Disclaimer: I own Keith, the other unnamed vamps, and the plot. The rest belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, the WB, etc.
Finished: December 15, 2000
~~ Cordelia's Men ~~
~~ Chapter Nine ~~
I leaned against the wall of the crypt. I didn't hear any fighting or yelling so I peeked inside. Spike was searching the place, holding a stake menacingly. When he felt the place was safe enough he gestured for me to come inside. I entered and took a look around. Surprisingly, the place was furnished, although the couches were ripped and the stuffing was spilling out. The table was scratched and the chairs were missing legs, but Spike had managed to stack books under the seats so they were moderately even. He had a couple of lamps with cracks and an old TV that sat on what looked like a dessert tray.
"Nice place," I commented sarcastically. "Did you decorate it yourself?"
Spike just gave me a lazy smile as he looked through some drawers of on old dresser. He rifled through some clothes until he found what he was looking for and quickly stuck it inside his pocket. "You'd be amazed at what you can find at the end of people's driveways." he said.
"What's that?" I asked, pointing to his pocket.
"What's what?" he played dumb...he knew exactly what I was talking about.
"The thing you stuck in your pocket. Is that what you didn't want the vamps to take?" I asked, stepping towards him.
"Yeah, and some other things, but they're all here." he answered, looking everywhere but at me.
"Let me see it," I said, I slipped one hand around his waist inside his jacket and the other into his pocket. He realized what I was doing and tried to grab my hand but I was too quick and pulled it out. It was a picture. I flipped it over and looked at it. I gasped. It had been taken while Xander and I were dating, except his half had been torn off so I stood alone, smiling as the sun shone brightly on my long dark hair. "Where did you get this?" I asked him.
"When I first had the chip I was slightly suicidal so I had to stay at Xander's...he had this picture in a photo album and I grabbed it." he explained. "I always thought you were a hot little number...just didn't think you'd like me back."
I handed him the picture and hugged him. "That's the nicest thing I've heard in the last two days. Thank you."
He hugged me back and buried his face in my neck. I felt his chest expand as he breathed in my perfume. "You smell so good," he whispered. I stepped back from him and pulled my hair away from my neck. Spike watched me earnestly.
I bared my neck to him and took a deep breath. He understood my intention immediately. "Are you sure?" he asked, taking a step toward me.
I closed my eyes and nodded. "Just don't take too much," I warned him.
I heard him growl as he vamped out and gently grabbed my arms to hold me. I whimpered as his fangs pierced my neck. I jumped a little, but he held me against his body to support me. I felt blood drip down my shoulder as he drank noisily. Different feelings raced through me: pain, pleasure, excitement, and fear. He stopped and held me so I wouldn't fall. He hadn't taken much but I still felt weak.
I heard a voice calling my name and I realized it was Buffy's. "Cordelia, are you okay?" she asked. I turned my head to look at her by my neck was sore. Seeing my pain, Buffy ran to Spike and punched him in his vamped out face, sending him to the ground, and catching me as I fell. She set me down on the couch and Spike stood up as she took out a stake from her belt. "So you finally got that chip out, Spike?" she asked. "Well it's too late...you've pilfered your last pint."
I realized that Xander had been lying. Buffy didn't even know about his chip being removed. She hit him with a roundhouse kick and he hit the floor again. "No, Buffy," I whispered, but she didn't hear me. My throat felt very dry.
Riley entered the crypt and helped me stand up. "Are you okay?" he asked. I nodded my head.
"Tell Buffy to stop," I said quietly in his ear. "I let Spike bite me, that's why it didn't hurt him."
Riley looked at me...he was kind of cute, but nowhere near as handsome as Spike. "You've lost a lot of blood," he said. "You don't know what you're saying. I'll get you to a hospital." He started to guide me out the door as Buffy hit Spike again. I pried Riley's hands off of my arm...his grip wasn't that tight but it took all of my strength to loosen it.
She didn't even allow him to stand up long enough to prove if he had his chip or not. If he even tried to hit her, the chip would send a shock through his brain and she'd know for sure. I watched as she kicked and punched him repeatedly. She wasn't just fighting him; she was enjoying it. "I've been wanting to do this for a long time now," she said, straddling him on the ground. She held the stake in her right hand above Spike's heart. He didn't make a move to stop her and I realized that he was unconscious.
She had beaten him to death...or would have if he had been alive.
I weakly ran over to Buffy. Just as she was about to plunge the stake into his heart, I grabbed her arm. She nearly pulled me to the ground with it and looked up at me angrily. "Cordelia, I don't stop you from doing your job, don't stop me from doing mine."
"He still has his chip," I explained quickly.
"Yeah, and I'm the President," she said sarcastically.
My eyes never broke contact with hers and she realized my seriousness.
"Then how come he bit you?" she asked.
"I let him," I sighed, this explanation was going to take all night.
Spike woke up and shoved Buffy off of him. He stood up quickly and helped me stand straight. "Are you alright?" he asked, his eyes were filled with concern.
"Yes, but you aren't," I said. His face was covered in bruises and cuts and his shirt was torn and blood-soaked. I gently put my hand on his cheek and he winced at my touch.
"I can handle it," Spike said smiling.
I remembered that Buffy and Riley were there and turned to them. "So, Xander told you about Spike and I so you decided to come kill him?"
"I saw him draining you...I thought--" she began.
"You think? Good for you Buffy," I said sarcastically. I was feeling much better now that I was back in Spike's arms...and quite bitter too. "Maybe you should be thinking a little bit more about your job and realize that Angel's been following you for the past week." I bit my lip. I hadn't meant to rat Angel out...but I was angry with both of them. Buffy's jaw dropped and her face became emotionless.
