Chapter Sixty: The Pain of Regret

Despite their repeated attempts over the following week, Hagrid wouldn't show himself, neither at the table at mealtimes nor at his hut. The sole bit of good news was that Harry had finally taken his egg for a bath and listened to it underwater, where its screeching had become singing instead.

"Come seek us where our voices sound,
We cannot sing above the ground,
And while you're searching ponder this:
We've taken what you'll sorely miss,
An hour long you'll have to look,
And to recover what we took,
But past an hour, the prospect's black,
Too late, it's gone, it won't come back."

"Well, given that I saw an underwater village, I'm guessing merpeople?" Daphne asked.

Harry nodded. "That's what I thought, too. But I have no clue what they could have taken, nor how I'm going to breathe underwater for an hour…I've written Sirius to ask if he knows anything, anyway."

"Maybe he'll want to meet in Hogsmeade again. We've got another visit coming up, after all," Ron said.

When Sirius wrote back a day later, he indeed suggested they meet up in Hogsmeade again, both to discuss the task and the odd conversation Daphne and Harry had overheard at the Yule Ball.

So, when the time for the visit came, they set off for Hogsmeade early and headed for the Three Broomsticks, where Sirius was already waiting.

"First off: Harry, congratulations," Sirius said once they'd exchanged greetings. "Both with your performance at the first task and…" He glanced at Daphne. "…finding a girl mad enough to want to be with you."

"In fairness, Harry is as mad as she is," Ron said.

Sirius grinned widely. "I know. James would be so proud."

He grew serious again and said, "But the danger is far from over. You still have two tasks left, and whoever wants to get rid of you is bound to increase their efforts now that the first opportunity has passed.

"If your second task will indeed force you to go underwater for an extended period of time, the Bubble-Head Charm is likely your best bet. It is, however, a charm that isn't usually taught until sixth year because it's quite complex. You're able to cast a Patronus, however, so you should be able to pull this one off as well."

"Can you teach me?" Harry asked.

"We'll get started on it this afternoon, but I doubt you'll be able to cast it by the end of the day," Sirius said. "Now, you also mentioned a conversation between Snape and Karkaroff, didn't you? What did you hear?"

Harry told Sirius about the conversation. "You last time Karkaroff was a Death Eater," Harry said. "Was Snape…?"

Sirius scoffed. "He's the type for it, isn't he? When I learned he was teaching at Hogwarts last year, I wondered why Dumbledore had ever hired him. He was always fascinated by the Dark Arts, and I'll say this for him, he's at least as skilled as James and I ever were, though sadly his skills never extended to the concept of personal hygiene."

Harry and Ron chuckled, and even Daphne felt the corners of her mouth twitch.

"He knew more curses when he arrived at school than half the kids in seventh year, and he was part of a gang of Slytherins who nearly all turned out to be Death Eaters."

Sirius held up his fingers and began ticking off names. "Rosier and Wilkes — they were both killed by Aurors the year before Voldemort fell. The Lestranges — they're a married couple — they're in Azkaban. Avery — from what I've heard he wormed his way out of trouble by saying he'd been acting under the Imperius Curse — he's still at large.

"But as far as I know, Snape was never even accused of being a Death Eater — not that that means much. Plenty of them were never caught. And Snape's certainly clever and cunning enough to keep himself out of trouble."

He sighed angrily. "But, while I sometimes think Dumbledore trusts too soon, I just can't believe he'd let Snape teach at Hogwarts if he'd ever been working for Voldemort. And the Snape I knew would not have saved my life, I can promise you that, even to settle a score with James. Frankly, I don't think I'd ever save his, either."

He shook his head. "I don't trust him. I don't think I ever will, but I don't think he's to blame in this case."

Harry nodded slowly. "Well…I guess Moody would be onto him, if he were…" he said. "So, did you see that article about Hagrid?"

They spent some time talking about the prejudices that existed against giants and half-giants, but suddenly Sirius fell quiet and looked up.

