Title: Consequences of our Actions
Disclosure:
Warner Brothers Television Distribution and Shoot The Moon Productions owns
these characters, as well as to the writers, and actors who created and
portrayed them. I am just a humble
author who wanted to breathe a little life back into them in an effort to be
entertaining.
Timing and
assumptions: Just after series
ended. Obviously, no one knows about
the marriage, Lee and Amanda are still sneaking around to get time together,
and all those who were peeping toms into their lives want to know how it all
ended up. Generous references to the
past and the events of the 4th season… and occasionally you might
see a character utter a familiar line…
Author: WhizGidget
Written: Dec 2000-Jan 2001
Rating: PG-ish…
probably more accurate as a G, but this allows for one's mind to wander…
Archive: at
fanfiction.net, and I'd be honored to be elsewhere, just email me and let me
know where (astolzman@yahoo.com)
Comments? I'd love to see 'em. Encouragement to continue? I'd love that too. Flames? Sure, why not, I need something to roast marshmallows by…
Notes from me: I
loved writing this story, and I thank everyone who encouraged me to
continue. I hope that I can continue to
entertain you…my ego hopes so too. 8-D
Dotty was the
first to leave; just a few minutes later, with a bag in hand, and cautious
smile on her face. Lee offered to carry
her bag out to the cab, and she refused, but he continued to walk her out. "Lee, I don't know you very well, but what
I do know is that you have made my daughter very happy over the last couple of
years. This *is* just a
mis-understanding, isn't it?" Lee
nodded. " Oh, thank goodness. It's no wonder things never worked out with
Dean. I mean he was so dependable, and
stable, and nice, but she didn't seem to have that spark for him like she does
when you're around. Well, between you
and me, Dean *was* a little boring. And
you'd better make sure that you work this out with Amanda, or you're going to
have to deal with me when I get back, Lee. You do not want to deal with me if you break my daughter's heart."
"Dotty, I promise
you that you are right. This is a
complete mis-understanding, and I should have explained what was going on weeks
ago, but I didn't think I was ready. And we didn't think that our jobs would be hanging in the balance
because of our relationship." Lee mused
on the comments about Dean, and made a mental note to share that with Amanda
later. After he cleared up this mess
that he was in. "I would never do
anything to hurt Amanda. You're
right. You don't know very much about
me, but Amanda knows me and my history, and if she had any doubts she wouldn't
be in that house waiting for me to explain myself."
Dotty
nodded. She knew her daughter very
well, and so, apparently, did Lee. "Well, I expect that you're not going to clue an old lady in, are you?" She smiled hopefully, already knowing the
answer.
Lee laughed. "Oh no, Dotty," he said while shaking his
finger slightly, "I said I wanted to speak with Amanda first. Then I will explain everything to everyone
else. Believe me, I won't be breaking
her heart. That is a promise. Enjoy the next couple of days with Captain
Kurt."
"Lee, I wanted
this time off for you and Amanda to be alone and for you to move in. If you work this out, I expect that you'll
be living here when I come back."
"Not until the
boys agree, Dotty. I won't put any more
pressure on them than they might be feeling already." Lee smiled and helped her into her cab. "Don't worry about us."
As he walked back
into the house, the boys came downstairs with backpacks in hand. Philip shot a glare over at Lee, not
entirely sure that he was being on the level with everyone. He quickly headed out the door after giving
a quick hug to Amanda. Jaime wished her
luck in the conversation that she looked like she was about to have with Lee,
told her that he believed Lee, that this was a misunderstanding, and headed
after his brother. He also wished Lee
luck, and said he couldn't be happier. Lee could have floated on air with those words.
Joe had never
came back in to say goodnight, Lee hadn't seen him when he'd walked Dotty out,
and in a couple of minutes, the two remaining occupants of the house heard his
car start up and drive away. They
looked at each other, sighed, and sat down on the couch at the same time, side
by side.
4247 Maplewood
was finally silent. For all of 3
minutes.
"Lee."
"Hmmm?" His head was tilted back on the couch, and
his eyes were closed. All of a sudden
he was incredibly tired, but he knew what he was about to face.
"We need to
talk." Amanda paused, "Now."
Amanda's tone of
voice when she said that they needed to talk made Lee sit up and take
notice. "Who is she?" Amanda couldn't even look at him when she
asked. She just stared at her feet.