"Angel's here?" she asked in an almost hopeful whisper. Suddenly she snapped out of it. "No! Not again...I can't wait around and watch him leave me again!" She spun around to walk out of the crypt and in a blind fury, tripped on the stairs leading to the doors. Before she hit the concrete, Angel knelt down and caught her in his arms.
~~ Chapter Ten ~~
Buffy looked up into Angel's eyes and swallowed hard. He helped her stand up and she took a couple steps back from where he stood.
"Angel, hi," she said, trying to sound casual.
"Buffy, are you okay?" he asked.
She nodded her head and looked over to Riley. He stood taller and his face was filled with worry as he looked over at his Slayer. I'm sure he hoped that she was his now, although she truly loved him. He probably thought that she would forget all about him and run to Angel, just as she always had when she was worried, scared, hurt...or telepathic. But she didn't. She walked over to Riley and took his hands in hers, looking only at him.
"Riley," she began, giving him a big smile. "I need to talk to Cordy, Spike, and Angel." She looked at her watch and looked back at him. "Why don't you wait for me at my place. I won't be much longer." She gave him a nervous peck on the cheek.
He blindly nodded his head and left the room. He glared at Angel, and walked by him...or into his shoulder rather. Angel only returned the glare and growled as he watched him walk past.
"Now, now, Peaches," Spike snickered. "Let Captain Cardboard through nicely and maybe the Slayer won't kick your ass."
Angel half-grinned but quickly wiped it off of his face as Buffy glared at him. "Look Angel," she said sternly. "I don't know when or why you started following me around--"
"Buffy--" he protested.
She held up a hand to stop him. "But you'd better explain it soon because I can't have you running around behind my back trying to protect me...again."
Angel sighed then looked over at Spike and I. He still held me but I was strong enough to stand on my own...I just didn't want to. "Cordy wrote and told me about Spike and I came to make sure he didn't hurt her." he explained quickly.
Buffy nodded her head sarcastically. "And I'm sure that following me around for a week was the best way to protect her before she'd even left LA? You know, I've been sensing things all week but I figured that it was just Spike running around, stealing people's old furniture...I should've know it was you checking up on me."
"Buffy," he said a little harshly. Probably a little harsher than he'd meant to, but he stood his ground. "Cordelia's stopped having her visions and I just wanted to see if you were safe." His face lightened a little as if he thought that she'd be happy that he was stalking her and throwing off her senses for her own protection.
"I can handle myself...I am a Slayer, you are a vampire. I stake you guys for breakfast." she said bitterly. Angel's face fell at her tone. She'd just hurt him by comparing him to the soulless creature he used to be.
Spike looked at me, shifting uncomfortably. "Maybe we should go," he suggested, nodding towards the door.
"You're not going anywhere with her," Angel ordered. He saw the dried blood on my neck and glared at Spike. "Cordelia, get away from him." He started walking towards us but Buffy held out her arm across his chest to stop him.
"No, he's harmless," she said. I was quite surprised that Buffy had actually taken Spike's side for once. I looked at them and saw the millions of emotions run through Buffy's face as she looked at her hand on Angel's chest. I watched as her nerves registered his cool touch and she shuddered. Angel did the same and swallowed hard. Buffy quickly pulled her hand away and turned to face Spike and I. Angel just kept staring at her and I saw him lean a little closer towards her...breathing in her scent as if it would be the last time he'd have a chance to. "You are harmless right?" she asked Spike.
Spike sighed angrily. "Yes!" he yelled. "For the thousandth bloody time--yes!"
I smirked at him and he turned his head to wink at me so only I could see.
"Then why did--" Angel began to ask.
"God Angel, is this ignorance thing new, or did I just never notice it before?" I said. I was just as annoyed as Spike was. "I let him bite me. My theory was right: no intent to actually hurt me, no chip jolt for him."
"I didn't even take a whole cup," Spike argued. "I'm not that stupid."
Angel and Buffy both scoffed at the same time, looked at each other nervously, then turned their attention back to Spike.
"Okay," I said, feeling very annoyed. "Maybe Spike did some bad things in his past."
"Like torturing and trying to kill me...twice." Angel said.
"And resurrecting the Judge," Buffy added. "That was pretty stupid."
"Maybe he did...but he's helped you lots of times Buffy, and you know it," I said. "He's risked his neck helping you...demons and vampires are hunting him down trying to kill him and all you can think about is the bad stuff!"
"I only did it because I couldn't hurt humans," Spike grumbled. I shot him a disapproving look and he quickly shut up. I was trying to defend him and he wasn't even helping.
"Look, Angel, I'm sorry for ratting you out, but Buffy would've found out sooner or later. And Buffy, I'm sorry for everything that I ever did to you and your friends, but I'm happy with Spike. And if you two can't accept that, then maybe you shouldn't even bother." I grabbed Spike's arm and started walking towards the door. He followed me out the door and when we got outside I nearly collapsed...I was still pretty weak without him to lean on.
He picked me up and carried me to my car. As he drove to the motel he looked over at me. "Thanks," he said. "For standing up for me. No one has ever stood up for me before...not even Dru," he said. "All she cared about was feeding, Angelus and her creepy dolls. I don't think she ever really loved me. She was just lonely. Darla had Angelus, and she had no one." I watched him as he confessed this to me. I saw a tear slide down his cheek and I reached over and wiped it away.
"I love you," I said. "There's nothing I wouldn't do for you."
~~ Chapter Eleven ~~
As we pulled into the motel parking lot he glanced over at me. "Are you sure you don't want to go anywhere else and wreak havoc on your friends?" he asked hopefully.
"No," I said, grinning at his mischievous question. "I want to stay in tonight. I'm too tired to do anything but sleep."