"Hello, Harry," Ludo Bagman, who had approached from behind them, said. "Sirius," he added with a short nod, which Sirius warily returned. "I was hoping I'd run into you, Harry," Bagman said. "Everything going alright? Was wondering if I might, er, have a private word with you. Don't worry, nothing nefarious," he added with a wink to Sirius, who nodded skeptically.

Harry glanced at Sirius too, who said, "Only if it's inside the pub and in my sights. Someone's out to get to Harry, Ludo, and I'm not letting it happen on my watch."

Bagman nodded quickly. "Of course, of course, I understand. We'll just be on the far side of the bar there, okay?"

Harry got up and uncertainly followed Bagman.

"What do you think he wants?" Daphne asked.

Sirius shrugged. "I have no idea, but Bagman's been acting shifty for a while now." He looked over at the other side of the pub, where Bagman had come from. "By the looks of it he's here with those goblins. But that doesn't really make sense. Goblins would usually liaise with Barty Crouch, not Bagman." He suddenly groaned. "Oh, no. That idiot," he said.

"What?" Ron asked.

"He's got debts," Sirius said. "That's the only reason the goblins could want anything from him. And if he does…" He glanced at Harry and Bagman. "…then I'm pretty sure what he's talking about to Harry. He's bet on Harry to win, I'm sure of it, so he could use the money to pay off the goblins."

"Would he really talk about that in the open like this, though?" Hermione asked.

"Bagman was a great Beater, but not exactly the sharpest tool in the shed," Sirius said. "If he were, he wouldn't have gotten in debt with goblins in the first place. Just in case none of Binns's classes stuck with you: don't ever cross a goblin. They're fierce, persistent, and incredibly dangerous. If you have a debt to them, you can be sure they will see it settled, one way or another."

Ron frowned. "Fred and George were talking to him a couple of times when he was at Hogwarts. They had a bet with him at the World Cup, that Ireland would win but Krum would get the Snitch. They won, obviously."

Sirius scoffed. "I bet they're trying to get money from him, then. Lost cause, if so. If he's in debt with the goblins they'll take every single Knut he gets his hands on until that debt is settled."

Ron paled. "But…they gave him all their savings," he said.

Sirius grimaced. "Then for their sakes as well, I hope Harry wins the Tournament."

"Speaking of Fred and George," Daphne said. "They're here for Bagman, by the looks of it."

Sirius got up. "That settles it, I'm going over there."

Daphne watched him walk over to Bagman and exchange a few words with him. By the looks on the faces of Bagman, Harry, Fred, and George, Sirius had probably said something quite shocking, and Daphne had a feeling she knew what it was. Sure enough, a few moments later Bagman eagerly shook Sirius's hand and made his way over to the goblins.

Sirius, Harry, Fred, and George came back to the table.

"I cleared his debts," Sirius said, sitting back down again.

"I figured, but why?" Daphne asked.

"He's favoring Harry, trying to help him, taking him aside…he's being suspicious, in other words. We can't have false leads distracting us and I've got the money to pay off the debt. Bagman simply needs to pay it back to me as he is able, as long as he leaves Harry alone. If we waste resources on investigating Bagman, we might miss the real culprit."

"Couldn't Bagman still be it, though?" Hermione asked.

"He could," Sirius acknowledged. "But then he'll reveal himself if he continues trying to offer Harry help with his tasks. He doesn't have a debt anymore, after all. But I really don't think he has anything to do with it. He was on trial for passing information to the Death Eaters at one point, but he was acquitted, and I really think he was just being thick back then and had no idea what he was doing. Anyway…let's find a place to practice the Bubble-head Charm, Harry…"

They headed outside and headed up towards the Shrieking Shack. Sirius looked at it nostalgically for a moment, before turning to Harry and beginning to explain the charm.

