A.N. And here's a chapter for all you night owls

"Kazuma, I need to talk to you."

"E- Chris, yeah what's up?"

On his way back home from the guild, it was Chris of all people who stopped him outside.

"There's some things I've been meaning to say but, either you were busy or I didn't have the time, with my other duties."

'Hoh? Is this it? Has my popularity rating finally gotten high enough?'

"You need to listen to what I say, and actually listen."

"Oh I'm listening alright, so go on, I'm all ears."

"No Kazuma, it's not at all what you're thinking. In fact it's the opposite."

'Eh?'

Kazuma only gave her a dumb blank look in response. His hopes crushed.

"You need to start thinking about where your situation is going to take you."

"Huh? My situation?"

"Kazuma, when I first learned what happened to you, I wasn't sure what to think. I was rather fond of you, you know. You had your flaws, but a good person underneath. And then, you were turned into this."

Kazuma could feel the distaste dripping from her last word.

"I wanted to tell myself that you were still the same, and so I went about and acted like everyone else. They were afraid and confused at first, but slowly you won them over. Well, a lot of the girls still don't like you, but that's besides the point."

'So much for my popularity'

"And then I saw a glimpse of it at the trial. That possible future creeping up on you. And then you brought yourself back from the dead. Everyday, the aspects of what you've become erode away at what you were. I can't keep blinding myself to what you are."

"Wait, now hold up. I don't mean no offense, but how would you know that? I made a big mistake and I hated myself for it. But I mean, I think I've been doing just fine recently."

"For how long? All I ask is that you hold a conscious effort to make sure you're not letting this change affect who you are."

'It sounds like she just has no faith in me!'

"Yeah well, I'll be real careful."

"This isn't a joke. As your power grows, who knows what else about you will change. Us gods have seen it before. Good humans being turned into demons. Don't let that be you Kazuma. I promised to protect my people no matter what."

'Is she- is she threatening me? What the hell is this?'

"Is there anything else you wanted to say?"

"No, that was it. Just, keep it in mind okay?"

Kazuma didn't say another word, he turned around and made his way back to the mansion, deep in thought all the while.

'Where did THAT come from? I mean, I guess that explains why she's been avoiding me for a while. I think I saw her at the trial last, not counting when I died. But still, why was that so tense?'

Eris is a goddess, remember how Aqua treated Wiz when they first met?

'Good point, so you're saying she just needs time to warm up to me?'

Hmm, Is it not possible that Eris has a far less forgiving view of undead than Aqua?

'Pfft, yeah I'll believe that when I see it'

You just did

'That's different, me and Aqua spent a lot of time together when we first came here. We shared drinks, slept together in a stable. She knows me the best of anyone here. It only makes sense that she might be a bit more open to it. I just hope Chris, Eris, whatever, doesn't turn into some nagging mom every time I do something she doesn't like'

You should hope that's the worst it comes to

'Yeah whatever. Like she'd actually try to hurt me, I know self control, it's not like it was before'

Yes, self control is what you are best at

'I don't care what some old bastard thinks, I gotta hurry home anyway, Megumin wanted to go for a ride again'

"Alright, all for banning explosion?"

"What!?"

Kazuma and the girls sat dejectedly at their usual spot in the guild. Having both completed and failed their latest quest. A rather simple one, a horde of goblins had taken over a prominent silver mine. Go inside and clear them out.

Though reduced to the role of a pack mule, Megumin got too excited at a "closely contained group of many smaller enemies" and caused a cave in, nearly killing the party and effectively sealing off further silver mining until excavation efforts can be made.

"Just listen to what the guild has to say."

Kazuma shut up and let the adventurers do the talking for him.

"Did you hear some psycho destroyed the silver mine?"

"What a waste, I hope this doesn't affect Axel's economy."

"All those miners will be without a job!"

"At least Tuna season is coming!"

Megumin felt more and more embarrassed the more the guild shamed her efforts. In her mind however, she felt it was unfair to blame her, anyone would have done the same had they been as superior as to have the explosion spell.