He parked my car, walked me into the room, and sat down on the bed beside me after bringing me some orange juice. I smiled at him. "You're just like Dennis...always so worried about my health and bringing me things." Spike's smile faltered in spite of his best attempts to hide his hurt feelings. I put my hand on his arm and looked at his handsome face. "Oh, Dennis is a ghost...he was my invisible roommate in LA."
Spike sighed in relief as I took a sip. "I thought that he was another boyfriend or something."
I laughed out loud, almost choking on the juice. "Me...and Dennis?" I shook my head. "He's too dead for me."
"I'm dead too, you know," he reminded me.
"Yeah, but you're undead, and I can see you...and I'm thankful for that cause you're so phat."
"I'm fat? I haven't seen myself in a mirror lately, but last time I noticed I was in pretty good shape." he said and I laughed.
"No! P-H-A-T. It means 'pretty hot and tempting'. I picked it up in LA." I explained. "Some guy called me that and I cried all the way home. Doyle asked me what was wrong and so I told him, and he told me that that was what the guy probably meant--and I'm probably boring the Hell out of you aren't I?"
Spike smiled as he kissed me on my forehead. I didn't realize how insecure Spike could be. This wasn't like him at all.
I set down my glass and turned back to Spike. I looked at him lying beside me. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him, pulling him against me. I kissed him with everything I felt for him and he kissed me back twice as passionately. I shivered as his cool hand grazed my stomach and landed on my waist. He pulled his lips away from mine and placed light kisses on my neck. The bite marks were small but still very sore and I gasped when he kissed them. He stopped and looked at me worriedly.
"Are you alright?" he asked.
I nodded and smiled as I kissed him again. Suddenly there was a knock at the door and I let out an aggravated growl sound...not unlike a vampire's. Spike stood up and answered the door and I heard him talking to three different voices, and although I couldn't hear what they were saying I knew exactly who it was...Angel, Buffy, and Xander.
Spike held the door open and they walked in, smiling their apologies. I looked down at my shirt and picked off invisible lint. "Cordy," Xander said. "How are you feeling?"
I shrugged my shoulders and Spike closed the door behind them.
"I'm sorry Cordy," Xander said. "But it was such a shock to see you with him and I said the first thing that popped into my thick skull." I smiled a little but continued to pick at the invisible lint.
"We're all really sorry, Cordelia," Buffy said. "We didn't know the truth and we jumped to conclusions. We only wanted to protect you."
"I know," I responded. "But I've been around vampires and demons for almost as long as you have, Buffy, and I'm still alive."
Spike walked around them, took off his duster and sat down in the armchair across from my bed. "I want to apologize to you too, Spike," Angel said. "Buffy and I both feel bad about what we did."
Spike looked over at me. His cuts had healed and his new bruises were quickly fading, just like the first one. We sat silent for a few minutes until Xander spoke up. "Look guys, were not getting any younger, well, at least us humans aren't, so what do you say? Can we be somewhat friends again?"
I smiled. "You know, you guys always choose the worst times to interrupt us...but at least you knocked this time." Spike stayed in the chair but I stood up and hugged them each in turn. First Buffy, hers was friendly and warm...a friend's hug. Angel, his was safe and supportive...a brother's hug. Xander, his was nervous and loving...a Xander hug.
Buffy walked over to Spike and held out her hand. "Truce?" she asked, then added, "Temporarily, mind you. But as soon as that chip stops working, I'm coming after you with a toothpick."
He slid his hand into hers and they shook. "I wouldn't have it any other way, Slayer." he said, grinning.
She pulled him to his feet and he shook Angel's hand as well. Angel leaned next to his ear and I heard him whisper, "Hurt her and you die, got it?"
"You don't have to worry about that. I'd never hurt her...I'm usually the one to get hurt." He winked at me and I smiled back.
Xander stuck out his hand and took a step forward. Spike didn't take it though. "I'm not going to forgive you," he said seriously. He raised a fist and glared as he stalked threateningly toward him. "I don't know why Angel hasn't killed you yet though...you're the one that hurt her."
Xander looked over at me quickly. "You told him?"
"I...I might have mentioned it." I said.
He turned to Spike and held up his hands in front of himself as a form of negotiation. "It was only a kiss...it didn't mean anything."
"You'd better go," Spike suggested to him. Xander nodded and turned to leave.
"Xander," I called after him. He stopped and looked back at me. "Say hi to Anya for me, okay?" I asked.
"For sure." he said in his cute lisp, smiling his half-smile. He walked out the door and I gave Spike a quick look of disappointment.
"I'd better get going, too," Buffy said. "Riley's waiting for me."
I saw Angel close his eyes as Buffy spoke. He was clearly hurting inside. "See you later, Buffy," I called as she left. I turned my attention to Angel. I took his cool hand in mine and squeezed it sympathetically. "I'm really sorry Angel. I was scared and angry and--"
"It's okay," he replied. "You're right, she would've found out sooner or later."
"I'll write you when I've found a place to live and you can call me anytime you want to talk...that goes for Wesley and Gunn, too. And say hi to Dennis for me once in a while, if no one's moved in yet that is. I don't know how I'd feel if some guy came around at night to talk to a ghost in my apartment." I laughed lightly and Angel smiled. "You should do that more often," I said. "It looks good on you."
"The sun will be up in a few hours," he replied. "I want to get home before it does. You know I love you, right?"
I nodded and gave him another hug. This one was tighter and he rested his chin on my head. "I love you too, Angel," I whispered. "Thanks for being my hero."
"No problem, kiddo," he said. "It's my job."
He pulled away from me and kissed my cheek, then turned and left the room.
"Bye Spike, take care of my little sister, or I'll have Buffy pay you a non-social visit."