Lee took a deep
breath. How did those rumors get
out? There was no way that anyone else
could have known about Sarah Brawley. He had kept it so quiet, they met only at his apartment, and there was
no way… except Smyth's critters. That's
what happened. He hadn't really been
ready to tell Amanda about Sarah, but he supposed that there wasn't any other
choice after Philip dropped that little bomb about calling his apartment. "Amanda, god, how can I start without it
sounding bad?"
"It's true? Oh
gosh, Lee, don't let this be true!"
"Well it is and
it isn't. Yes, she is an old
girlfriend, and I am seeing her, but not in the way you think," Lee grabbed
Amanda's hand before she could get up and walk away. "I want you to hear me out. After what happened in California, I realized that I've had too many
losses in my life: my parents, my childhood, Dorothy… I lost one partner, and I
almost lost another. And regardless of
what happened to you, I'm a stepfather to those boys. If something *had* happened, they would never know that. And I wasn't entirely sure that I was ready
to be their stepfather. I didn't know
how to handle all of this, and I didn't want to talk with Pfaff or else Smyth
would get hold of the files." Lee
paused. He tipped Amanda's chin up to
look in her eyes. "I needed someone to
talk to who could help me."
"Lee, you could
always talk to me. I'll always help
you. I'm your friend, your partner, and your wife. I'll always be here to listen to you."
"Amanda, in our
business, that's not always true. I
almost lost you as part of a freak accident that no one could have
predicted. And I needed someone
detached from the situation to talk to. So I called a couple of old friends and they recommended Sarah. I'd completely forgotten about her, she's a
therapist, an old friend, and she has some very powerful clients – she knows
about The Agency and she knows how to be discreet. For the last couple of months, Sarah's been coming over to the
apartment. Otherwise her office and
files would have to be regularly swept." Lee got up and started walking around the room. He stopped at the mantle, where a picture of
Amanda and the boys were. As he picked up
the photo, he thought 'This is my family. I won't lose them.'
Lee continued
speaking. "In the time I've spent with
Sarah, I've come to realize that these losses aren't my fault. It wasn't my fault that my parents died, and
there was nothing I could do to save Dorothy, or my first partner, or to
prevent you from getting shot in California…"
"Why couldn't you
have told me about this?" He couldn't
put a definition to the look on Amanda's face. She wasn't angry, she wasn't sad, she wasn't happy. It was just a blank look. She'd reverted to agent mode.
"I wanted
to. Believe me. But I also wanted you to be involved in a
couple of sessions, and I couldn't do that until I was really ready and had
told you. This is not the way I
envisioned you finding out what was going on, but then, I didn't expect a rumor
at The Agency to be started. I expect
it was Smyth and his little critters that prompted that. Amanda, I am so sorry that you had to find
out this way." Lee looked over at his
wife, who know was finding *her* shoes a very interesting subject. He walked over and reached over for her
hand, and started rubbing his thumb over her knuckles. "Believe me. This is forever, Amanda. You helped me burn those black books of mine a while back, remember? The old Lee Stetson wouldn't have done that
– he would have made sure that you never even knew that they existed."
Amanda was silent
for a couple of minutes. Her face was
expressionless. Lee wasn't sure what to
do, and he softly called her name, not expecting a response.
"Call her."
"What? Who?"
"Call Sarah. I want to talk to her. Tonight."
Two and half
hours later, Sarah was starting to yawn, and started to collect her notes so as
to get ready to leave the white house in Arlington that Lee had told her so
much about. She had confirmed all of
what Lee had to say about their discussions to Amanda, who had a few
interesting insights about Lee herself. That's when Sarah realized just how very lucky Lee Stetson had gotten in
happening across Amanda King in a train station. He'd found his way to the human race – and was very different
than the unfeeling agent she knew long ago. That chapter in his life was over, and the demons that went with it were
being banished.
Lee had called
her two months earlier to help get rid of those demons, at the advice of a
mutual and discreet friend, and to eventually have Amanda involved in the
process. After this one session, Sarah
didn't see the need to have Amanda present any further. And she didn't see the need to see Lee
anymore as a patient. She had finished
reaching for her notes on the coffee table, stacked them all together, and
fastened a large clip around them. She
handed them to Lee.
"Why are you
giving me your notes?" Lee queried.
"Because we're
done. Now if you don't mind, could I
have a hand getting out of this chair? It's no walk in the park being 8 months pregnant, you know." Amanda immediately got up to help her.
"Um, Sarah,
shouldn't you keep the notes on Lee's sessions? After all, you're his therapist?" Amanda seemed slightly puzzled at this turn of events.
