Authors note: Hello everyone, I know, long time no see! Well life happened, so I couldn't really put time into the story, but now I can! To forgive myself, here a long ass chapter just for you. Enjoy!
Panthera Gilt: Hey there! Long time no see ey? I'm not sure if this story still interests you by now, but I'm glad I could discuss it with you up until now! I hope everything's great on your end! I can't say anything about the mystery man yet, but your guess is pretty interesting :p Hahaha, I'm so glad you like where my Eren is heading, and trust me, you've not seen anything as of yet! I totally feel you, small moments are what I live for! Ayooo two hugs? well guess what, *triple hugs you* I don't know such thing as cringe! Please take care of yourself, and if you ever stop by, say hi!
Patjeeson: Hello hello! Who knows! I don't want to give too much Mikasa's perspectives, otherwise it would kill the story, i feel like. But fret not, she's gonna have some povs in the future!
Jtscoores: Well hello stranger! Aha yeah, I agree, he totally should teach Mikasa how to wear one, wink wink.
I hope you'll enjoy this chapter as well, good reading!
Chapter XI: Beyond the wall.
Above the wall, they stood, Pixis and his prestigious captains. The tarnishing light of the sun was behind them and they dwarfed the thousands of soldiers gathered below. The first waves of titans had been destroyed, but others were coming. The city was still emptying its people, and no plan of plugging the wall had reached their ears yet. Upon the ignorance that they faced, the ranks wavered, whispered and broke apart. Eren watched helplessly. The commander Pixis spoke to him.
"Do you see that Eren? What fear does?"
"Yes, I do." He replied, his eyes never astray from his harried comrades.
"Even the most powerful armies succumb to fear. But do you know how a leader can use advantage of that?"
Eren thought about it for a second, but his mind was elsewhere, and he couldn't comprehend the point that the commander was raising.
"No, I can't say that I do."
Pixis smiled.
"Well, you'll get there, eventually."
Eren looked at Armin, unsure of what to make of it. His friend appeared as perplexed as him, but he simply shrugged.
Suddenly, Pixis cried with a powerful and mighty voice, with such a strength that Eren's eardrums nearly burst, "Attention!"
All noise ceased, all movement stilled, and all heads looked up towards the achieved commander.
"Allow me now to explain the plan to retake Trost District! The objective of this plan is to seal the hole in the destroyed gates!" He paused a moment, letting his words sink into their minds. He then continued, "I will now explain how we intend to seal that hole!"
Gesturing at Eren, the latter revealed himself to the assembly.
"From the training corps, this is Eren Yeager! He is the product of a top-secret and confidential titan transformation research! He is capable of generating a titan's body and controlling it at will! In his titan form, he will lift the boulder in the vicinity of the front gate, carry it there and seal it accordingly! Your duty is to protect him from titans until he's successfully plugged the hole!"
"What?"
"We should trust in a titan?"
"That's obviously a lie!"
"I refuse to die here!"
"I won't be fooled by this nonsense!"
Jean heard the trainees beside him whisper amongst themselves, appalled. He still couldn't believe what he had just heard, even after he witnessed first-handedly Eren surge out of the titan's body that protected them.
The bearded man that confronted Eren and his friends earlier unveiled his sword.
"You traitors! I'll cut down every one of you! To the last man!"
"Harken to me, soldiers! Heed my command!" Pixis' voice befell them once again. "Those who desert us now will not be punished! Once a man surrenders to his fear of titans, he is no longer fit for battle! Those of you who have already experienced that fear, are free to leave! Furthermore, those of you who want your parents, siblings, and loved ones to experience that same fear, you are also free to leave!"
Legs froze in their places, a certain lucidity looming over them.
None of the gathered soldiers wanted their loved ones to see a titan, let alone face it. Or to feel the dread that abided by anyone who laid eyes upon those monsters, or the terror that seized those whom fate decided that death would be by them. They turned heel.