He left the room chuckling and closed the door. Spike stepped up behind me, wrapped his arms around my waist and rested his chin on my shoulder. "That was way too mushy for my liking. But I'm glad they're gone and that you're feeling better."
I turned around to face him. "You're shirt is still covered in blood, Spike, and if you get any on my jacket I'm going to--"
He kissed me suddenly and I lost my train of thought. I walked forward, forcing him to walk backward towards the bed. This time, he slid my jacket off and laughed as he fell backwards onto the bed...well okay, I pushed him onto it.
He took my hands and pulled me so I was leaning over him. I held myself up with my hands and kissed him until he pulled them out from under me and I landed on top of him. He grinned and continued to kiss me. I sat up and he watched as I took out my ponytail and let my hair fall over my shoulders.
"You are so beautiful," he whispered as he too sat up and held me close as he kissed me. "Or should I call you phat?" I couldn't help but giggle as he whispered the words onto my neck. Suddenly he flipped us over so I was on my back and he stood up to turn off the lights and close the heavy curtains. "It wouldn't be any fun to wake up with the sunlight shining on a huge pile of dust, now would it?"
As my eyes adjusted to the sudden darkness I stood up and he walked over to me. I slipped off his shirt and wife-beater between kisses. From the tiny amount of light entering the room I could see every toned muscle on his chest, arms, and stomach and I nearly melted. He hugged me tightly as his still-human teeth grazed the side of my neck that had not been bitten. I pushed him away lightly and held up a warning finger. "No more hickeys for you, buster," I said. "People will start to think I'm a human pincushion." He growled softly as he kissed me again.
~~ Chapter Twelve ~~
I woke up the next morning and Spike was still sleeping with his arms wrapped around me. He hadn't let go of me all night and at first I had trouble sleeping pressed against his cool skin. But after a while I became relaxed and felt safer in his arms than I ever did with Xander. I'd always thought that one day Xander would realize how special Willow really was and that he'd leave me for her...and one day he did. Maybe not literally, but I always felt that his heart had. In Spike's arms I knew that it would never happen because vampires don't fall in love with humans...so if one does, it must be special. *At least Spike makes me feel special whenever I'm around him...I hope I make him feel special.* I thought.
As I was thinking, Spike woke up and looked into my eyes. "Cecily?" he asked with a confused look on his face.
"Who?" I asked him back. "Who's Cecily?"
He snapped out of his daze and looked at me like he had last night. "Cordelia," he said softly. "I feel different."
"Well, Spike, last night was pretty different for both of us." I said, blushing a little. I had never slept with a vampire before and he'd never slept with a human before...unless... "Who's Cecily?" I asked.
"Before I was turned, I was in love with her. She didn't want anything to do with me. Said I was beneath her." he explained. He looked away from me.
"What's wrong?" I asked.
"I killed her," he admitted. "She broke my heart and didn't think twice about stomping all over it. I told her that I loved her and she laughed at me...she destroyed me. That same night, Dru found me."
I cupped his chin and turned his face back to me. "If Dru hadn't found you, we wouldn't be here together."
"I know...but as soon as I woke up as a vampire I went after her." he said. His eyes dazed over as he remembered her and he seemed to be looking right through me. "I stalked her for that whole night until she let down her guard. She thought I was still the pushover that I used to be and so when I offered to walk her home she accepted...after being dared by her friends." He grinned at her mistake. It sent a chill up my spine, but not in the usual, exciting way. "I was so furious at her. I pulled her into the first alley we passed and I bit her. She was scared and confused and hurt...and I fed off of it. All of her emotions that passed through her mind passed through her blood and into my mouth. I enjoyed her fear and pain."
"That's pretty gross, Spike," I said. "That might not be a story you'd want to tell to a girl the morning after you sleep with her...it's bound to scare her off."
Spike snapped out of his daze suddenly...almost as if my voice had woken him up. He grabbed my arms roughly and started talking to me as if I was Cecily. "It was your own fault!" he growled angrily. "If you hadn't mocked me and wrecked me, you'd have lived to see the next year!"
"Spike!" I yelled. "Wake up!" I whimpered as his fingers only gripped my arms tighter. "You're hurting me!"
Suddenly Spike let out a yell and his hands flew to his temples. His chip had shocked him...it was about time. I had begun to doubt if he still had it or not. I looked down at my arms and saw the beginnings of bruises.
Spike recovered from the jolt and looked over at me. "Cordy," he said. "I'm so sorry, I don't know what came over me. Are you okay?"
I nodded slowly, rubbing my tender arms. "It was my fault...I startled you."
Spike sighed and covered his eyes with his hand. "No," he said...it was more to himself than me. "I promised my mother that I wouldn't be like him."
"Who?" I asked although I already knew the answer.
"My father," he answered. "When I was little, he used to beat her and threaten her. He'd come home from the pub drunk and they'd fight. I had to stay upstairs and listen to it. He'd scream at her for stupid things." He swallowed hard before continuing and I squeezed his hand to let him know that he had my support. "Afterwards she'd come upstairs and pretend that nothing happened. She'd tuck me in and go to bed after he'd pass out downstairs. When I finally moved out, I visited every night so I could fight him off of her the next time it happened. I promised her that I'd protect her but she said 'Don't protect me, protect your wife...don't become him.' So I promised, and here I am today."
I was almost afraid to ask my next question, but I had to know. "Did you kill him too?"
"No, he died long before I was turned. My mother died shortly after him." he explained. "I thought you were--"
"Spike, it was an accident. You didn't mean to and I understand it." I said to him.
He looked down at my bruised arms and touched them gently. "I'm sorry, ducks."
"I know," I replied. "I am too."
He hugged me tightly and I rubbed his back soothingly. I never knew Spike could be this remorseful either. It was almost as if he had a soul.
