He was only a week out of Hogwarts the first time James saw someone die. And not just any someone. Mary McDonald had been one of his classmates, a fellow Gryffindor, Lily's friend and roommate for the past seven years. And now she was dead.
He hadn't expected the war to get so close, so quickly. They knew about the rising dark, of course; the Slytherins bragged about it. There had been injuries too, ones that James, as Head Boy, had often had to sort out. But death was abstract, not something to worry about. Or so he'd thought.
It was an ambush; Mary hadn't even been fighting when the hex caught her across the chest, slashing through her brand-new, post-schoolgirl robes. The Death Eaters retreated when they realized they'd attacked a group of teenagers; one of them yelling "He's not here!" before they all Disapparated.
Lily was already kneeling over her friend by the time James ran up, out of breath from trying to give chase to their attackers. From the set of her lips he knew it was too late. Bile rose in his throat; Lily and Mary had been walking side by side. If Lily had been on the left . . . That wasn't fair, he knew, that he felt that tiny thrum of relief. But he didn't deny it.
Lily closed Mary's eyes. "I don't even know what spell they used," she said, gesturing helplessly at the fiery gash that didn't bleed but had obviously done grave damage.
"We'll need to get a message to Dumbledore." Sirius was at James' side now, having transformed back from the black dog. "I didn't smell anything useful." He glanced down at Mary's body and then away. "Marlene went to tell Mary's parents," he said abruptly. "I said I'd meet her there so she didn't have to do it alone." He rocked on the balls of his feet. "Someone needs to tell Dumbledore."
He'd said that already, but James just nodded. They were supposed to be on their way to Godric's Hollow right now; they'd been heading to James' house for tea. Those plans felt a million years ago, already from another life. Almost mechanically, he sent his Patronus and watched Sirius Disapparate before pulling Lily off the road and into a copse of trees.
"Go to my parents' house; it's safe there for now. I'll wait for Dumbledore."
Lily gave him an odd look. "I'm not leaving." James saw that she was holding her wand in a defensive grip. He shook his head.
"They may come back; what if they think we can identify them?" He tried to sound reasonable, but Lily just huffed with impatience.
"And why is leaving you here alone to face them a good idea?" When he didn't say anything she put her hand on his arm. "James . . ."
He shook his head again, feeling his tenuous grip on his control waver. "Just leave, please. I can't . . .I have to know you're safe."
Lily's expression softened. "And I have to know you're safe, but that's not something either of us can promise anymore." Her glance flickered back toward the road, where Mary's body looked grotesquely out of place in the sunlight. "I'm staying."
James gave in, and they waited together.