"Remember, my soldiers, when we lost our furthermost wall. Remember when we sent our fellow human beings to their deaths so that we would have fewer mouths to feed? We all bear this sin, all of humanity! If titans were to breach Rose, and humanity to be confined within the last wall, mankind would be the cause of its own extinction, not titans! I urge you! Die where you sand!"
Eren looked at the crowd, and he imprinted their faces into his mind. As many as he could. He was ready to fight and die for them. He was ready to be sacrificed for their sake.
He didn't know if he was able to do what the commander had asked of him, neither transforming into a titan nor sealing the gate. What he did know, however, was that he was willing to do whatever he was possibly capable of to ensure the completion of the mission.
I will become their hope, I will bear within me their fate. I will bring upon them humanity's wrath.
Eren mimicked all of his brothers and sisters in the plaza and saluted as well.
Pixis had called upon him his best captains. All awarded members of the garrison. Armin was briefing them on the plan he presented earlier to the old man.
Eren glanced over his shoulder at Mikasa. The girl was performing the last check on her equipment. She had replaced her set of blades with newer ones. His eyes lingered for a moment on her hips, and he only noticed then that she was wearing his scarf around her waist. He had completely forgotten about it, or rather, had believed it to be lost forever. As if feeling his gaze, she peeked at him. She followed his eyes, confused until she noticed that which he was eyeing. She seemed unsure of what to do, so she resumed her inspection.
"Eren, Pixis ordered me to be part of the group that'll lure the titans away, you'll be all right?"
The concerned turned to Reiner.
"Uh, yeah, I got this. You be careful okay?"
"Always, and be sure to plug that hole okay?"
They bumped fists, and Reiner smiled at him encouragingly.
Whatever doubt was left in his heart went away. Eren was afraid of how Reiner would perceive him now that he was a titan. But he concluded that nothing had changed between them. He was still Eren. And he was still Reiner.
Some time after, he spotted Armin coming his way.
"I'm sorry Eren, in the end, I made you bear all responsibility."
The young man shook his head, "remember what I told you? You have the ability to seek out the right calls. I'll gladly bet on that."
Armin placed his hand on his shoulder.
"Don't do anything rash."
Eren chuckled.
"I'll try, now go lure those bastards away."
Armin nodded, his eyes glimmering with resolve, and with a last 'be careful', he left him as he was.
Eren watched him run across the wall. This boy had entirely changed in less than a day. He didn't know what to make of it yet. He was glad that his friend was stepping up to his true potential, but he didn't wish for it to develop under such conditions, where all their lives were hanging but by a thread.
"Ackerman!" He heard one of the captains, Jan Dietrich, call out.
"Yes sir!" She hastened to reply.
"You'll be part of the elite squad guarding Eren. We need your skills," he stated. Then, without wasting any second, he ordered, "Let's go!"
Mikasa was the first to move, followed by Eren. As much as he felt safer with her around, he didn't like the idea of putting her life on the line for his sake. He didn't want any more people to die. He had to find a way to seal that gate, one way or another.
"He called you a top-secret human weapon, but closing that gate is all I care about. I'll protect you with my life. It's up to you!" Jan suddenly spoke.
"Sir!"
"To think we have to entrust the fate of mankind to a spoiled brat like you…" Mitabi mumbled.
"That's enough! We're approaching the route to the boulder. From the looks of it, there are no titans yet. Seems like everyone is successfully luring them off."
Eren followed Jan's gaze. The small courtyard where the rock rested seemed clear all right. The weight of his duty crushed his heart the more they approached the target. He wanted to puke. He closed his eyes in an attempt to compose himself. Probably taking notice of his state, Riko spoke to him.
"Let me tell you something, Yeager. In all likelihood, no small amount of soldiers will lose their lives executing this plan. All for your sake." She glanced at him, "They're our fellow comrades, seniors and juniors. Naturally, as soldiers, we're all prepared to die anytime, but just so you know, they're not some ignorant pawns. They have names, families, and all the emotions associated with them. Alyosha, Dominic, Phine, Isabel, Ludwig, Martina, Guido, Hans… They're all humans with blood flowing through their veins. There are also some whom I've been with since my Training corps days. Today many of them… Will likely die for your sake. You, on the other hand, have the responsibility to prevent their sacrifices from being wasted. Carve that reality into your candid heart, and fulfil your duty with your life."