Finished: December 15, 2000
~~ Cordelia's Men ~~
~~ Chapter Nine ~~
I leaned against the wall of the crypt. I didn't hear any fighting or yelling so I peeked inside. Spike was searching the place, holding a stake menacingly. When he felt the place was safe enough he gestured for me to come inside. I entered and took a look around. Surprisingly, the place was furnished, although the couches were ripped and the stuffing was spilling out. The table was scratched and the chairs were missing legs, but Spike had managed to stack books under the seats so they were moderately even. He had a couple of lamps with cracks and an old TV that sat on what looked like a dessert tray.
"Nice place," I commented sarcastically. "Did you decorate it yourself?"
Spike just gave me a lazy smile as he looked through some drawers of on old dresser. He rifled through some clothes until he found what he was looking for and quickly stuck it inside his pocket. "You'd be amazed at what you can find at the end of people's driveways." he said.
"What's that?" I asked, pointing to his pocket.
"What's what?" he played dumb...he knew exactly what I was talking about.
"The thing you stuck in your pocket. Is that what you didn't want the vamps to take?" I asked, stepping towards him.
"Yeah, and some other things, but they're all here." he answered, looking everywhere but at me.
"Let me see it," I said, I slipped one hand around his waist inside his jacket and the other into his pocket. He realized what I was doing and tried to grab my hand but I was too quick and pulled it out. It was a picture. I flipped it over and looked at it. I gasped. It had been taken while Xander and I were dating, except his half had been torn off so I stood alone, smiling as the sun shone brightly on my long dark hair. "Where did you get this?" I asked him.
"When I first had the chip I was slightly suicidal so I had to stay at Xander's...he had this picture in a photo album and I grabbed it." he explained. "I always thought you were a hot little number...just didn't think you'd like me back."
I handed him the picture and hugged him. "That's the nicest thing I've heard in the last two days. Thank you."
He hugged me back and buried his face in my neck. I felt his chest expand as he breathed in my perfume. "You smell so good," he whispered. I stepped back from him and pulled my hair away from my neck. Spike watched me earnestly.
I bared my neck to him and took a deep breath. He understood my intention immediately. "Are you sure?" he asked, taking a step toward me.
I closed my eyes and nodded. "Just don't take too much," I warned him.
I heard him growl as he vamped out and gently grabbed my arms to hold me. I whimpered as his fangs pierced my neck. I jumped a little, but he held me against his body to support me. I felt blood drip down my shoulder as he drank noisily. Different feelings raced through me: pain, pleasure, excitement, and fear. He stopped and held me so I wouldn't fall. He hadn't taken much but I still felt weak.
I heard a voice calling my name and I realized it was Buffy's. "Cordelia, are you okay?" she asked. I turned my head to look at her by my neck was sore. Seeing my pain, Buffy ran to Spike and punched him in his vamped out face, sending him to the ground, and catching me as I fell. She set me down on the couch and Spike stood up as she took out a stake from her belt. "So you finally got that chip out, Spike?" she asked. "Well it's too late...you've pilfered your last pint."
I realized that Xander had been lying. Buffy didn't even know about his chip being removed. She hit him with a roundhouse kick and he hit the floor again. "No, Buffy," I whispered, but she didn't hear me. My throat felt very dry.
Riley entered the crypt and helped me stand up. "Are you okay?" he asked. I nodded my head.
"Tell Buffy to stop," I said quietly in his ear. "I let Spike bite me, that's why it didn't hurt him."
Riley looked at me...he was kind of cute, but nowhere near as handsome as Spike. "You've lost a lot of blood," he said. "You don't know what you're saying. I'll get you to a hospital." He started to guide me out the door as Buffy hit Spike again. I pried Riley's hands off of my arm...his grip wasn't that tight but it took all of my strength to loosen it.
She didn't even allow him to stand up long enough to prove if he had his chip or not. If he even tried to hit her, the chip would send a shock through his brain and she'd know for sure. I watched as she kicked and punched him repeatedly. She wasn't just fighting him; she was enjoying it. "I've been wanting to do this for a long time now," she said, straddling him on the ground. She held the stake in her right hand above Spike's heart. He didn't make a move to stop her and I realized that he was unconscious.
She had beaten him to death...or would have if he had been alive.
I weakly ran over to Buffy. Just as she was about to plunge the stake into his heart, I grabbed her arm. She nearly pulled me to the ground with it and looked up at me angrily. "Cordelia, I don't stop you from doing your job, don't stop me from doing mine."
"He still has his chip," I explained quickly.
"Yeah, and I'm the President," she said sarcastically.
My eyes never broke contact with hers and she realized my seriousness.
"Then how come he bit you?" she asked.
"I let him," I sighed, this explanation was going to take all night.
Spike woke up and shoved Buffy off of him. He stood up quickly and helped me stand straight. "Are you alright?" he asked, his eyes were filled with concern.
"Yes, but you aren't," I said. His face was covered in bruises and cuts and his shirt was torn and blood-soaked. I gently put my hand on his cheek and he winced at my touch.
"I can handle it," Spike said smiling.
I remembered that Buffy and Riley were there and turned to them. "So, Xander told you about Spike and I so you decided to come kill him?"
"I saw him draining you...I thought--" she began.
"You think? Good for you Buffy," I said sarcastically. I was feeling much better now that I was back in Spike's arms...and quite bitter too. "Maybe you should be thinking a little bit more about your job and realize that Angel's been following you for the past week." I bit my lip. I hadn't meant to rat Angel out...but I was angry with both of them. Buffy's jaw dropped and her face became emotionless.
