13

"Captain!" Jack roared over the crowd as he surged towards William Shatner, the man having the good grace not to take a step back as Jack's sexuality cut a swath through the guests. It had been a fortnight since their seclusion, this worth coming out of the 'hicks' for. Jennifer had already moved on after the official photos for the press, her need to find an after party to shine at more pressing than her need to be seen as a doting mother and grandmother. Really, she had not thought that through and the realization that she was outing herself as a granny all the time was a shock to her.

"Captain!" Bill replied to Jacks appearance with arms outstretched and Ianto knew without even having to see that Jack's grin would have become megawatt as Bill gave him the title he craved so much. Ever since his character became a Captain it rankled tht they still referred to him by name, not rank. Weird, but Jack had been called Captain a few times in character and this time with a recurring movie character he had craved the acknowledgement that he WAS the character. This seemed to make him more comfortable that no one would ever do a take-off or the franchise somehow recast him.

If only he knew, Ianto had trademarked Captain Barrowman the moment he accepted the part for the first movie years ago. Oh yes… Ianto ensured that Captain Rank and moniker would be all Jack's come hell or high water long before the studio realized they were being shafted by the tepid little assistant with the dower looks and soft spoken vowels. Oh yes.

The two Captains stood for photos and signed autographs like this was Jack's movie premier as well, the cast of the movie not only gracious in allowing this but Ianto watched as several asked for an autograph and photo with the charismatic sex machine as well.

Weird the things you can feel proud of I guess. Ianto did wonder though… was this a good time to suggest a merger or at least a crossover? Hmmmmmm.

"Taddy? Is Daddy a big cheese?" Nate whispered as he sat in his father's lap watching the madness, Jamie Dee in the middle of it getting lipstick all over him from all the kisses and crooning, that Harkness Grin on display.

"Daddy is a big cheese" Ianto agreed.

"So what are you?"

"Well… I guess I am the holes that make him look good?" Ianto tried to find a good analogy for himself and Nate giggled in a high pitched way that was so like Ianto, snuggling in as he clung to him like a baby still.

"No Taddy… you are the cheese maker." Nate giggled, "What's the word?"

"Cheesemaker is the word for someone who makes cheese but the French call someone who sells the Cheese a Cheesemonger." Ianto whispered back and Nate's giggles increased as he found a new word to roll around in his head.

He liked that one.

Tadda was a Cheesemonger and Dadda was the cheese. And when he cut the cheese it was REALLY funny because his farts were silent yet deadly killers. 'Silent but violent' as JD would say. Oh boy, Nate was in a giggle fit now and Ianto could not help but join in, those nearby turning to watch the handsome man in that impeccable suit giggling with the sweet little boy in his lap and wonder who he belonged to, to be so glamorous and all alone there.

As if hearing their thoughts, Jack swooped in and seized Ianto's face to kiss him lustily then fly off again shouting at Bill about something and as Ianto settled back to rub his little boy's back everyone started to gossip about them.

That's Ianto Harkness-Jones. Oh my god, they say he NEVER goes out anywhere. That has to be him, look at him, so handsome. I saw the home improvement show, it's him alright. He can sing like an angel. What a gorgeous power couple. Jennifer Loyd's son ya know. Gorgeous. Handsome. Powerful, he holds rights to the movie franchise too. They say he is more powerful than Scorsese. Don't' fuck with him. Do you think he will work on other projects? What does he cost? Is he a top or a bottom? I'd fuck him. God, I would love him to fuck me. Both of them, I would be the filing to their sandwich.

"Taddy?"

Ianto looked up from his soft humming to find not only was Nate asleep in his arms but James Dean was standing there with a hand on his knee patiently waiting for an audience.

"My darling?"

"What does a filling in a sandwich got to do with you?"

Ianto stared at him, totally nonplussed by the weird question due to the previous one with Nate about cheese, then suddenly it slammed home and he was on his feet with Nate in his arms, James Dean's hand clinging to his pocket obediently as he swanked through the room "Cariad, the boys are tired. Can you play with your friends another day?"

Soft laughter as Jack collapsed on the floor like a puppet with his stings cut, even Ianto smiling softly at him as he clambered back to his feet to lean in and kiss Nate's little face, the softness and raw love on Jack's face stopping those who had thought of him as just a sex god, the Daddy now on display as he gently took Nate from Ianto to carry like he was made of spun gold.

"Sorry everyone, I have the role of a lifetime here. Many would kill for it and I will always and forever revel in being Daddy" Jack said with a flourish, storming from the room like it was on fire while Ianto now hurried to keep up with Jamie Dee. Feckin show off.

As they left the conversation was now about what a lovely wholesome family they were, how sweet the little ones were and what a loving couple.

It was not until the kids were asleep in their beds that Ianto relayed to Jack what had been said and Jack had at first been horrified that his son had heard that at such a tender age, then saw the funny side. Laughing all the way to bed as he asked Ianto who would ever be acceptable as the jam in their sandwich.

When Ianto exited the room and retuned with a can of whipped cream to inform him that this is the ONLY filling in their bed that would be acceptable Jack found himself unable to breathe for the giggles.

Who knew he was soooo ticklish.

That tongue of Ianto's though… we all know it is the tongue of a demon.

Can't wait for the tabloid photos of the evening, sure to go in Ianto's scrapbook. Yeah, he still does that.

Snip, click, paste, snort.