AN: Here we are at the end! I'm kind of nervous an I hope you all enjoy it! Thanks for joining me with this story. There may be an epilogue at some point, but for now I am going to leave this story marked as complete.
CHAPTER 17
"He lied to me Janet!" Sam shouted as she returned from the kitchen with a spoon and pint of ice cream in her hand. She sunk into the couch flinging the container top onto her coffee table.
When Janet found out that Sam had cancelled her vacation with Jack, she declared an emergency girls' night and showed up at Sam's apartment with wine, ice cream, and a variety of movies—prepared for any direction the night might take them. Apparently, it was an ice cream kind of situation.
"He lied and manipulated; and he's the same as all the other men I attract."
"Sam, you know very well Jack is different."
"He used information that I confided in someone else to get me to date him."
"Should I remind you that Jack is Jon? He used things that you told him. I think it's actually kind of sweet that he remembered those details and thought they were important."
"You know what I mean."
All night, Janet had been trying to balance supporting her friend's frustration and hurt while also preventing her from potentially making a big mistake. So far they had been going around in circles while she tried to lead Sam to the realization herself. She decided to try a more direct approach.
"Ok fine, was it Jon who wooed you with the aurora at the Gamma Site?"
"Well, no."
"Was it Jon who stopped at nothing to make sure you were safe from the NID?"
"No."
"And was it Jon that you've spent the last several month falling in love with?"
"What?! In love? I'm not—" she started to protest before shutting her mouth under Janet's glare. "No."
"He made a mistake, Sam. He's made worse ones in the past and he'll make more in the future. He's not perfect, but that man will never do anything to hurt you on purpose."
"I just feel so betrayed and foolish." Sam buried her face in the throw pillow. Janet smiled sympathetically at her friend before taking the almost spilling pint and placing it on the coffee table.
She took Sam's hand and gently rubbed her arm. "I know it hurts, honey, but I think that if you're honest with yourself, you know that you have plenty of feelings for Jack regardless of anything to do with Jon. So what's really the problem?"
After a moment of hesitation, Sam relented. "When I first saw him, I could tell he was nervous about something; and for a brief moment I thought…well I'm not sure exactly but I thought."
"You thought he was going to propose?"
"Well, not actually propose. We haven't even said 'I love you' yet. But I thought he might make some sort of proclamation of commitment, and then it all just sort of flashed through my head—moving in together, getting engaged, getting married, having kids."
"And it scared you?"
"No, the exact opposite. It made me feel…"
"Happy?"
"Overwhelmingly so." The soft smile on Sam's face was brief before she broke herself out of her reverie. "But then it all came crashing down that much harder. How could I have such strong feelings for someone who might not be who he seems? I've already done that before. I can't do it again, Janet."
"Jack is not Jonas."
"How can you be sure? Jonas' true colors didn't show until after we were engaged."
"Now I'm not excusing what he did, but have you thought about the fact that Jack didn't have to tell you the truth about Jon and you might've never known the difference? Instead, he risked everything because he didn't want any secrets between you. He trusted that what you two have was strong enough to work through this. The question is…was he wrong?"
Sam stared at Janet contemplating her words. She still felt the conflict inside her. At the moment, they seemed equally matched, and she wasn't sure which one would win out. Anxiety started to rise from the uncertainty. I should've picked the wine over ice cream.
Jack heard the car door close in the driveway. He was sitting on the couch in his living room nursing a warm beer and playing some racing game on his PlayStation like he'd been doing every day for the past week. He sighed. So far he had managed to fend off Daniel's prying attempts, but he knew it was only a matter of time before his speckled friend showed up.
Normally when he wanted to get away, he would escape to the comfort of his cabin. Of course, this time, being there alone would only serve as a reminder of what he had lost. The spark in his life had been abruptly snuffed out when she walked away from him that day. Not that he blamed her or didn't half expect it. Still, he had hoped.
When he finally realized that the anticipated knock on the door still hadn't sounded, he stood up and walked to the front. His heart skipped a beat when he saw Sam's car parked behind his truck. He took a few steps out and looked around, but she was no where to be seen. Perplexed, he went to his back porch door and looked outside.
There he saw her sitting on the swing he had built for her gently swaying back and forth. His heart leapt in his chest and he had to pull it back down, not wanting to get his hopes up. After a few minutes debating on if he should go out or not, he took a deep breath—readying himself for whatever was about to happen—and slowly opened the door and headed towards her.
