(Before I start this one, quick question: should I keep putting Upstead family oneshots in this book, or just make another book specifically for those? I'm not saying that I will make my decision purely based on what y'all say, but I am curious on y'all's thoughts, so please let me know! Thanks)
(Set season 7 after Hailey's CI was shot infront of her. Jay and Vanessa are there for her as she copes and processes.)
(And yes, I am so sad about Jesse's departure. That episode broke me a little and I'm not convinced those tears he and Tracy shed weren't genuine tears. I'll still find ways to have Jay in stuff for this season, so send in the requests please! I've got a series of oneshots I'm doing after this, but will do episode based stories in between them before getting back to the other stuff.)
As soon as Hailey had returned to the district covered in blood with a blank look on her face, Vanessa and Jay became concerned. They'd heard her call on the radios but hadn't been able to get to her, which they hated.
They tried to talk to her, as had Trudy, but Hailey wasn't having any of it and snapped at them. She was pissed, and she had every right to be. Her CI, someone she was friends with, had been killed right infront of her.
At the end of the day, Jay and Vanessa waited in the parking lot while Hailey talked to Voight. She'd pushed some boundaries the rest of the day and Jay heard her crying in the locker room, but she'd refused to say anything.
"Have you ever seen her this way?" Vanessa asked, nervous for what the night would entail.
"Yeah, I have. She's likely to shut down or break down when she gets home. Or drink until she breaks down. I've seen it happen a few times," Jay sighed, thinking of McGrady, Booth, and Devon Williams.
"Wanna come over tonight? Only if Hailey's okay with it? Or will she want me around?" Vanessa worried, only wanting to help her friend but still learning how exactly to do so.
"I'll come if Hailey's okay with it. She'll be okay with you around, I actually think it will help. The main thing is going to be getting her to eat, I'm sure you've noticed that she doesn't eat when she's upset. It's important to make sure she has something in her system, especially when there's going to be alcohol involved," Jay finished as the door opened and an upset Hailey stormed out of the district.
"Who do you want to ride with?" Jay asked softly, seeing the tears in her blue eyes and the telltale tremble of her lip.
Hailey simply got into the passenger seat of her Jeep and Jay sighed. This was bad.
"Take her home, V. I'll get a pizza from Bartoli's. Anything particular?"
"I'm not picky, just no mushrooms," Vanessa shrugged.
"Kay. See you seen, don't let her lock herself in her room please, it'll be hard to get her back out," Jay advised and Vanessa nodded and got in the Jeep.
Hailey was quiet the whole drive and followed Vanessa into the house. She tried to go upstairs but Vanessa stopped her.
"Hail, no, stay downstairs. Jay's coming with pizza," Hailey shut her eyes and dropped her bag to the ground and she huffed, trying not to cry.
"Can I shower?" She asked quietly, visibly fighting her tears.
"Go shower, but please leave the door unlocked and come right back down. I'll go change as well," Vanessa said, touching her shoulder.
Hailey nodded and ran upstairs. She showered and cried then put on a sports bra, sweatshirt, and shorts before going back downstairs and curling herself up on the couch. Vanessa sat by her and put an arm around her, getting Hailey to lean into her.
"It's not on you," she said gently.
"It is. It's my fault. He was mine, and he's gone," Hailey's voice was void of emotion, which scared the younger girl.
"He was yours, but, Hails, you gotta believe me when I say that this isn't your fault. You didn't shoot him, you didn't bring him to the district. It's not your fault," she said, only getting a grumble from Hailey as Jay rang the doorbell.
Vanessa went and let him in, seeing that Hailey had curled into herself even more. Jay frowned.
"She talking?" He asked, walking to the kitchen.
"Not much. She's convinced it's her fault. I know she cried in the shower," Vanessa admitted, worried for the girl before her.
"Hails, come get a plate. Eat a slice and I'll get the good whiskey down," Jay said and Hailey flipped him off but got a plate and put a piece of deep dish on it.
They went and turned the tv on, finding something they knew Hailey liked. Hailey ate very slowly, but she ate, so Jay got the whiskey down and poured each of them a glass. Hailey downed hers and gave him a pleading look for more.
"Last one," he sighed and poured more. Hailey drank it very slowly, ignoring their looks.
"Hail, what are you thinking?" Jay finally asked.
"I got him killed," she said, voice flat.
"Hail," Jay moved closer to her and she shook her head, clearly upset.
"It's my fault. He's mine, it's my fault. I killed him," she said, quiet as tears filled her eyes.
"No, stop, Hailey, look at me. Did you shoot him?" Hailey shook her head. "Did you make him come to the district?" Again, she shook her head, starting to cry.
"But I-" Vanessa cut her off.
"No, Hailey, you did not shoot him. You did what you could to protect him. You even told him to stop and stay away. It is not your fault he didn't listen to you, Hails. Not at all. Please try and believe that," She said, getting emotional from seeing Hailey's tears.
Hailey broke down, pulling her knees to her chest. Jay took her glass and put it on a coaster while Vanessa got Hailey's favorite blanket and put it over her. Hailey was a mess, and Jay pulled her into his arms.
"Just let it out, Hail. We're here, we've got you. Everything will be okay, I'm so sorry you're hurting," Jay said, holding her close.
