"A Fistful of Sand" ~ by Allora Atwater
A/N: Ahh, here it is, finally! The moment you've all been waiting for! The finished product of my first "Quiefer" fic! It's been fun to write, thanks for all the great reviews! I guess I'll make a sequel if you guys want it, or just a couple of one-shots since this'll be hard to continue off of… And yes, I get it, I get it, putting out "Operation: Escape Assembly" before posting this was a bad idea. But you don't understand how badly I needed a break from writing this, it was getting me all worked up! Especially since this part is in Seifer's POV, it's difficult to keep him in character while still pertaining to the storyline. Anyways, enough blabbering from me!
Disclaimer: I own nothing except the little poem below. Yes, it's mine, something original for once!
A fistful of sand and a heart made of stone
Petrified soul from the years I've spent alone
Ever so close to determining what's real
But disposing of the words that describe how I feel
Why, oh why did Hyne put man on earth to work for a living? Work sucks. Like you wouldn't believe. Especially working on the dock, sweating up a storm, the sun sizzling on your back, and those damn seagulls circling around the inlet, actin' like they own the place. If only I had my gunblade…
Did I mention work sucks? I lift a heavy parcel and set it on my knee for a second, shifting my arms to get a better grip. Why Dollet needs so many damn cosmetics is beyond me. What, didja actually think we were exporting something of value? Nah, not in Balamb. A ton of perspiring pigdogs are racin' around this joint, packing crate after crate into this insanely monstrous vessel just so some broad can paint her face.
I'm more compelled to admire a woman who doesn't feel like she's gotta wear 10 pounds of foundation or whatever girls call it… you get the gist. I mean, to me that shows real confidence. Like that uptight little Instructor… don't think I've ever seen a natural beauty like that. If the sun added to the physical exertion didn't make my face look like a cherry tomato, I'd prob'ly be blushing. Can't entertain thoughts about her right now, not when I'm tryin' to forget her.
I spit the salty taste out of my mouth. Workin' by the beach sure does stick with you, in more ways than you'd think. You end up smelling like fish and sea water for one. And for some reason, everything you eat just tastes a little too salty. I really need a new job. Something that don't require hours of manual labor. Anyways, this guy Casey that I work with, he's kind of a punk if y'know what I mean. Don't know when to keep his mouth shut. He's yellin' something at me, and I jump off the loading deck to talk to him.
"Hey Almasy, ain't that yer girlfriend over there?" he snickers, tilting his head towards the plank. I mentally smack myself upside the head when I see Quistis standing there, looking like a fish outta water.
"Ain't my girl." I mutter, biting the cap off a black permanent marker and labeling a crate, tossin' it to the worker behind me. I cap the pen and chuck it at Casey, who's caught by surprise and stumbles backwards into some mechanic.
I feel kinda bad, seeing the Instructor standing all by her lonesome, shivering like a scared puppy. Or something like that. She's obviously come here for me, unless she's found some other guy's head to fuck with. I guess I'm still pretty pissed about that night three weeks ago… I was tellin' her things that I never thought I would tell another person. I thought I'd die with those secrets; hell, I thought I'd die alone. But y'know, it's kinda funny the way these things work out. The minute I think we've connected and that we're finally forming some kinda relationship, she turns around and spits on it. Like everything we shared meant nothing.
I start walking towards her, taking notes on how bad she really does look. Her face is real discolored, a reddish tint in her cheeks. Looks like a mild case of windburn to me. I used to get that a lot, traveling on a sailboat. She's shaking and outta breath, and for the most part, she looks like she crawled outta bed and fell down several flights of stairs. But she's still as much of a knockout as she's always been.
She keeps her distance, which isn't real inviting. She almost looks like she's about to sneeze, with that Rudolph-the-Red-nosed-Reindeer honker she's got. I guess she's got a cold. Damn woman should be in bed, not up and about. Even I know that.
"KATCHOO!" she nearly blows us into Timber.
"Quistis?" I ask, tilting my head a bit in question. She rubs at her nose, and keeps her eyes on her feet.
"Unnuhhhhg." She moans; I feel bad for the poor idiot. She really looks like she's about had it, almost like she's gonna pass out. I put a hand on her shoulder to help her find her balance, and she flinches, almost like she's expectin' me to hit her.
"Seifer…" her voice is pretty high pitched, almost a funny rodent-like sound. But she's got this real desperate look in her eyes, like she's pleading with me to show her some mercy. She starts coughing and I roll my eyes.
"What are you doing here?" I try to maintain a neutral tone of voice, but it's just not working.
"I came to see you…" she whispers, so soft that I'm almost drawn in. But I reel back, just in time. I always knew women were nothin' but trouble. They get the perfect hold on your heart and then they crush it without warning or anything.
I feel the anger boiling up inside me; I guess it's mostly just my bruised ego that wants to hurt her, not my broken heart. Somehow that part of me is tryin' to pick up the pieces and reach out to her once more. Yeah right. I'm not in the state of mind to get smashed by a woman's wiles again.