The short walk across his yard seemed excruciatingly long, but he couldn't seem to make his legs go faster. His eyes never left the sight of her in a light blue sun dress that made her blonde hair radiate like the sun in the sky. Her gaze was pointed upwards to the clouds and never wavered as he got closer. He stopped under the shade of the tree just short of where she sat.
"I wasn't sure you were going to come out."
"Wasn't sure you wanted me to."
She purred softly in response before finally meeting his eyes. "It's a beautiful swing. Just like the one my parents used to have."
She motioned with her head towards the space next to her on the swing. He got the message. She was willing to listen, but he had to be ready to talk. He slowly removed his hands from his pockets and moved to join her.
"I'm sorry I ran out like that the other day."
"Sam, you have absolutely nothing to apologize for. I understand why you reacted the way you did," he quickly replied. It amazed him that even in this situation, she was trying to apologize for her behavior.
"Still, I could've handled it a little bit better." She gave him a small smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. "So...I understand why you didn't tell me right away. We weren't on the best of terms and to be honest, I probably would've been too stubborn to listen. But why didn't you tell me once we got past all that?"
"Because I'm an idiot," Jack replied almost automatically. Sam shot him a glare, rolled her eyes, and rose from the swing. He cursed himself and quickly amended his response. "I was scared."
Thankfully, she stopped and turned back to him. He visibly released the breath he had been holding. Satisfied, she reclaimed her seat and encouraged him with her eyes to continue.
"The way I feel when I'm with you...I haven't had that much joy in my life in a really long time. I wasn't even sure I could feel that way again ever since...Charlie. I was afraid to lose that. You already deserve so much better, and I couldn't see any way that you wouldn't be done with me if I told you. I was selfish. I told myself I was doing it to protect you—to spare hurting you—but really I was doing it to protect me. I ended up hurting you which was the last thing I ever wanted to do, and for that I'm truly sorry."
His answer surprised her. Most people would've just replied with truth sounding statements intertwined with apologies. She hadn't expected such open honesty and vulnerability. She stumbled through her thoughts when Janet's words resounded in her mind, 'Jack didn't have to tell you and you might've never known the difference. Instead he risked everything because he didn't want any secrets between you.'
"Why did you tell me when you did?"
"Because you deserved to know the truth," he replied. She gave him a look asking for the real reason, no place for cop out answers here. He took a deep breath to gather his thoughts before he continued. "Because I'm completely and undeniably in love with you, Samantha Carter; and I want to be someone remotely worthy to love you."
The air left her lungs as she watched the words leave his lips. When she looked up to meet his gaze, she saw a fire lit. Boldness and courage were rising behind the fierce stare of desire.
"I want to be the person who makes you laugh, who holds you when you're sad, who listens when you have one of your brilliant ideas. I want to celebrate your achievements and support you through your struggles. I want to fight with you and make up with you. I want everything that comes with loving you. I know I don't deserve it, but I want to be the one you choose. And to even have a chance at forever with you...I just couldn't not tell you anymore."
Sam saw the sincerity in his eyes. Janet was right. Jack was not Jonas. Although they came from a black ops background, that's where the similarities ended. Jack didn't enjoy the secrets. It wasn't something that he used to maintain control. He was a man with honor, even in his mistakes, willing to take responsibility for his actions.
"And you say you're not very good with words," she sniffled as she felt tears forming. Before she knew it, his hands immediately held her cheeks, thumbs ready to catch any drops that escaped.
"They seem to come easy when it's about how much I love you," he whispered as he leaned his forehead to hers.
Sam pulled away a little and cupped his face to force him to look back at her. There was so much love emanating from his eyes, but she also saw that remnants of guilt remained. She found herself at a loss for the words that could convince him of what she felt.
"Can I show you how much I love you too?"
The twinkle return to Jack's eyes when Sam moved her arms around his neck and brushed her lips across his placing a soft, brief kiss. I forgive you.
He sighed in relief which brought a smile to her face. She pressed her lips against his again, a little deeper and longer this time, biting his bottom lip as she pulled back ever so slightly. I love you too.
Sam giggled at the breathy moan he released. At that moment, the only necessity was more of him. She caressed the hair on the back of his neck while pulling his body against hers. As his hands responded against the small of her back, she captured his mouth into a kiss filled with every ounce of passion in her that left no doubt of what she was saying—I choose you.