"That depends on what those worries are, specifically. There's no all encompassing answer for that, gege."
Xie Lian sighed, having expected an answer such as this. It seemed like this king was indeed rather hard to deal with.
"Then, I will give you a few hypothetical problems", Xie Lian decided.
"Go on. But let's sit down first", Hua Cheng ordered more than suggested, so Xie Lian listened.
"First, if I told you I didn't earn enough money by dancing for you, and asked you to increase my pay several times, what would you do?"
Hua Cheng frowned.
"Gege isn't a greedy person like that. Such a scenario is beyond unlikely."
"Humor me."
Hua Cheng sighed.
"Of course I would raise your pay."
"What about the other dancers? Wouldn't that cause a disruption? With what reasoning would you justify that?", Xie Lian asked in a neutral tone.
"I'm the king, what do I need to justify myself for?", the alpha smirked.
Xie Lian gave him a look, and Hua Cheng huffed in amusement, before he answered properly.
"I'd say it's because you're my favourite, so you should get whatever you ask for."
Xie Lian just shook his head exasperatedly before he moved on.
"Second, what if, once I was set for life with all of that money, I wanted to leave this place?"
Genuine hurt flashed in Hua Cheng's eye at the thought.
"Of course I'd let you leave", he said quietly.
"And wouldn't you resent me for not just leaving, but also taking so much of your money first?"
"I would never resent you. If you left, I'd assume you were unhappy here, and I only want what makes you happy. I don't care about money, I have more than enough of it anyway."
"Would you be happy?"
"I'm happy as long as I know gege is happy."
Xie Lian sighed.
"Hua Cheng, you just proved that my worries are very legitimate."
At being called by his real name, Hua Cheng's shoulders stiffened slightly, only perceptible because Xie Lian was watching him very closely.
"You're the king of a huge country", Xie Lian continued. "You have very heavy responsibilities. You can't just let anyone you like use you like this. You need to think rationally first and foremost, before you can act on taking care of my worries. And you need to think of yourself as well. Your whole personality cannot just consist of wanting to make me -or any other person you like- happy. You have your own likes and dislikes, desires and aversions. Right now you like me, and I like you. And I understand the desire to want to make the other person happy, too. But, Hua Cheng, if you only ever do what makes me happy, but don't tell me what makes you happy…", Xie Lian broke off and sighed, before he continued.
"I'm not happy if you don't tell me what makes you happy. And I really mean you . If you like me, I don't think you would be happy if I suddenly decided to leave. Right? I know I would be sad if you suddenly didn't want to see me anymore", he admitted.
Hua Cheng lowered his head, looking properly scolded.
"What if gege's happiness would be more important to me than my own?", he then asked quietly.
"Then I would very much like to know why that is. I haven't done anything to deserve that level of-...", devotion, Xie Lian couldn't bring himself to say.
Hua Cheng just looked at him for a moment.
"You have. You really have, gege. It's because of you that I am who I am, and that I could make WuYong into the country that it is today."
"A- are you sure you got the right person?", Xie Lian asked doubtfully.
"I could never mistake gege."
"I don't remember ever doing something so great", he admitted.
"I think it really wasn't a big thing for you. But it was for me. And I think you deserve everything I could possibly give to you in return", he said so earnestly that Xie Lian couldn't doubt him.
"Then… I want to ask one thing of you. If you can do that one thing for me, I'd be happier than if you gave me anything else."
"What is it?"
"Think for yourself first, before you think of me. You have a good head on your shoulders, so use it logically. I'm just a human, San Lang. I make mistakes and stupid decisions, too. Don't you think that I'd be happier if you stopped me from making stupid decisions, instead of going along with everything I say? Don't you think I could trust you more if I had the certainty in my heart that you would prevent me from making bad mistakes, instead of encouraging me just so we wouldn't argue? Or worse, out of a false sense of obligation to support me?"
Hua Cheng still looked torn, so Xie Lian continued.
"Isn't it also good to argue sometimes? To have different opinions? We don't have to always agree on everything to keep liking each other, right? Discussing things from different viewpoints can also be quite fun, don't you think?"
Hua Cheng took another long moment before he sighed.