"Oh really? After you bitch me out and completely avoid me for almost 3 weeks, you just decide out of the blue to interrupt my work looking like a half-dead grog?" I practically bellow. That really hits home. Her face contorts in that weird way when girls are about to cry, but they start tryin' real hard not to. That's right Quistis. Now you know how it feels. She opens her mouth like she's gonna jump on the defense, but I know her too well. She's got way too much dignity at stake. She already risked most of her pride coming down here to see me. And now, the only thing she can say to me is "Don't leave."
Somethin' about the way she says it, or the look on her face as she's saying it -- I dunno what it is -- but it really strikes a chord in my heart. Don't leave? She must be talking about those dockhands who're gonna go to Dollet for awhile. She thinks I'm one of em? Well now… this should be interesting. I decide to play along, test her to see where her heart really lies.
"Don't leave?" I snort in disbelief. "Why should I stay?"
Her eyes plead with me not to turn my back on her; I dunno if she's aware of it, but she's telling me with the look on her face that she wants to be the reason I'm "staying". If I wasn't busy putting up a front, I'd prob'ly start laughing. That's the thing I love most about Quistis, she wears her heart on her sleeve and tries so hard to cover it up that you have to pretend like you don't notice. But y'know, no matter how much I love the little sea urchin, I haven't gotten over our little spat. Maybe that's immaturity on my part, but I don't care. She really broke my soul; the one person in the entire world I felt I could trust, and she goes off and rips me to shreds with no prior warning.
"Almasy! How many times I gotta tell you boy? Get your ass back to work and swoon the ladies later!" my boss barks from somewhere in the distance. I wonder how he can keep that kinda watch on me from anywhere on the harbor. He must have eagle vision or somethin', added to impeccably bad timing. I shoot Quistis a glare, showing her that she's at fault for me getting in trouble. She disregards it and clutches my arm with a passion. I wince; she's really got a killer grip, for a girl.
"Please…" she croaks, still lacking oxygen. "Meet me below the docks when you're done… there's still so much we have to talk about…"
Ya got that right sister, I almost say, but even I know when certain things aren't appropriate and now is not the time to be makin' cracks. I watch her with a leveled gaze, trying not to give too much away, but silently letting her know I'll be there. I spin on my heel and head back to my wonderfully arduous labor, resisting the urge to look back. Not in fear that she'd see what was really goin' through my head, but in fear that I'd go running back to her. Think about it; if you were stuck between choosing a bunch of sweaty guys lifting crates versus a beautiful woman whose heart beats out of her chest for you, which would you take, door number one or door number two? I would definitely choose the latter, but that's an option I can't give myself just yet. If Seifer Almasy is anything, he's a fighter, and he's not gonna back down until he proves his point. So Little Miss Quisty Trepe will be in for quite a battle, but in the end, if all works out as planned, it'll be worth it.
I hop on top of a stack of crates and pull out my dinky little exacto blade to cut the twine that binds them together. If I had my gunblade with me, things would go a lot quicker. I look back to where Quistis had been standing and shake my head. I want to go back to Garden. I can't guarantee I'd be the most well-behaved student there, but I've grown up, and I'm ready to fulfill my true dreams. Maybe Quistis is right, if I go and make peace with the others I can start over. It's not like there's a law preventing me from going back, but there's a load of angry people there who would be ready and willing to smash my face in.
Life is too full of decisions. There are many roads you can take but in the end they all make the same stop. Maybe I shoulda taken philosophy…
I heft a few more boxes down our makeshift assembly line; Casey checks the contents, I label em and then hand em off to a guy whose name I can never remember, and he tosses em in the vessel. The number of parcels left to check, label, and pack is diminishing, and it's about damn time. I've been out working since the crack of dawn, and I could use a little shut-eye soon. The conditions are pretty miserable too; the sun is out bright and early, but harsh winter winds from the east are nearly blowing us into the ocean. Ah, the life of a dockhand.
Casey starts cracking up and I turn to see what he finds so funny. Oh, of course, an entourage of giggling 13-year-old girls. They come down this way a lot, hiding in the shadows and pointing out guys they think are cute. Sometimes they wave at me and Casey, and I usually wave back so they don't feel dumb or anything, but Casey likes to play along. I think he's into younger chicks; he'll probably end up marrying jailbait by the time he's 40.
Personally, I'm not into little adolescent preteens like them. Sure, when they get older they're bound to be cuties, but my interests lie elsewhere. So much so, that I don't pay them any mind today as they flash me their sheepish smiles. Casey shows off a little, winking and grinning like a hyena. I just smack him upside the head and give him a stern frown. He scowls, but returns to his task.