Vanessa rubbed her shoulder as the blonde sobbed. She felt awful for her friend. Hailey's cries were painful to hear, and her breathing became choppy, which had her and Jay coaching Hailey's breathing and trying to settle her down before she worked herself into a full panic attack, or into throwing up.
"We've got you. In and out, Hailey. In and out, focus on us," Jay said over and over until she settled down and took a deep breath.
"Thank you. I'm fine," she tried but they both gave her a look.
"No, you aren't, and that's okay girl. You saw me crying the other night and helped me. Now let us help you," Vanessa said gently, playing with Hailey's hair.
Hailey nodded a little and sniffled, getting up and going to blow her nose. She went back to the couch and curled herself up between her two best friends. They hugged her and she smiled a little, thankful for them.
"Can we watch something?" She asked, noting the tv had been turned off.
"Sure," Vanessa turned it back on and they settled on the couch, Hailey curled up between Jay and Vanessa. Jay stayed until close to 10:00 then got up.
"I'm going to head out. Please call me if y'all need anything in the night. I'll see y'all in the morning," He said and they both hugged him.
Jay went home and the girls cleaned up then went to bed. Hailey tossed and turned before she finally drifted off.
Vanessa woke up to loud noises from Hailey's room and ran in with her gun drawn, though she quickly lowered it when she realized Hailey was having a nightmare.
"Hails, it's not happening, come on, wake up," she said touching Hailey's shoulder.
Hailey shot up, crying out for Cameron. "Open your eyes, Hailey, it's over," Vanessa said, very worried.
Hailey broke down, unable to breathe properly. Vanessa quickly realized her friend was having a panic attack. She turned the lamp on and grabbed Hailey's hands.
"Look at me, Hailey. Follow me, focus on me. When I squeeze your hands, breathe in. When I let go, breathe out. Everything is going to be okay," She said gently, getting a nod from the hysterical blonde.
It took ten minutes of Vanessa guiding Hailey's breathing for her to settle down and cry. Vanessa pulled her into a hug and rocked side to side, speaking softly about how she was there, it wasn't her fault, and everything would be okay.
Hailey settled down and pulled away, reaching for her water. She took a few sips and looked up at Vanessa. "Thank you," she sniffled.
"Of course. You've done it for me," Vanessa shrugged, still holding Hailey's hands.
"Do you want to go back to sleep?" Hailey shook her head and broke into another round of tears.
"Okay, that's okay. I'm here," she moved and sat beside Hailey rubbing her back.
Hailey nodded and leaned into the younger girl. "Stay?" She asked quietly, almost scared of Vanessa's response.
"I'll stay if you're sure," Vanessa reassured her and Hailey nodded, resting her head on Vanessa's shoulder. This was new, it was normally Vanessa who woke up crying at night, or asked for a hug or comfort. Not normally Hailey.
Vanessa was happy to do anything to help Hailey. Hailey'd done so much for her, so to be able to do something for Hailey was nice. She just wished Hailey wasn't hurting so bad and hated that she was going through this.
Hailey eventually fell asleep, and Vanessa laid her down and turned off the lamp before laying down beside the blonde. Hailey rolled her head towards Vanessa and rested it on her shoulder.
After that, Hailey slept until about 5:30 when she woke up with a scream, effectively scaring the crap out of Vanessa, who shot up with her and pulled her into a hug. Hailey broke down again, and Vanessa simply held her.
"It's over, you're safe, I'm here," she said, rubbing her back and moving her hair out of her face.
Hailey held onto her until she calmed down and was able to relax. "Sorry," she whispered, wiping her cheeks.
"Nope, not necessary. Don't apologize for your emotions, not with me," Hailey nodded and grabbed her phone.
Vanessa laid with her until it was time to get ready for work. Hailey didn't do a ton to get ready and was laying on the couch when Vanessa came downstairs.
"Jay's bringing breakfast," she said as she poured herself some coffee. Hailey nodded.
Jay came over with breakfast and they sat down and Hailey actually ate. Jay could tell she'd had a hard night.
"Do you think you should take a day?" He asked cautiously, not wanting to piss her off.
"No, I'll be fine. Logically, I know y'all are right. Emotionally, it hurts like hell and I'm pissed at Voight for not going after Darius for it. I just wanna close this case," Hailey huffed, getting upset again.
"I get why you're mad. You have every right to be upset, Hail. We're here for you, okay," Jay hugged her and she nodded.
"Thank you, it means a lot," she smiled gently.
They talked until they finished eating, then cleaned up and headed into work. Jay and Vanessa kept an eye out for Hailey all day, wanting to know she was okay. Or at least as okay as she could be with everything going on.
After work, Vanessa went and got Chinese while Hailey showered, then Jay met her at the house and they found Hailey crying on the couch. Jay pulled her into a hug while Vanessa got the food out. She'd been comforting Hailey most of the day, now she needed her partner, so it was Jay's turn.
Jay spent an hour calming her down and talking to her before they could get any food into her. Then they talked some more, drank a little, and watched a show before Hailey felt calm enough to go to sleep.
It took a few weeks for her to sleep through the night, but Vanessa and Jay were there every step of the way, helping her process her emotions. Hailey couldn't believe how lucky she was to have them.