Loki slept poorly but awoke with a sense of purpose nevertheless. He had prepared for this day, and one way or another, he would be getting a reckoning after this. One way or another, he would be able to move on, hopefully to better things. Amusingly, as General Aldrif escorted him back into the chamber, Loki saw that not only had the humans all returned, but that they had likely stayed the night rather than going home and explaining themselves to their greater governmental body. Despite the rumpled clothing, they absolutely looked like they belonged in this room of gods and giants, Loki thought. The mortals' tiny rebellion made him feel a little better about himself, somehow. No matter who he was, where he had come from, or what he had done, he had a right to dignity and to be heard, because he was alive.
"Lord Forseti, you may close first," Njordr said first, once everyone was settled.
Forseti reorganized his notes for a moment, then stared directly at Loki. When he spoke, his words were stern. "The defendant has not denied his guilt for his crimes. Rather, he has freely admitted to conspiracy, attempted murder, attempted genocide, and other wanton destruction. He has argued regarding the motives behind these crimes, yet his motives are immaterial. The law permits only two exceptions to culpability based on motivation in the case of major violence and war crimes. The first is true insanity, that he did not understand his crimes at the time to be wrong. Loki has not argued for this but rather holds he does understand his guilt exactly. Indeed, by his own theorizing of motivation, it would seem he even believes he understood his misdeeds as he was doing them. Loki's argument regarding motive goes against typical defensive purpose, for what do the motivations of a madman matter? No, he was and is not mad. The second exception the law permits is that of coercion. Loki has argued for this, but only with regards to the invasion of Midgard. And yet, his own expert witness the Lady Loralei admits the possession the defendant believes led to this outrageous assault would not necessarily subvert his own actions at all times. Meanwhile, our crown prince attests every action taken and word uttered by the defendant whilst on Midgard was hostile.
"If the defendant wishes to argue that his motivation in his vicious attacks on Jotunheim, on Midgard, and on his own brother was fear and confusion rather than the political avarice it appears, he can, but that will not salvage his honor. Nor will it change the fact that his actions led to the deaths of hundreds or thousands of people. Those lives deserve accounting, retribution, and reparation. The defendant may now claim that the injuries he has suffered as a consequence of his actions go some way to exonerate him; this is false reasoning. A thief is not forgiven because they fell out of the upper story window of the house they were burgling. A war criminal is not forgiven and honored because of their war injuries. Whatever else he may now be, Loki is a war criminal. Our laws for his crimes are clear, and he must face the consequences of his actions. Prosecution rests."
There was a smattering of applause as Forseti finished his speech. Loki understood why. It was a good argument and delivered well, and it appealed to the angry feelings in the crowd. Even Loki rather agreed with Forseti's overarching point. Njordr halted the applause simply by raising his hand, though. "Loki of Asgard, you may close."
"The defendant has not denied his guilt for his crimes for the simple reason that the crimes happened," Loki said, referring to himself in the third person as a mock to Forseti, by mimicking the prosecutor's prosody. He resumed his usual mode of speech after. "It would be a great stain upon my honor to deny the awful truth of what has in fact happened, for that would be to disregard the suffering that I have caused. That would be cowardly self-preservation. The prosecution has misunderstood the substance of my defense. When I seek to understand the reasons for what happened, it is so I and all of you can be absolutely certain it will never happen again. And I can say with full honesty that it will not. I do not lust for a throne, now or most likely then, so my brother is not at risk from me. I believe I was afraid and uncertain, and yes, angry and overcome by racist self-doubt when I attacked Jotunheim. I am not now, nor am I at risk for such, therefore Jotunheim is not at risk from me. I believe I was coerced by means of a possession into attacking Midgard, and now that possession is broken. I hold Midgard in friendship; they are not at risk from me." He really would rather die than add to the shame he was feeling; no one was at risk from him. If there was such thing as an Asgardian pacifist, he was it, now.
