Chapter 8 – Alderaan
Author's Note: Please don't kill me? This was the most realistic alternative, since I didn't want to truly Vader-ify Vader, because that would have been too awful. T_T
WARNING: Graphic depictions of violence! Read at your own risk. You have been warned.
~ Amina Gila
The cell is quiet now, except for Ahsoka's pained gasps, and Vader could sink the floor out of sheer relief that Sidious was called away to receive an important message. Right now, he hardly cares what it is, only that he's gone. He steps forwards awkwardly, trying his best to ignore the stench of burned flesh which is permeating the air. It's making him feel nauseous, but it's better now that the torture has stopped, no matter how temporarily.
He can't even bring himself to really look at Ahsoka, to see the damage that's been done to her. He can't – he knows it's technically his fault, because he wouldn't tell Sidious what he wanted to know, but at the same time, Ahsoka would never forgive him for betraying the Rebellion, not to mention the hundreds, or more likely thousands, of people who would die if he was weak enough to give in.
So, he resisted, so matter how hard it was for him to remain silent while Sidious slowly and methodically burned through Ahsoka's arm with his lightsaber, starting at her fingertips. Over half of her lower left arm is missing now, he thinks, almost up to her elbow.
"Ahsoka?" he whispers, hating how much his voice shakes he takes a careful step forward, trying to avoid all the ash and burned flesh littering the floor.
"Hey," she croaks, her voice hoarse from screaming for so long. Her blue eyes are dulled with pain, and he reaches for her slowly, gently touching her right shoulder.
"I'm sorry," Vader whispers desperately, tightening his grip a little. "I'm so sorry."
"S'not y-your fault," she pants, shaking her head slightly. "S'not. D-don't… g-give in. S-stay st-strong, little b-brother." She pauses, gasping for breath and trying to ride out the waves of unending pain that he can feel radiating from her through the Force. "I l-love you."
"Love you, too," Vader manages to say, though it feels like a betrayal when he's letting her get tortured so badly. She, unsurprisingly, went unconscious multiple times, and each and every time, Sidious had her injected with a stim to force her back to consciousness again. It's nothing short of barbaric, and he hates feeling so helpless. He hates it.
He senses – only sort of, because the cell they're in is somewhat Force dampening – Sidious returning, and hastily steps backwards, away from Ahsoka, so as not to show any more weaknesses than he already has.
The Emperor's expression is filled with satisfaction, and that instantly sets Vader on edge. "I have discovered the identity of one of the main Rebel leaders," he practically brags. "Bail Organa and his family on Alderaan are traitors. And you, as my apprentice, Lord Vader, will go there immediately and deal with them. Capture them and bring them here to Coruscant where they will be dealt with. Do not fail me." The 'or else' remains unspoken, and Vader really does not want to know what kinds of creative punishments Sidious will have in mind if he fails.
But can he afford to succeed?
**w**
For days now, Anakin has been unable to truly sense Vader. Their bond had remained distant and fuzzy around the edges. And then suddenly, it snaps back with full force. He gasps as Vader's presence floods the back of his mind and reaches out towards the younger man to check on him. Normally, Vader's presence is a cloud of steady darkness in the Force; he's dark, but he has a durasteel grip on himself. Now? Now, Vader feels like a chaotic storm, the darkness radiating from him so strongly that Anakin could swear he can feel it tangibly in the room where he is.
Still, that doesn't stop him from slowly and hesitantly, reaching out to the younger man. "Vader?" he sends tentatively.
"Anakin." Even at a distance, Vader sounds relived, and Anakin can feel the emotion wash over him through their bond. But he says nothing more.
"What's happened?" he asks. "Are – where are you?" He can't say 'are you okay?' when he can feel it for himself. Vader is not okay. He's the furthest thing from okay.
"I… am enroute to Alderaan," Vader answers. "Sidious has sent me there with orders to capture Bail and his family. He knows they're involved with the Rebellion, and I have no choice."
There's a lot of things, truths, underlying Vader's words, and Anakin takes a moment to try and piece them together. With sinking dread, he realizes that… "You joined him. He forced you to become his apprentice, didn't he?" he tries to hide the horror and dismay in his words, because what has Sidious done to Vader? To Ahsoka?! There's a part of him which is too terrified to find out. And also… "Our family is on Alderaan, Vader. We had to leave Tatooine."