Five minutes and my shift is over; then I can take some time off to relax. Half of the dockhands that aren't being transferred to Dollet are gonna get laid off cause of the slow business down here… which also means Balamb will become another resort town to attract tourists. Prices'll go up, the population will increase. Before you know it, it'll turn into a replica of Deiling City. I hope to get out before any of this has a chance to brew; I'm sure I will, since the boss has a distaste for me anyways. Which is just perfect in accordance to my plans…
"Awwwooo!" Casey howls. "And we're off!"
He drops his clipboard and runs off the harbor, completely abandoning his work. I'm guessing he'll get laid off too; most of the younger guys are getting cut, and the loudmouths like me and Casey are probably first on the list. I don't let it get to me; it's a fact of life, and besides, there are more important things in this world than money. To prove my point, my mind conjures up an image of Quistis, lounging languidly in the sand, her eyes half-closed and a silly Cheshire-cat grin spread across her face. I wipe my hands off on a grease rag and take my leave.
No point in bein' here any longer when I have other things to attend to.
I try to sneak off undetected which isn't an amazingly tough feat; there's plenty of commotion going on with guys heading back into town and the second shift coming in. I make my way to the plank and hesitate. Once I jump, there's gonna be no turning back. I'm gonna hafta face my demons, my fears, and inevitably, my future. I sound stupid even in my own head; it isn't like I'm committing suicide, although if I screw up I'm as good as dead. But I smile, lift my arms out and feel the wind tearing at my work shirt, and let myself fall backwards into bliss.
And land flat on my ass.
I grunt in pain, but try not to let it show. I look in front of me, slightly dazed from the impact, but other than my temporarily shaky vision, I seem to be just fine.
"That was quite a fall." A soft voice observes from behind me. "But then again, I should know to expect nothing less from you."
Quistis is perched up in the rafters, arms hugging her knees and her hair falling to the sides of her face. She has a gentle, non-aggressive look on her face, meaning she's calmed down and regained her composure. It kills me to admit it, but seeing her so distraught really broke my heart all over again. Damn emotions, nothin' but trouble I tell ya.
"Yeah, well…" I trail off, rubbing the back of my neck like I do when I'm embarrassed. I really don't know how to take it from here. She seems relaxed enough, and I look up at her, trying not to cop an attitude.
"So what is it you wanted to tell me?"
She wriggles her toes and looks away, attempting to hide her frustration. My poor little Quistis, there's nothing you can keep from me, no matter how hard you try. I can see right through that mask you've constructed and I love the woman inside. Why don't you let her shine through more often?
"We… we have a lot to discuss." She starts, her voice wavering at first, but she steadies it quickly. "Mostly, I have a lot of things to explain."
"Yeah you do." I agree, a bit of my own frustrations seeping to the surface. She takes it as a sign of unwillingness, so I hafta prod her a bit to begin. "So get started already." I snap, and she curls her toes at my tone.
"Alright…" she takes a deep breath, her chest rising and falling dramatically. "I guess I should start by explaining my actions as of three weeks ago." She stops, swallows, and continues. "You were the first person who I allowed to get under my skin and see the real me. You were the first person I could truly relate to without feeling like a burden or bother. At first I was reluctant to let you in; I didn't want to get hurt and betrayed. I had this premonition that if I opened myself up to you, you would find some way to stab me in the back."
I cross my arms, feeling the anger, the hurt, well up in the pit of my stomach. It twists and knots and cramps until I think I'm gonna explode right there.
"So that's how you think I am? You still see me as the treacherous traitor of Balamb Garden?"
She opens her mouth to protest, to try and tell me that I'm wrong, but I keep going, my voice softening a little. I can't afford to chase her off now, not after I had put so much on the line.
"You should know me well enough by now to know that I wouldn't do something like that. Not to you."
She gets a hopeful gleam in those beautiful blue pools, and I peel my eyes away from hers before they suck me in. I twirl my hand, gesturing for her to continue.
"Anyways… I was very insecure with the relationship that formed between us. I figured you to be the last person I could ever…"
Love, I finish her sentence silently, seeing that she wasn't ready to tell me the obvious just yet. That's okay with me, she can take all the time in the world, cause I can see it written all over her face and I know it's there. I don't need the extra reassurance. She tucks her hair behind her ears and continues.
"That night… when we were running around outside of Balamb, I felt so real and happy. I felt like a teenage girl, not an Instructor who's old beyond her years. And when… when we reached the woods and I turned back to see how far behind you were, I didn't see you at all. And I called out for you, but you never answered. I should've known you'd pull something like that, knowing you. You're very unpredictable. But my doubts played tricks on me and I thought that you'd left me. I felt… bewildered and scared out of my wits. I couldn't believe it was getting to me as much as it was."
I watch her, a million different emotions passing over her. She looks so desperate, so pleading, and at the same time, so hopeless. Defeated. It's the first time I've ever seen tough, determined ol' Quisty looking so beaten down. And to think, it's me that's been causing her all this pain and confusion. Just a little longer, I just need a little more time, and then I'll make things right again.
"You thought I left? Why would I leave?"
