15

"You are officially dead" Dax said as he shoved the screen under Ianto's nose "look, all the Regulators from your regiment are registered as dead, you're name is listed there too. They just have thought you went down with Swanson and the rest."

Ianto felt a little sick to the stomach as he looked at his name there in bold letters. Sad really, that he was reduced to black marks against a stark white. No one to even mourn him, no one to miss him. Dax was the only one to even look him up, no doubt.

"So what do you want to do now?" Dax asked as he sat next to him and pulled the tablet from Ianto's hands to place beside him on the table "Look, I know your first instinct was to return to the fold but that little one needs you too. We both know she is an orphan now. What happens to those? We also know this, are we not products of the system ourselves? If you take her back she will be placed into care, the next generation of fodder for the machine. If you are dead… you don't get paid anymore. The money going into your retirement find will be pulled if it is not transferred within 24 days of this announcement. I think the first thing we do is that, right? Let's pull your money into another account and see what you are worth. It should be enough to support that little one, if only modestly. If we do this job for Jack and John we will be set for life. They want that jar of ashes, everything else in there is up for grabs. Come on… we both know this is something we do, then disappear. It will take no time for them to know who did it. If we are far away with credits enough to set ourselves up with new lives it will not matter. Right?"

Ianto stared t him "Owen… what?"

"We do this wraithing job and we are home free. Set for life. There are so many pockets of space out there where we will never be found. I will take my cut to whip my girl off somewhere, maybe if I have enough I will take her sister too. She can finally keep a baby instead of selling it. Makes my skin crawl, not that it's any of my business but all the same, I see how she carves away another part of herself to do it each time." Dax stopped talking as if horrified he had given away so much and Ianto patted his hand softly. They were becoming closer though their shared Welshonian heritage as well as the fact they both knew they were the same.

Outsiders.

.

.

"You're kidding, you'll do it?" John was first to speak, his glee evident as he sat forward and started to pull up schematics on the tablet he had snatched up from the table "Here, I will show you…"

"I already looked at them, you showed them to me the other day when you asked" Ianto replied, not accepting the tablet now thrust at him.

"But it was one look, surely you need to…"

"My name is not Shirley."

John blinked, then started to laugh softly at the old joke he had not heard in years.

"I have an edidic memory. I only have to see something once. If I read it, hear it, see it or speak it then my mind holds it forever" Ianto was annoyed now, tapping the side of his head as he explained "I never forget something. Everything I have ever witnessed, been a part of it up here."

"That must be… hard" Jack said softly "You've seen a lot. We all have. Battle is something hard to shake, the people you've seen die in front of you, the horrible wounds and…. Gorum. You remember each one?"

"Every face, every name and their voices are in my dreams" Ianto rose from the table like he had given away too much and Jack knew he had. He was haunted. Jesus, an empath like him with a gun in a war zone. What were they thinking sending him in there? How cruel was the federation for not… hang on.

"They didn't know, did they. The powers that be. Those fat cats sending in more fodder for the machine, they have no idea you are even Welshonian do they?" Jack asked.

"I learned from an early age to hide myself, to hide myself well" Ianto confirmed "They had no idea of my IQ or abilities. I have seen the rooms full of them, their 'subjects' that are experimented on, constantly abused and played with like lab rats. That is stuck in my head too, in my nightmares they have me, in my worst moments in the darkness I lay there with my heart pounding as I wake from a dream of being trapped."

"I am sorry. Born in the wrong place and time" Jack shook his head "Had you been born into wealth you would be one of those fat cats giving orders instead of taking them."

"And I would have hated myself more, sending men into battle. War zones to die like they are just chess pieces on a board. No, I would rather face my death than live that life. Anyone that sits on a throne of their own making it a tyrant and a cursed soul. To run into a hail of bullets is preferable to me than living a long life with my feet in the fire" Ianto scoffed, shaking his head.

"Spoken like a true Regulator." Jack said with pride, rising to once more be face to face with the man he knew was about to flee the room. This ability to lob mind grenades and then leave before the fallout was something Jack admired. He knew the beat, he has walked to it himself long enough.

"If we do this, if Owen and I risk our skin then you have to hold your end of the bargain. We get your dirt in a jar, we take whatever else we can and then you take us and ours somewhere safe. Eli needs me, she needs me to live. I will do all I can to effort that, even if it means dropping that jar of dirt to run faster. We will not die for you." Ianto lifted his head to jut out his chin defiantly and Jack admitted his moxie even as he knew… as they all knew that 'jar of dirt' as he put it, was the payday they all needed.

"Ianto, if you do this for us and save our skin I will save yours" Jack agreed, his voice soft as he reached out to touch Ianto's hand, the eclectic spark between them making them both jump, then Jack nervously laughed as Ianto took a physical step back from him, rubbing at his hand where the sharp snap had been heard coming from.

"What was that?" John asked as he had also heard the crack.

"That dear, was a Spirit Snap" Jack said with a shaky voice, his fingers tingling as he lifted his hand to blow on the tips of his fingers that were still tingling.

"Bullshit. He's not even your type. A Sprit Snap? Come on. You and I both know that's a myth. Your one true love, your soul mate. The electricity between you honing and joining… it's some romantic notion tht was sold to our ancestors and passed along the line to ensure breeding." John laughed as he shook his head at them all "There is never going to be a moment where you jump start your every soul with a single kiss."

Ianto continued to stare at Jack who was frozen to the spot, those eyes he was looking back into were look pools of clear liquid and the little flecks of gold were Koi swimming lazily in the depths. Then Ianto blinked and Jack slammed back to reality, now taking his own step back with a deep breath, his hand scrabbling for the back of the chair for stability "Fuck."

"Stop it" Ianto warned "You seek too much, you swoop too close to the dirt. As graceful and majestic as your flight is, you still cannot help but let your tail feathers brush the dirt each time. I cannot be with a swooper. I am a glider."

"Birds" John frowned with confusion as he turned to Dax "Is he talking about birds?"

"There are two kinds of birds. Those who glide on air currents and gently let the world move below them. Then there are the swoopers who constantly plummet forwards the ground only to pull up at the last second to barrel back up towards the clouds. One lives a long life, the other will eventually crash and burn if it does not learn to glide as well" Dax tapped his fingers on the counter top as he considered "We glide. It is out nature to glide, seek the currents and move with the flow of time. To be hidden, to allow the Gods their part in our flight. For a glider to match with a swooper is for the glider to have to learn to swoop too. It never works the other way, a swooper will not give up that adrenalin rush for a glider, no matter how much love there is. The rush ya see. It's all about the rush for you two."

John blinked as he cindered this and then he nodded "You know, you are right. Jack and I live fast and hard. We do like adventure and we do enjoy the thrill of escaping, racing from things and evading things. Swoopers. We are swoopers. I like that."

"But a swooper can glide" Jack said as he watched Ianto take another step towards the door "I can learn to glide."

"For a while, you would try. But the need to swoop is so strong. Your love for me would have to be stronger than your love of adventure. Would you give all of this up? Sell the Firefly and settle down to grow vegetables in the dirt or raise meat? You give up the thrill of this life for one where you get up every morning knowing what you are doing before you lay your head back down? Hmmm?"

"Ianto…"

"No. To cage a swooping bird in a gilded cage of love is still entrapment. I will not do that to you. I have seen it tried before, I have seen the devastation as the hold is not always strong enough. No. I will do this thing for you, I will free you from this debt and then you must free me."

Jack knew that would be impossible, they both knew deep down that it was already impossible to walk away from one another.

But he nodded.

They would burn that bridge when they get to it.