"Hey! At least I killed all the goblins!"

"Are you- are you crazy!? We have to pay for the ENTIRE excavation process! If we weren't swimming in cash right now, we'd be in debt!"

"Well it's a good thing we're not in debt are we!?"

"That's not the point you idiot! All you had to do, was follow the damn party Megumin! That's it! Just carry our shit and wait! I can handle a bajillion goblins no sweat! But noOOoo! You had to jump in front of me and go 'MY MADNESS BECKONS ME!' and nearly kill us all!"

"Kazuma, don't you think you're being too harsh?" Darkness said.

"Don't even get me started on you."

Even Megumin and Aqua had to agree, giving Darkness matching glares.

"H-hey! Why are all of you looking at me like that!?"

"You went off about how goblins are legendary for their brutality and treatment of women, then stormed off in an effort to get captured. ARE YOU TRYING TO GET RAPED WOMAN!?"

"N-no!"

"Why are you hesitating on a question like that!? Ohhhh this party man."

'The past two weeks weren't going that bad, and all of a sudden they had to remind me that they enjoy pissing me off!'

"Look at him, yelling at the girls in his party."

"Remember the other day? The little girl was eating and he reached over and bit her! How disgusting!"

"Hero or not, a vampire will always be a vampire."

'I know I should be glad and all that I don't have a mob forming against me every night, but come on man, this is NOTHING like those stories where every girl has a crush on the vampire dude! What a rip off!'

As Kazuma silently monologued over his lack of love, the doors to the guild slammed open. The one responsible was none other than Yunyun, who began storming in the party's direction.

"Woah, you alright Yunyun?"

"Kazuma I- I want to have your baby!"

"What!?"

Megumin slammed her hands on the table.

'Now this is EXACTLY like those vampire stories! Hollywood you never fail me!'

"I don't know what's gotten into you Yunyun, but there's no way you can just barge right in and ask someone to have a baby with you!"

Megumin poked and prodded at Yunyun's face like she was testing a mimic.

"B-but I-"

"Megumin is right! Besides, think about the consequences of tying yourself down to a man like that. His lecherous activities know no limits."

"How am I the lecherous one! You don't see me trying to throw my virginity to a bunch of goblins!"

"You foul thing! Stop scratching me!"

While Kazuma and the girls argued amongst each other, Aqua fought her own battle against the all powerful and demonic Chomusuke.

"Need I remind you of that time you turned into a group of bats, just so you could get multiple angles of my body in the bath with your hungry vampiric eyes."

Darkness blushed as the memory flooded back in.

"Okay not fair, technically I was in there first and you walked in. Not my fault you didn't notice me on the ceiling right away."

"Point is, you can't have Kazuma's baby. As your friend, I'm giving you that piece of advice, so snap out of it!"

Megumin throttled her teary eyed friend.

"But if me and Kazuma don't have a baby, then, then the space princess, she'll return, and then-"

"Space princess?"

"Wait, who the hell is the space princess?" Kazuma asked.

"That's the name our village adopted for Dev. Since they didn't actually know her name I guess."

'What kind of name is space princess? And why space? From the depiction I saw, she was more like a school girl'

"Heh, I see how it is. You're here to ask for my help in saving the world, and you've decided to offer your love to ensure I don't turn into an evil vampire lord. Not bad, not bad at all."

'Why do I feel so, disinterested?'

Effect four

'Huh?'

"You're already trying to save the world! We go on quest every day! So Yunyun's offer is null and void!"

"But Megumin! If I don't have his baby, it will be the end of the crimson demons!"

Everyone present, sans Aqua, let out a collective "huh?"

"Enjoy the tea!"

"Ah…thank you?"

Aqua had placed a cup of water in front of Yunyun, who decided not to touch it.

"Okay Yunyun, tell us what's been going on."

"These arrived this morning, they're from my father."

Megumin was passed a couple of letters.

"By the time you receive this letter, I, your father, will be…dead. What!?"