"The spell is Bullum Paterum, and while creating the initial bubble is fairly easy, the difficult part is the air manipulation inside the bubble. You have to constantly refresh it while the charm is active and that requires a constant concentration, meaning that any other spells you might need to cast will be that much harder to do without losing your bubble — and if that happens underwater you're in big trouble. Now, watch me closely…"

Sirius took out his wand and said, "Bullum Paterum!" while making a circular movement around his head. A transparent bubble that looked a lot like a fish bowl appeared around his head, weirdly distorting his features.

"It's a bit difficult to talk like this," Sirius said with a muffled voice, and he undid the charm. "But you can move like you normally can. As an added bonus, the charm will allow you good vision underwater since the water won't get in your eyes. Come on, let's practice it a few times…"

For most of the afternoon, they practiced the charm. Daphne, Hermione, and Ron followed along with the lesson. Like Sirius had said, it was a difficult charm to keep going after the initial cast, and while Daphne succeeded fairly quickly at creating the bubble, it kept disintegrating after a few seconds.

By the end of the practice session, they'd all gotten a bit better at it, but even Hermione hadn't mastered the charm yet.

"I'd have been surprised if any of you would've been able to do it after just one afternoon of practice. James and I had Flitwick for a teacher and it took even us a week to get it stable. Just keep practicing in your free time and I'm sure you'll have it down well before the task," Sirius said.

"It only took you a week?" Hermione said in astonishment. While her attempts at casting the charm had been a bit more successful than the others', even she hadn't done it flawlessly yet.

Sirius grinned at her. "James and I really were good at magic, you know. How else did you think we became Animagi at fifteen?"

"Thanks for all the help, Sirius," Harry said. "With this, hopefully I'll be able to retrieve…whatever the merpeople took from me."

"As to that, I have no idea," Sirius said. "Maybe your Firebolt?"

Harry shrugged. "I still have that. For now, anyway. But we'll see, I suppose."

They said goodbye to Sirius and headed back to the castle for dinner. They mostly discussed the difficulties of the charm, and by the end of dinner they found an empty classroom and kept practicing.

Harry was making surprisingly fast progress. Perhaps it was because there was more pressure on him than the others, or maybe it was because he already knew the equally-advanced Patronus Charm.

Daphne, who was pretty good at Charms in general, was doing fairly well at creating a strong bubble, but the continuous Transfiguration of the air inside the bubble to refresh it gave her some more trouble, and while her bubble didn't break as easily anymore, she found that it became more and more difficult to breathe after a while.

Hermione had looked up the spell in a book and was now practicing from theory, while Ron did the exact opposite and attempted to brute-force his way through the spell.

When they said goodbye at the end of the night — Hermione dragging Ron away a bit earlier so Daphne and Harry could have a moment alone — she felt pretty good about Harry's chances in the task.

"See you tomorrow," she said, before giving him a quick kiss.

Harry grinned stupidly and said, "Yeah…good night."

Daphne watched him disappear around the corner before setting off back to her common room. When she approached the door to the dungeons, she ran into Snape, walking to the door from the other direction. Their eyes met for a moment, and Daphne thought about what Sirius had said in Hogsmeade that afternoon. 'Most of his friends turned out to be Death Eaters'.

Deciding she might as well try to find out what she could, she said, "Sir, can I talk to you for a moment?"

Snape frowned, but said, "Very well."

He led them to his office, sat down behind the desk and gestured for Daphne to do the same.

"Well, Miss Greengrass? What is it?" he asked.

Daphne took a deep breath and hoped that her detention would end before she turned fifty. "Were you a Death Eater, sir?" she asked.

Snape's eyes narrowed dangerously. "That is a grave accusation to make."

"Harry and I heard you talking to Karkaroff," Daphne said. "And we know he was a Death Eater."

"That fool…" Snape muttered angrily. "Yet it is hardly conclusive evidence."

Daphne shook her head. "It isn't. But…we also learned that most of your friends in school were Death Eaters as well."

"You've been talking to Black, I presume?" Snape asked sourly.