She shakes her head. "I don't know. That's what I was asking myself the moment I noticed your absence. That horrible fear came crawling out from the back of my consciousness and tried convincing me that I was being abandoned. Guess that's what I get for growing up as an orphan."
I nod to myself distantly; I know exactly what she means. Once and orphan, always an orphan. You can never really shake the feeling of loneliness, never can stop those wistful thoughts of having a house with two parents and a white picket fence. She makes a small noise in the back of her throat and I know with absolute certainty that she's resolving to tell me how she really feels. I lean against the support and listen with interest.
"But… I've realized throughout these past weeks… just how much you really do mean to me. I mean… all of my friends at Garden… sure, they're there for me, but not in the way that you were. I guess I was too proud and scared to admit it to myself just how badly I was falling for you."
I lean forward, feigning a look of surprise. I won't let her know that she wasted her words; I knew exactly how she felt about me, and I knew that I felt the same about her.
"Are you saying you're in love with me Quistis?" I inquire, full knowing the answer. She looks distraught.
"I think so."
"You think?"
She looks at me with narrowed eyes.
"What does it matter now? You're leaving and I'm too late to stop you."
"Well, you never gave me something to stay for, now didja Quisty?"
I smile slyly at her and I can tell it's tormenting her.
"Would you stay if I gave you one?"
"Depends on your reasoning. I suppose I could compromise." She can finally see in my eyes that my teasing is lighthearted, and I'm just waiting for her to say it. She wants me to stay cause she doesn't wanna be without me.
"Stay then, Seifer. Stay for yourself, because you know you don't want to go. You know you'd be leaving behind the greatest thing that's ever happened to you."
My cheeks flush a little, and I fumble to cool down. She turned the tables and surprised me. Another thing I love about her.
"I was planning on it." I throw at her coolly. "Especially considering I wasn't even assigned to go to Dollet."
Her eyes are as round as saucers and her pupils are slit, like a cat's. She cranes her head forward a little in disbelief.
"You mean you…"
"Were lying to see how serious you were about this? Guilty." I flash her my best "I-got-ya" smile and shrug.
Her face contorts into an angry snarl, her upper lip curled in disgust. There's this predatory glow in her sky-blue eyes and I realize that I'm in a very bad spot at the moment. She hoists herself off the beam and lands on top of me, pinning me to the sand.
"I can't believe you!" she yelps, punching me half-heartedly in the abdomen. It's kinda funny until she gains momentum and starts swinging at me harder and in rapid succession. She definitely has quite an arm. I guess she works out more often than I thought. "Don't you ever pull that crap with me again Seifer Almasy! I swear, I will give you the beating of your life!"
I let her blow off steam before I grab her waist and flip her over, holding her down with a well-placed elbow, my knees at either side of her hips. Her cheeks are flushed a sultry crimson and her eyes are misting over. I just smile at her from above.
"You know, you never bothered to ask me the same thing I asked you."
"What?" she breathes, a little confused.
"You never asked me if I felt the same way as you did. Does it not matter to you?"
She looks at me with those precious eyes and shakes her head.
"That's not it…I was just afraid of the answer."
"You really need to work on this assertiveness problem you've developed. There's no way you'll ever learn anything if you don't have the guts to ask for it."
I lower my head towards hers, my lips hovering just above her own. I can feel her quivering, shallow breath, as if she's afraid one move and I'll vanish. Our eyes lock and she finally resolves to ask me the one question I can answer without hesitation.
"Do you love me Seifer?" her voice is timid, but I can tell she's having a hard time controlling herself. I grin and seal the space that separates our lips.
Now, I won't lie and say it's the most memorable moment of my life. But it's damn close, and far too perfect to ever forget. I tangle one of my hands in her mass of hair, using the other to prop myself up with. She flings her arms around my neck to make sure I don't try to escape. I couldn't have asked for a better first kiss. Surprised? You shouldn't be. With all the training and hard work I had to put in at the Garden, there was never time to consider dating. Hell, there wasn't even time to consider the opposite sex period. But as every nerve in my body tingles with delight, I don't care about the past. I have no sense of time right now, and for that matter, no care.
I finally release her and she falls back into the sand, her hair fanning around her like strand of spun gold.
"You better not even think of leaving me now." She whispers, searching my eyes.
"I have no where else I'd rather be." I reply, the first heartfelt thing I've voiced today. I bury my face in her hair and her arms wrap around me tightly.
"You never answered me, you know." She giggles as I place a kiss in the crook of her neck.
I pull away, looking at her from above, the sun highlighting our figures. I take both of her hands in mine and lace our fingers together.
"Yes, Quistis Trepe, I'm in love with you."
And I lean in again, but this time I refuse to let go.
The End
A/N: Yes! I finished it! I'm so happy! *lol* Well, it was difficult to figure out how to wrap things up but it worked out okay right? Don't worry, I'll probably write a story about where they end up and tie up any loose ends and such. But what did you guys think? It's my first series, did I do okay? As always, thank you for your comments!