"Angel's here?" she asked in an almost hopeful whisper. Suddenly she snapped out of it. "No! Not again...I can't wait around and watch him leave me again!" She spun around to walk out of the crypt and in a blind fury, tripped on the stairs leading to the doors. Before she hit the concrete, Angel knelt down and caught her in his arms.
~~ Chapter Ten ~~
Buffy looked up into Angel's eyes and swallowed hard. He helped her stand up and she took a couple steps back from where he stood.
"Angel, hi," she said, trying to sound casual.
"Buffy, are you okay?" he asked.
She nodded her head and looked over to Riley. He stood taller and his face was filled with worry as he looked over at his Slayer. I'm sure he hoped that she was his now, although she truly loved him. He probably thought that she would forget all about him and run to Angel, just as she always had when she was worried, scared, hurt...or telepathic. But she didn't. She walked over to Riley and took his hands in hers, looking only at him.
"Riley," she began, giving him a big smile. "I need to talk to Cordy, Spike, and Angel." She looked at her watch and looked back at him. "Why don't you wait for me at my place. I won't be much longer." She gave him a nervous peck on the cheek.
He blindly nodded his head and left the room. He glared at Angel, and walked by him...or into his shoulder rather. Angel only returned the glare and growled as he watched him walk past.
"Now, now, Peaches," Spike snickered. "Let Captain Cardboard through nicely and maybe the Slayer won't kick your ass."
Angel half-grinned but quickly wiped it off of his face as Buffy glared at him. "Look Angel," she said sternly. "I don't know when or why you started following me around--"
"Buffy--" he protested.
She held up a hand to stop him. "But you'd better explain it soon because I can't have you running around behind my back trying to protect me...again."
Angel sighed then looked over at Spike and I. He still held me but I was strong enough to stand on my own...I just didn't want to. "Cordy wrote and told me about Spike and I came to make sure he didn't hurt her." he explained quickly.
Buffy nodded her head sarcastically. "And I'm sure that following me around for a week was the best way to protect her before she'd even left LA? You know, I've been sensing things all week but I figured that it was just Spike running around, stealing people's old furniture...I should've know it was you checking up on me."
"Buffy," he said a little harshly. Probably a little harsher than he'd meant to, but he stood his ground. "Cordelia's stopped having her visions and I just wanted to see if you were safe." His face lightened a little as if he thought that she'd be happy that he was stalking her and throwing off her senses for her own protection.
"I can handle myself...I am a Slayer, you are a vampire. I stake you guys for breakfast." she said bitterly. Angel's face fell at her tone. She'd just hurt him by comparing him to the soulless creature he used to be.
Spike looked at me, shifting uncomfortably. "Maybe we should go," he suggested, nodding towards the door.
"You're not going anywhere with her," Angel ordered. He saw the dried blood on my neck and glared at Spike. "Cordelia, get away from him." He started walking towards us but Buffy held out her arm across his chest to stop him.
"No, he's harmless," she said. I was quite surprised that Buffy had actually taken Spike's side for once. I looked at them and saw the millions of emotions run through Buffy's face as she looked at her hand on Angel's chest. I watched as her nerves registered his cool touch and she shuddered. Angel did the same and swallowed hard. Buffy quickly pulled her hand away and turned to face Spike and I. Angel just kept staring at her and I saw him lean a little closer towards her...breathing in her scent as if it would be the last time he'd have a chance to. "You are harmless right?" she asked Spike.
Spike sighed angrily. "Yes!" he yelled. "For the thousandth bloody time--yes!"
I smirked at him and he turned his head to wink at me so only I could see.
"Then why did--" Angel began to ask.
"God Angel, is this ignorance thing new, or did I just never notice it before?" I said. I was just as annoyed as Spike was. "I let him bite me. My theory was right: no intent to actually hurt me, no chip jolt for him."
"I didn't even take a whole cup," Spike argued. "I'm not that stupid."
Angel and Buffy both scoffed at the same time, looked at each other nervously, then turned their attention back to Spike.
"Okay," I said, feeling very annoyed. "Maybe Spike did some bad things in his past."
"Like torturing and trying to kill me...twice." Angel said.
"And resurrecting the Judge," Buffy added. "That was pretty stupid."
"Maybe he did...but he's helped you lots of times Buffy, and you know it," I said. "He's risked his neck helping you...demons and vampires are hunting him down trying to kill him and all you can think about is the bad stuff!"
"I only did it because I couldn't hurt humans," Spike grumbled. I shot him a disapproving look and he quickly shut up. I was trying to defend him and he wasn't even helping.
"Look, Angel, I'm sorry for ratting you out, but Buffy would've found out sooner or later. And Buffy, I'm sorry for everything that I ever did to you and your friends, but I'm happy with Spike. And if you two can't accept that, then maybe you shouldn't even bother." I grabbed Spike's arm and started walking towards the door. He followed me out the door and when we got outside I nearly collapsed...I was still pretty weak without him to lean on.
He picked me up and carried me to my car. As he drove to the motel he looked over at me. "Thanks," he said. "For standing up for me. No one has ever stood up for me before...not even Dru," he said. "All she cared about was feeding, Angelus and her creepy dolls. I don't think she ever really loved me. She was just lonely. Darla had Angelus, and she had no one." I watched him as he confessed this to me. I saw a tear slide down his cheek and I reached over and wiped it away.
"I love you," I said. "There's nothing I wouldn't do for you."
~~ Chapter Eleven ~~
As we pulled into the motel parking lot he glanced over at me. "Are you sure you don't want to go anywhere else and wreak havoc on your friends?" he asked hopefully.
"No," I said, grinning at his mischievous question. "I want to stay in tonight. I'm too tired to do anything but sleep."