"We have," Daphne admitted. "Because we want to know who's trying to get Harry killed. Sirius said you were never accused of being a Death Eater, as far as he knows…"

"But you decided you'd ask me directly," Snape said, his upper lip curling into his familiar, unpleasant smile. "Despite the fact that Professor Dumbledore trusts me."

"With respect, sir, he also trusted Lockhart enough to employ him."

Daphne was beginning to feel very uneasy, and it had nothing to do with Snape's angry look.

"And you haven't denied my accusation yet," she said quietly.

Snape remained silent. All that changed was that his expression became even angrier.

"No…no way…" Daphne said, shaking her head in disbelief. "You were a Death Eater! You followed Voldemort! How could you?! How could you ever follow such a maniac?!"

She balled her fists as Snape just kept glaring at her. "I thought you were a good person deep down, but now I wonder how I could ever think that! Did you hunt and kill Muggleborns too? Did you think they were worthless? Did you call them Mudbloods–"

"Silence!" Snape roared, leaping up from his desk and drawing his wand.

Daphne backed up, glaring at Snape angrily and fearfully. If he wanted to hurt her, there would be nothing she could do, but she wouldn't go down without a fight.

Snape, however, seemed to be regaining some of his composure and he put his wand away again.

"What on earth could have made Dumbledore hire you?" Daphne asked scathingly, still afraid, but also still angry. "One of your friends was Muggleborn! Didn't you care–"

She fell silent as the realization hit. "Oh my God, the doe… Your Patronus…"

"I have…let you learn far too much," Snape said grimly. "By all accounts, I should simply Obliviate you…"

Daphne pushed herself back further in her seat. "No…" she whispered, her breathing speeding up.

But Snape didn't seem like he was going to reach for his wand again, instead looking like he was having a fierce internal struggle, and Daphne suddenly thought she knew why Snape hadn't simply Obliviated her already.

"You see her in me," she said, remembering that Hagrid had once said she sounded just like Harry's Mum. "You see Harry's mother in me like you see his father in him. Is that why you let me get away with so much? Why you say nothing rather than lying to me? Because I remind you of someone you used to be friends with? Someone you used to– oh, God…"

As the full implications washed over her, she felt nauseated.

Snape said nothing, and as had become usual for him, his silence said more than his words did.

Daphne took a deep breath to steady herself. No matter how much she didn't want to be in that office for even a second longer, she wanted to know the whole truth now.

"So that's it, then? You were a Death Eater, but when Voldemort killed Harry's mother you turned against him? Couldn't you have just asked him not to?" Daphne asked coldly.

Snape slammed his desk with both hands, but while Daphne flinched, she didn't think he was going to be attacking her anytime soon.

"Fine, then," he said, his voice full of loathing that seemed directed at himself far more than at her. "So be it. I shall tell you the truth. Yes, Miss Greengrass, certain traits you possess remind me of her. At the very least, I find myself unwilling to lie to you, as I was to her."

He fell silent for a moment and stared at the door behind Daphne, unwilling to look her in the eyes.

"My father, Tobias Snape, was a Muggle. He was not a good man, by any stretch of the imagination. He mistreated my mother and me and we lived in poverty. I hated him. So did my mother. But he had taken everything from her. She couldn't leave, but she taught me magic in secret. My only friend at the time was Lily Evans."

He grimaced when he said the name. "She had magic, but her sister was just as much a terrible Muggle as my father was. I wanted nothing more than to come to Hogwarts and be Sorted into Slytherin, where they appreciated the true value of magical blood. She was sorted into Gryffindor, while I went to Slytherin, as I had hoped."

He balled his fists, his gaze still fixed on the door behind Daphne. "It was…liberating. Wizarding blood was celebrated and Muggles were denounced, as they should be. Dumb, blind, weak…pitiful creatures. She was the only exception, as far as I was concerned. The only Muggleborn worthy of Hogwarts."

