother's head slowly pops into view. "Mom! What are you doing?" To her credit, her hand is dutifully clamped over her eyes to grant us continued privacy and, simultaneously, maintain her own dignity. And while I appreciate her efforts to be respectful given her abrupt intrusion, her presence remains unwelcome. "Can I help you with something?" I grate from between clenched teeth.

"There's a sandstorm brewing, Ani. I wasn't sure if you were paying attention or if you had made Padme' aware. It's getting bad out there and…she may be stuck here for a few hours."

She looks ridiculous right now, her tone and expression filled with motherly disapproval even while she has half of her face covered in dismay. But I can hardly make an indignant "I am a grown man" speech, not when I'm currently cowering beneath a thin blanket like a child, completely naked. It's even more difficult to mask my unending mortification behind a façade of nonchalance when Padme' is currently giggling like a schoolgirl against my back.

"Thank you, Mom. Was there anything else?"

"Also, you've been up here for most of the day," she continues tartly, "We're already well past the second meal! Padme' is a guest in our home, Anakin! The least you can do is feed the poor girl!"

When she's gone, after slamming the hatch shut behind her for emphasis, my embarrassment gradually gives way to snickering laughter. I appraise Padme' with a chagrined, sideways smile. "Sorry about that…"

"I think it's quite amusing actually," she chuckles, "The self-appointed leader of Tatooine and fearsome former Jedi, taken to task by his mother like a little boy. It's rather adorable."

"I'd be careful with that mocking tone if I were you," I warn her with a good-natured smile, "I'm not a man who tolerates insolence. You'll force me to retaliate against you in unspeakable ways."

"Oh really? Unspeakable ways like what? You'll kiss me to death? I'm shaking."

"I don't think you deserve my kisses. And you, Senator, should be aware that I know all your secret tickle spots."

She backs away from me with a laughing squeal. "You wouldn't dare!" But before I can pounce and prove to her just how much I would dare, her stomach gurgles loudly which prompts yet another round of spurting laughter between us. "Your mom was right about that," Padme' confesses sheepishly, "You're a terrible host. I am very hungry. You should feed me now."

After we clean ourselves up and finally make our way downstairs to forage for what's left of the noon meal, I'm surprised to find Owen and Beru there as well, chatting with Mom and Cliegg in the sitting room. Padme' and I exchange awkward greetings with them after we find our own seats. She and I nibble quietly and exchange secret smiles with each other while they continue their conversation about the storm raging outside and how it's the worst that Tatooine has seen in years.

"What are you doing here?" I ask Owen once there's a lull in their discussion, "I thought you and Beru would be off world by now."

"We decided to stop for a few last-minute items and got stuck when the storm hit," Owen explains. He studies both Padme' and I with a knowing look then, no doubt taking note of our disheveled appearances and correlating that with the time we've been cloistered away in my bedroom. "Well…I guess we all know where you disappeared to last night."

"Owen, none of that talk," Mom chides him when Padme' blushes several shades of red and has difficulty looking anyone in the eye. She reaches over to give Padme's hand an affectionate pat. "There's no need to be embarrassed, my dear. I believe I speak for our entire family when I say I'm glad that you and Ani have finally decided to see more of each other, Padme'."

"I'll say they did," Owen wisecracks, "All I told him to do was ask her to dance!"

Padme' hides her face in my shoulder with a dismayed squeak while Mom and Cliegg shoot Owen death glares. I give him a look that promises retribution as well, one that I've given to other men countless times in the past, but I suspect it must not be as fearsome without Vader's mask because he only smirks in return. Only Beru gets a satisfying response. She swats him hard across the shoulder.

"Ow! Violence is unnecessary, wife!"

"Then you should quit being a nuisance, husband!" Beru hisses, "You're making Padme' uncomfortable! That's no way to treat a guest!"

"He's making me uncomfortable too," I add petulantly, "Not that anyone cares."

Beru gives a remorseless shake of her head. "You're not a guest, Ani. Of course, no one cares."

That comment seems to be just what is needed to dispel any lingering awkwardness. We spend the next hour chatting together about the wedding and making general small talk in between good-natured teasing and tasteless jokes. With the sandstorm raging outside, there's little else we can do except spend time together. We play several hands of sabaac, though Mom insists on the less high stakes version of the game. I suspect, however, had we decided to play a more serious hand she would have trounced us all soundly.

These moments with them are so mundane yet so unlike anything I've experienced in the last decade of my life, that is almost feels like watching myself in a dream. I can't believe I'm living this. It's a welcome change of pace from obsessing about the war and constantly strategizing ways to thwart the rise of an evil empire. I'm grateful for the respite. I would have been content to remain there with them until the late evening if my mother weren't such a perceptive woman.

