Thanks to everyone who had followed and reviewed. Here is another long chapter to compensate for the delay in updating. Hope you enjoy.
Response to reviews:
Andrena Bui: through Yukito's words in the previous chapter, I meant that the realization that he cannot be with Tomoyo due to his funny situation with his dual forms even though he loves her and she loves him could be very painful for Yue. Yes, I admire idealistic characters, and I tend to write about characters which can canonically be portrayed in that way. Thanks for your love towards TomoYue. Hope you enjoy the remainder of their story.
Wonderbabe: the problem with her relationship is that Tomoyo is also TouYuki shipper, lol! More about Tomoyo's otou-san in this chapter. Tomoyo's father being absent is mostly just an anime trope, where they pass of any unnecessary parental character as the dead or missing parent. But it is just my headcanon that what if Tomoyo's mother having armed bodyguards was more than just show off that she could afford them? It is certainly not normal for owners of big companies to move around with bodyguards in almost any part of the world. What if something bad happened earlier to Sonomi's family which necessitated having such precautions?
You would not find the English lyrics of the song in the previous chapter on the internet, as I translated them from the original language (actually my native language) which I am sure you are not familiar with. There is no English version of that song. I might have tried sending you a link to the original one over DM, but since your review is as a guest user, I am not sure how to make it more accessible. Those songs are very rich with emotions, and yet subtle, and I plan to use a few more in subsequent chapters. Hope you like this one and share your thoughts.
When Yue reached the station with Tomoyo, the faint light had almost disappeared from the late afternoon sky, and the mercury had dropped by a few degrees. The train that they were scheduled to take did not arrive on time, causing a lot of commotion on the platform and confusion amongst the passengers who waited to board it. It was indeed an unusual event for a country which prided itself on keeping its trains on time to cater to the needs of its busy population. An announcement followed a few moments later. There was a landslide outside the town which had blocked the train's tracks, and due to risks of further landslides due to the oncoming winter storm, the trains in that route were being canceled till next morning.
Tomoyo paled visibly when she heard the announcement. "The storm was not supposed to start until tomorrow," she muttered.
"It has advanced more rapidly than predicted and has also strengthened. They are expecting heavy snowfall through the night," Yue said, his intense gaze fixed on the screen of his phone.
Tomoyo was not a person who panicked easily, and in fact she was the type of person who had a backup plan for everything. However, this time, the discouraging report seemed to make her anxious. "What should we do, Yue-san?" she looked at the moon guardian helplessly. She seemed to be both cold and tired, as her shoulders slouched and she rubbed the top of her hands with her fingers in an attempt to keep them warm.
"Let's find a warmer place to decide that," Yue suggested, noting the young girl's actions. Tomoyo nodded and followed him outside the station. Feathery light flakes of snow had already started to descend from the sky. They crossed the street, and Yue led Tomoyo to a cheerful café on the other side, decorated with bright colors and holiday lights. As they entered, brushing the powdery white crystals from their clothes, Yue noticed that Tomoyo's wavy dark hair was sprinkled with sparkling snow flakes. The sight looked mesmerizing to him like the midnight sky scattered with countless white stars.
Tomoyo looked up from dusting the collar of her woolen coat at that moment to catch an enchanted expression in Yue-san's eyes for the second time that day. She had seen that expression numerous times although there was hardly a time such an expression was directed at her. It sent a tremor to her heart. "Yue-san," she called.
Yue hastily extended his hand and glided it over her head, brushing away the snow from her hair, and along with it the silly simile from his mind. "Sit here," he directed her towards a cozy corner and proceeded towards the counter. Tomoyo settled down on a soft couch. She placed her arm on the table and lowered her head on it. A television screen in the café broadcasted the news on the approaching storm, warning people to take shelter by evening. The rational part of Tomoyo's mind knew that it would be difficult to return home that night, but she did not want to accept that possibility just yet.
Yue returned to Tomoyo's side holding a drink in his hand. He placed it before the girl silently. Tomoyo wrapped her cold fingers around the lidded paper container, grateful for the warmth it offered. She took a sip expecting it to be coffee, but found the delightful taste of hot chocolate on her tongue. "Arigato, Yue-san," she said. Her phone placed on the table buzzed with the arrival of a text message at that point. Congratulations! Just heard of the contest results from a school friend who goes to another college. And sorry about earlier - her club president had texted her.
