My chest felt heavy, I wanted to breathe but I couldn't. My back ached, and as I observed my surroundings I noticed I was laying on a metal table. I heard distant humming and what sounded like metal being rubbed against metal. Armes refusing to move from my sides, and legs feeling as though they were detached from my body. I closed my eyes and tried to imagine being anywhere else.Oh please no.

The humming grew louder and I felt someone press the palm of their hand to my forehead. The touch was gentle and it was almost like the loving gesture of a parent to comfort a sick child.

"Oh, Collette." The soft voice whispered. His voice, empathetic and sorrowful. "I know you're not asleep." The smile was evident in his voice. My heart rate quickened as I began to try to thrash around to no avail. "Oh sweet angel," he sang. "You are so much more trouble than the others were, you remind me so much of him sometimes." I felt something pinch the skin on my neck, it burned for a moment. But after the object was removed the spot on my skin was left feeling slightly sore. "I promise you won't feel a thing, you will just go to sleep for a little while, okay." He paused, and my already weak body grew tired. "Don't worry, I'm sure you'll go to wherever you people believe you go. Maybe you'll come back as something nice dear, like a butterfly." He moved his hand from my forehead to my cheek. His soft skin almost felt comforting, almost. "I'll be back, dear, then I'll have to write to your father. I'll tell him that you muddled up a spell you were trying to teach yourself. I think he will be upset, but we all knew you would get yourself killed eventually." Tears welling up in my eyes, I tried to scream, but no sound escaped. I fought to open my eyes, I wanted to escape this memory. My eyes shot open and I I gasped as I sat up straight. Still in my bed. I saw what looked like a giant spider crawling on the wall, but within seconds it disappeared. The shadows of my bedroom formed horrifying expressions, and although the room was cold I was sweating.

"Collette," I looked over to see my brother standing in the doorway. I jumped out of bed and ran to hug him.

"Matt," I sobbed, I wrapped my arms around him in an attempt to keep him with me. That was when I noticed what he was carrying. "What's that for?"

"Oh," Matt glanced down at his preferred weapon, a hockey stick with barbed wire wrapped around it. "You were screaming bloody murder. Thought someone or something may have broken in, or you conjured another demon."

"Thanks Matt," I felt very childish, Matt was clearly done hugging me. One of his arms fell to his side and the other rested on my messy hair. I didn't want to be alone though. Throughout most of my life I was always with someone. Someone always, in some shape or form, took care of me. If I was to live on my own I wouldn't know what to do. There was no way I'd be going back to sleep.

"Cole."

"Yeah?"

"Let me go." I let go of Matt and apologized quietly. He rolled his eyes and walked away.

"I'm never getting back to sleep." He mumbled as I followed Matt to his room.

"Are you working tomorrow?"

"Yep."

"That sucks." I jumped onto Matt's bed and put my arms behind my head. Closing my eyes I sighed and tried to fall asleep. I could hear Matt sitting on the other side, he was reading something. "What are you reading?"

"None of your business." I opened one eye and tried to see what he was reading.

"You finished that book about the girl who fell in love with a stable boy?"

"Yep."

"So this is-"

"Cole, shut the hell up."

"Fine," I crossed my arms and turned to my side. Trying to get some sleep, I wished I could read romance novels like Matt did. It was his secret that only I knew about, and he made sure that I knew that if I told anyone he'd end my existence. I was more into mysteries and horror novels, but that didn't mean that I wasn't a romantic like Matt. I often thought of the perfect person for me. Once I was sure I knew who she was. Shade was everything to me once, but our lives went in different directions.

All I ever wanted was a happily ever after. In books the princesses were saved by handsome princes, then they made my favorite fairytale into a movie. It was in color, and the main character was so beautiful. For a long time I wanted to be like that. Paper white skin was something I only dreamt of. My hair was always messy, I couldn't help it, and somehow I never managed to shed any weight. No matter what I ate or how much I exercised I always had so much fat on my body. Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I had agreed to be put in a coma. Would I dream? Would I dream of a world that was perfect, a world in which I was perfect. I could have my prince charming and live carefree. My children would never have to worry about anything. No injustices, no A-bombs, no genocides.

Sometimes I wondered if I would be happier. I would be happier in my mind than in reality. But I knew what would eventually happen. I'd eventually be woken up and forced to fight in a war I don't want to be a part of. No matter what ideals they were fighting for or against. Because that was the deal I would have made. I was too dangerous to be set free so I would be forced to sleep until someone, preferably Matt's friends, needed my help. The worst part was that Oliver had agreed to it and he wanted me to agree.

That night as I laid with my back facing my still awake brother, I dream of what my life could have been.