A Life Less Ordinary: Chapter 14
By Sulia Serafine
[12-14-00. This is a Protector of the Small fanfic; all credit goes to Tamora Pierce. I'm broke, so you can't sue me.
Oh, one more thing: BAD LANGUAGE (I. E. cursing, swearing…). You have been warned! Lots of swearing in this one!!!!]
Joren rolled over in bed. Sunbeams presently struck his face from the window. The warmth and light roused him slowly. He blinked away his blurred vision and yawned. Stretching like a cat, he realized he was too lazy to do anything more than sit up. And so, he did and looked around him. He spied the girl slumbering in the bed next to his. He didn't see this often because she was always up before him. "Hey, Kel. Wake up."
She awoke with a jerk. Keladry wasn't used to being woken up by others-- especially Joren. "What time is it? I can't believe I overslept."
"Were you up late last night?" he asked as he managed to swing his legs over the edge of his bed. Now the next test came in whether or not he wanted to stand up and abandon his cozy bed. He sighed and stood up.
"I hope it wasn't late," Keladry mumbled. She clambered out of bed. Then she smoothed down the covers and arranged the pillows. "I'm sorry. I was out with Owen again."
Joren watched her jog behind the screen to change clothing. "Yeah, about that, Kel. The snow is melting. We'll be leaving soon. Have you told Owen this?"
She bit her lip. She was hoping he would not ask that question. At the moment she held her shirt over her head. Keladry slowly slipped it on and continued to dress without responding to his question. Joren grew impatient.
"Well?"
"No," she said and walked out from behind the screen. She got on her knees. With a flick of her wrist, the top of her trunk flipped back and she sorted through her things to find her favorite gray vest. She put it on, completely ignoring the blonde young man standing a few feet away. He had a cross look on his face.
"Then do it today." He paused, softening his voice so he would not sound so stern. "I know how much you care about him. Tell him today. The more you wait, the more it will hurt him."
Keladry winced inwardly. She had waited a good week and still had not told Joren about her 'engagement'. And now that they were supposed to leave, it would hurt Joren more than if she had told him a week ago. He was expectant that she would come with him to find their way home. That was the way things were-- the way they had always been.
"For years," she thought sadly. She stood up, having closed the trunk. "I'm not telling him."
"What?" Joren stared at her. "Are you just going to leave without him knowing?" He put his hands on his hips. "Oh, I get it. You don't want a long sappy goodbye, so you'll just avoid it altogether. That's a good idea, but I have to admit it isn't like you."
Finding courage, Keladry looked up at him. "I'm not going to leave."
It seemed like everything stopped. All the events in the universe rested where they were to listen to the intensity of silence between the two companions. If there were noise and movement outside that room, then it was forgotten from history and written word. All the world existed in that moment and everything before and after was completely irrelevant from this life.
Keladry's throat was dry. She swallowed hard, trying to find more courage deep within her to continue speaking. Unfortunately, it remained wishful thinking. She stayed quiet, nervous and feeling guilty about that expression of hurt and betrayal in the young man's face. The shame grew until it was no longer possible for her to look at him anymore. She lowered her gaze to the floor. Keladry became determined to keep her stone mask. It was not a good idea to be emotional at that moment. If she was going to stay, she had to be firm against Joren-- even if it unnerved her like nothing else had ever before.
The silence drove her crazy. He continued to stare at her, but now there was a mixture of disbelief in his features. She corrected her gaze and second time and tried to keep her eyes on his feet.
"No," Joren whispered at last. Keladry breathed a sigh of relief. She had anticipated screaming and shouting. She was wrong.
"No, you can't! What's wrong with you? We have to go home, damn it!"
And there was the screaming and shouting. She was right.
"Joren, you don't understand. I have to stay--" she began.
"No! No, you don't! No!" The single syllable word became a repetitious chant for him. "Why stay? We have everything waiting for us on the road! You know we do not belong here." His voice was hissing at her like a cobra.
