It's nearly nine o'clock by the time Sean has fully woken up. He used to be a much earlier riser, years of being a World Security Bureau agent has drilled into him that the mission took precedence over comfort and in many cases sleep. But since meeting and eventually marrying Tiffany that habit was broken. Spending an entire night sleeping, preferably in the arms of the woman he loves, wasn't something he takes for granted. He loves the mornings when they are each other's company. Not being sleep deprived in a foreign country but exhilarated to be alive, to be in love.
Yet today he has woken up feeling unbalanced as if there had been a seismic shift while he slept. The feeling will pass, Tiffany is coming home. Faison will be out of all of our lives soon, and things will get back to normal. He thinks, glancing over at the clock. If his estimation is correct he has more than enough time to shower, shave and make breakfast before Tiffany arrives home.
He knows Tiffany like the back of his hand—knows what she likes and dislikes, and why. He knows that she loves pancakes from Kelly's and a bowl of fresh fruit with coffee for breakfast. He knows from experience not to touch her coffee. He never seems to make it correctly. He knows that she will say she doesn't want orange juice but will drink it anyhow. That she will talk his ear off about everything she has to get done and if she will be home for dinner or not. But this morning he is doing more talking than she is. Getting vague acknowledgements of what he is saying and she is pushing her food around her plate.
She seems so deflated as if whatever she has to say, will shatter her, shatter them. Yet, she never shies away from speaking her mind when it comes to their relationship. She is rarely this quiet. He loudly clears his throat to grab her attention.
She looks startled and then frowns. "Sean?"
He opens his mouth, then closes it. "Nothing. I just got the distinct feeling that what you need to tell me is a lot more serious than what you are letting on."
"Sean. It's nothing." she insists. "I was silly even to mention it. I'm sorry if I worried you. I'm fine."
"Except you're not." Sean reaches out and takes her hands in his. "Tiffany, honey what's wrong?" He notices that her face has lost what little color it had.
"You won't get upset?"
Normally whatever was worrying her would have fallen out of her mouth as soon as she opened the door this morning but instead she had clammed up as soon as she had looked into his blue eyes. She looked as if she needed to just get the words out before she broke down or threw up.
"Cross my heart," he says, squeezing her hands.
"I'm pregnant."
"Tiffany-" he says looking at her across the small distance between them.
"I'm pregnant," she repeats. "We're going to have a baby. Say something, Sean." She holds his gaze for a second before her eyes blur with tears.
He doesn't know what to say. Doesn't know how to express the million emotions he is feeling. They had said maybe, one day they would have a baby, but he had not seen being a Dad in their immediate future. Yet, he'd give Tiffany anything. A home, a life of security, a family . All the normalcy, the happiness that had scared him as a young man. That drew him into the WSB. He had loved that life, loved the danger, the intrigue. He knew that she had loved living close to danger too. He wanted to tell her all these things about how deeply he loved her and how deeply he loved this baby but he couldn't get the words to come out.
"So that's that? Nothing to say, no comment on how this changes our future?" She asks bringing him out of his musings. "If you don't want to have a child with me Sean, you could have just said so instead of sitting there like a fish gasping for air."
"Honey…honey..honey. I never said I didn't want to have a child with you." Tiffany waited in silence for Sean to continue.
"The timing isn't perfect. There is so much going on outside of us. I know, I'm making a mess of this, but what I'm trying to say is I couldn't be happier Tiffany. I love you, you are my mirror and my reflection, and there is no one else I would want to have a baby with."
Tiffany lets out a shaky breath relief washing over her like a wave. She grins at him, "You're going to be a daddy."
Sean smiles back. "You're going to be a mama." He leans in to kiss her on the forehead. He wants to bottle this moment, to stop time, to not think of the shadow hanging over them all. Faison.