A/N: Ahh, here it is, finally! The moment you've all been waiting for! The finished product of my first "Quiefer" fic! It's been fun to write, thanks for all the great reviews! I guess I'll make a sequel if you guys want it, or just a couple of one-shots since this'll be hard to continue off of… And yes, I get it, I get it, putting out "Operation: Escape Assembly" before posting this was a bad idea. But you don't understand how badly I needed a break from writing this, it was getting me all worked up! Especially since this part is in Seifer's POV, it's difficult to keep him in character while still pertaining to the storyline. Anyways, enough blabbering from me!
Disclaimer: I own nothing except the little poem below. Yes, it's mine, something original for once!
A fistful of sand and a heart made of stone
Petrified soul from the years I've spent alone
Ever so close to determining what's real
But disposing of the words that describe how I feel
Why, oh why did Hyne put man on earth to work for a living? Work sucks. Like you wouldn't believe. Especially working on the dock, sweating up a storm, the sun sizzling on your back, and those damn seagulls circling around the inlet, actin' like they own the place. If only I had my gunblade…
Did I mention work sucks? I lift a heavy parcel and set it on my knee for a second, shifting my arms to get a better grip. Why Dollet needs so many damn cosmetics is beyond me. What, didja actually think we were exporting something of value? Nah, not in Balamb. A ton of perspiring pigdogs are racin' around this joint, packing crate after crate into this insanely monstrous vessel just so some broad can paint her face.
I'm more compelled to admire a woman who doesn't feel like she's gotta wear 10 pounds of foundation or whatever girls call it… you get the gist. I mean, to me that shows real confidence. Like that uptight little Instructor… don't think I've ever seen a natural beauty like that. If the sun added to the physical exertion didn't make my face look like a cherry tomato, I'd prob'ly be blushing. Can't entertain thoughts about her right now, not when I'm tryin' to forget her.
I spit the salty taste out of my mouth. Workin' by the beach sure does stick with you, in more ways than you'd think. You end up smelling like fish and sea water for one. And for some reason, everything you eat just tastes a little too salty. I really need a new job. Something that don't require hours of manual labor. Anyways, this guy Casey that I work with, he's kind of a punk if y'know what I mean. Don't know when to keep his mouth shut. He's yellin' something at me, and I jump off the loading deck to talk to him.
"Hey Almasy, ain't that yer girlfriend over there?" he snickers, tilting his head towards the plank. I mentally smack myself upside the head when I see Quistis standing there, looking like a fish outta water.
"Ain't my girl." I mutter, biting the cap off a black permanent marker and labeling a crate, tossin' it to the worker behind me. I cap the pen and chuck it at Casey, who's caught by surprise and stumbles backwards into some mechanic.
I feel kinda bad, seeing the Instructor standing all by her lonesome, shivering like a scared puppy. Or something like that. She's obviously come here for me, unless she's found some other guy's head to fuck with. I guess I'm still pretty pissed about that night three weeks ago… I was tellin' her things that I never thought I would tell another person. I thought I'd die with those secrets; hell, I thought I'd die alone. But y'know, it's kinda funny the way these things work out. The minute I think we've connected and that we're finally forming some kinda relationship, she turns around and spits on it. Like everything we shared meant nothing.
I start walking towards her, taking notes on how bad she really does look. Her face is real discolored, a reddish tint in her cheeks. Looks like a mild case of windburn to me. I used to get that a lot, traveling on a sailboat. She's shaking and outta breath, and for the most part, she looks like she crawled outta bed and fell down several flights of stairs. But she's still as much of a knockout as she's always been.
She keeps her distance, which isn't real inviting. She almost looks like she's about to sneeze, with that Rudolph-the-Red-nosed-Reindeer honker she's got. I guess she's got a cold. Damn woman should be in bed, not up and about. Even I know that.
"KATCHOO!" she nearly blows us into Timber.
"Quistis?" I ask, tilting my head a bit in question. She rubs at her nose, and keeps her eyes on her feet.
"Unnuhhhhg." She moans; I feel bad for the poor idiot. She really looks like she's about had it, almost like she's gonna pass out. I put a hand on her shoulder to help her find her balance, and she flinches, almost like she's expectin' me to hit her.
"Seifer…" her voice is pretty high pitched, almost a funny rodent-like sound. But she's got this real desperate look in her eyes, like she's pleading with me to show her some mercy. She starts coughing and I roll my eyes.
"What are you doing here?" I try to maintain a neutral tone of voice, but it's just not working.
"I came to see you…" she whispers, so soft that I'm almost drawn in. But I reel back, just in time. I always knew women were nothin' but trouble. They get the perfect hold on your heart and then they crush it without warning or anything.
I feel the anger boiling up inside me; I guess it's mostly just my bruised ego that wants to hurt her, not my broken heart. Somehow that part of me is tryin' to pick up the pieces and reach out to her once more. Yeah right. I'm not in the state of mind to get smashed by a woman's wiles again.