She pursed her lips. He continued.
"Are you mad?!"
"Perhaps," she replied.
He glared at her. "I can't believe you would even consider such a stupid thing. Why? Why?"
"Damn him!" she thought. He was making her so angry from his shouted insults that she didn't care how she hurt him now. She raised her left hand violently for him to see the ring. She shook her hand. "This is why! So leave me alone!"
Joren gaped at it. "Don't tell me he… he…"
"He didn't. He just asked me to stay and see what happened. And I said yes," she said calmly and evenly. Keladry lowered her hand and concentrated on holding up her stone mask. But Joren knew how to see past it. He'd been around long enough to see through it.
"I can't believe you of all people actually did that!" he yelled. His cheeks were becoming flushed with his shouts.
"Why?!" She screamed back. The mask fell away. "Is it so hard for you to believe that I can find happiness and you can't? That I'm going to forget about being a knight? Well, I'll tell you what Joren. It's too late for that. Look at us! We aren't Tortallians anymore. We aren't…" She shook her head. "Don't you see? It's too late. We aren't going home."
Joren backed away. He pointed a blaming finger at her. "No! I'm not giving up! Giving up is for weaklings. We're going home. We!"
She narrowed her eyes at him. "Oh, I didn't know you cared, Joren. But you know what else? You're not in charge of me. I don't care if you're older. I don't care that you had the greater fucking seniority. Just because you say we are going home does not mean I have to do what you say!"
His name sounded like a curse to him from her lips. He returned her harsh words with a few of his own. "I agree with you. You don't. It's none of my damn business if you marry Owen and never go home." He started for the door. "It's fucking sad, Kel. You don't love him. You damn well know it. You love Neal. You always loved Neal. I damn well know it better than you'll ever know." He flung the door open. "I'll go home and tell your family and tell Neal everything! It's pathetic. One day, you'll wake up and realize you've wasted your life with the shadow of the man you really care about. "
"Fine! Go ahead! I don't care! Get out!"
"Fine, I will!" He stormed out of the door, slamming it behind him. Before Keladry could let out a deep shuddering breath, the door opened again and Joren gave her the coldest stare.
"And by the way, have a nice life. No, let me correct that. Have a nice fake life."
And then he was gone.
~~
She left to wander the streets all morning. When she returned, all his belongings were gone. He had already left. Keladry hardened her heart. She was still reminded of how terrible they had fought that day. That must have been the worst bout of verbal abuse they had ever done.
"All we ever do is fight. We never learned to do anything else," she thought. Mechanically like an automaton, she walked downstairs and informed the innkeeper that she would be moving into a one-bed room. He looked at her oddly, then seemed to understand through the hollowness in her voice. He told her which one she could move into and she thanked him.
After an hour of moving her accumulated belongings into the new room, she set out to find herself a job. That entire winter, Joren had been out doing odd jobs while Keladry uncharacteristically spent her time with Owen. She would never ask Owen for money, so she had to find employment. Before the sunset, she found a job surprisingly with both the blacksmith and the weapons dealer-- they were brothers. They recognized her knowledge of weapons and skill. She didn't even say a word before they asked her if she were a former soldier. Keladry confirmed that she was a mercenary.
And they actually smiled.
It was strange how anyone could smile that day. She thought that everyone in the whole entire city knew what happened to her, that perhaps they all heard the argument shouted loud enough for the world to hear. A little voice inside her asked, "Don't they know? Don't these people know anything? Isn't it obvious that I've just lost everything from these last four years?"
Keladry was informed that she was to start as soon as possible. They agreed on hours of work and a salary. With that, she left.
Again, she started wandering until she wound up at her potential husband's home. She trudged up the steps and knocked wearily on the wood. "It's me."
There were footsteps. Owen opened the door. But his smile turned into a frown when he saw that she didn't greet him as warmly as she always did. "Is something wrong?"