"My lords and ladies, what is the purpose of trials and convictions? It is to understand the facts of an event and where wrong has taken place to assign blame." He stared at Njordr, then at Odin. "Convict me. For what I am told I did, I deserve it." Frigga, Thor, and several in the audience gasped, but Loki was far from done. "But trials and convictions alone are not justice. As the honorable Lord Forseti says, where lives have been lost, there must be accounting, retribution, and reparation. For accounting of these crimes, Forseti has said hundreds or thousands of people lost their lives at my hand. This is incorrect. There is no 'or' about it. There were two Jotun agents who died in the Vault as a consequence of my plot to bring them there. Their names were Beorn and Broud. There were five Jotun lords who died outside of Odin's bedchamber. Their names were Annas, Dwali, Egil, Sigi, and King Laufey, although only King Laufey died by my hand there. There were three thousand fifty-six settlements on Jotunheim damaged to some degree by the Bifrost - that is every permanent settlement. Of the innocent people caught in the destruction, twenty-six thousand four hundred reported significant injuries, and there were forty-seven that were never found or who the expert healers who rushed to assist in the disaster could not save. Their names were Ake, Alva, Asger, Astrid, Bard, Bjarke, Brandt, Brenna, Brynjar, Calder, Carr, Corey, Dagny, Egil, Elof, Evun, Eydis, Fritjof, Garth, Goste, Gunvor, Hakon, Halstein, Halvar, Hertha, Holmes, Inkeri, Jorunn, Loge, Olaf, Olga, Ove, Runa, Saga, Sassa, Signy, Siv, Solveig, Stein, Tait, Thurman, Thyra, Tue, Unn, Vali, Vernon, and Viggo."
Loki heard one of the Jotun ambassadorial party start weeping behind him, but he did not stop. "There were thirty-six humans injured and eighty-seven killed before the spatial portal opened over New York, one of their most populous cities with over eight million people, so I am told. There were two thousand injured in the invasion of New York, and seventy-one deaths. Their names were-"
"For brevity, you may keep them to yourself," Njordr instructed. More of the audience was disquieted.
"No, I will not," Loki said firmly. "Because their lives should be honored, by me especially. The names of all the humans who lost their lives were Abdul, Adam, Ahmed, Aisha, Alena, Alexios, Andrea, Andrew, Anezka, Angelo, Annie, Audrey, Astra, Asuka, Ayla, Beau, Benjamin, Boris, Britney, Bruce, Bryce, Carrie, Cameron, Carter, Chaia, Chase, Chava, Chen, Chloe, Christopher, Cho, Damien, Darrell, David, Devon, Dhruv, Dinh, Dominic, Earl, Edgar, Elgar, Ellen, Erica, Eunice, Fabien, Faraz, Fernando, Florian, Frederico, Gal, Gertrude, Gina, Grace, Guido, Hal, Heather, Hector, Helmut, Henryk, Honoria, Igor, Ilhan, Isaac, Isold, Ivan, Jack, Jacques, Jai, Jasmine, Jesse, Jiro, Karl, Katherine, Kelsey, Kenny, Kiri, Kumar, Larry, Lauren, Leslie, Li, Liang, Lindsay, Lukas, Lunette, Lydia, Malcomb, Mansoureh, Maria, Marissa, Mark, Marvin, Melvin, Mercedes, Mia, Michael, Mihranoush, Mohammad, Nathaniel, Neil, Niccolo, Nicholas, Nichole, Norman, Olivia, Omar, Orlando, Oscar, Parvati, Patryk, Paul, Paula, Pedro, Quentin, Rajesh, Ramon, Raquel, Renee, River, Rodrigo, Rupert, Sara, San, Sandeep, Sean, Shelby, Shivani, Sira, Sonny, Sri, Stella, Suleiman, Tahir, Taimur, Talib, Tanis, Tesla, Tiana, Tiang, Toula, Trevor, Tristan, Umberto, Ursula, Utpal, Uwimana, Veena, Victoria, Vlodomir, Wanda, Wendy, Weng, William, Woodrow, Wren, Xi, Xiomara, Yaz, Ysabelle, Zach, Zhao, and Zion." He paused and looked down. "That is some little accounting. The least. It was hundreds who died, but many thousands who were hurt. I may have read the names, but I cannot name the thousands. I cannot account for the suffering.