'Ohhh crap'

"He says that the remnants of the space princess', er Dev's forces are attacking the village!"

'Oh crap oh crap oh crap! Did we wait too long!? It was only two weeks! Wait, no it makes perfect sense. After killing Hanz, the Tyrant king must have doubled down and gave Sylvia more forces to work with!'

"And then the next page. Our oracle foretold the destruction of the village. But that they saw a sliver of hope in the sole survivor, Yunyun! How are you the sole survivor? I'm still here!"

"Keep reading!"

Megumin grumbled to herself.

"In a town of beginning adventurers, she will meet a man who she will take to be her husband. He is a power hungry and blood thirsty deviant of the night, who will use you as his sustenance for eternity."

"Huh? I'm not a deviant! That better not had been the deciding factor to make you think this was me!"

"However in exchange for being his bride until the end of time, the conjoined powers of vampire and crimson demon, will result in the most powerful being to walk the planet. He will grow to master the powers of both the night, and destruction. It is he who will one day avenge his clan and defeat the Tyrant for good!"

'They know he's called the Tyrant? Not even the capital's higher ups should know that, given what Sena told me about their lack of information'

"That prophesy won't work at all for me! Kazuma! There's no way I'm waiting for your little brat to beat the Tyrant! I need to go home already!"

"Aqua? Surely you do not actually believe such a story?" Darkness asked.

"Our village's oracle is never wrong. I'm sorry!"

Yunyun lowered her head, sensing the issues the girls had with this revelation.

"Yeah well, I've had a goddess try and tell me what's possible before and I proved her wrong."

"What are you talking about? When did this happen?"

'Not you idiot'

"That's the spirit Kazuma! Do not let this prophesy nonsense overwhelm your strong carnal desires!"

"Shut up Lalatina!"

Megumin read the fine print at the bottom while a crusader and vampire battled to the death in the background.

"Hmm, says here that this is 'Twilight of the crimson demon clan: chapter one'...by Arue."

"AAAAAAAGGGHH!"

Darkness and Kazuma stopped wrestling to stare as Yunyun suddenly grabbed the letters and crumpled them up dramatically, before cowering into a fetal position.

"The hell is her problem?"

"Arue is one of our classmates. She wrote all that nonsense since she wants to be a writer someday."

"So it was all just real life fanfiction?" Kazuma asked.

'Pfft, I may have been big into anime and manga, but at least I didn't write fanfiction'

"Not all of it, the first page really is written by her dad. The crimson demons used to be the most dangerous of the devil king's enemies. After he was slain and the war seemingly ended, nothing happened until the attempted invasion. I guess the Tyrant decided to wait till now to try again."

"Megumin, how can you be so calm, are your friends and family not in danger?" Darkness asked.

"I have my doubts. If they failed the first time, I don't see what can change so much in just a couple years. Besides, even if the village meets their end, their memory will live on in Yunyun."

"Shut up edgelord, we're going tomorrow."

"Huh!?"

"You will!?" Yunyun, asked, pleasantly surprised.

"If your village is in trouble, it's common sense to go and save it right? Darkness, Aqua?"

"Leave it to Kazuma, for all his extreme character flaws and massive disrespect for privacy, he is dependable where it counts."

Darkness said this as if she did not blatantly insult him.

"Gee, thanks."

"That's the way Kazuma! The faster we take down the Tyrant, the faster I get to go back home!"

"Then I guess it's settled. Yunyun, meet us at Wiz's shop tomorrow, cause we're gonna save your village!"

'Oh crap I hope it's not already destroyed, my bad people! My baaaaad!'

"Can't sleep?"

Kazuma, who had messed up his sleep schedule, wasn't surprised to see Megumin out on the balcony with him. They had long gotten used to being out at night alone. At first it started with mostly hunting monsters, whether outside the city walls around town, or around their campsite when off on quest.

After coming back from Arcanletia, they had spent a couple days here and there taking advantage of Kazuma's meager flight ability to watch the town from the skies. Something they both were fond of doing.