"Looks like Katsuo senpai kept his word," Tomoyo turned the screen of the phone towards Yue to show him.
"That's hardly a sincere apology for the disagreeable behavior that this individual subjected you to," Yue remarked with a quick glance at the text. Before Tomoyo had a chance to respond, the phone buzzed again in her hand. "And it seems he cannot refrain from making flippant remarks," he added.
Tomoyo turned the phone towards her screen to read the latest message from the same sender that Yue had already read before her. PS: I didn't know you had such an intimidating boyfriend, it said, followed by a scared emoji. Tomoyo sighed. "Well, it seems at least he won't ask me to go out with him now," she said.
"Daidouji-san, has that sort of thing been a frequent annoyance to you?" Yue asked out of genuine concern for his friend.
Tomoyo shook her head. "Not really. It has happened a few times. But it is not a matter of annoyance, Yue-san. I really feel bad for turning them down. The thought that my actions make another person unhappy is not pleasant, irrespective of the circumstance. I would like to avoid that feeling as much as possible," Tomoyo said.
"You cannot ensure every other person's happiness," Yue said.
"I know, but I also know that if I was turned down by someone who I liked then I would feel the same sadness, even if I understood that it was not their fault," Tomoyo replied.
Yue turned his face to the side, drawing his eyes away from her face. He understood all too well what she was talking about. While Tomoyo was never vocal about her feelings for him, she did not exactly try to hide the fact that she cared for him either. Her gift conveyed the message even more clearly, but all Yue had done till then was to avoid the subject. He could not blame her if she interpreted it as a rejection of her feelings, and he started to feel that he was getting the bitter taste of rejecting someone that she was talking about. In any case, it was a dangerous conversation to have, so Yue turned his focus on the phone in his hand. "Daidouji-san, I think it won't be possible to reach Tomoeda until tomorrow morning," he informed Tomoyo after minutes of browsing the internet.
"What about road transportation?" Tomoyo asked.
"There were already landslides on some segments of the road that run through the countryside a week ago. I doubt anyone would risk driving those roads amidst a storm," Yue responded.
"Naruhodo," Tomoyo nodded. Train was the principal mode of transport from Tomoeda to Tokyo, and the alternative roadway took a lot more time, and part of it ran through a hilly terrain. If they were preemptively suspending the operation of the trains to avoid risk of accidents or getting stuck in landslides during the storm, the roads were unlikely to be much better. "I can't believe we are stuck like this!" she said with a distressed look.
"Daidouji-san, do you have a friend or relative living here in Tokyo, at whose place you can stay until tomorrow morning?" Yue asked calmly.
"None," Tomoyo said. She continued speaking after a brief pause. "But we have a house here in Tokyo, though it is in another part of the city. My mother stays there once in a while whenever she's in town to attend business meetings and conferences. I had come with her a few times earlier."
"Do you have a key for the place?" Yue asked.
Tomoyo shook her head. "No need. We have housekeeping staff who reside at the property." she answered.
Yue seemed a little relieved. He should have known. He probably would not be surprised if Tomoyo's family had a house, complete with housekeeping staff in every major Japanese city. "Then I shall see you to your temporary accomodation," Yue said.
"What do you mean by that? Where would you stay?" Tomoyo asked.
"I will return home," Yue simply stated.
"How?" Tomoyo asked. "You just checked that no means of transportation will be available until tomorrow," she continued. "Unless you are planning to fly all the way," she added with consternation.
"It will be alright," Yue stated.
"Absolutely not. I can't let you go like that. Yue-san, please stay at our house in the city. Let's go back home together tomorrow," Tomoyo pleaded.
"Daidouji-san, you cannot invite someone to live at your house without the permission of your parent," Yue said.
Tomoyo's head shot up. "Yue-san, I am not a child, so please stop treating me like one," she said sharply. "What kind of person, iie , what kind of friend would I be if I let you fly back through a blizzard. Do you think that I will sleep peacefully knowing that you are out there?" she exclaimed.
"Don't be unreasonable, I am not susceptible to adverse weather conditions," Yue replied.
"You are the one who is being difficult here," Tomoyo said. "I am only staying in the city if you are staying too. If you insist on flying back amidst the storm, then I will also go with you. That's final," she crossed her arms over her chest in exasperation and looked away from him.
