Twenty minutes later they find James sitting up in a quidditch goal hoop, his broomstick stuck to the top with a charm, with back to one curve and feet kicked up on the other, eating grapes.

Sirius sits back on his broomstick nearby while Remus sits in another hoop.

"You know what's funny?" James asks casually. "You both decided to mention how you hate when I act cute."

"I didn't mean it," Sirius admits.

"Which is funny," James continues. "Because it's not meant to be cute. It's meant to be me, giving you affection because I love you. My mistake, guess I'll just stop."

"I was just talking shit the whole time," Sirius tries. "You know that, half the stuff I said to Remus didn't even make any sense."

James violently hurls the half-eaten grapes at Sirius who dodges like proper quidditch player. "Then why did you say it?! That wasn't you, snipping at Remus for holding his quill weird when that's how you hold it too - that was you trying to hurt me, trying to do damage. If you want me to stop then just fucking tell me to stop!"

"I don't!" Sirius insists. "I like it-"

"And you?" James snaps at Remus. "What about you, huh? Don't sit there quiet like you always do, like you're not a part of this."

Remus purses his lips, looking at James side on like he can't quite make himself turn to face him. "I was upset. I didn't mean any of it, I was just trying to find something to complain about."

"And you landed on me being a bully and acting so pathetic that you feel sorry enough to stick around and be my friend," James retorts.

"I didn't say that!" Remus cries, turning properly now.

"Then what did you say?" James laughs tiredly. "Tell me – it can't be worse than Sirius thinking I use him a bloody meat shield every time we get into a fight, like I haven't been his partner in crime for six bloody years now, like I wouldn't -fucking- die for him!" he screams, surging up.

"I was just saying things," Sirius admits quietly, voice scraping on the way out. "Fuck, I was just – it was a lie, I really don't think like that. I knew it would upset you the most, that's why I said it. I'll take veritaserum, I'll make a bloody unbreakable vow. I didn't mean it, James, I swear."

"I couldn't think of anything else," Remus tries. "You're funny and smart and I love every part of you so the only thing I could think of was our pranks – which I have done with you, which we all planned together, I was grasping at straws."

James' lower lips wobbles before he gets it under control.

"Did you check your head?" Remus murmurs.

"Don't talk to me about the injury you assholes caused," James snaps and touches the back of his head to make sure his own patch attempt is still working. "And what about you two, aren't you angry at each other? Like the entire bloody day?"

Sirius and Remus share a glance, unsure what the answer should be.

"Um," Remus sighs. "I mean, when Sirius wasn't making stuff up, he didn't say anything wasn't true." Remus shrugs awkwardly. "I do get grabby, and cranky around the full moons…and don't know how to dress myself properly."

"I…do kind of have dog breath sometimes," Sirius admits. "And I know I get aggressive easily, and use more Dark magic than I should."

James throws up his arms in outrage. "Oh, so you were whispering sweet nothings to each other, were you? It's just me then, I'm the problem."

"I was lying," Sirius complains. "Jamie, don't believe me when I'm like that-"

"Jamie?" James scoffs. "Oh, sorry, I thought we weren't playing cute anymore. Merlin forbid I use a nickname, or give a hug, or we talk at night in the same bed because we want to put a silencing charm up. I'll reserve all my love for Harry and – bloody Voldemort apparently."

Remus drags a hand down his face. "It's not because you act cute, it's because I think you're cute when you do it."

"Do what?" James argues. "That's everything I do, that's daily what I do – what's pissing you off?"

"I just think you're cute," Remus admits.

Sirius is staring him down.

Remus flings out an arm at James. "Is staying quiet to James now better or worse than letting him think we're annoyed at him? It-it's not even that bad."

James is looking between Remus and Sirius. "You think I'm cute? But why is it a bad thing?"

Sirius groans and drifts his broomstick away a bit as he cringes. "We were in public and, you know, to make it humiliating for you I needed to say something that the public would find embarrassing. Everyone always talks about us being weirdly too close so…"

James slumps a bit. "So it's not annoying?"

"If it was pissing me off, I would have told you," Sirius offers. "You remember back when you would sing that song but only the one line you knew?"

"You hung me out of the window by the ankle for two hours," James remembers. He slowly starts bobbing his head. "We don't talk about~"

"Do you believe us?" Sirius interrupt, hopefully. "Because we really didn't mean it."

"Yeah, fine," James grumbles. "Shit, I think I need to say sorry to bigger Sirius."

Remus blinks. "Why…?"

"Since Harry was out, I grabbed his mirror from upstairs, because I wanted to know why you would say that to me," James admits. "Bigger Sirius told me you're both horny for a threesome, so I called him a bastard and hung up. That was pretty mean of me, I think he just didn't know how bad the argument was."

Remus looks everywhere but at James. "Yeah, sure, I wouldn't worry about that though since he was definitely joking."

"True," James muses.

"Do you want to fuck in the seating towers?" Sirius blurts out.

James laughs and Sirius forces himself to laugh as well even though he's screaming on the inside.