He parked my car, walked me into the room, and sat down on the bed beside me after bringing me some orange juice. I smiled at him. "You're just like Dennis...always so worried about my health and bringing me things." Spike's smile faltered in spite of his best attempts to hide his hurt feelings. I put my hand on his arm and looked at his handsome face. "Oh, Dennis is a ghost...he was my invisible roommate in LA."
Spike sighed in relief as I took a sip. "I thought that he was another boyfriend or something."
I laughed out loud, almost choking on the juice. "Me...and Dennis?" I shook my head. "He's too dead for me."
"I'm dead too, you know," he reminded me.
"Yeah, but you're undead, and I can see you...and I'm thankful for that cause you're so phat."
"I'm fat? I haven't seen myself in a mirror lately, but last time I noticed I was in pretty good shape." he said and I laughed.
"No! P-H-A-T. It means 'pretty hot and tempting'. I picked it up in LA." I explained. "Some guy called me that and I cried all the way home. Doyle asked me what was wrong and so I told him, and he told me that that was what the guy probably meant--and I'm probably boring the Hell out of you aren't I?"
Spike smiled as he kissed me on my forehead. I didn't realize how insecure Spike could be. This wasn't like him at all.
I set down my glass and turned back to Spike. I looked at him lying beside me. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him, pulling him against me. I kissed him with everything I felt for him and he kissed me back twice as passionately. I shivered as his cool hand grazed my stomach and landed on my waist. He pulled his lips away from mine and placed light kisses on my neck. The bite marks were small but still very sore and I gasped when he kissed them. He stopped and looked at me worriedly.
"Are you alright?" he asked.
I nodded and smiled as I kissed him again. Suddenly there was a knock at the door and I let out an aggravated growl sound...not unlike a vampire's. Spike stood up and answered the door and I heard him talking to three different voices, and although I couldn't hear what they were saying I knew exactly who it was...Angel, Buffy, and Xander.
Spike held the door open and they walked in, smiling their apologies. I looked down at my shirt and picked off invisible lint. "Cordy," Xander said. "How are you feeling?"
I shrugged my shoulders and Spike closed the door behind them.
"I'm sorry Cordy," Xander said. "But it was such a shock to see you with him and I said the first thing that popped into my thick skull." I smiled a little but continued to pick at the invisible lint.
"We're all really sorry, Cordelia," Buffy said. "We didn't know the truth and we jumped to conclusions. We only wanted to protect you."
"I know," I responded. "But I've been around vampires and demons for almost as long as you have, Buffy, and I'm still alive."
Spike walked around them, took off his duster and sat down in the armchair across from my bed. "I want to apologize to you too, Spike," Angel said. "Buffy and I both feel bad about what we did."
Spike looked over at me. His cuts had healed and his new bruises were quickly fading, just like the first one. We sat silent for a few minutes until Xander spoke up. "Look guys, were not getting any younger, well, at least us humans aren't, so what do you say? Can we be somewhat friends again?"
I smiled. "You know, you guys always choose the worst times to interrupt us...but at least you knocked this time." Spike stayed in the chair but I stood up and hugged them each in turn. First Buffy, hers was friendly and warm...a friend's hug. Angel, his was safe and supportive...a brother's hug. Xander, his was nervous and loving...a Xander hug.
Buffy walked over to Spike and held out her hand. "Truce?" she asked, then added, "Temporarily, mind you. But as soon as that chip stops working, I'm coming after you with a toothpick."
He slid his hand into hers and they shook. "I wouldn't have it any other way, Slayer." he said, grinning.
She pulled him to his feet and he shook Angel's hand as well. Angel leaned next to his ear and I heard him whisper, "Hurt her and you die, got it?"
"You don't have to worry about that. I'd never hurt her...I'm usually the one to get hurt." He winked at me and I smiled back.
Xander stuck out his hand and took a step forward. Spike didn't take it though. "I'm not going to forgive you," he said seriously. He raised a fist and glared as he stalked threateningly toward him. "I don't know why Angel hasn't killed you yet though...you're the one that hurt her."
Xander looked over at me quickly. "You told him?"
"I...I might have mentioned it." I said.
He turned to Spike and held up his hands in front of himself as a form of negotiation. "It was only a kiss...it didn't mean anything."
"You'd better go," Spike suggested to him. Xander nodded and turned to leave.
"Xander," I called after him. He stopped and looked back at me. "Say hi to Anya for me, okay?" I asked.
"For sure." he said in his cute lisp, smiling his half-smile. He walked out the door and I gave Spike a quick look of disappointment.
"I'd better get going, too," Buffy said. "Riley's waiting for me."
I saw Angel close his eyes as Buffy spoke. He was clearly hurting inside. "See you later, Buffy," I called as she left. I turned my attention to Angel. I took his cool hand in mine and squeezed it sympathetically. "I'm really sorry Angel. I was scared and angry and--"
"It's okay," he replied. "You're right, she would've found out sooner or later."
"I'll write you when I've found a place to live and you can call me anytime you want to talk...that goes for Wesley and Gunn, too. And say hi to Dennis for me once in a while, if no one's moved in yet that is. I don't know how I'd feel if some guy came around at night to talk to a ghost in my apartment." I laughed lightly and Angel smiled. "You should do that more often," I said. "It looks good on you."
"The sun will be up in a few hours," he replied. "I want to get home before it does. You know I love you, right?"
I nodded and gave him another hug. This one was tighter and he rested his chin on my head. "I love you too, Angel," I whispered. "Thanks for being my hero."
"No problem, kiddo," he said. "It's my job."
He pulled away from me and kissed my cheek, then turned and left the room.
"Bye Spike, take care of my little sister, or I'll have Buffy pay you a non-social visit."