"Oh really? After you bitch me out and completely avoid me for almost 3 weeks, you just decide out of the blue to interrupt my work looking like a half-dead grog?" I practically bellow. That really hits home. Her face contorts in that weird way when girls are about to cry, but they start tryin' real hard not to. That's right Quistis. Now you know how it feels. She opens her mouth like she's gonna jump on the defense, but I know her too well. She's got way too much dignity at stake. She already risked most of her pride coming down here to see me. And now, the only thing she can say to me is "Don't leave."
Somethin' about the way she says it, or the look on her face as she's saying it -- I dunno what it is -- but it really strikes a chord in my heart. Don't leave? She must be talking about those dockhands who're gonna go to Dollet for awhile. She thinks I'm one of em? Well now… this should be interesting. I decide to play along, test her to see where her heart really lies.
"Don't leave?" I snort in disbelief. "Why should I stay?"
Her eyes plead with me not to turn my back on her; I dunno if she's aware of it, but she's telling me with the look on her face that she wants to be the reason I'm "staying". If I wasn't busy putting up a front, I'd prob'ly start laughing. That's the thing I love most about Quistis, she wears her heart on her sleeve and tries so hard to cover it up that you have to pretend like you don't notice. But y'know, no matter how much I love the little sea urchin, I haven't gotten over our little spat. Maybe that's immaturity on my part, but I don't care. She really broke my soul; the one person in the entire world I felt I could trust, and she goes off and rips me to shreds with no prior warning.
"Almasy! How many times I gotta tell you boy? Get your ass back to work and swoon the ladies later!" my boss barks from somewhere in the distance. I wonder how he can keep that kinda watch on me from anywhere on the harbor. He must have eagle vision or somethin', added to impeccably bad timing. I shoot Quistis a glare, showing her that she's at fault for me getting in trouble. She disregards it and clutches my arm with a passion. I wince; she's really got a killer grip, for a girl.
"Please…" she croaks, still lacking oxygen. "Meet me below the docks when you're done… there's still so much we have to talk about…"
Ya got that right sister, I almost say, but even I know when certain things aren't appropriate and now is not the time to be makin' cracks. I watch her with a leveled gaze, trying not to give too much away, but silently letting her know I'll be there. I spin on my heel and head back to my wonderfully arduous labor, resisting the urge to look back. Not in fear that she'd see what was really goin' through my head, but in fear that I'd go running back to her. Think about it; if you were stuck between choosing a bunch of sweaty guys lifting crates versus a beautiful woman whose heart beats out of her chest for you, which would you take, door number one or door number two? I would definitely choose the latter, but that's an option I can't give myself just yet. If Seifer Almasy is anything, he's a fighter, and he's not gonna back down until he proves his point. So Little Miss Quisty Trepe will be in for quite a battle, but in the end, if all works out as planned, it'll be worth it.
I hop on top of a stack of crates and pull out my dinky little exacto blade to cut the twine that binds them together. If I had my gunblade with me, things would go a lot quicker. I look back to where Quistis had been standing and shake my head. I want to go back to Garden. I can't guarantee I'd be the most well-behaved student there, but I've grown up, and I'm ready to fulfill my true dreams. Maybe Quistis is right, if I go and make peace with the others I can start over. It's not like there's a law preventing me from going back, but there's a load of angry people there who would be ready and willing to smash my face in.
Life is too full of decisions. There are many roads you can take but in the end they all make the same stop. Maybe I shoulda taken philosophy…
I heft a few more boxes down our makeshift assembly line; Casey checks the contents, I label em and then hand em off to a guy whose name I can never remember, and he tosses em in the vessel. The number of parcels left to check, label, and pack is diminishing, and it's about damn time. I've been out working since the crack of dawn, and I could use a little shut-eye soon. The conditions are pretty miserable too; the sun is out bright and early, but harsh winter winds from the east are nearly blowing us into the ocean. Ah, the life of a dockhand.
Casey starts cracking up and I turn to see what he finds so funny. Oh, of course, an entourage of giggling 13-year-old girls. They come down this way a lot, hiding in the shadows and pointing out guys they think are cute. Sometimes they wave at me and Casey, and I usually wave back so they don't feel dumb or anything, but Casey likes to play along. I think he's into younger chicks; he'll probably end up marrying jailbait by the time he's 40.
Personally, I'm not into little adolescent preteens like them. Sure, when they get older they're bound to be cuties, but my interests lie elsewhere. So much so, that I don't pay them any mind today as they flash me their sheepish smiles. Casey shows off a little, winking and grinning like a hyena. I just smack him upside the head and give him a stern frown. He scowls, but returns to his task.