Upon noting the frequent yawning that Padme' and I have been doing for the past hour, she promptly orders us back to bed. Since we are both exhausted and there's no evidence that the storm will lighten any time soon, we both gratefully heed her suggestion but not without some brotherly ribbing from Owen to "actually sleep this time" before we do. I make a mental note to exact my revenge on him later.

As soon as I crawl back into my bed, I'm surprised by how quickly fatigue overtakes me. It's especially strange given my propensity for insomnia and difficulty with falling asleep. But I'm so bone tired that there isn't a single part of me that isn't crying out for sleep right now. I can already feel myself beginning to drift away the instant my head touches the pillow. Padme', on the other hand, remains curiously awake.

She shifts onto her side to face me in the low artificial light illuminating from my bedside table. "Do you think we should talk now?"

"Talk about what?"

"About us."

"What about us?"

"Specifically…what are we now exactly?" she frets nervously, "Your mother thinks that we're together, but what does that mean, Anakin? I've…I've never done anything like this before."

"Like what?"

She scoots closer to me, her tone lowering to a conspiratorial whisper. "You know…I've never taken a lover before. Is this a casual thing? Are we dating? What exactly do you want us to b—?"

I cut off the remainder of her question with an ardent kiss. When I pull back, she is staring at me with wide eyes full of question. "This isn't casual for me. When this war is over, I have every intention of marrying you, Padme'," I declare fervently, "That's what I want. I want you to be my wife."

She smiles at me gently. "I want that too." Much too soon, however, her relieved expression is replaced with another pensive frown. "But…how exactly are we supposed to make this work between us?"

"I thought we already were making it work. This feels very workable to me." I smile when she presses a quick, affectionate kiss to the tip of my nose. "What's really troubling you, Padme'?"

"I just wonder…" she sighs despondently, "What happens when I leave? You live here. I live on Coruscant. We're literal planetary systems apart!"

"Space travel is possible, my love," I yawn, eyes drifting shut.

"That's only part of it. There's all this complication with the war and the chancellor…"

"That will be over soon, Padme'."

"Not to mention the fact that I'm a senator and you're a…you're a…"

I crack open one eye as she struggles to find an appropriate descriptor. "I'm a what?"

"A fallen Jedi turned dictator-assassin," she concludes reluctantly, "Don't get me wrong, you're a very handsome and passionate dictator-assassin and I truly, deeply love you but…the fact that we're together will certainly cause some to question my judgment."

"Even if I'm a former dictator-assassin?" I tease her, straight-faced, "Besides, I already told you that I'm willing to give your democracy a try."

"But you don't believe in it," she surmises a little sadly, "That's pretty clear."

"And you know why. The Senate is full of dishonest, selfish politicians who are only out for their own personal gain. They use their positions to swindle their own people. They're all frauds and liars and I don't trust them to act in the best interest of the galaxy."

"It saddens me that this is your perception of democracy. Not all politicians are like that, Anakin."

"Maybe not. But people like you are few and far between, Padme'."

"So, what's the alternative then?"

"I don't know that either," I sigh, "I once believed that if the entire galaxy could come together under a supreme ruler, someone who genuinely had their best interests at heart, then we could achieve true peace. But now I understand that if that ruler is corrupt, even a little bit, then the people will suffer for it. So, that's obviously not the answer either."

"You're talking about Palpatine right now, aren't you?"

I shake my head. "No. I'm talking about you and me."

"You and me? What do you mean?"

"When I pledged myself to Sidious in that other life, I never had any intention of letting him to live," I tell her, "He had manipulated me. Lied to me. And he had made countless attempts on your life. I knew from the beginning that I was going to overthrow him."

"You wanted us to rule together, didn't you?"

"Yes. I thought with your understanding of politics, my 'methods of persuasion,' and our combined motivation for change that we could become a force to be reckoned with. I thought we could be exactly what the galaxy needed. I tried to convince you that we could do a better job and make things the way that we wanted."

"I don't imagine I was very keen on that idea."

"No. You were not."

"And?"

"And you already know the rest," I finish grimly, "It ended badly." She whispers my name and reaches out to cup my cheek. I turn my face into her caress and press a fervent, reassuring kiss to her palm. "I don't know what the right answer is anymore, Padme'. But I'm willing to do things your way this time."

"It's going to work, Ani. I promise. But you must be patient."

"I hope you're right…for all of our sakes."