The look in Snape's eyes had become greedy, and Daphne was relieved he still wasn't looking directly at her.

"She remained my friend, but she was no longer the only one. My Housemates shared my vision, respected and appreciated my talents, and told me of a wizard who would see Muggles subjugated and who would richly reward all those who followed him. I saw the opportunity for revenge against Tobias Snape. I saw a world where I would be recognized and celebrated for what I truly was, where I no longer had to hide like a coward."

Snape's voice was still laden with hatred and disgust, and Daphne could no longer tell whether it was aimed at himself or against Muggles, but she remained quiet.

"She disagreed with me. Often and loudly, as she opposed the views of my friends and me just as she opposed the arrogance and callousness of her Housemates, Potter and Black. Yet she remained my friend…until our fifth year. Potter and Black accosted me. She attempted to intervene, but I told her I didn't need help from a filthy little Mudblood like her."

The anger and loathing now radiating from Snape was clearly aimed at himself, Harry's Dad, and Sirius in equal measure.

"I tried to apologize. She rejected it, accused me of wanting to be a Death Eater, and much like just now, I failed to deny it. Our friendship was over."

His voice became flat now, devoid of any emotion at all. "After I left Hogwarts, I joined the Death Eaters. The Dark Lord was impressed with my skills, valued me as no one had done before. One day, I spied on a meeting in the Hog's Head, where Dumbledore was interviewing a potential candidate for the post of Divination.

"She had just begun to make a real prophecy when I was discovered and thrown out, but I had caught the first two lines of the prophecy. 'The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches. Born to those whose thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies.'"

"As the seventh month dies…" Daphne repeated softly, her eyes widening.

"I relayed the prophecy to the Dark Lord. He decided that it was about Lily Evans's son. Though I had not spoken to her in years…I asked the Dark Lord to spare her, if he could, and he agreed…but I was, for perhaps the first time…afraid. I went to Dumbledore."

"And he helped you?" Daphne asked incredulously, unable to keep herself quiet.

"He loathed me," Snape said, still emotionlessly. "He was disgusted with me, yet agreed to hide Lily and her family, provided I would become a double agent. I agreed. The Fidelius Charm was performed. Pettigrew betrayed them. The Dark Lord…killed Lily, but was vanquished himself, as the prophecy predicted. Dumbledore told me that he would return one day, and that if I truly…loved Lily…I would protect her son against him."

Now, at long last, Snape looked at Daphne again. "I considered him his father reborn. Arrogant, trouble-making, seeking attention…and then you began to stand up for him. You made him apologize for what his father had done to me, even, despite knowing he carried no blame. It forced me to acknowledge that, however little, something of his mother beyond her eyes lives on in him, much as I detest him beyond that. It is that which I am protecting. Which I shall continue to protect, regardless of my feelings towards Potter. Lily Evans died to save him, and I shall not let her sacrifice be in vain."

Daphne frowned. "But beyond that…you still care nothing for Muggles and Muggleborns? If Lily had never died, if Voldemort had killed…anyone else but her…you would still be following him?"

"I work against the Dark Lord now," Snape said coldly.

"But again, you're not denying my accusation," Daphne said. "Harry grew up with a family who hated him. He's half-blood, like you. He found a home here at Hogwarts, like you. And yet he never even considered subjugating Muggles or hating Muggleborns."

"I told you in your first year, Miss Greengrass, do not expect me to change. It isn't in my nature," Snape said.

"And so you live on, hating everything…but mostly yourself? For letting her get killed? For being the one who delivered the information that led to her death, even if Pettigrew gave the final betrayal?"

Daphne shook her head derisively. "Dumbledore was right to be disgusted. You care only for yourself and your own desires. Everyone can go to hell as long as you have what you want. Even working against Voldemort is just revenge. Penance for something you don't truly regret, yet you hate yourself for not sincerely regretting it. I pity you, sir. I really do. But I don't think I'll ever forgive you."

"And I deserve none," Snape said hollowly.