Yue clasped his forehead with his hand, his fingers brushing back his silver bangs. None of them spoke for a while. "Daidouji-san, you are not a child, but you are not an independent adult either," he said after a few moments. "The property that you mentioned belongs to your mother, and I do not wish to trespass. If you are so adamant that I should stay there, let me talk to your mother first," he suggested.
Tomoyo stared blankly at the unexpected suggestion. "My mother?" she asked.
Yue nodded. "You have to agree that you will accept whatever she decides on the matter. No further arguments," he said with a strict glare.
Tomoyo sighed hopelessly and opened her mother's contact information on her phone, pushing it towards Yue-san in an exasperated gesture. It was very frustrating that he made the matter unnecessarily complicated. She knew that her mother did not trust 'the strange silver haired boy' who her daughter befriended. It was not that Tomoyo planned to keep the matter hidden from her mother. She thought she would call her later and explain their situation once they settled down at the house. Having Yue-san ask her himself might feel strange to her, since they had not even met or spoken before. But then she reflected upon the fact that Yue-san had lived the major part of his existence in a different era, when social norms and customs were quite different from the present time. His mannerisms resembled that of a somewhat snooty but genuine young man from a bygone era. People had different values and principles back in the days, and as such, the formalities that he insisted upon so resolutely might be important to him, even if they seem unnecessary to others.
With quick fingers Yue copied the number to his phone and left his seat. Tomoyo saw him walk outside probably to catch a better signal reception. Okaa-san, please don't be mad, she silently prayed.
Sonomi was in Osaka on a business trip. She was beyond surprised when she received a call from Yue. She had heard about the winter storm looming over Tokyo and its surrounding areas, and was about to call her daughter to check on her, as she concluded the last meeting for the day. Apparently, the situation was worse than she had expected. Yue calmly explained to her the situation. Sonomi took her time to think for a while before responding. "Yue-kun, I will be honest with you. I have no reason to trust you at all, since I don't know you in person, and apparently, you have forbidden Tomoyo from telling me anything that would help me to know and understand you better. However, that girl trusts you completely, I don't want to be a monster who turns away my daughter's friend from my doorstep on a stormy night. So, if you consider yourself worthy of Tomoyo's trust, you are welcome to stay," she told him,
"I understand. I will not make Daidouji-san regret her trust," Yue said. He disconnected the call and went back inside the café. "We are going there," he told Tomoyo, much to the relief of the girl.
When they reached the house owned by the Daidouji family in Tokyo, the tips of Tomoyo's fingers were freezing. Yue observed with some relief that this house was not a mansion like Tomoyo's residence in Tomoeda. It was a two storied pretty house that was located in a nice neighborhood. "Irrashai, Tomoyo-chan. Sonomi-san had called ahead to let us know that you and your friend will be staying," a middle aged lady housekeeper informed them as she opened the door for them. She was about to say something else, but stopped when her eyes fell upon Yue, evidently surprised by the splendor of the young man's appearance.
"Thank you for having us this evening. We are in a fix due to the weather related train cancellations. Oh, and this is Yue-san," Tomoyo bowed. Yue followed the gesture, though his eyes remained distant and cold.
"Always glad to have you here, Tomoyo-chan," the lady said kindly. "Please make yourself at home, Yue-san," she added.
Tomoyo walked into the living room, and sat down on the couch closest to the heater, extending her hands towards the warm air that the appliance emitted. Yue simply took off his coat, and sat down on another couch, still looking somewhat uneasy.
"Would you care for some tea or would you like to have dinner directly?" The lady asked them.
"Just dinner, but only for me. Yue-san is on an intermittent fasting routine," Tomoyo said quickly. She did not want to put Yue-san through the trouble and questions related to eating and food again.
"Fasting? But surely, one needs some calories, especially in such cold weather. No wonder he is so skinny," the lady did not look pleased or convinced. She also seemed quite candid for a housekeeper. Probably an old employee who knew the family well.
"Actually, Yue-san was quite chubby as a child. It took him a lot of effort to lose weight, and that's why he is strict about his diet now," Tomoyo said with a grin.
"Young people are so self conscious nowadays," the lady smiled this time. "Fine, I will tell the kitchen staff to serve dinner. Please make yourselves comfortable until then," she added.
When the housekeeper left the room, Yue gave her a mock glare. "You seem to be quite adept in making up stories spontaneously," he said.
