Author's Note: Day 7 is...Cam!
The silence that descended over Ninja Ops after the rangers left was usually calming for Cam. He liked the team, he did. They'd grown on him. But at the end of the day, it was nice to work in silence. Especially with the task facing him now. Cam sighed and pushed his glasses up to rub his eyes. Spread out before him were five morphers. To be specific, five, damaged morphers. While he hadn't been there to see it, Shane's account had involved them getting hit with an attack with their arms raised. Cam moved to pick up one of the morphers, wincing at the sharp pain in his arm. "Ah!"
Cam rubbed his shoulder with the other hand, trying to message away the pain. 'If Dad were here he'd at least be able to bring me some Tylenol or something,' he thought. He hadn't thought he'd miss his dad this much when the Ninja Master decided he needed to retreat into the woods for a few days for mediation and self-reflection, but when he could barely move Cam wished he had his dad. 'It's fine. I can get it myself. And the heating pad. I need something to help me move.' He groaned as he got up from his seat.
With the other rangers' morphers damaged, Cam had needed to take on Lothor's latest goon alone. Luckily, with the ninja taking care of the Kalzaks he'd been able to focus on the main monster. But fight a monster like that one-on-one had been very difficult and he hadn't gotten out unscathed.
"Where would these jocks be without me?" Cam mused as he grabbed the bottle of Tylenol from the first aid kit. After a few minutes of searching he couldn't find the heating pad they usually used for sore or pulled muscles, so he abandoned the idea. After down a few pills, Cam gathered the morphers and moved to the low table in the middle of the room. He groaned again as he kneeled aside it and set the morphers down. Luckily, his tool kit was already over here so he could get to work.
The first thing to do was strip off the damaged parts and see what needed to be replaced. "Not exactly an easy task," he muttered. "Everything's held together with the tiniest screw imaginable." It didn't help that his right shoulder was so sore. Turning the screw driver to get the screws out was a difficult task. 'If Dad were here he could help.' Theoretically he could Cyber Cam, but his hplogram-doppleganger was more talkative than his teammates and Cam didn't think he could handle that right now. So he was on his own.
Cam furrowed his brow in frustration when the tip of the screwdriver kept slipping out of the screw. "Come on, Come on," he muttered. The muscles in his hand strained as he tried to turn it. Unfortunately, the screwdriver once again, slipped out of the screw; this time however, Cam lost control and the tip scratched him. "Ah! Shit!" Cam swore, dropping the screwdriver and morpher in shock. Luckily, the cut was superficial, it didn't even bleed. So, he decided to move on to another morpher for now. He tried to breath against his rising frustration. 'I need to get those working again. I have to.'
Thankfully, he had a but more luck with this one and got the first piece of the outer casing off the morpher. The next piece of damaged metal, however, wasn't as easy. Parts of it were warped, making it nearly impossible for Cam to reach the tiny screws. "Come on, come on, come, come on!" Cam slammed his fist on the table. In the back of his mind he could hear his father scolding him for the outburst. "Unless you want to fix these morphers, you can't judge me for getting frustrated, Dad," Cam replied to no one. "I need to get these fixed. No one else can do it."
'Cyber Cam could help,' the mental image of his father told him.
"Maybe I don't trust Cyber Cam, he did tie me up in a closet after all."
'Cam-'
"Maybe I don't trust anyone. Without these morphers we can't defeat Lothor. Without the morphers, we all die. So, maybe, I want to do it myself so I can be sure it's all right." It was the best way he had to deal with the anxiety. It was all his tech. The morphers, zords, every weapon and disk; it was all Cam's handiwork. And the rangers couldn't beat Lothor without it. So if the tech failed, if a weapon malfunctioned or the morphers weren't rebuilt correctly, then it was Cam's fault. He and he alone would be responsible for it. And Cam would be damned if he was the reason they lost.
'Everyone is counting on me,' he thought, once again digging the tip of the screwdriver into the screw. 'I have to get this right. I can't afford any mistakes.' It was a familiar anxiety for him, only assuaged by checking and double-checking his work. It wasn't unheard of for him to check stuff in the middle of the night, driven by a nightmare. The checks reassured him that he'd done his job correctly. 'I don't care if Dad thinks I'm being paranoid,' he thought, once again jamming the screwdriver into the screw. 'Everyone isn't counting on him. He doesn't understand.' The tip of his screwdriver once again slipped, scratching him. "Damn it!"