"Don't give me that!" Daphne shouted. "What good is self-hatred when you don't try to even use it for something good beyond what you've essentially been forced to do in order to not get hauled off to Azkaban?! If you truly don't want to be seen as a coward, why not at least try to be a good teacher? Why not at least treat students fairly?

"Look, I never knew Harry's Mum. Thanks to you, I never will, either. But if I'm truly anything like her…do you really think that she'd be impressed with you right now? Yeah, you're protecting her son, but what are you doing to show your actual remorse? What have you learned from the pain of her death?

"Of course you're not going to forgive yourself. Of course I'm not going to. But does that mean you shouldn't even try?! Risking your life doesn't mean much if you don't value your life to begin with. My friends seem to be having a hard time teaching me that lesson…"

She trailed off when she realized how right she was. Every time she put herself in harm's way, it was because she felt she was worth less than her friends. Her avoiding the Slytherins despite starting S.I.N. was just because, deep down, she hated Slytherin and what it stood for. It wasn't until now, shouting at Snape, that she had truly realized what was at the core of her drive to sacrifice herself for her friends: she hated herself, somehow. But…why?

"This has to stop," she said. "For both of us."

She glared at Snape. "I don't know why I…feel the way I do about myself, sir, but I'm going to change it. If you want any chance at all at redemption, real redemption…then start valuing your own life. That way, when you risk it…people will say, 'that man is truly brave' instead of 'that man is trying to die'. Maybe that's why people consider Harry heroic and tell me to stop putting myself in harm's way every time."

Silence now filled the office as Daphne and Snape stared at each other.

"So…what happens now?" Daphne asked after a while, sensing that Snape wasn't going to respond to her 'value your life' speech. It didn't matter. She'd said what she needed to say, anyway.

"Nothing we spoke about must leave the walls of this office," Snape said. "I shall also begin teaching you Occlumency, so prying eyes will not be able to extract the information in other manners. I understand that you can resist the Imperius Curse. Occlumency will defend you against both Veritaserum and Legilimency. You may never tell anyone anything you have heard here, especially Potter. Do you understand me?"

Daphne nodded slowly, but then frowned. Snape singling out Harry, while still partially motivated by hate, seemed to have another reason. "It's not just because you hate him, is it? It's also…his scar," she said, remembering the times Harry had said it hurt, all of which had involved Voldemort in some way.

Snape nodded curtly. "I am not aware of its exact nature, but it appears connected to the Dark Lord. It is not inconceivable that information might be extracted from Potter through that connection, were the Dark Lord to learn of its existence."

"Then shouldn't Harry learn Occlumency as well? Especially if Voldemort will return?"

Snape rubbed his left arm. "It would be wise for him to learn it," he conceded. "Though I am loath to instruct him."

Daphne sighed impatiently. "Harry will listen to you if I'm there," she said. "If you treat him with respect, that is. Look, if protecting Harry despite not liking him is the entire reason you're even alive right now, then properly teaching him Occlumency is probably a bigger sacrifice for you than actually risking your life is. You want to be able to think about Lily with anything other than shame? Make that sacrifice, then."

"You would do well to remember I am still your teacher and Head of House," Snape said irritably.

"Then give me detention, take all Slytherin's and Gryffindor's points away, expel me, whatever. Sir, make no mistake: the respect I had for you is now somewhere near the respect I have for Draco Malfoy, around the center of the earth. Forgiveness is out of reach, regaining my respect is not. And I get the feeling my respect means more to you than it should, and certainly more than you'd like to admit," Daphne said.

Snape glared at her, and Daphne answered it without blinking. She was nervous, certainly, but she wasn't going to back down.

"I shall…confer with the Headmaster," Snape said sourly. "You are dismissed, and remember: not a word about this to anyone. You may inform Potter he shall be receiving Occlumency training. If he asks for a reason, you may tell him about the connection in his scar. If I understand correctly, he is aware of that connection already."