Tomoyo moved to sit next to her friend gracefully. "If you have magical friends you automatically acquire that skill," she said casually. "I don't blame anyone for trying to feed you. You are actually skinny," she giggled, wrapping her fingers around his wrist to show the point. She felt his muscles tense, the veins popping underneath the surface of pale skin of his forearm, that was exposed by the sleeves rolled up at his elbows. She wondered how a being created by magic could be such a perfect imitation of an actual human.
"I wonder what it is like to be a chubby child," Yue said thoughtfully.
"Do you regret that you never got to experience childhood, Yue-san?" Tomoyo asked in a more serious tone.
"My other form has that regret," Yue said. "Due to this situation, it looks like I cannot return to my other form tonight as I was supposed to," he continued.
"I am sure Tsukishiro-san will understand. I will personally apologize to him later," Tomoyo said. "Let me show you to a room you can use for the night before they call me for dinner," she added.
Later that night, Tomoyo was standing before a mirror in the room which belonged to her parents. Her mother used that room whenever she stayed there, and the few times Tomoyo had visited earlier, she had stayed in the guest room. Now, she had given the guest room to Yue-san, and opted to use her mother's room instead. She looked at herself in the mirror and pulled at the shoulder of the calf length dress that she was wearing, trying to adjust it on herself. It was one of her Sonomi's old maternity dresses from the time when she still resided in that house with her husband and infant daughter. It seemed that her mother had put on a little weight after giving birth to her, so obviously, the dress did not fit Tomoyo's slender figure well. Still, she was thankful to have a change of clothes that she could use to sleep for the night.
Sighing, Tomoyo went back to the wardrobe to check if she could find something that would fit her better. However, the other dresses that her mother had left there seemed to be of the same size as the one that she had initially picked - all maternity clothes. She was about to close the wardrobe when her eyes fell on a flat box at the bottom. She pulled out the box and slowly opened it in the hope it contained some of her mothers older garments that she used before she had a child. There was a pretty black shawl with violet and white embroidery. Kirei! Tomoyo exclaimed as she picked up the shawl, her fingers already appreciating the rich texture of its fabric. There were two smaller things at the base of the box. A pretty brooch with a gemstone that matched both Tomoyo and Sonomi's eye color. There was also a handwritten note. Tomoyo picked it up and unfolded it. Happy anniversary, Sonomi-san, please don't be angry anymore. On the back of the note there was a doodle of an angry cat, with its ears perked and fangs bared, most likely drawn to represent Sonomi's aggressive demeanor. Tomoyo smiled softly. She had no doubt that it was written by her father. Probably, her mother had a fight with him before one of their anniversaries. She went back to the mirror with the objects she found and draped the shawl around her shoulders, securing its ends with the brooch. Although the rooms were heated, the additional layer of warmth provided by the shawl felt nice. Much better, she smiled at her reflection in the mirror, her fingers brushing over the smooth surface of the violet stone that sat at the base of her neck.
While closing the wardrobe, Tomoyo's eyes caught another object that was stowed away behind the box that contained the shawl. The object turned out to be a photo album on inspection. Tomoyo sat on the bed, and flipped through the pages of the album casually. It was full of pictures of her parents, mostly taken on different vacations and business trips. On the back of each photograph her father had written the date and the place where it was taken. She could tell that the couple was happy with each other, despite the fact that Sonomi wore a scowl on her face in many of the pictures. She also observed that her father had doodled on the back of some of the photos as well. At the back of one of the pictures where Sonomi looked particularly grumpy, he had doodled that cat again, with a smile on its face, holding a string tied to a balloon in one of its paws and giving a thumbs up with its other paw. Sonomi-san should smile more - like this, he had written beneath it. There was another doodle of a weasel or mongoose-like creature, and the word idiot written underneath with an arrow pointing to it. That must have been her mother's reply. The man who was snatched away from Tomoyo's life by the grim reaper before she had a chance to even know him seemed to have had a great sense of humor. Tomoyo had never seen this album before. Sonomi mostly kept her father's memories out of her reach and away from their daily lives. The faces of her parents got happier in the pictures where Sonomi seemed to be expecting a child. Then there was a photo where Sonomi held her newborn daughter, looking at her husband with an expression of relief, happiness and love. Our little Tomoyo-chan - welcome home! I hope your cuteness will make Sonomi-san smile more from now on, her father had scribbled at the back. A few more photos of the proud new parents with their baby daughter followed. At the end of the album, there was a single loose photograph that was not inserted in the corresponding flap. In that picture, her father sat before a large piano, holding a baby version of herself in his arms. His face was blissfully happy as he looked at his daughter. He played the instrument very well, from what she had heard. Her mother was not in the picture. Tomoyo turned the paper of the photograph. The date was written in a corner, on the reverse side and going by it, it could have been the last photograph of her father that was taken before his untimely death. Her mother might have been the one to take the photo. There were some scribbles on the back too. Tomoyo saw that her father had neatly doodled a baby bunny surrounded by some flowers. I can't wait to see you grow up, Tomoyo-chan. Your okaa-san and I will always be with you, he had written beneath it. Then there were Sonomi's angry words: you lied, you jerk! Where are you now? Tomoyo's eyes filled with tears. Her mother must have written these after his death, and amidst her grief and anger, she may not have cared to replace the photo back in its flap. Tomoyo closed the album and kept it back where she had found it. However, she took that last photo of her father and placed it inside her bag. She then called her mother.