"I don't keep any
notes for people who aren't my patients anymore. That's just a standard part of the way I practice. After a patient breaks off with me, they
generally don't come back. In the rare
cases that they have, we just cover the same ground again, and a new
perspective comes from it. And then I
don't have to worry about someone getting their hands on my session notes years
later and using them against the patient. Besides, I don't expect to have to see Lee anymore, though. He's got you, Amanda. You're better for him than I ever could
be." Sarah grabbed her briefcase, and
started towards the door.
Lee was just
staring at the notes in his hand. "Um,
Sarah?" He got up and walked towards
her. "Thank you. But what should I do with these?"
"Whatever you
wish. Burn them, save them, frame them,
publish them. They're your thoughts,
you own them, and you should keep them." She rubbed the small of her back, as it was a little achy from sitting
down too long. Thankfully, she didn't
have too long a drive back to her home ahead of her.
"Uh, ok. Give my best to Paul, please?" Lee gave Sarah a quick hug, and helped her
with her coat. "In fact, let me walk
you to your car." They headed out the
front door.
Amanda started
clearing up the dishes and coffee cups. 'What a night', she thought. She heard the front door close softly, and waited for the inevitable
sneak attack by her husband. When none
came, she turned and looked into the living room. Lee was sitting on the sofa, staring at the papers in his
hands.
"Lee?" Amanda started towards him. "What are you going to do?"
Lee got up, threw
the papers in the fireplace and threw a match in after them. Who cared if it was the beginning of June,
and they had started a fire, as long as those notes disappeared as ash on the
wind. He turned to Amanda, hugged her
and told her he was sorry for not telling her sooner. They ended up sitting in front of the fireplace, watching those
papers and ghosts burn until they were gone.
The next couple
of days flew by, while Amanda and Lee went back to his apartment to pack much
of it up. They carted a few boxes of
unnecessary items into her attic, but left the clothes and other essentials at
his apartment ready to move at a moment's notice. Lee mused that this would be a walk in the park since he was used
to living out of a bag, briefcase or piece of luggage with so many years of
traveling for The Agency.
Every night they
fell asleep exhausted at Amanda's house from all the activity. They had attempted to inspire a romantic
mood by showering together on the second night, but they were so tired they
ended holding each other up in the shower.
On the third day,
when the boys were expected home, Amanda went outside to wait for Joe so that
they could talk about what happened. He
wasn't very receptive to coming into the house, as he saw Lee's Corvette parked
in the driveway behind Amanda's Jeep, but if he wanted to know the whole story,
Amanda insisted, that was the only way.
Joe had taken the
news of their marriage rather well, all things considered. He didn't let on that he suspected that they
had been seeing each other, but it didn't matter. Amanda was happier than he had seen in ages, and that was what
was important. Other than who was that
other woman that Philip had told them about. The thought of that had Joe seeing red once again, but he had promised
Amanda that he'd stay calm.
When Philip came
in, he ran straight upstairs knowing that he'd avoid Lee if he did so. Jaime headed for the kitchen, and greeted
Lee, who was having a cup of coffee. "Lee, are you and Mom all straightened out now?"
"You bet. Your mom and I will explain it all in a
little while. First we need to talk to
your father. Why don't you head
upstairs and try to convince Philip that I'm not such a bad guy?" Lee winked at his stepson – once, Philip was
the one who had that role.
When Joe came in,
Lee offered him a cup of coffee, and sat down with him and Amanda to hear about
what was going on when Philip had called the apartment. Since Joe knew about Lee's involvement with
The Agency, it made explaining why he had sought out someone to talk to easier
to explain. They all knew that it
wouldn't be that easy to explain it to the boys, however, but Joe promised to
support Lee's explanation. He did warn
them, however, after getting back to his place, Philip had yelled for about a
half hour, and then had been quiet the rest of the time. He wouldn't even speak to Jaime about what
was going on.
There was another
topic besides the mystery woman that they needed to discuss, and after a quick
talk about it, Joe agreed to stick around for that as well. Lee didn't expect, however, that either
conversation would go smoothly. When
the boys came downstairs, the three adults called them into the family room to
sit down and talk this out a little more. Philip certainly did not look happy about any of this, and moved to sit
as far away from Lee as possible.
"Who is
she?" Philip sounded exactly the same
as his mother had a couple of days earlier.
"Philip, her name
is Sarah, and she's a therapist. When
Lee was a little boy, both his parents died, and he's lost a couple of other
people that were very important to him as well."
"Then your Mom
was shot in California, and I thought I was going to lose her, without us every
getting a chance to tell you about the two of us. I didn't know how I was going to explain that I'm your stepfather
without your mother being with us. And
when she recovered, I realized that I was afraid of being a part of the family
because I didn't want to lose you guys either." Lee looked from one boy to the other, and then to Joe, who
nodded.