"I just wanted to say thank you."

"Hm? For what?"

"You know, helping Yunyun. Heh, she's so helpless sometimes, did you see how worried she was? As if the village was actually in trouble. So I just wanted to say thanks for going along with this whole silly thing."

"I know I'm not the smartest guy in town, but I'm not as dense as a shonen protagonist. If you're scared too, just say it."

"I am not!"

"Megumin, it's perfectly okay to be worried. That's your family right? We'll make sure everything is okay, just like every time before. Hell, we're on a roll."

Megumin wanted to continue to hold up her stoic veneer, but it was obvious the farce wasn't holding up.

"Yeah…Oh and, thanks for not jumping at Yunyun's stupid, silly offer earlier. I know that took a lot of restraint for a guy like you."

"Huh? What is that supposed to mean?"

"Don't make me spell it. We all know how you can be. I thought you would have wanted her like that if given the choice."

Kazuma wanted to retort out of annoyance, but it hit him, she was right.

'Why didn't I jump at it? I'm still a virgin, and a beautiful girl basically threw herself at me. I was barely even interested at all. Oh no! My libido! Don't tell me my libido is being eaten away by the vampirism!"

"Megumin, quick! Take off your clothes it's an emergency!"

"Goodnight Kazuma."

"Of course I'll teleport you guys! I have a marker not too far from the crimson demon village."

Wiz looked as lively as ever. As alive as someone could with deathly pale skin anyway.

"Thanks Wiz, the kid here's been bugging me to go home."

"Wha! Shut up! And why are you pointing only at me!? Yunyun is literally my age!"

"WELL WELL! Look at this wonderfully wacky range of characters! If it isn't the vampire who has his empty head rented out, the perverted crusader who's only use is as bait, the disgustingly smelly priest, the silly little mage who refuses to learn useful spells, and the friendless, spineless walking sob story! Welcome!"

Four out of five of the band of adventurers looked like they were ready to perform an exorcism on the masked demon that just insulted them.

"I was hoping I would be able to meet up with you again, the contract we agreed on is ready for your perusal!"

"Huh? Oh yeah. So we agreed on a few hundred million right?"

"That's right my little tycoon, however there is one small detail that still needs working out."

"Oh?"

"There isn't any craftsman I know of who have the skills to build your inventions."

"It's always something isn't it?"

Crash

"WHY YOU! Foul priest! Watch your clumsy little fingers!"

"CLUMSY!? That's no way to talk to a customer!

"WIZ! GET THESE PEOPLE OUT MY STORE!"

"W-what the hell is running towards us?"

After being teleported away, it was Kazuma who was the first to speak after spotting a miniature army of monstrously femenine humanoid beast. They were charging at the group from afar like a stampede of wild animals.

"Those are orcs! Kazuma! You should run! If they catch you they'll-"

"Vampire's domain: field of the dead."

Kazuma watched without a change in his expression as the dozens of rushing orc women were mercilessly speared on the spikes that seemed to appear from nowhere. Each one drained of their life essence as they went limp.

"Uh, Kazuma?"

"Yo?"

"Maybe we could have found a way to drive them off, they are neighbors to the crimson demon village Afterall."

"That so Yunyun? Damn, my bad."

If there was even a hint of guilt in him, they couldn't tell.

"Don't be so naïve Yunyun, orc women are known to rape male travelers to death." Megumin said.

"Hey! Over heerz! I thought I'z heard some voicez from this direction!"

From a nearby brush, a group of lesser demons, kitted out in armor and simple weaponry, approached the party.

"Oh no! The space princess' forces are here!"

"Yunyun please…please call her Dev. I can't take that name seriously."

Kazuma noted that there was a larger group than this hiding in wait within the surrounding tree lines.

"Lookah what we gotz ere boyz! Some Crimson demon girliez!"

"Lookah what we got here Megumin, target practice."

"Well said my vampiric fellow!"

Megumin smiled at being given the green light she needed. Especially since he was so ticked off at her for messing things up yesterday.