"Okaa-san, hope you had a pleasant day," Tomoyo said when she picked up the phone. "Guess what, I won the competition," she added.
"Omedetou, Tomoyo-chan. Well done! It seems that this Yue boy is lucky for you," Sonomi said lightly.
"Thanks for letting him stay," Tomoyo said softly.
"It is very strange," her mother said after taking a short pause. "I expected him to be a bratty young fellow. It surprised me that he actually talked like a responsible gentleman," she stated.
"Oh, Yue-san is very responsible. It is just that he is cold and surly sometimes," Tomoyo said.
"I didn't say that I trust him though," Sonomi said. "Speaking of which, where is he now?" Sonomi asked.
"I suppose he is resting in the other room. I told him to use the guest room," Tomoyo said. "Okaa-san, I was looking at some of the old photographs of you and father," she changed the subject, hoping to get some information this time.
"I wouldn't look at them for too long if I were you," Sonomi said after a moment of silence.
"Why?" Tomoyo questioned.
"Because he was the sort of man one could not help but miss, and the less you know about him, the less you would miss him. As a baby, you were very attached to that idiot used to sing you lullabies and rock you to sleep every night. He had an amazing voice. You had cried inconsolably when he did not return home that night or on the nights that followed. I did not want you to feel that emptiness within you as you grew up, Tomoyo-chan," Sonomi reasoned.
"Otou-san pampered you a lot, ne okaa-san? it is evident from the photos," Tomoyo said with a chuckle to lighten her mother's dark mood. "How did you confess, I wonder?"
"And why do you wonder? Are you planning to confess to someone soon?" Sonomi asked.
"No, I am not. The photos just made me curious," Tomoyo asserted. "Wait, you didn't tell Yue-san anything, did you?" She asked in alarm.
"Of course not," Sonomi said. The older lady took a deep breath before answering her young daughter's question. "It was when I realized that the fool had given up on a profitable business deal so that I could get it for the company I was with at that time. I walked straight into his office and yelled at him for being an absolute moron. He only smiled that stupid, all knowing smile that he had and told me that he knew how important success was to me, and that he did not consider it worth breaking my heart for profit. Then, I yelled at him again, saying that he was more important to me than any success or profit," she paused.
"That's kind of cool, I suppose. Okaa-san, you liked picking fights with him didn't you?" Tomoyo laughed.
"His selflessness was annoying as hell," Sonomi huffed. "Anyway, Tomoyo-chan, even if it sounds cool, don't try to do something similar if you have to tell Yue about your feelings. I was kind of stupid then, and it is not really a good way. Besides, it does not suit your personality. Oyasumi," she hung up the phone, probably embarrassed by what she said. The young girl sighed. She really hoped that one day, her mother would tell her more about her father.
Tomoyo walked out to the covered deck at the back of the house, enclosed with glass walls on three sides. The winter storm had picked up pace, and it was snowing heavily outside. A lone figure clad in white stood near the edge of the deck, arms crossed on his chest, sharp blue eyes looking out to the backyard that was quickly filling up with snow.
"Not sleeping yet, Yue-san?" Tomoyo walked over and stood beside him.
"You aren't either," Yue remarked without turning to look at her.
"I will soon," Tomoyo said. "It is snowing so much. I am glad that we are not caught outdoors amidst this terrible storm," she added. As expected, there was no verbal response from her companion.