"Now for retribution and reparation. I cannot give back the lives that were taken, which would be the only complete reparation. I can say that I suffer, both in regret and shame, and in the injuries which Lord Forseti would say I cannot claim for this purpose. Yet I will not say that amounts to just retribution. I know the punishments which these crimes warrant. I asked for a trial when my father showed no signs of scheduling what must be, knowing it could mean my execution. I would ask the court though to consider again our purpose, that is, justice. What is the purpose of convicting and sentencing one who no longer remembers the crime? I said before that the mind my injuries have left to me is blameless of these deeds. I tell you now my mind will no longer even conceive the dark thoughts that must have driven these darker actions. There is no punishment that will reform me more than I already am. I also do not think any further punishment on my head would deter someone else with murderous or genocidal intent. There is no point in retribution but for appeasing vengeance, which upon my depleted head would be hollow and vainglorious, not honor.
"That said, I am determined to pay this wergild. I asked for this trial not to exculpate myself but to create the venue for just reparation. I know I cannot fix this sin, but I want with all my being to try. If I am to be exonerated or convicted, it makes no difference to my purpose. My freedom within the law will allow me to make the greatest amends, and so that is what I ask. I hope my conviction would also bring about avenue for amends, and more meaningful ones than merely more stripes on my back, a cage, or Norns forbid my neck." He paused, then looked at Odin briefly before turning back to Njordr. "And yet, if vengeance will not be denied and I am for the axe, then for mercy's sake, swing it. Do not torment my friends and family with false hope. Defense rests."
Njordr and the rest of the council looked a little disconcerted at Loki's final words. Loki smiled inwardly. That had been his intent, to put them off guard. The ones who thought as Forseti had articulated expected him to lack insight and claim innocence. It would be harder for them to ask for his head when he had essentially dared them to do so and thus show their dishonor. Njordr cleared his throat. "The cases for and against the accused have been heard. The prosecution and defense are now dismissed, and the hearing adjourned for the rest of the day while the court deliberates. We will reconvene in the morning, or at will pending the decision of the court in this affair."
Loki and Forseti both stood up and bowed to Njordr and Odin and turned to the exit. The audience was also stirring, but waited for their passage before exiting the chamber themselves. As soon as they cleared the doors, Forseti twisted his hand to raise a privacy charm. Loki had not even known the man to be a magician. "Well spoken, Loki. I hope you win."
Surprised, Loki looked at him. "You do?"
"I do."
"You recall that if I win, you lose," Loki pointed out.
Forseti grinned slightly. "Not necessarily. That was the genius of your defense after all. It is entirely possible for us both to win, me on my technical rectitude, you on the substance of your argument. I will not be at all surprised if you are convicted of something, but I also fully expect you to walk away from this, as you put it, 'free under the law.' Which is what you're after, isn't it?"
"Perhaps," Loki said, unwilling to admit his intentions entirely to his own prosecutor.
Forseti winked at him. "I'm pretty sure the council hired me for more than just my credentials." Forseti was widely regarded as the best prosecutor in the city and had been for centuries, so Loki was not sure what he meant. The lawyer noted his confusion though and explained, "If I lose this case, my reputation can take it." That made sense. Loki knew the trial had gained legitimacy the moment it was announced Lord Forseti would be arguing the prosecution. If he lost a case, it was because it was unwinnable. Which of course meant the public could either decide justice was done, or that the trial had been fixed ahead of time. But if Forseti amiably conceded, he would make whatever decision the council came to appear credible to all but the most fervent of Loki's enemies.