"Forgive me, gege, but I can't argue with you on that one", he said with a slight smile. It made Xie Lian laugh.
"It doesn't mean I want to argue with you over everything . I just want to know your real thoughts, and what you really think, regardless of what makes me happy, or what you think I want to hear."
"I can do that."
"Really? Then, let's do this again. What would you do if I asked you to raise my pay?"
"I'd raise your pay."
Xie Lian squinted his eyes at him, wondering if he'd even gotten through to him. He'd thought he had.
"And if I wanted to take that money and leave?"
"I'd lock you up in your room over there, and do all sorts of wicked things to you until you didn't want to leave anymore."
Xie Lian immediately blushed scarlet.
"San Lang!", he yelped. "Be serious!"
The king looked at him with an open expression.
"Who says I'm not serious?"
Xie Lian hid his face behind his hands.
"Gege, what sort of dirty things are you thinking?", Hua Cheng then asked in a scandalised tone, that was very obviously very fake.
"You-!", Xie Lian accused, and pointed one finger directly at Hua Cheng, using the other one to cover his whole face.
Hua Cheng laughed, but there was no mockery in it. He just sounded happy. So naturally Xie Lian couldn't stay mad.
The king gave him time to calm down, but when he did Xie Lian realised something, and looked at Hua Cheng with a challenging stare.
"Well, what were you thinking of?"
Hua Cheng smirked, refused to answer, and just didn't say anything at all for a few long moments.
"Did you just accuse me, even though you were guilty of the same crime?", Xie Lian eventually asked relentlessly. He wanted an answer.
"What crime? Neither of us commited a crime, gege", Hua Cheng kept smirking.
Xie Lian realised that the king would never admit to what he actually meant to imply, and gave up.
"Never mind then", he sighed, and decided to change the topic.
After all, Xie Lian had forgotten about a certain something with his emotions running amok and everything.
"San Lang, when I visited the market yesterday, I found something I thought would suit you. So I brought you a little present."
"A present?", Hua Cheng asked, his eye growing wide.
"It's not anything special or expensive, just a little something", Xie Lian explained, and pulled the small box he had in his sleeve out into the open, before he handed it to the king.
Hua Cheng took it, looking somewhere between confused and ecstatic.
He opened it without hesitating and his eye started twinkling the moment he saw the butterfly clasp.
"Gege! This is beautiful", he commented while taking the clasp into his hand. "You need to help me put it on."
"So you like it?", Xie Lian couldn't help but ask for reassurance while taking the clasp from him, and starting to fix it to his hair.
"I absolutely love it. But I hope you didn't feel obligated to gift me something because of the robes I gave you."
That thought hadn't even crossed Xie Lian's mind.
"No… I just had to think of you when I saw it. I don't know why, but I just thought it would really fit you", he said, and stepped back to look at the piece of jewelry adorning Hua Cheng now. "I think I was right, too."
"I'm sure you are. Thank you so much gege", Hua Cheng said, and proceeded to hug Xie Lian tightly.
Of course Xie Lian hugged him back, and laughed, just because he was so happy that Hua Cheng actually liked his gift. However, when Xie Lian tried to let go, Hua Cheng didn't make any indication to end the hug as well, which amused him even more. He stayed put in the king's arms for another while, but even then did he not make any move to separate again.
"San Lang, that's enough. It's just a hair clasp", he laughed, and finally stepped out of the embrace. It wasn't because he felt uncomfortable or anything with Hua Cheng hugging him for so long, but he was uncomfortable in the regard that it was rather hot today, and he felt more like starfishing on a cold stone floor than exchanging body heat.
"I could never have enough of hugging gege", Hua Cheng said, and looked a bit like he was pouting. Xie Lian couldn't help but shake his head fondly.
"It's too hot. We can hug again when it cools down later tonight", Xie Lian said without thinking.
Luckily, Hua Cheng only raised an eyebrow, and didn't tease him.
"We could always take another bath. The one in your room really does cool one down in weather like this."
Xie Lian thought that should be true, and agreed. Though, this time both of them thought to bring new robes to change into.