"Yue-san," Tomoyo slowly raised her hand to gingerly touch his forearm for a moment before drawing it back. "I am really sorry if my mother said something harsh to you on the phone," she said.
Yue turned his face to look at the girl beside him. "I understood the concern that she has as a parent. After all, I am no one but a stranger to her," he told her.
Tomoyo smiled at the small reassurance. "Okaa-san is actually a nice person. It is just that she worries a lot and doesn't trust people right away due to what happened to my father many years ago," she said.
Yue kept quiet. He had never heard anything about the incident, but he was not one to prod others about their lives. But it seemed that Tomoyo had more to say. "My parents used to reside in this house once, until my father died. Actually, was he who had named me Tomoyo," she smiled.
"It suits you," Yue said quietly.
Tomoyo's smile brightened. "The funny thing is when my parents met, they were in rival companies. My father's company was not as big at that time, and Oka-san held a significant amount of shares in a larger company. She was also part of its board of directors. That company wished to buy Daidouji Toys seeing it as a potential competitor, but otou-san refused, as he had his own vision for the company he inherited. I don't know how it progressed from there, as okaa-san doesn't like to talk much about it. I guess, somehow, they fell in love to the chagrin of the people who ran the larger company. They made it difficult for okaa-san to continue working there, so after her marriage, she pulled out her wealth from there, and invested it into Daidouji Toys corporation. As a young entrepreneur, she also helped my father to grow the company. It is speculated that the rival company got jealous of the success, and my father's car crashed into a lake outside the town one evening. But the post-mortem report suggested the cause of death not as drowning, but as a sharp blow to the head with a blunt weapon. But they did not find many clues, and no one was eventually convicted," Tomoyo paused, breathing a little heavier. "I suppose they hoped that okaa-san would be too heartbroken and weak to run the company after losing her husband, and sell it off to them, but thankfully, that never happened," she finished her account.
Yue contemplated the words he heard. He then understood why a car crash was the first thing that came to Tomoyo's mind when she heard that her mother was in the hospital on that occasion. "I hope that I am not boring you Yue-san. I am just telling you so that you can understand why okaa-san behaved in the way that she did. I was just short of a year old when otou-san died. Even though I don't remember those days, I know how hard they were for okaa-san. So, even if her words felt hurtful to you, please forgive her," Tomoyo entreated him.
"Your mother trusted your judgment enough to let me stay in her house. She said everything in your best interests. That's all that matters to me," Yue said slowly. He had never heard Tomoyo speak about her dead father to Sakura, Yukito or anyone else. Probably, it was not easy for the young girl either.
"Arigatou, Yue-san," Tomoyo said. "I heard that otou-san and okaa-san had received some threat messages to not proceed with some business deals earlier that year. Okaa-san advised my father to hire bodyguards for his safety, but he did not listen when there was still time. He seemed to think that those were empty threats. I heard from our old employees that otou-san was at home earlier that evening, playing with me. when one of his friends called him out of town over the phone, claiming that he had an injury and needed help to go to the hospital. Otou-san drove out of town fearlessly and all by himself, but he never returned. He probably could not imagine that his friend could be one of them. Okaa-san is still angry with otou-san for leaving his family like that. Sadly, she stopped trusting most people after that," Tomoyo said.
"So that's why your cars are always accompanied by security personnel," Yue muttered.
Tomoyo smiled a little. "I try to reassure her that nothing will happen, but she tells me that I shouldn't be a fool like otou-san. I had to accept it just to give her that peace of mind," she explained.
"It is difficult, Yue-san," Tomoyo continued in a contemplative voice. "It is outright unfair when a person who means so much to someone just disappears from their life like that. That's why okaa-san tried to lock away all her memories of my father, and left this house after that accident. Living here must have been so painful to her," Tomoyo's head was lowered as she spoke. "Yue-san, you would not disappear too one day, right?" she asked in a quieter voice.
Yue's eyes widened. Tomoyo could not possibly know about his plan, could she? Yukito did not tell her, so could it be Touya? Or was it just her all knowing intuition that is making her say such a thing? "I had promised Touya that Sakura and Yukito will live, no matter what happens," Yue said dryly after a longer pause.
"I know," Tomoyo replied quietly. "I am asking about you," she lifted her head and looked at Yue's face with the shimmer of unshed tears in her deep violet eyes.