Panic, white-hot and overwhelming, flares within Vader. "Get them out of there now! I'll be there within three hours. I'm in the shuttle as we speak."
"They have nowhere to go, and I don't think I can get a transmission through to them in time," Anakin realizes grimly. "I'll try, but I think we need a backup plan."
He scrambles from the room where he had been attempting to get some rest and nearly runs straight into Obi-Wan. "We're in trouble," he blurts out before his former master can say anything. "I just got into contact with Vader, and he's been forced to be Sidious' apprentice, and he's being sent to Alderaan to arrest Bail and his family. We can't let that happen. We need to warn them. We –"
"Anakin, calm down," Obi-Wan admonishes gently, raising his hands and laying them on Anakin's shoulders to ground him.
It's only then that he realizes how hard his heart his pounding, how his fear and panic and dread are looping with Vader's, sending them both spiraling. He deliberately takes a slow breath, trying to calm his racing heart and still the terror that is beginning to overwhelm him. It takes a few minutes for him to regain his usual composure, a process not helped by the fact that he can't stop nearly panicking about how every second counts.
"Are you okay now?" Obi-Wan's voice is just as calm as soothing as it was before, even though Anakin can pick up on his anxiety.
He nods jerkily, exhaling harshly. "We need to return to Alderaan."
His former master hums a wordless agreement. "I would tend to agree. We should tell the others, and then, we have to make plans."
Anakin follows Obi-Wan to the room where Sabe and Barriss are waiting. Custos is there via a hologram, as is Satine, and they're all making last minute preparations. The conversation stops when the duo enters the room, probably because they can all sense that something has happened. Obi-Wan explains briefly to the four, what Anakin told him, while Anakin reaches for Vader again. There's one more thing he needs to ask.
"Vader, is Ahsoka…?" He can't bring himself to finish the question, even though he knows that she's still alive, because he would have felt it if she'd died. She might be alive, but that doesn't mean that she's alright, and some part of him, a part he's trying not to listen to, is telling him incessantly that she was hurt, tortured, that that's the reason behind why Vader feels the way he does. Because Anakin knows that neither of them would break and betray the Rebellion.
The nonverbal sound that echoes across their bond sounds like a sob. "She… is alive," is all Vader says, though his mental voice is both strained and curt.
What does that mean? What does that mean?! But Anakin won't ask. He can sense that Vader doesn't want to talk about it, and he thinks it might be better if he doesn't know anyway. What's most important is working on a plan for their next course of action.
**w**
In the end, they decide that Anakin and Obi-Wan will take the fastest ship to Alderaan. While they won't get there before Vader does, they'll still get there, and Vader knows to stall. He'll make excuses to slow them down. Meanwhile, Custos will leave from his location on Serenno towards Alderaan as well. It'll be hours before they get there, and he can't tolerate the waiting. Patience may have never been his strongest point, unlike in his elder, but this is simply unbearable. It's so much worse than usual when he knows that his son is there and hurting.
He doesn't know what's happened with Vader beyond what Anakin told them, his expression grim and deeply troubled. And Custos can't help but get the feeling that it's worse than he's letting on. Which he understands. He does. They can't afford to be distracted, and they all need to keep level heads if they are to prevail against Sidious while rescuing Vader and Ahsoka and keeping them alive.
But at the same time… if Vader is suffering, Custos will as well. It's only natural. He can feel Vader's pain, distant and out of reach, and all he can do is sit in the cockpit of the ship, fretting, and wishing that he could arrive at his destination faster, while his son is suffering. He hates that.
He gets to Alderaan shortly after Anakin and Obi-Wan, and though he doesn't know exactly when they arrived, he imagines it can't have been that long before he himself did. But that's not what he's focusing on. He's focusing on the presence of his son. He can feel Vader on the planet below, Force signature seething with darkness. Whatever has happened to him while he was with Sidious was traumatic enough and hard enough that he's lost the control which he so painstakingly mastered.
Custos' heart is pounding as he finally guides the shuttle down to the landing platform he was directed to. He spoke with Anakin and Obi-Wan on the way down, and apparently, Vader is having the stormtroopers who came with him search for evidence of the Organas' guilt which will provide proof to the Senate. Since all such evidence is well-hidden, to say the least, it's taking them a long time to find something. Custos has to admit that it's a good stalling tactic.