The young man nodded. He understood. He'd already tormented himself about that. Nevertheless, there was no harm in reminding him of what was at stake. This was a real war, one they gaged for survival. For the right to live in this twisted world. Mikasa was looking at him as well. She seemed hesitant as if she wanted to add something, but whatever she wanted to say never left her mouth.
He looked ahead, and Pixis' words resonated in his head. For the first time in ages, humanity had a chance to strike back and land its first victorious blow at them.
"Go now, move fast!"
"Ma'am!"
Eren jumped off the edge of the wall, and with the elite force about him, he made his way toward the boulder. Never did he manoeuvre with such haste, and it took him all his focus to evade the buildings. He heard Riko firing the flare gun she was entrusted, signalling the successful start of the mission. Soon enough, they reached their destination, and Eren transformed.
His roar pierced the air, and emerging from the smoke, Eren rushed to the boulder side. Jan's squad and Mitabi's landed on several roofs, whilst Mikasa landed closer, aspiring to obtain a better position to defend the titan if the need arose. She looked around, making sure that no enemy dwelled within the area, and as she was about to turn toward Eren, she managed to dodge a giant fist coming her way.
"Ackerman!" Jan shouted.
She crashed into a smaller roof. Wood, glass and tiles flew everywhere, one of them hit her below the right eye, leaving an outline of blood on her wound. She regained her spirit just in time to evade another blow.
With her gear, she impaled her wires on Eren's shoulders and propelled herself so she'd land on his face.
"Eren! Snap out of it! We need you!" She cried, hoping her voice would reach him.
"Oi! Ackerman, that's enough! Get away from him!"
"Remember who you are! Remember why you're here! Eren!"
Riko observed the scene sternly. She wasn't expecting much in the beginning, but she entertained still a faint hope. She shouldn't have. She looked at her hand and scoffed. She had already taken the red carboy out of its hilt. With a sigh, she fired it, and a chain of red smoke flew high in the air, signalling the failure of the mission.
Jan noticed Eren's fists clutching, preparing for another blow.
"Ackerman! Get away! Now!"
With a groan, she obliged. The titan's fists landed on his face, and he fell backwards as a result of the momentum he ignited.
"What's his deal? He's just another stupid titan!" Mitabi grumbled.
Fuck… Mikasa thought. Why shouldn't the plan go smoothly for once? why should they always be handicapped by something? What should she do?
"Squad leader Jan! Two approaching from the front! A 10-meter and a 6-meter!"
"Another at the rear! A 12-meter!"
"Jan, we have to retreat! Sealing the gate is the least of Yeager's worries, there's nothing left we can do!" Mitabi spoke.
"Aye, we have to abandon him, give the order!" Riko urged him.
Mikasa's blood boiled. They were ready to abandon him at the first sign of trouble. She clutched the hilt of her swords. Eyes raging, she looked at the squad leader, awaiting his decision.
"What're you waiting for? It's not your fault! It was a faulty plan in the beginning! It was worth a shot and we gave it! We have to retreat back to the wall!"
Mikasa couldn't take it anymore. All her frustration fuelled her movements, and without thinking, she sprung toward Mitabi Jarnach. She wasn't sure what she was about to do, but she didn't have time to figure it out as Jan stopped her.
"Wait! Calm down, all of you! Riko's squad, take care of the 12-meter at the rear, Mitabi-"
"What?" Riko protested.
"Mitabi's squad and mine will take care of the other two." He repeated.
"Are you completely mad?"
"I'm the one who was appointed as leader! Shut up and obey!"
"Are you willing to sacrifice our lives for the boy?"