"Daidouji-san, you do not have to concern yourself with such useless thoughts," Yue said, his voice taking on a colder note. However, it did not deter Tomoyo.
"But I don't want you to disappear," Tomoyo surprised him by moving closer until her forehead touched his chest. Yue tried to step back, but her hands came up and gripped the silk fabric of his robe at his arms. "I don't want you to return to the five elements, Yue-san. I want you to stay, always," tears fell from her eyes and she stifled a sob. "Forever."
Yue was at a loss for words. Tomoyo was crying, making no effort to hide her tears or her emotions. It was not the first time. The young girl had cried in his arms twice before. On those occasions, he had no reservation in holding her close and silently comforting her. However, it was different this time. She was crying because of him, because of her feelings for him. Comforting her now would mean acknowledging those feelings. Yue felt numb. He could feel the slight tremor of her sobs against his chest, and the tickle from her ends of her long hair that fell on his arms as she lowered her head, unbraided and left completely loose. The soft scent of her perfume filled his senses. The flowery-fruity scent that characterized Tomoyo overwhelmed his mind.
"Yue-san, I –, " Tomoyo was about to speak again.
"Daidouji-san, I think you should go to your room," with great difficulty Yue found his voice back to stop Tomoyo in the middle of her speech.
The words took a moment to sink in, and then Tomoyo realized. Yue-san had not pulled her closer even though she was crying. Neither did he push her away. It suddenly seemed that she was embracing a column of ice instead of a person. With a jerk, she lifted her head from the young man's chest and took a step backwards. She was moments away from giving her heart to him. The smallest caress of his slender finger, the smallest movement of his arm to draw her closer, the smallest sign that he was ready for this, and she would have laid her feelings bare before him. However, Yue-san stood still as a statue. Either oblivious, or in denial of his own feelings. He did not want to hear her concern. He did not want her heart. Tomoyo wiped her tears with the back of her hand. "You are right," she mumbled. She felt like an idiot for giving in to her emotions. Technically, Yue-san did not reject her. Yet, it felt like a severe blow to her self esteem that he was not even ready to hear her out and acknowledge the fact that she could have developed feelings for him. Her jaws tightened. Never again, she vowed. With a curt nod, and a short goodnight, she left the deck.
The moment she was gone, Yue clenched his fist in frustration. He wanted to take away Tomoyo's unhappiness. Instead, he became the cause of her grief. Damn you Clow Reed, damn you to hell, Yue cursed through gritted teeth. For the first time in his life, he actually blamed his creator for the miserable situation he found himself in. Earlier, even when he heard Touya vent out his anger and frustration at Clow for Yukito's situation, he used to tell himself that Clow must have had a plan. But at that moment it seemed no grand plan was worth hurting the feelings of an innocent and wonderful person like Tomoyo. This young girl had almost healed the wound left by Clow in his heart through her warmth and compassion. Yet, he gave her nothing in return apart from cruel aloofness. The fierce winds of the storm battered the glass walls of the deck with snow, but Yue's mind was more restless than the weather outside.
The snow storm had passed by the next morning, but the sky had not cleared. Lighter showers of snow were forecasted for the later part of the day. When Tomoyo and Yue left the house together in the morning, Yue noticed that his companion's eyes were redder and puffier than usual. She was silent and looked somewhat listless. She almost slipped on the black ice that formed on the pavement overnight. Yue was quick to act, catching her waist with one hand, and her hand with his other. "Your hands are very cold," he said as he helped her regain her balance. The tips of her fingers were had actually turned red from the cold.
"And yours aren't," Tomoyo responded, as she broke the contact.
"That's because I'm -," Yue started.
"Not a human. Yes, I know," Tomoyo looked down at her feet. She seemed a bit upset and on the edge. But that was understandable. Anyone else probably would not have spoken to him if had trampled on their feelings in the same cold manner.
"Daidouji-san, would it be preferable to you if I were one?" Yue questioned, pinning her with his sharp blue stare.
Tomoyo's head snapped up as if she was shocked to hear the question. She did not reply immediately. "I do not care about what you are not. I am grateful for what you are, Yue-san," she then said firmly. The purple eyes that were dull a moment ago, glistened with a renewed spark.
