March 24, 1999

Dear diary,

Months have passed and I have become best friends with Darien. I have gotten over my crush of Andrew but I am still good friends with him. Every night, Darien and I talk at least two hours, even though we see each other every day. We still talk all of the time. The first time I chose Darien over Molly for the smallest thing, Molly had dropped me as a best friend. Even though Molly had left me long before.

Darien and I are best friends. We did great in band and we are all a family. The play has started and I have the star part.

Darien and I do everything together. We are never apart. We even have pet names for each other. I call him "Muffin" and he calls me "Pumpkin".

People think of us as a couple even though we don't think that way. In fact, I have begun to like Darien as more than a friend. But, I don't know if he returns my sentiments. He certainly acts like it.

So I'll tell you what happened today:

On this particular day my friends were extremely mad at me.

Ray had said, "All you talk about is Darien."

You see, I do not have a prom date as of yet. I had wondered if I should take Darien. But, he is so much younger than me (even though the age has never mattered to me). So, since Ray, Ami, Lita, and Mina all had dates we were already planning their night and
leaving me out, and I hated when people left me out, I was somewhat upset.

I sat with Darien and Andrew, my two best friends and discussed it with them. Later on, at the end of the day I was already upset and Melvin told me why Molly hated me so much.

Because I had told Melvin that Molly had liked her. I could not understand it.

Molly had told me that I could tell Melvin that and so I did. But, Molly had hated me since January because of this little detail. So, my day had gone from bad to worse. The tears started to flow down my face and I could not understand why everyone hated me. I had only tried to keep people together and I loved everyone. Melvin didn't know what to do so he just stood there as I started to bawl.

"What did I do? It's my entire fault. I can't believe this. It's all my fault" I started to say to herself. My heart was full of complete sadness. The bell rang and I tried to wipe my tears but they just kept flowing. I did not want anyone else to see, but I couldn't help
myself.

Well, the first person to walk into the room was Darien. He saw me crying and went straight to me.

"What is wrong?" he asked with concern.

I just kept saying, "It's all my fault."

He said, "I don't know what is wrong but I am sure it is not your fault."

"Yes, it is." I dried off my tears as the rest of the people started to come in because I was embarrassed. Then Darien caught my eye and we both knew without needing to say a word that we needed to talk. So, we went outside.

Away from everyone else I just started to cry again. He demanded to know what was wrong and I told him about all of it.
Then he began to hold me.

"I feel like I can't do anything to please anyone anymore." I finished.

"You please me." This one line was earth shattering for me. Things had changed dramatically.

He gave me another hug and then said, "What do you want me to do - just listen?"

"There is nothing for you to do, just be there for me like you are now."

So, he just held me. We walked and talked and he made me feel much better. Then he made me promise to go out with their group that night. I knew that I would hate it, but I went anyway.

Tonight at dinner, he fed me part of his dinner because I was not eating. After dinner the group went and saw "Shakespeare in Love." It was good and Darien's heads and mine were together the entire movie. I took him home afterwards since he still could not drive and we sat in his driveway talking for a long time like we had done a million times before.

"I told you that you would have fun tonight, I am proud of you" he told me. After that moment, I knew that Darien was the one for me, and no one else would ever take him away. I had fallen in love with him.