"But why did you
have to talk to someone else besides Mom? She's one of the best people to talk to?" Philip was curious.
"Sarah could be
more objective than your Mom. Your Mom
would just want to hug me and make it better, but what I needed was an
objective opinion as to why I was feeling the way I did. And because your Mom, and you, were part of
the reason I was seeing Sarah, it just didn't seem right."
"So, you were
seeing this lady because you couldn't talk to mom, and you were scared of
us?" Jaime finally spoke up.
"Yeah, I guess
you could put it that way." Lee looked
relieved.
"Oh." Philip got up and walked over to Lee. "I'm sorry for being mad at you and jumping
to conclusions. I should have just
asked you what was going on."
"Thanks,
Philip. That would have saved a lot of
distress the other night, but I should have told your mother what was going on
too. Friends, again?" They shook hands.
"Fellas, we have
something else to discuss with you too." Both boys looked at their mother.
Lee knew that
there was no avoiding this question, and that he had to be the one to ask
it. "Philip, Jaime… I know this news
is, um, was unexpected, and I don't expect you to be comfortable with this for
a while. As we said, we didn't intend
to keep this from you forever, and if you want to blame anyone for keeping this
secret from everyone, then blame me. I
was only concerned for your and your mother's safety."
"Lee, that's not
true, and you know it. Boys, he isn't
entirely to blame – he didn't force me to not tell you boys. I went along with it, and I am as much to
blame. But what he said about keeping
us all safe is true. It's the only
reason we didn't have a ceremony with you and your grandma all together." Amanda looked from one son to the other. Jaime was nodding his head, as if
life-altering secrets were dumped on him every day. Amanda was so proud at how far her youngest boy had come
emotionally – he used to be jealous of Lee, now it seemed like he was his
biggest supporter. Philip, who had
previously been Lee's champion, was studying his shoelaces.
Lee continued.
"I'm not going to try and replace your dad, and I wouldn't want to. But I do want us to be friends, and I think
we were on the right track before your mom and I sprung this on you, and this
misunderstanding about Sarah. I love
your mom very much. And if it's ok with
you, if you're ready, I'd like to move in. I think your grandmother had originally arranged all this time off so
that I could do just that, but I won't until I know both of you are going to be
OK with it." Lee stopped and looked at
Amanda. She nodded and smiled. He was doing fine with approaching the
subject, and wasn't forcing anything on them.
Joe spoke up, "I
know your mother doesn't love you any less because she loves Lee enough to
marry him. And this doesn't mean that
I'm going to see you any less, either. But it will make me feel better that there's going to be someone else
around who cares about you, and you can turn to for help if you need it."
Jaime spoke
up. "Lee, this is so weird. It's going to be weird for a while. But if you want to move in, that's ok with
me." He smiled shyly and looked
down. He didn't know what else to say,
and thought that it was pretty cool for Lee to be asking their permission to
move in with them. "You should live
here now. After all, you married Mom,
and it's probably been weird not living together like you're supposed to when
you're married. Uh, thanks for asking
our permission." Jaime felt really
grown up at that moment – he had a part in an important decision, and Lee
wasn't going to make it an ultimatum. "I, um, think it's cool that you're going to be our step-dad. Uh, I guess you *are* our step-dad,
huh?" He looked to his father
cautiously, but Joe was smiling and nodded at Jaime.
Philip had been
quiet again, and the truth of the matter was that he didn't know what to
say. "Mom, Lee… um." He sighed. "I guess it's ok with me too. I'm still not sure about this whole thing, but Jaime made a good
point: Lee has a right to stay
here. And, uh, I think he's going to be
a good step-dad too."
Amanda could have
cried at that moment for how understanding her boys were being about Lee's role
as their stepfather. It was exactly the
support he needed. "Fellas, come here." She held out her arms to hug the two young
men. "Thank you," she whispered.
Joe knew that
this was the right time to leave and let everyone start to get settled and
adjusted to the new lifestyle that was about to descend on 4247 Maplewood. Joe nodded at Amanda, who he noticed, was valiantly
trying not to cry, and shook Lee's hand, wishing him congratulations. He bid them goodbye, and showed himself out
the door. Lee Stetson was a more
sensitive man than he had previously given him credit for. Amanda and the boys were going to be in
good hands, he thought as he looked back at the house just before driving
away.
The End… until
after they're all moved in… but that's another story for another day…