Cam threw the morpher down, clamping a hand down on his cut. It was also superficial, but stung badly. "Why now?" Anything that could go wrong, would go wrong. Cam moved on to another morpher. His nerves were now sufficiently frayed; which wasn't helped by how tired he was. Normally after a long battle he was happy to just sleep. Staying up rebuilding the morphers wasn't necessarily high on his list. 'But it has to be done,' he reminded himself, biting back a yawn. 'It needs to be done.' Luckily, the next one wasn't as warped, so he was able to get all the casings off, but one of the circuit boards was completely fried. Cam sighed and frustration after throwing the damaged circuit board. 'It's going to take forever to rebuild that. Great.' Maybe his anxiety would be lowered enough that he could hand it over to Cyber Cam.
The fourth morpher was in mostly the same state as the first two. Warped metal that made getting the outer casings off nearly impossible. It didn't help that Cam's hands had started shaking. Worried thoughts bounded around in his head.
What if he couldn't get them all fixed in time?
What if someone gets hurts because of him?
What if someone dies because of him?
'No one's going to die,' he thought stubbornly. 'As long as I get these morphers fixed, no one is going to die.' Unfortunately, logic did little to calm the voice in his head. The need to ensure that his ever project was perfect.
Because if it wasn't perfect then people would die.
'Not just the team,' Cam thought. 'All of the students on Lothor's ship too.' He was always nauseas when he remembered the captive students. While most of them were technically adults, like Cam's teammates, they were fresh out of high school. Young adults with their whole lives ahead of them. So many potential futures that could be cut short if he didn't fix this. 'I should've made the morphers sturdier in the first place,' Cam thought, scolding himself. 'Why didn't make them stronger? They needed to be able to withstand some hits.' He grunted as he tried take off the casing. After two more times of the screwdriver slipping and scratching him, he changed tactics and tried to pry the outer casing off.
"Come on, Come on, Come on…" The shaking in his hands didn't help. It drove Cam's frustration higher. The screwdriver kept slipping. "Come on!" The screwdriver kept slipping again and again and again. Cam threw the morpher down, then moved on to the fifth one. This one actually had an opening in the casing that he could pry open. It was difficult, especially with his hands shaking, but he moved around the casing little by little. Eventually the casing fell apart, giving him access to the morpher. "Finally!"
Thankfully, this appeared to be the last damaged one. A few broken parts that he could easily replace. 'Let's at least get this one back online. One working morpher is better than none.' The first thing he had to do was remove the broken parts. However, it quickly became apparent how difficult that would be because of his hands. He grit his teeth, trying to be precise. But his shaking hands caused the tool to hit other parts, pieces the he didn't need to remove. Things were jostled and moved. "Come on, Come on, Come…"
One piece was knocked clean off the morpher and fell to the ground.
Cam stared at the shattered piece for far too long. It was like his brain just didn't want to process what was happening. The shaking got worse, causing him to clutch the morpher in his right hand. Crunch! Cam closed his eyes, biting his lip. He didn't want to look. He couldn't look. Blood trickled down his hands. Cam's breathing got faster. His hands shook even more and he dropped his tool. 'I don't want to look. I can't look.'
But if he didn't look, how could he see what needed to be fixed?
That didn't matter. Cam just couldn't bring himself to look. His breathing got faster as his chest constricted. Cam curled up in a ball, wrapping his arms around his knees. 'I can't do it,' he decided. 'I can't fix them. They'll just keep breaking and breaking. This one is probably broken beyond repair now. I'll have to build a brand new one and there's no time to build a new one!' I his mind, he could see the reactions of his team.
How angry his team would be. Cam was always telling them to be careful with their equipment, yet here he was breaking it more when he was supposed to be fixing it.
How disappointed his father would be.
'Everyone's depending on me,' he thought. 'They're counting on me.'
Everything we can do is because of everything you can do.
Tori's words, at the time which had been reassuring, now hung around his neck like an anchor. Dragging him into the depths of his self-doubt and anxiety. If everyone was counting on him, how could he accept anything less than perfection? When so many innocent lives were at stake, how was it fair for Cam to accept anything less from himself?
'I can't do it,' Cam thought, burying his face in his legs. 'I can't, I can't, I can't. If I was better we would even be in this situation. If I was smarter I'd invent a weapon to free the students and kill Lothor.' He tightened his arms. 'It's too much. Too hard. 'I won't be able to do it. I let them all down. Everyone. I'm a fraud.'
Cam's hands shook with almost violent tremors all he could do was clutch the broken morpher in his hand; letting the jagged metal bite accusingly into his palm.