"Wait Megumin! You can't! Not this close!"

"Crimson Jericho!"

As Darkness and Aqua hit the deck, and Yunyun attempted to stop the spell, Kazuma pulled out an ability he had saved just for a moment like this. A simple yet effective skill that raised thick fleshy walls in a circular shape.

"EXPLOSION!"

The area shook with extreme force, even from within the walls they were forced to shield their faces as debris and smoke poured in.

"Is everyone okay?"

Darkness was the first to open her eyes when the walls dissipated. While internally disappointed she didn't get hit, she was appreciative at the safety of the others. However, it seemed the spell wasn't aimed correctly.

"Everyone, be on guard! They're getting up!" She said.

"Holy crap that was scary! But lookz like youz missed! Hahaha!"

"You missed? How did you miss!? 50!"

"What! Only 50!?"

"You have to actually kill your target if you only get one shot! By the way a whole bunch of them are coming this way."

"Thatz right humanz! Backup is herez!"

"Whatever. Vampire's Doma-"

Kazuma stopped his spell when four human sized pillars of mana took form. The telltale sign of teleportation. In their wake, four similarly dressed people appeared.

'What the hell, each one of them is far stronger than either Megumin or Yunyun'

"Burn away into nothing, as my heart's abyss consumes you in its black flames!"

"Let my ice trap you into an eternity of sleep!"

"My corrosion will melt you down to the bone!"

"So stand there and perish!"

They each used light of saber.

'...well that was anti climactic. Still, if this is what just four of them can do, no wonder they actually beat a general'

"We saw the explosion and came as fast as we could, but what are you two doing here?"

"We received the letter…from the chief? The one that said the village was in danger."

"...eh?"

"..."

"Who are these people? Your fellow companions Megumin?"

"Y-yeah."

"Understood…I am Bukkororii! The son of the greatest cobbler in the village! An Arch wizard who possesses mastery over advanced magic!"

'This is exactly what I expected, but to be honest? Way better than: PLEASE JOIN THE AXIS CHURCH! Besides, I've always wanted to do this'

Kazuma, keeping a mental image of Megumin, flared his vampiric cloak, and let some of his aura loose for effect.

"I am Kazuma Satou! The vampire of Axel, and the most powerful user of blood magic!"

'This is cool cause I'm strong right? Right?'

"Woah! An outsider who can properly introduce themselves! That's a first! Megumin, your friend here is cool!"

'RIGHT!'

After being teleported to the village, Kazuma had all his expectations completely smashed to bits. He was expecting neon colors, nonsensical architecture and edgy decorations out the ass. Instead it was a fairly comfy place that screamed cottage core.

And it definitely didn't look like a place that was under threat of being destroyed. Speaking of which.

"Uh, dad, say again?"

"Haha! That letter was just an update!"

"An update? The letter said you guys couldn't break their defenses!" Kazuma said.

"That? Yeah sure, we found the base they set up, but some of the villagers were thinking about turning it into a shrine to the Space Princess!"

"I think I'm going to have an aneurysm. Oi, is the 'Space Princess' here?"

"Nope. A shame I know, we tried sealing her away last time to make her a tourist attraction, but she used wormhole magic and got away."

'Tourist attraction!? What kind of- aw forget it. Wormhole magic though, I'll have to remember that'

"There is another general though, a strong magic user."

It, it can't be

"Uhh, what do they look like?"

"Tall, red hair. You might get a glimpse of her soon."

'Oh right, they don't know about the change in hierarchy. Maybe this can be our opportunity to deal with her like a speed runner!'

'This is…too much'

Kazuma and the girls watched as an entire army of over one thousand demons were played with like dominos. Toppled over and ragdolled by an array of spells, some as large as Tokyo skyscrapers.

"Is that a fire tornado!? I hope I never have to be on the receiving end of that."

"Cool right!? Oh the tourist are gonna love this little light show we put on!"

'Little?'