Daphne nodded once, then got up and left Snape's office — but she didn't go towards the Slytherin common room. Now that she was on her own again, she could feel all the emotions that had built up during the conversation with Snape boiling inside her. There was only a single person she wanted to see, only a single person who she could let all of those emotions out with, even though she wouldn't be able to tell him the real reason for them.

She fought to keep her breathing controlled as she snuck her way up to the Gryffindor common room. Just a bit longer…it wasn't that late yet, after all, Harry would surely still be awake…

She reached the portrait of the Fat Lady without incident. "Password?" she asked.

Daphne shrugged. "I'll wait here until someone shows up."

She sat down on the ground and leaned back against the wall with her eyes closed. If Filch or a teacher came by she'd be in trouble, but she didn't care.

She wasn't sure how long she sat there. She might even have dozed off a bit for a moment, but when she heard the portrait opening, she scrambled to her feet — and looked into Harry's eyes.

"I was checking the Marauder's Map and saw you here," he said.

He studied her face and his expression grew worried. "What's wrong?" he asked anxiously.

Daphne merely wrapped her arms around him. The dam broke. All her anger, fear, and worry spilled out as Harry awkwardly held her and patted her back while she wordlessly cried into his shoulder.

"Come on, let's get into the common room," Harry said softly, and he helped her through the portrait hole.

Daphne let him lead her to one of the double seats near the fire. She didn't care that some of the people still in the common room were staring at her and Harry. All that mattered was that she was with him.

"What happened?" Harry asked softly after a few minutes, but Daphne shook her head.

"Just…hold me…" she said, and Harry listened.

And in front of the fire in the Gryffindor common room, still holding Harry and crying silently, she eventually fell asleep.

The spell for the Bubble-Head Charm is never given, but my incantation is simply the Google Translate version of 'bubble bowl', 'bulla patera' altered a bit.

The conversation between Daphne and Snape is probably going to be controversial. I'm fine with that, honestly. In my opinion, the least realistic part of it is a fourteen-year-old having the emotional maturity to call Snape out on all these things in the first place, not so much the fact that Snape is projecting like crazy. That said, I don't think any of the kids in this story have acted their age much since chapter one, so even though it's not necessarily realistic, I don't consider it to be entirely unrealistic either, though I realize some readers might disagree with me.

I also know Snape was never aware that Harry was a Horcrux, but he's an observant and clever person who knows there is a connection between Harry and Voldemort because Harry is a Parselmouth, even if, like he says, he's not aware of the exact nature of it. Given how skilled he is at both Occlumency and Legilimency, I highly doubt he wouldn't have realized what Voldemort might use that connection for if he knew it was there. Harry's scar hurting, while not publicized yet in this fic, is something he might well have noticed even as far back as first year.

In canon, Snape admonishes Harry for being too emotional to learn Occlumency, but also in canon, Snape himself is nearly constantly in a state of rage after Prisoner of Azkaban, and in my view he's a bastion of self-loathing all the time. That's why I feel that he, seeing some of Lily's traits in Daphne, would conceivably react the way he does in this entire story despite his skill at Occlumency. He is not a healthy individual, in any case.

Of course, there is a chat transcript from JKR that directly contradicts some of the things I have Snape saying here. It says, for instance, that Snape thought Lily would find him impressive if he joined the Death Eaters. I'm choosing to invoke 'Death of the Author' on that and interpreting him as someone who, at his core, isn't a good person, but who acts on the side of good out of love anyway. As in, he genuinely did and does love Lily, but he also feels less-than-positive about Muggles and Muggleborns and sees himself as above them, while also feeling he is a terrible human being. His prejudice has been lessened a bit over the years, but it's still there regardless.

Well, controversial or not, it's an important chapter all the same. Don't be afraid to let me know what you think about it, good or bad. If it's the kind of thing that makes you drop the fic, thank you for getting through 200k words of it. If you're still on board…see you in the next one.