The two stood face to face, searching each other's countenance for any traces of anger and resentment at the exchange that took place the night before. They found none. Instead, they saw forgiveness and compassion in each other's eyes. Tomoyo understood at that point. Yue-san refused to hear her confession, because he was protecting her heart from breaking. His silence actually saved her esteem from the indignation of a rejection. Since nothing was said ultimately, they both could go back to being friends. Yue-san probably felt just as helpless and hurt as she did. He was already broken to begin with, and Tomoyo felt petty for causing him further distress. Even if his words could never tell her, she could see how much he cared for her in those steely blue eyes. It should be enough for her.
"Then take advantage of that fact," Yue turned to continue on their way, extending his hand for Tomoyo to take. Tomoyo placed her hand between the palm and fingers of the moon guardian, allowing him to hold it. His hand felt nice and warm, almost too delicate for a man's hand, but strong nevertheless. She also brought her free hand to rest her fingers on top of his hand as she walked closely beside him, their sides pressed against each other, taking in his warmth with all ten of her fingers.
When they went to the station, they found that the regular train was still suspended due to the condition of the tracks. The only option was to take a train that took a detour through another city, and would take several hours to reach Tomoeda. Since it was a longer distance train, it needed reservation, and luckily for them, some were still available.
On their journey back to their hometown, Tomoyo sat beside Yue in a nice coach with a two by two seating layout. She had offered the window seat to Yue-san, saying that he should make the most of it, and enjoy the sight of the snowy landscape, since it was not often that he got to undertake trips like that in his own form. Tomoyo's eyes wandered around to find the passengers huddled together in the seats around them due to the unusually cold weather. There were parents and children, siblings, and couples of different ages, all trying to keep each other warm. The sight somehow made her feel colder than she already was. Yue-san had got himself an English newspaper from a vending machine at the station, and was engaged in solving the crossword puzzle in it, fiddling the pencil held between his fingers intermittently as he thought the answers, unfazed by the cold as always. She patiently waited till Yue-san had cracked the last word of the puzzle, and put away the paper and pencil. Then she leaned her head against his left shoulder, and rested her hand on his elbow.
"Don't mind me, I am still cold," Tomoyo said quietly in response to a sideways glance from the young man.
A pair of slender arms looped around her shoulders and drew her even closer. "Then you should have said sooner," the moon guardian told her. The same action which seemed so difficult for him the night before when they were alone, came so easily to him, now that they were in public. It almost seemed he wanted to be kinder as a reparation for his earlier coldness.
"You were solving the puzzle," Tomoyo said studying the handsome face so close to hers.
"It was not a necessity," Yue looked out of the window of the moving train.
Tomoyo relaxed against the young man who held her. They have not even dated for a day, and already they seemed like an old couple. At that moment, if someone assumed that the man beside her would become a caring husband to her one day, they could not be blamed. Only she knew better. Tomoyo closed her eyes. She knew very well that she was avariciously stealing these small moments from Yue-san whenever she could. The question was, how long would he allow her to continue like this, and how long would these be enough for her?
When Yue looked back from the wintry scenery outside the window a while later. Tomoyo's breathing had slowed down. It seemed she had fallen asleep. He observed her face, as pale and forlorn as the snow covered ground. Despite the puffiness of her eyes and the dryness of her lips, she was beautiful. Not the kind of beauty that dazzled like a blinding light, but one that soothed like a blooming flower. It had soothed him too, especially her deep and expressive eyes. It would have been an honor to return her feelings if it was in her power to do so. Yue looked away again. She deserved better.
When Tomoyo awoke near the end of their journey, she felt that she had not slept so well in weeks. She supposed it only made sense to sleep so well, as there was a literal angel watching over her sleep. There was something so serene about his company that no matter how sad, anxious or tired she was, she felt calm and relaxed when she was with him.
When they got off the train, Yue offered to take her home, but Tomoyo politely declined saying that she had already texted to get picked up from the station by her family car. "Yue-san, please forgive me if I said something yesterday that I shouldn't have said," Tomoyo said suddenly when they were about to go their separate ways. Yue's back was already towards her, but he turned to face the young girl. Tomoyo bowed.
Yue shook his head. "Don't apologize, Daidouji-san. However, if there were words that I should have said, but didn't then excuse my silence too," he told her. Tomoyo nodded, her eyes fogging up a little bit. No further words were needed. Both of them knew what the other meant as they took their leaves from each other with that silent understanding in their hearts.
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