He left the room chuckling and closed the door. Spike stepped up behind me, wrapped his arms around my waist and rested his chin on my shoulder. "That was way too mushy for my liking. But I'm glad they're gone and that you're feeling better."
I turned around to face him. "You're shirt is still covered in blood, Spike, and if you get any on my jacket I'm going to--"
He kissed me suddenly and I lost my train of thought. I walked forward, forcing him to walk backward towards the bed. This time, he slid my jacket off and laughed as he fell backwards onto the bed...well okay, I pushed him onto it.
He took my hands and pulled me so I was leaning over him. I held myself up with my hands and kissed him until he pulled them out from under me and I landed on top of him. He grinned and continued to kiss me. I sat up and he watched as I took out my ponytail and let my hair fall over my shoulders.
"You are so beautiful," he whispered as he too sat up and held me close as he kissed me. "Or should I call you phat?" I couldn't help but giggle as he whispered the words onto my neck. Suddenly he flipped us over so I was on my back and he stood up to turn off the lights and close the heavy curtains. "It wouldn't be any fun to wake up with the sunlight shining on a huge pile of dust, now would it?"
As my eyes adjusted to the sudden darkness I stood up and he walked over to me. I slipped off his shirt and wife-beater between kisses. From the tiny amount of light entering the room I could see every toned muscle on his chest, arms, and stomach and I nearly melted. He hugged me tightly as his still-human teeth grazed the side of my neck that had not been bitten. I pushed him away lightly and held up a warning finger. "No more hickeys for you, buster," I said. "People will start to think I'm a human pincushion." He growled softly as he kissed me again.
~~ Chapter Twelve ~~
I woke up the next morning and Spike was still sleeping with his arms wrapped around me. He hadn't let go of me all night and at first I had trouble sleeping pressed against his cool skin. But after a while I became relaxed and felt safer in his arms than I ever did with Xander. I'd always thought that one day Xander would realize how special Willow really was and that he'd leave me for her...and one day he did. Maybe not literally, but I always felt that his heart had. In Spike's arms I knew that it would never happen because vampires don't fall in love with humans...so if one does, it must be special. *At least Spike makes me feel special whenever I'm around him...I hope I make him feel special.* I thought.
As I was thinking, Spike woke up and looked into my eyes. "Cecily?" he asked with a confused look on his face.
"Who?" I asked him back. "Who's Cecily?"
He snapped out of his daze and looked at me like he had last night. "Cordelia," he said softly. "I feel different."
"Well, Spike, last night was pretty different for both of us." I said, blushing a little. I had never slept with a vampire before and he'd never slept with a human before...unless... "Who's Cecily?" I asked.
"Before I was turned, I was in love with her. She didn't want anything to do with me. Said I was beneath her." he explained. He looked away from me.
"What's wrong?" I asked.
"I killed her," he admitted. "She broke my heart and didn't think twice about stomping all over it. I told her that I loved her and she laughed at me...she destroyed me. That same night, Dru found me."
I cupped his chin and turned his face back to me. "If Dru hadn't found you, we wouldn't be here together."
"I know...but as soon as I woke up as a vampire I went after her." he said. His eyes dazed over as he remembered her and he seemed to be looking right through me. "I stalked her for that whole night until she let down her guard. She thought I was still the pushover that I used to be and so when I offered to walk her home she accepted...after being dared by her friends." He grinned at her mistake. It sent a chill up my spine, but not in the usual, exciting way. "I was so furious at her. I pulled her into the first alley we passed and I bit her. She was scared and confused and hurt...and I fed off of it. All of her emotions that passed through her mind passed through her blood and into my mouth. I enjoyed her fear and pain."
"That's pretty gross, Spike," I said. "That might not be a story you'd want to tell to a girl the morning after you sleep with her...it's bound to scare her off."
Spike snapped out of his daze suddenly...almost as if my voice had woken him up. He grabbed my arms roughly and started talking to me as if I was Cecily. "It was your own fault!" he growled angrily. "If you hadn't mocked me and wrecked me, you'd have lived to see the next year!"
"Spike!" I yelled. "Wake up!" I whimpered as his fingers only gripped my arms tighter. "You're hurting me!"
Suddenly Spike let out a yell and his hands flew to his temples. His chip had shocked him...it was about time. I had begun to doubt if he still had it or not. I looked down at my arms and saw the beginnings of bruises.
Spike recovered from the jolt and looked over at me. "Cordy," he said. "I'm so sorry, I don't know what came over me. Are you okay?"
I nodded slowly, rubbing my tender arms. "It was my fault...I startled you."
Spike sighed and covered his eyes with his hand. "No," he said...it was more to himself than me. "I promised my mother that I wouldn't be like him."
"Who?" I asked although I already knew the answer.
"My father," he answered. "When I was little, he used to beat her and threaten her. He'd come home from the pub drunk and they'd fight. I had to stay upstairs and listen to it. He'd scream at her for stupid things." He swallowed hard before continuing and I squeezed his hand to let him know that he had my support. "Afterwards she'd come upstairs and pretend that nothing happened. She'd tuck me in and go to bed after he'd pass out downstairs. When I finally moved out, I visited every night so I could fight him off of her the next time it happened. I promised her that I'd protect her but she said 'Don't protect me, protect your wife...don't become him.' So I promised, and here I am today."
I was almost afraid to ask my next question, but I had to know. "Did you kill him too?"
"No, he died long before I was turned. My mother died shortly after him." he explained. "I thought you were--"
"Spike, it was an accident. You didn't mean to and I understand it." I said to him.
He looked down at my bruised arms and touched them gently. "I'm sorry, ducks."
"I know," I replied. "I am too."
He hugged me tightly and I rubbed his back soothingly. I never knew Spike could be this remorseful either. It was almost as if he had a soul.