Five minutes and my shift is over; then I can take some time off to relax. Half of the dockhands that aren't being transferred to Dollet are gonna get laid off cause of the slow business down here… which also means Balamb will become another resort town to attract tourists. Prices'll go up, the population will increase. Before you know it, it'll turn into a replica of Deiling City. I hope to get out before any of this has a chance to brew; I'm sure I will, since the boss has a distaste for me anyways. Which is just perfect in accordance to my plans…
"Awwwooo!" Casey howls. "And we're off!"
He drops his clipboard and runs off the harbor, completely abandoning his work. I'm guessing he'll get laid off too; most of the younger guys are getting cut, and the loudmouths like me and Casey are probably first on the list. I don't let it get to me; it's a fact of life, and besides, there are more important things in this world than money. To prove my point, my mind conjures up an image of Quistis, lounging languidly in the sand, her eyes half-closed and a silly Cheshire-cat grin spread across her face. I wipe my hands off on a grease rag and take my leave.
No point in bein' here any longer when I have other things to attend to.
I try to sneak off undetected which isn't an amazingly tough feat; there's plenty of commotion going on with guys heading back into town and the second shift coming in. I make my way to the plank and hesitate. Once I jump, there's gonna be no turning back. I'm gonna hafta face my demons, my fears, and inevitably, my future. I sound stupid even in my own head; it isn't like I'm committing suicide, although if I screw up I'm as good as dead. But I smile, lift my arms out and feel the wind tearing at my work shirt, and let myself fall backwards into bliss.
And land flat on my ass.
I grunt in pain, but try not to let it show. I look in front of me, slightly dazed from the impact, but other than my temporarily shaky vision, I seem to be just fine.
"That was quite a fall." A soft voice observes from behind me. "But then again, I should know to expect nothing less from you."
Quistis is perched up in the rafters, arms hugging her knees and her hair falling to the sides of her face. She has a gentle, non-aggressive look on her face, meaning she's calmed down and regained her composure. It kills me to admit it, but seeing her so distraught really broke my heart all over again. Damn emotions, nothin' but trouble I tell ya.
"Yeah, well…" I trail off, rubbing the back of my neck like I do when I'm embarrassed. I really don't know how to take it from here. She seems relaxed enough, and I look up at her, trying not to cop an attitude.
"So what is it you wanted to tell me?"
She wriggles her toes and looks away, attempting to hide her frustration. My poor little Quistis, there's nothing you can keep from me, no matter how hard you try. I can see right through that mask you've constructed and I love the woman inside. Why don't you let her shine through more often?
"We… we have a lot to discuss." She starts, her voice wavering at first, but she steadies it quickly. "Mostly, I have a lot of things to explain."
"Yeah you do." I agree, a bit of my own frustrations seeping to the surface. She takes it as a sign of unwillingness, so I hafta prod her a bit to begin. "So get started already." I snap, and she curls her toes at my tone.
"Alright…" she takes a deep breath, her chest rising and falling dramatically. "I guess I should start by explaining my actions as of three weeks ago." She stops, swallows, and continues. "You were the first person who I allowed to get under my skin and see the real me. You were the first person I could truly relate to without feeling like a burden or bother. At first I was reluctant to let you in; I didn't want to get hurt and betrayed. I had this premonition that if I opened myself up to you, you would find some way to stab me in the back."
I cross my arms, feeling the anger, the hurt, well up in the pit of my stomach. It twists and knots and cramps until I think I'm gonna explode right there.
"So that's how you think I am? You still see me as the treacherous traitor of Balamb Garden?"
She opens her mouth to protest, to try and tell me that I'm wrong, but I keep going, my voice softening a little. I can't afford to chase her off now, not after I had put so much on the line.
"You should know me well enough by now to know that I wouldn't do something like that. Not to you."
She gets a hopeful gleam in those beautiful blue pools, and I peel my eyes away from hers before they suck me in. I twirl my hand, gesturing for her to continue.
"Anyways… I was very insecure with the relationship that formed between us. I figured you to be the last person I could ever…"
Love, I finish her sentence silently, seeing that she wasn't ready to tell me the obvious just yet. That's okay with me, she can take all the time in the world, cause I can see it written all over her face and I know it's there. I don't need the extra reassurance. She tucks her hair behind her ears and continues.
"That night… when we were running around outside of Balamb, I felt so real and happy. I felt like a teenage girl, not an Instructor who's old beyond her years. And when… when we reached the woods and I turned back to see how far behind you were, I didn't see you at all. And I called out for you, but you never answered. I should've known you'd pull something like that, knowing you. You're very unpredictable. But my doubts played tricks on me and I thought that you'd left me. I felt… bewildered and scared out of my wits. I couldn't believe it was getting to me as much as it was."
I watch her, a million different emotions passing over her. She looks so desperate, so pleading, and at the same time, so hopeless. Defeated. It's the first time I've ever seen tough, determined ol' Quisty looking so beaten down. And to think, it's me that's been causing her all this pain and confusion. Just a little longer, I just need a little more time, and then I'll make things right again.
"You thought I left? Why would I leave?"