The water was indeed somewhat cool compared to the heat outside, and Xie Lian sighed in sheer bliss at finally being able to cool down a bit. Hua Cheng had joined him in the bath again, though he was strangely quiet. It took Xie Lian a while to pick up on it, since he was just enjoying the quiet, but he soon realised that it was unusual for Hua Cheng to say nothing for such a long time.
"San Lang?", he asked eventually.
"Hm?"
"Are you okay?"
"Mmhmm", Hua Cheng hummed and nodded, though he looked a bit dazed.
Xie Lian frowned and turned to the side to face him completely.
"Are you sure?", he asked, and stopped concealing his scent, knowing there was a tinge of worry in it that Hua Cheng shouldn't ignore, and take as incentive to answer at least somewhat properly.
And sure enough, Hua Cheng blinked, shook his head, and immediately looked remorseful once some clarity had come back to his eye.
"Of course. There's no need to worry."
Xie Lian still didn't believe that.
"Are you… lying to me?", he asked hesitantly. He didn't want to be pushy, but he also hated the thought of Hua Cheng not being honest with him.
Hua Cheng's eye widened in what Xie Lian thought might have been shock.
"I would never lie to gege! I was just thinking."
Xie Lian saw the sincerity in Hua Cheng's eye, and couldn't doubt him anymore. So he heaved a relieved sigh. However, now he felt bad about being pushy for no reason after all.
"San Lang-"
"Gege-", they said at the same time, and then stopped at the same time.
Xie Lian facepalmed, and Hua Cheng burst out laughing at the awkwardness of the situation. In the end, even Xie Lian had to chuckle a bit himself.
"Gege is so cute when he's flustered", Hua Cheng commented once they had calmed down, though it sent Xie Lian right back into being a flustered mess.
"S-San Lang! You can't just-", he wailed, but before he could finish his sentence, Hua Cheng had come incredibly close to him, and Xie Lian froze up.
It took him a moment to notice that Hua Cheng had only leaned towards him with his upper body, and hadn't in fact slid closer to him completely. However, it didn't change the fact that the alpha had his head so close to him, he could feel his exhales on the skin of his neck, even though he was clearly only breathing through his nose. It caused goosebumps to break out all over his body, and he felt that sensation in his gut again, the same one he'd felt back when he'd first talked to the king in the dancer's quarters.
"Sa-... San Lang…", he stammered again, because he felt too embarrassed by his bodily reaction to do anything else. He couldn't even look the alpha in the eye.
Instead of replying however, Hua Cheng inhaled deeply.
"Your scent turned so sweet just now, gege", he murmured, and, before he could properly comprehend what was happening, Hua Cheng had buried his head into Xie Lian's neck, and continued to nuzzle it.
Xie Lian had frozen up completely, not knowing what to do or think at all.
Never had an alpha ever come this close to his neck with their mouth, and therefore teeth, and while he was sure that Hua Cheng wouldn't bite him just like this, he felt much more complicated than he would have expected.
Xie Lian thought he should be feeling beyond uncomfortable, maybe even scared, or at least ready to fight. But… he didn't want to fight Hua Cheng. Even though they hadn't been close for very long, even though he still didn't know the king very well… he realised two significant things in this moment.
One, despite everything he'd said earlier, he did, in fact, already trust Hua Cheng. A lot.
Two, he wouldn't actually mind it if Hua Cheng bit him.
The second realisation was the one that terrified Xie Lian to no end. Because by having an alpha in such close proximity to his glands, his mind conveniently forgot the process of mating, and immediately jumped to bonding . Hadn't he always been the one who thought it ridiculous to make yourself so dependent on just one person? Why was he suddenly craving what he'd always used to look down upon?!
The moment the realisation manifested in his mind that he actually wanted Hua Cheng to bond with him, the terror he felt at the thought of growing dependent on somebody seeped into his scent, and just a split second later, Hua Cheng froze.
The king was off him just an instant later, looking startled, with his eye wide and his pupil dilated.
Xie Lian didn't have the time to even begin to gather his bearings, before Hua Cheng stood up abruptly, and left. Only saying "I need to be alone for a while", when he had already gotten a good distance away from Xie Lian.
As for Xie Lian himself, he couldn't do anything but stay frozen to his spot.