"You are an honorable man," Loki said. He meant it as a thank you, of course.
"So are you, I think," Forseti told him. "It takes courage to face one's accusers willingly, especially in circumstances like these." He smiled again, and dropped his hand and the charm. "See you tomorrow, Loki." He turned and walked away.
Forseti was almost instantly replaced by Fandral, touching a hand to his elbow. Loki caught his eye and abruptly turned down the nearest side hall, and then took the next turn as well. As soon as they were alone, he clasped Fandral into a tight hug. "Sorry," he whispered.
Fandral clung to him silently for a moment, then kissed his stubbly hair. "I hate you," the captain said.
Loki laughed, "No, you don't."
"No, but it took everything I had not to bite my nails down to the quick in there. Particularly at the end when you basically dared them to have you executed. 'If I am for the axe, for mercy's sake, swing it.' You absolute ass." Fandral kissed his temple and then his lips.
"Sorry," Loki said again in between kisses. "That probably was horrible to hear." Fandral nipped his lower lip with the next kiss before pushing Loki against the wall and pressing his body close. "Ow," Loki said lightly, and giggled. "Your anger is really interesting, my friend."
"If you want interesting, I can give it to you," Fandral murmured. His hands dropped from Loki's shoulders to his waist.
"Um... not right here and not right now," Loki told him.
Fandral sighed and rested his head on Loki's shoulder. "Fine," he said. "But you owe me after locking me out last night and making me watch that today." Loki stiffened a little, involuntarily. He made himself relax as soon as he realized, but not before Fandral noticed. Fandral straightened up and shook his head, moving a hand back up to Loki's face. "I don't mean that way. I just want time with you that isn't anxiety-inducing." He grinned and kissed the tip of Loki's nose. "I'll get over it. Don't worry. And I still love you, count on that."
"I'm sorry," Loki said a third time, and meant it. He really wished he could give Fandral more than just his time.
"Don't be. I would have had a great time listening to your silver tongue if I hadn't been so worried. It was probably a brilliant defense, for people who could hear more than just the frightening parts of it."
"Still, I would like to make it up to you," Loki said firmly. Fandral definitely deserved something after the hell Loki had been putting him through.
"Tonight?" Fandral said hopefully.
Loki hesitated, then shook his head. He definitely wasn't ready for tonight. He needed all of this to be behind him, and then, Norns willing, he would be ready to open his heart to something more than the silent cries of his many victims. Only then would he have peace enough to accept Fandral's love, without reservations, as the dear man deserved. "Tomorrow, after it's all over. I'll be ready then." He grinned to cushion the denial. "But maybe you should pass by Oleg's barracks on your way back to your office, see if he's in. The way you slammed me into the wall and held me there... it seems you could use a bit of manhandling at the moment."
Fandral laughed and kissed him one last time, lingeringly. "If I do, I'll tell you all about it, later. Every detail," Fandral breathed into Loki's ear, sending delicious shivers all down his spine. Then the captain finally let him go, bowed with several flourishes, and left. Loki stayed leaning against the wall for a long time, until a palace orderly finally passed through the hallway to disturb his solitude. He shook himself and started walking back towards his room. The trial had gone as well as he might have hoped, particularly if Lord Forseti himself was complementing him on his defense. By this time tomorrow, he would probably be officially free, no more doubt hanging over his head. He would probably be assigned a new purpose, repairing the damage he had caused. The chances of everything going wrong now were slim. Tomorrow, he could move on with his life.
So why was he feeling more uncertain than ever? Just nervousness? Loki sped up his mildly wobbly gait irritably, as if he could outpace his doubts. Hopefully, those calmed down after tomorrow. He really wanted to be able to let Fandral back into his bed.
Author's note: It's the penultimate trial chapter. I had fun with the closing argument speeches, hope you did too :) I totally forgive you for skimming the long list of names, though lol