Kazuma began to truly realize just how powerful of a clan they were. The former generals were seen as some of the most dangerous enemies in the land. Each with a high bounty numbering in the millions. And yet not a single one seemed to be on the level of what they were witnessing. Verdia was technically just an undead swordsman. And Hanz, while large, was beaten by just a few good spells.

And here they watched as common villagers spammed lightning bolts the size of the damn Taipei 101.

"Hey, the battle with the um, Space Princess, how did that go?"

"Oh you should have seen it! Nearly everything was destroyed! It was amazing!"

"Ah."

"And then when she busted out the laser grids, and turned the sky black, oh and don't forget all the massive alien worms she sicked on us!"

"Ah"

'Heyyyy Sanguineeee buddyyy. The life of a merchant is perfect for us, and here's why'

"Seeing actual crimson demons in action. I don't think I'll ever forget it."

"Actual crimson demons? You wanna rephrase that?"

Megumin gave him a dose of her ear pulling attack, which he ignored.

"Oh hey, I didn't know you had horses Megumin."

Aqua pointed at what looked to be a sizeable wooden stable.

"We don't have horses, that's where we live."

"O-oh, I see."

Kazuma approached and gave a light knock on the door. What opened on the other side instantly melted all of their hearts.

"Hi there! You must be Megumin's little sister! I'm Kazuma."

The tiny girl who watched them, looked almost like a carbon copy of Megumin if she were a toddler.

"Hey Komekko. Were you good while I was gone?"

"Komekko eh?"

"HhhhhhhHEY DAD! MEGUMIN IS HERE AND SHE SNAGGED HERSELF A MAN!"

Megumin let her whole body go limp.

"Zzzzz…zzzzz"

"OH NO! DON'T EVEN TRY IT!"

'SHE FREAKING DID IT!'

Kazuma found himself in a position he thought he would never have the displeasure of having to be in. The dreaded 'meet the parents' moment.

'I'm not even dating her! So how did it come to this!? And how did she get away with falling asleep!?'

While Aqua showed Komekko and Darkness some of her tricks, Kazuma fell under the full force of Megumin's scarily faced father, Hyoizaburoo. Who now was under the assumption that his daughter 'snagged' him.

"Ahem. So tell me boy, what is the nature of your relationship with my daughter?"

'He already asked me this!'

"Sir, I already said, we're just frie-"

"AAAAGH! GET ME THE GARLIC!"

"HONEY WE DON'T HAVE GARLIC! YOU KNOW WE CAN'T AFFORD FRESH PRODUCE! NOW STOP OR YOU'RE GONNA BREAK THE TABLE!"

"Alright, I've cooled down. But I don't like being lied to, so I'd appreciate some honesty. You keep saying you're her friend when it is obvious you're trying to deceive me."

"Um, I brought some treats?"

They both attempted to grab it. which turned into an intense mental battle...for box dumplings.

'What the hell? Megumin told me once that she's been sending her family a big portion of all Eris she makes. Yeah the billion we have is sort of a group fund that we try not to mess with, but each of us individually should have over a hundred mil aside from that!'

"Hey um, have you guy's happened to receive any money in the mail? Like a courier perhaps?"

"Money? In the mail? Sorry master Kazuma, but we've received no such thing."

Hyoizaburoo made sure to add 'master' to his name this time.

Kazuma took out the rest of his snacks and slid them on over.

"Please take everything."

'Okay, I'm definitely looking into that when we get back'

"...Welcome to our home young man! Honey, fetch the good tea! Our guest deserves the best!"

"You seem like such a nice young man. I think Megumin is very lucky to know you. I'm sure when you've done enough quest to save up some money, you'll make a fine husband!"

Megumin's mom, Yuiyui, spoke as if there was nothing wrong with that sentence.

"H- hu HUSBAND!? We're just friends! I already said that!"

"But, the letters we've received say quite different."

'What!? They received letters but not-'

"Wait, what the heck is she writing in those letters?"

The two parents shared a look.