She blinked. "No."
He opened the door wider and let her in. As they walked into the sitting room, he asked again. "What is it?"
"I told you, it's nothing."
He hated it when she didn't trust him enough to say what she felt.
"Please, tell me."
"I don't want to," she glared at him.
He hated it when she treated him like everyone else instead of the man she loved.
"Why not?"
"Because."
And he hated her mask of hidden emotions. It was difficult to love her like he did-- very, very difficult. As if never noticing before, Keladry saw the hurt on Owen's face and sighed. She took a moment to think out what she was going to say.
"My… brother… and I had a falling out of sorts."
Owen became filled with concern. "I hope it wasn't too bad. What happened?"
"He's gone," she said bluntly and sat down on one of his chairs. Owen dragged a chair right next to her and also sat.
"That bad? Oh, Gods, Keladry I'm sorry."
"It's all right, Owen. Thanks."
She watched him get up to get them drinks and idly started to stare out the window at the birds in the sky. Keladry wondered where her greatest friend had gone.
~~
Days. Maybe weeks. He didn't keep track. He just kept riding until he reached the one sanctuary he knew he could rest in without fear. And after what seemed like an eternity, he reached it.
The familiar stream flowed before him. Joren squatted down and squinted at it. Yes, that was the same stream. With an assured mind, he went behind a large tree and brought out the two hidden fishing poles he knew were kept there. One he stuck in the ground like a spear, the other he took into his hands as he sat on the bank and let his line drop in the water.
He waited a few seconds before calling out, "Well, are we going to fish or what?"
Egavar appeared beside him, taking the second fishing pole out of the ground. The Nodestrum sat down beside him and also let his line fly. "Yes, fish. I didn't cook dinner yet."
There was a comfortable silence between the two friends. Joren knew that the older man would understand-- understand that Joren didn't want to talk about it and at the moment, he just needed to be there like it was any other day.
It was getting dark. The sky already became tinted with orange, then red, then finally purple. Egavar stood up and held his catches up to the dying light. "These are good. I hope you have a nice appetite."
Joren looked back at the stream as he put their poles away. "How is it that there are always the best fish in this tiny stream?"
"Magic."
He smiled at the response. Joren whistled to his horse, which started trotting down the widened path meant for it to the cottage. They started walking. "Hey, Egavar. You don't mind that I stay with you for a while, do you? I can sleep in the tree. I happen to like that tree."
"Sure, I don't mind. You just have to tell me sooner or later what's wrong-- and by the way, sooner is preferred."
"Yeah, I figured as much," Joren nodded.
"You can start with where Keladry is."
"Days away from here, settling down with some guy," he answered. "She's given up on going home."
"Wait," Egavar stopped in the middle of the trail. Joren stopped as well and looked back at him. "Is this about you disliking the guy she's going to marry or you wanting her to continue the quest for home with you?"
"Go home with! What else?" Joren snapped. "After all these years-- to just give up like that!"
Egavar clapped a hand down on his shoulder. "There's more to it than that. There always is."
"Oh? Like what?"
"You tell me," he shrugged and continued walking down the path. "And by the way, if you snore, I'll cut down the tree."
"I don't snore anymore."
"You're lying."
"How do you know?" Joren asked with a chuckle.
"Because you're definitely not holding a Truth Stone."
"Oh, nice one," he replied sarcastically.
"Hey, I've had years of practice."
"More like decades, huh, old-timer?"
"Don't start."
Egavar continued to walk ahead while Joren followed. The blonde now had his own sort of stone mask of hidden thoughts and emotions, modeled after his former companions. He carefully put it on, hoping to never take it off again.
~~
Author: 12/15/00 I hope I continue to please you all. I know this seems like a major drop in the story (a. k. a. depression), but things do pick up. And since I have always categorized this series as an action/adventure, perhaps I will return to that setting. Until then, thanks for reading and reviewing. Happy Holidays to all, there's more to come.