She shakes her head. "I don't know. That's what I was asking myself the moment I noticed your absence. That horrible fear came crawling out from the back of my consciousness and tried convincing me that I was being abandoned. Guess that's what I get for growing up as an orphan."
I nod to myself distantly; I know exactly what she means. Once and orphan, always an orphan. You can never really shake the feeling of loneliness, never can stop those wistful thoughts of having a house with two parents and a white picket fence. She makes a small noise in the back of her throat and I know with absolute certainty that she's resolving to tell me how she really feels. I lean against the support and listen with interest.
"But… I've realized throughout these past weeks… just how much you really do mean to me. I mean… all of my friends at Garden… sure, they're there for me, but not in the way that you were. I guess I was too proud and scared to admit it to myself just how badly I was falling for you."
I lean forward, feigning a look of surprise. I won't let her know that she wasted her words; I knew exactly how she felt about me, and I knew that I felt the same about her.
"Are you saying you're in love with me Quistis?" I inquire, full knowing the answer. She looks distraught.
"I think so."
"You think?"
She looks at me with narrowed eyes.
"What does it matter now? You're leaving and I'm too late to stop you."
"Well, you never gave me something to stay for, now didja Quisty?"
I smile slyly at her and I can tell it's tormenting her.
"Would you stay if I gave you one?"
"Depends on your reasoning. I suppose I could compromise." She can finally see in my eyes that my teasing is lighthearted, and I'm just waiting for her to say it. She wants me to stay cause she doesn't wanna be without me.
"Stay then, Seifer. Stay for yourself, because you know you don't want to go. You know you'd be leaving behind the greatest thing that's ever happened to you."
My cheeks flush a little, and I fumble to cool down. She turned the tables and surprised me. Another thing I love about her.
"I was planning on it." I throw at her coolly. "Especially considering I wasn't even assigned to go to Dollet."
Her eyes are as round as saucers and her pupils are slit, like a cat's. She cranes her head forward a little in disbelief.
"You mean you…"
"Were lying to see how serious you were about this? Guilty." I flash her my best "I-got-ya" smile and shrug.
Her face contorts into an angry snarl, her upper lip curled in disgust. There's this predatory glow in her sky-blue eyes and I realize that I'm in a very bad spot at the moment. She hoists herself off the beam and lands on top of me, pinning me to the sand.
"I can't believe you!" she yelps, punching me half-heartedly in the abdomen. It's kinda funny until she gains momentum and starts swinging at me harder and in rapid succession. She definitely has quite an arm. I guess she works out more often than I thought. "Don't you ever pull that crap with me again Seifer Almasy! I swear, I will give you the beating of your life!"
I let her blow off steam before I grab her waist and flip her over, holding her down with a well-placed elbow, my knees at either side of her hips. Her cheeks are flushed a sultry crimson and her eyes are misting over. I just smile at her from above.
"You know, you never bothered to ask me the same thing I asked you."
"What?" she breathes, a little confused.
"You never asked me if I felt the same way as you did. Does it not matter to you?"
She looks at me with those precious eyes and shakes her head.
"That's not it…I was just afraid of the answer."
"You really need to work on this assertiveness problem you've developed. There's no way you'll ever learn anything if you don't have the guts to ask for it."
I lower my head towards hers, my lips hovering just above her own. I can feel her quivering, shallow breath, as if she's afraid one move and I'll vanish. Our eyes lock and she finally resolves to ask me the one question I can answer without hesitation.
"Do you love me Seifer?" her voice is timid, but I can tell she's having a hard time controlling herself. I grin and seal the space that separates our lips.
Now, I won't lie and say it's the most memorable moment of my life. But it's damn close, and far too perfect to ever forget. I tangle one of my hands in her mass of hair, using the other to prop myself up with. She flings her arms around my neck to make sure I don't try to escape. I couldn't have asked for a better first kiss. Surprised? You shouldn't be. With all the training and hard work I had to put in at the Garden, there was never time to consider dating. Hell, there wasn't even time to consider the opposite sex period. But as every nerve in my body tingles with delight, I don't care about the past. I have no sense of time right now, and for that matter, no care.
I finally release her and she falls back into the sand, her hair fanning around her like strand of spun gold.
"You better not even think of leaving me now." She whispers, searching my eyes.
"I have no where else I'd rather be." I reply, the first heartfelt thing I've voiced today. I bury my face in her hair and her arms wrap around me tightly.
"You never answered me, you know." She giggles as I place a kiss in the crook of her neck.
I pull away, looking at her from above, the sun highlighting our figures. I take both of her hands in mine and lace our fingers together.
"Yes, Quistis Trepe, I'm in love with you."
And I lean in again, but this time I refuse to let go.
The End
A/N: Yes! I finished it! I'm so happy! *lol* Well, it was difficult to figure out how to wrap things up but it worked out okay right? Don't worry, I'll probably write a story about where they end up and tie up any loose ends and such. But what did you guys think? It's my first series, did I do okay? As always, thank you for your comments!