By Amai
Disclaimer- Digimon and all it's characters are not copyright me, but copyright Toei Animation/Bandai (there probably are others, but I can't remember offhand). I wish they were, but sadly, not all wishes come true. The only thing that's copyright me is this fanfic, so no stealing, kiddies.
Author's Notes- The Takesuke ending! This is so sad...I think it's much sadder than the Kensuke ending by far. But that's just me. I'm not sure which one I like the best, but oh well. I was going to write this ealier today, but I just wasn't in the mood...I guess night is the best time to write things like this. :) Oh, and by the way, I want to know which fic you would prefer me to work on first, that I have in mind...either, A fluffy, Taito that takes place in the snow. The same thing, but a Kensuke. (one of these are going into Mercury's Contest..but I have to decide), or..and standalone, Daikeru (Takesuke). Your oppinion would really be helpful! Okay, I'll stop now. As always, you know the drill- read and review!
"Daisuke, I've finally found you.", Daisuke's eyes softened as he looked in front of him. Takeru. He wasn't really making this any easier for the boy...a part of him wanted the blonde in front of him to go away. Go away to Hikari. Mostly because he was trying to derive from his soul which one would be the one to pick, and Takeru's presence would just confuse him some more.
It would be so much easier if he was just with one person...
"Takeru..I.I just don't know what to do anymore..I'm sorry for running away.", he said, looking down with eyes clouded with remorse. Takeru simply said,
"You don't have to know what to do Daisuke. Life isn't like that...I've noticed from watching you suffer."
Daisuke frowned, "Takeru. I'm not gonna say this again...you just don't know me. Dammit, no one does..! Maybe that's why I was running in the first place.", he still stared at the ground. He was beginning to see what Osamu was talking about...and his interests were being led to the person in front of him. Life did that, contradicting what you wanted. He wondered with fear what Ken would think if he was to be with Takeru.....
A hand on his shoulder.
"I know I don't know you Daisuke-chan.", Takeru murmured, giving the boy a almost melancholy smile. "But I'd like to get to know you. I always have.."
Daisuke choked on his own thoughts when Takeru said that. This really wasn't easy...it wasn't at all. To control that need to fall into Takeru's arms just then. To forget the pain in the back of his mind that was forcing him to ditch the boy and go over to Ken. Almost nonchalantly, while thinking this, Daisuke shrugged off Takeru's hand,
"Listen, Takeru...just go back to Hikari, okay? It will cause you and me a lot less pain than we're going through right now. At least one person will be happy."
Daisuke was rejecting Takeru..but only to save him. He knew that the innocent boy of hope wouldn't...couldn't comprehend his feelings. He didn't want to explain it to him, give Takeru his burden. It was more of a matter of his own self-pride...he just couldn't give it. He wouldn't.
A stinging pain to his right cheek. Takeru had punched him...?
"God, Daisuke...can't you just let go of your stubbornness for once in your damn life?!", the words were full of complete anger...sounding a bit odd from Takeru, even if they had fought a lot. He was never this angry...but why? He continued,
"I'm just trying to fucking help you, but all you care about is keeping to your damn self and writhing in your own self-depression! That's not how you live, Daisuke...", his voice softened, still holding it's firm sound, "It's not. Daisuke...if you reject me for that simple reason, you'll be hurting me more than you could ever be by just telling me what's wrong with you. So snap out of your self-pity, you're not helping yourself at all."
Daisuke stared at Takeru with eyes full of sudden realization. He had been doubting the feelings inside of the both of them. Looking at Takeru gave him a new feeling now, as he looked at him..figuring out why he wouldn't just leave.
When Ken had kissed me....it just didn't feel like love. It just felt like...like..he was kissing me because he -needed- to. Takeru is warmer. I don't feel like I'm property..or like I -need- to be property with him.
"Okay...you wanna know?", he asked, his voice suddenly cracking. He cursed himself, for what had seemed to be the hundredth time recently. He hated tears...yet he kept pouring them out.
"Two days ago, I had gotten a message to go to the digiworld...seemingly from all of you...I did find it odd that I hadn't been told to go before..but..", he looked around, seemingly ashamed of this thought, "I went anyway, just believing it. Instead...instead...", a single tear ran down his olive cheek. A tear of the water that had been forced upon the rose, strangling it with it's intense want..
"Instead it was Ken. I-I was expecting a damn attack..but I got kisses. Kisses instead."
Takeru silently growled in his mind. He knew it...Ken, it had to had been him. Why didn't he see it earlier...the boy's infatuation with Daisuke's presence was abnormally large. Though, a small part of his mind had to say that he did really get why though...
"The kisses...they just...screwed me up.", Daisuke said, as one by one tears cascaded down his face. "Because I knew that I wanted more...I needed more. I wasn't sure what I was thinking..but I did now I was starting to have feelings for him that I knew I shouldn't have.."
Takeru sighed. Maybe this was why Daisuke was trying to run away...maybe he really didn't feel the same way. It was all Ken. The lucky bastard...but, he wouldn't get in the way if that made Daisuke happy. If only he had kept that shield with Hikari up longer...this wouldn't have happened.
"Listen...Daisuke. If you do care for him, even from that....then just go. I can see why you were pushing me away now..and it only makes my feelings for you stronger. But, I can't hold you like this..it's just not fair."
It was like being careless when planting the wild flower you had found...it wouldn't grow. Instead, it would start to decay..it's former radiant petals dropping to the ground and flowing away with the dead wind.
"No! You didn't let me finish." , despite his tears, Daisuke growled out, "What you just said here really connected with me. Takeru...when I was with Ken for all of those small moments, yes, I was in love...still am. But it was different. A kind of difference I'm not sure I could have dealt with...I just couldn't. But, you showed me otherwise with just saying that...don't leave. Don't ever leave.", he sobbed out. He felt like a small child who had just lost his favorite toy in a room full of toys themselves. It just wouldn't be the same.
Takeru's eyes softened as he looked at Daisuke again. Dropping to his knees, he held the boy close, stroking his hair softly.
"Don't worry, Daisuke-chan. I won't...I won't ever.", Takeru simply said.
You try to look, but you can't to see,
You're blinded with my fantasy,
You try in vain to shun your eyes,
You're here to worship the one you despise.
Your eyes are closed from the thought.
Of love which makes your soul distraught,
Refusing to believe it might be true,
That he is right, and wrong are you.
You yearned for love,
And when you retrieved it,
It burned you soul,
Making you know you were not fit.
Love exists in one's mind,
Don't deny it's existence,
It will come at you fast,
With a raging persistence.
Can choices be made,
If two people are true,
Pick the one you love,
Will the other hate you?
As the new couple stood up to leave, one being stayed in the shadows watching his rose bloom...in the hands of another. He was too late, too late to get him...too late to figure out that he was really feeling love. Not need, love...
Too damn late.
"Osamu....you live to torture me. You did this on purpose, causing my realization to become reality too late...I can't have him. If I were to force him to me, it wouldn't work. It wouldn't be efficient...there's no point. I can't have him...", he murmured, feeling the familiar pain of love creeping in his ebony heart. And feeling a warm watery touch on his pale cheek. Was he crying? Yes. Was he grieving? No. Emperors didn't grieve over something so trivial. He was just crying...crying.
Crying as he finally let go of his petal he had been holding, since the first day he had set eyes on his rose.
You can look
And know you see,
You had lost to him,
Your fantasy.