Magical………Who? My Life After
Part 5
By: TheMischiefMakers
~Chapter 49~
I saw those two similar people today…yes the Twins, I still can't get over the fact they were born that way, amazing, it really is. You know they have flaming red hair like that "Ron" and that one girl I followed that one time. I wonder if somehow, that are related to one another. Can two similar people…Twins…be related to other people that don't look a thing like them, except that have the same hair color. I wonder if that is possible? Hey Dudley, Vernon….
I talked to Dudley and Vernon about the similar people being related to that "Ron" and the flaming red haired girl and they said that yes they were all related. I'm amazed not only by this revelation but by the fact that Dudley and Vernon actually told me something. Things must be getting ready to get really strange or something.
I just had another idea….hahaha very funny Dudley, you know I do get ideas every so often there's no need to laugh about it, honestly. Anyway what if those two similar people, that "Ron" and the flaming red haired girl are all responsible for the plant napping and serial plant killings? I could be a family business or something; I've heard that some people have jobs like that. I wonder… hey Dudley… Vernon… did the guy who plant napped you have flaming red hair? Why won't you tell me?! I hate it when you go all secretive on me. I know I'll try asking them later. Perhaps they just need a little more time. Promise me you'll tell me later, okay? What's that Dudley… you will tell me someday… when I am ready…? What does that mean? Hey Dudley… why are you being so cryptic? Dudley?
~Chapter 50~
I was looking back through at all the chapters for this book that I have written so far and I suddenly realized that I put two chapter 47s in here. I must ask my faithful readers to forgive me but I got interrupted at that time and I forgot what chapter I was on. I'm sure you understand how that is. In addition to this my memory is not what it used to be, as Dudley so often reminds me. I may not remember most people's names or even what I ate for breakfast this morning but at least I know who I am. I am Lord Voldemort the Great… Dudley…Vernon… why did you faint? Are you all right? Please wake up?
~Chapter 51~
You may be wondering why I don't have a chapter between chapters 38 and 40 so, well I'll tell you why. It's because I really don't like the number that comes between 38 and 40. I won't even say it. I guess that makes me… makes me… stupidstitious. I mean superstitious. Thank you Vernon. Anyway I don't like that number in the same way some people don't like the number 13. Have you ever been in one of those up and down things they sometimes have in really tall Muggle buildings? I wonder how they are able to build them that tall? Anyway one of those up and down things. Yeah a lift… thank you Dudley. Sometimes Muggles will completely leave out the 13th floor on these lifts. Anyway I'm the same way about the number that comes between 38 and 40. So there it is. There is NO chapter between chapters 38 and 40 and it's NOT an error.
I wonder why people, especially Muggles, don't like the number 13. I don't think there is anything wrong with it. Do you? Hey… Vernon… Dudley… do you think there is anything wrong with the number 13? I think it's really silly to be scared of a number, don't you. I mean it's totally ridiculous. What's that Dudley… no I don't think I'm a hypo… hypo… hippogriff? What? Oh you mean a hypocrite. What's that anyway? Dudley, Vernon! Stop laughing at me this instant and tell me what that word means!
~Chapter 52~
Dudley and Vernon still won't tell me what a hypocrite is or who it was that plant napped them. I'm beginning to get really, really frustrated at them. I mean all I want is a few simple answers. Is that really too much to ask. But oh no they're too important to be troubled by such trivial things. I guess I'll just have to find out the answers some other way. I think I'll start by asking the very next person who comes through my door to visit me. I hope it's that old man with the moon shaped glasses. He seems to be an honest sort and also seems to know everything that goes on around here. I WILL find the answers! You just wait and see! Dudley, Vernon I WILL be heard! Stop laughing… ! Plants! Who can fathom the way a plant's mind works. Geez.
~Chapter 53~
Hey did I tell you that they came and fixed my broken window? Well they did and a very good job they did too. All of us in the "Secure Section of Hogwarts" are so relieved now and things are quieter now that Vernon has stopped screaming all the time. You might be wondering why Vernon was screaming and so I'll tell you why. I discovered something very important about Vernon. You see he has a… a… Oh what's it called when you are really terrified of something? Yeah a phobia. Thanks Dudley. Anyway Vernon has a phobia and its name is… is… Oh dang it! Why can't I remember things? I can't remember what it's called but it means that Vernon is afraid of high places. What's that Vernon… Oh you're not just afraid of them, they terrify you. I'm sorry to hear that. Vernon you might want to get away from that open window. Anyway now that the window is fixed Vernon's okay with the height thing. It was only when the window was broken that he had a problem. I wonder where that smelly and fake "Lord Voldemort the Great" went when he disappeared. Maybe I should try asking.
~Chapter 54~
I tried telling that "Ron" about "Lord Voldemort the Great" but guess what? He fainted right in my room when I told him who it was that had broken my window. I wonder why that name "Lord Voldemort the Great" makes everyone react this same way. Hey Dudley… Vernon… any clues as to why? Anyway after several minuets that "Ron" woke up and got up, dusting himself off. Then he sat back down in the chair and I told him the whole story of the "I am Lord Voldemort the Great" argument I'd had with this smelly git. After I was done, I asked him the question I was dying to ask. When I had asked him my question: "Where'd 'Lord Voldemort the Great' go when he disappeared after falling out my window?" his face turned pale and he swayed on his chair like he was about to faint again. Then he looked at me seriously for a few minuets and then do you know what happened-he got up and without another word he left. How rude! Don't you think it was rude of him to just walk away like that? He didn't even answer my question either. I mean… I must say… Oh… Honestly!
~Chapter 55~
Something very exciting is happening here right now and right outside my door too boot. I heard a lot of people rushing around outside my door for the past two days. Something BIG must be happening but what? I wonder if that "Ron" or Severus Snape is involved somehow? No one has come to see me so I've had no news and I can't tell very much about what's going on by looking out my newly repaired window. Maybe they've caught the plant napper or the serial plant killer. Wouldn't that be good news guys? Or maybe they've finally caught You-Know-Who, whoever goes by this stupid name. Or possible that imposter who calls himself "Lord Voldemort the Great" when everyone here knows that there is only one, me. All others are just fakes. Hey, maybe I should have cards printed up that say that. Um….
I am Lord Voldemort the Great
Everyone else is just a fake.
It could work. I'll have to see if I can have it done though. Anyway, I'll write more later when I've found out what's going on here. I hope it's something exciting and not something dumb. We could sure use some excitement in the "Secure Section of Hogwarts". Until later.
To be continued…..
A/N: None of these characters belong to us. We are only responsible for Lockhart's new personality, the talking plants, Dudley and Vernon and the plot. Everything else belongs to… well you know who.