He enters the backdoor of the building which isn't far from the Palace, reaching out with the Force to sense Anakin and Obi-Wan elsewhere inside. Vader is, as well, and Custos nudges their bond gently in greeting. He feels a wave of relief, and Vader's Force signature begins to move towards him, so he waits there. When he sees his son again, he would rather they both be alone.
When Vader steps into the room, there's a moment where they both freeze, taking one another in, and Custos feels a familiar surge of relief and fierce protectiveness mingled with an aching sorrow. Vader looks exhausted, and his eyes, which are glinting gold, are haunted. And they always have been, he supposes, ever since they were captured by the Sith, but this is new. This is something that just happened, and it's still raw.
"Vader," he murmurs, stepping forwards.
A wounded sound escapes from Vader, and in a few quick strides, he's across the room and wrapping his arms around Custos, clinging to him desperately. "You're safe now, dear one," Custos whispers to him, holding him tightly, and stroking one hand through his hair as he buries his face into Custos' shoulder. "You're safe now," he repeats, because he knows that he needs to say that, to remind his son of it.
Inwardly, he's being consumed by a blinding fury and hate that Sidious did this to Vader, that the Sith hurt his child so badly. Vader might be safe, but he's not okay; he won't be okay until Ahsoka has been rescued and Sidious is dead. And even then, the nightmares will haunt him ceaselessly, just like before. And Custos hates that his son has had to go through all this a second time, especially when he couldn't be there to support him.
"He tortured her," Vader croaks out, voice trembling, though he doesn't cry. "He – he tortured her. I couldn't stop him, couldn't save her. I couldn't betray everything we'd fought for like that. But – but –"
Custos lets out a quiet breath, holding Vader tighter. He won't offer useless platitudes to him – he deserves better – but he can offer the truth. "We'll rescue her," he promises softly. "We have allies. We can make a plan. We can get her back. And we'll make Sidious pay for it." Even as he talks, he doesn't stop touching his son soothingly, lightly stroking his back and giving him the silent assurance that he's there.
He sends confidence, which isn't entirely genuine, and affection through their bond, hoping that it will be enough to help Vader calm down. Though he would like nothing more than to take a few hours to offer Vader assurances, he knows that they don't have that time, not when every second counts and Ahsoka is still a prisoner.
"I – I don't… I can't – I can't stop seeing it, again and again and again. And it's just like last time. I couldn't stop him then, and I couldn't now either." I was helpless, Vader doesn't add, but Custos knows how much that aspect of his imprisonment is tormenting him.
"None of this is your fault," he assures him firmly. "You were only doing what you thought was best. So was Ahsoka. You both knew the risks, and you've won, because Sidious didn't break you. He hurt you, yes, and that hurt will take time to heal, but I'll help you every step of the way, little one. You don't have to deal with this alone."
Vader lets out a shuddering sob, fingers clenching in Custos' clothes, his arms tightening around him to the point of painful, but Custos doesn't say a word. He knows how much his son needs this moment to keep himself together, to keep himself from shattering, and if nothing else, Custos can at least give him this.
But fate hates them. It definitely, absolutely hates them.
Custos feels Anakin's hurried approach before he enters the room, and Vader reluctantly lets go of him, turning to face the elder when the door opens. "I just received word that a massive, spherical starship with an unknown purpose has exited hyperspace," Anakin tells them grimly. "We have no idea what it's here for, but I have a bad feeling about it."
And now that he actually focuses and reaches out with the Force, Custos realizes that he can sense it, too. There's a heavy sense of dread permeating the currents of the Force.
Vader pales significantly. "It – I – we thought it was just a rumor, but I think I know what it is. It's called the Death Star, and it's a planet killer. If it's here, it's because Sidious plans to kill us all." His voice is quiet, but there's no mistaking the underlying fear to his words.
Anakin looks – and feels – shaken, and truly, Custos imagines that he does as well. He recovers his voice first. "We won't go down without a fight," he replies. "We still have time. We need to get up there and destroy that thing. Somehow. The Force will be with us." And it will be. It has to be. Because it's not yet time for them, any of them, to die. Of that, Custos is certain.
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