"Haha, well…some of her older letters detail how you would leave her covered with sticky goo. And that whenever she's unable to move you like to carry her in a manner so that you touch her inner thigh the entire time and her chest is pressed against you. She's also told us how you take baths together quite regularly. And how after you became a vampire, you would use your powers to put her to sleep and sneak glances up her skirt, or turn into a bat to hide in her room and watch her when she undresses…"

"Gah! Ah! I-"

Hyoizaburoo raised his hand to stop him.

"Calm down. There's more."

'There's more!?'

"Despite all of that, she also says how you're the closest person to her in her life, and how she cherishes you more than anyone else. That even though you're a pervert with a sailors tongue, you've had many incredible moments together. Like how you showed her what a city looks like from the sky, or how you went out with her every day to keep her company so she can use explosion. She also says that without her, she feels that you would let your misgivings about yourself take over."

'Wow…that's genuinely…'

"So if my daughter sees you that highly, you must be special indeed."

'I knew that we were close, I'm not dumb. But to hear that out loud, she cherishes me?'

"Of course since you're in the same party, if you ever need help with things like food and supplies we'll uh…we'll do our best to help!"

She hesitated greatly to finish that sentence.

"What has Megumin told you guys about our financial situation?"

"Nothing in particular. Only that you work hard every day doing quest. It must be difficult, the life of an adventurer."

"Um, mam. I'm a billionaire."

"B- B-"

"BILLIONAIRE!?"

'Uh oh…I think I know why she failed to mention that'

"HEY KAZUMA! SPEND THE NIGHT WHY DON'T YOU!? YOU ARE MY DAUGHTER'S BO- GOOD FRIEND RIGHT!? YOU ADVENTURER TYPES RARELY GET TO HAVE YOUR OWN ROOMS!"

"Well actually I own a mansion."

'That one was on purpose'

'Megumin must have known that if they had the whole picture from the start, they would have never seen me in a fair light. But still, how are her letters making it, but not the money? Courier services are protected by the kingdom. Only high ranking officials could get away with something like that, and even then, who would steal from US?'

Kazuma finished getting dressed after his bath, and began making his way into the kitchen before he overheard an argument, and decided to remain hidden.

"Do you not care for your daughter!? You're sending a beautiful mouse to a lair of a vicious cat!"

'That's darkness' voice'

With what he could ascertain, it seemed like everyone else was fast asleep…in the middle of the kitchen. Darkness currently was in some sort of disagreement with Yuiyui.

"Now now Darkness, they already have been living together have they not? And she is of marriageable age! And it isn't like Kazuma is a bad young man by any means! And so, as a parent, it is out of my hands."

'What are they arguing about? And why does she keep mentioning marriage!?'

"By the way Darkness."

Yuiyui's face turned into something a bit twisted.

"It doesn't bother you, does it? The idea of them sleeping together?"

'So that's what this is about? She wants me to sleep with Megumin!? Wait, like sleep sleep or like, sleeeeep?'

"Are you trying to say I'm jealous? How could I be jealous, refrain from saying something like that!"

"My apologies, but in the end, someone has to sleep with Kazuma or it will be too cramped in the other room you see."

Darkness smiled brightly, going as far as to blush and lick her lips.

"Then let me sleep with him! I can handle and resist all of his lustful desires! Or no, actually, it's very possible I would succumb to them entirely! He's been without an outlet for his lust for so long! So let me do it! I can-"

"Sleep."

She tapped Darkness on the nose, and like those Kazuma himself would target, she fell over like a sack of bricks.

'All that stuff she just said…did she just admit that she wants to have sex with me!?'

"Kazuma."

"Aiee!"

"Would you help me carry these sleepy heads to their rooms?"

"Yes mam! Right away!"

"Thanks for the help, I just knew you were a dear. Now, everyone is very tired. More than usual, which means that they probably wouldn't wake up even if you, for some reason, were to make a lot of noise in here. Enjoy yourselves!"

She shut the door.

'Noise? M- make a lot of noise? Enjoy ourselves? Megumin and I are a couple of cow's in minecraft, and brother…we've just been given wheat'