"Precisely. No matter how you look at it, this boy has the potential to be humanity's key to salvation. We are replaceable, he isn't. Make your mind at peace about it and do your duty! It doesn't matter if I have to sacrifice every soldier's life, I will without any second thoughts! Until Yeager can recover and seal that gate, we have to protect him, no matter the cost!"
"Are you serious?!"
"What other options do we have, Riko? Tell me! How else can we hope to defeat the Titans? Tell me now and I'll order our retreat!"
Riko looked down, irritated.
"I can't tell you how! I don't know!"
"That's why we have no choice but to do this! We can only lay down our lives, as brave sacrifices for that faulty human weapon." He looked at Mitabi, "Tragic, isn't it? But it's the only thing left for us humans to do. This is the only struggle we're capable of!"
"I can't accept that…"
"Riko!"
"But I'll obey your command. I agree with what you said… I'll struggle, and I'll show them how fearsome mankind can be! Dying in vain is the last thing I'll accept!"
Jan smiled.
"So live, Riko, Mitabi, live! Let us live, to watch with our own eyes how bright our future can be!"
Riko turned around, and with a resolute voice she spoke, "I'll take care of the 12-meter, leave the rear to us!"
Mitabi nodded.
"Let's go, Jan."
"Right away."
He watched his friend rejoin his squad and glanced at Mikasa who closed the distance.
"Thank you, squad leader Jan."
"Don't thank me yet. And to be honest, I was afraid of what you'd do. I'm sure you're able to kill us all in an instant."
"I'm- sorry…"
"Don't be, the life of your love was at stake-"
Mikasa frowned, and she stammered a little.
"He- he's not, he's a friend…"
"Whatever he is, I entrust his close protection to you, I leave you free will to act how you see fit, it'll be better this way, stay strong, Ackerman!"
"Sir!"
And with that, he departed.
She turned to face Eren. His body lay there, with steam spewing out of his wounds. His jaw was dislocated and his hands were torn off.
Huh…
He wasn't healing.
Was it because of before? Will he ever be able to turn back to normal?
She closed her eyes. There was no need for her to torment her soul with questions she didn't have the answers to. She had to focus on doing her part. She had to trust in Eren.
Where was he?
He couldn't see anything, only darkness.
Am I… Sitting? He thought.
He probably was.
Suddenly he could see again.
He was in a room. A boy's room. He recognized it, it was his. What was happening? Was he dreaming all along? It sure felt like he was. He took in the place, he was laying in a bed, of blue covers, a small window was directly on his left side, and on his right, a small study. Stuck to his walls dwelled several posters, but he couldn't make out what they were about.
He yawned, he was sleepy.
Whatever happened, he wanted to sleep again.
He felt a sharp pain crossing his left arm, and a voice, a distant voice, reaching out for him.
"...Hurry...Get out of-"
Get out? Why? He was sleepy, wasn't he?
"What… Avenging your mom! She was killed by them! What… It? You're going… To exterminate all titans right?! For your mom!"
Armin? What was he talking about? Mom was right here, downstairs…
"Everything will end! If you stay right there, Titans will kill you!"
"I'm telling you, why should I go outside… I don't want to…"
"Eren… We're going to explore the outside world someday, right? Far beyond these walls, there's flaming water, ice lands, and fields of sand spread wide! It's the world my parents wanted to go to! I thought you'd forgotten it because you stopped talking about it, but you hoped it would've dissuaded me from joining the survey corps, didn't you? You didn't even want me to join the army, so I can't imagine you'd allow me to join the corps…" He chuckled.
"The Outside world…"
"Eren… Answer me. Why do you want to see the outside world so badly, knowing that with even a single step outside the walls, a living hell and cruel death may be the only things that await, just like what my parents had to go through?!"
"Why? Isn't that obvious?" Eren asked, and he wasn't feeling sleepy anymore. He stood up, and with a rage he never felt before, he screamed, and he felt as if his voice was ready to break, "It's because I was born in this world!"
He wasn't in his room anymore nor was he surrounded by darkness. His eyes glowed green, like emeralds in a faraway cave. He screamed, and the ground shuddered. He was there for a reason.