Magical…Who? My Life After
Chapters 85-100
Part: 9
By: TheMischiefMakers
~Chapter 85~
I'm still sitting here, looking at the large, dark mass sitting on my desk. I wonder what it is as I peer out of the blankets at it. It looks harmless, but looks are deceiving…like that Fly/Pixie Splat earlier in that other chapter with the story of Me and the Pixie Splat. Who would've thought that it would come back to life after being squashed flat…I mean that's just not a normal thing that happens. I mean it was dead…and dead is dead right? It looked dead but it deceived me into thinking it was dead when it really wasn't dead at all.
I mean, really, looks are deceiving all the time.
A smiling person is often hiding devious plans. Serial Killers look just like you and me but they are not like us, especially those ones that have this crazy look in their eyes and carry around bloody butchers knives all the time. A book may have a nice cover but that doesn't mean it's a good or even a nice book, one time I opened this book and…well it was terrible I can't tell you about it though, just take my word for it looks are deceiving. Oh and never trust a smiling None…
What's that Dudley? Of course that makes sense. What do you mean that it doesn't make sense? What Vernon you think I should stop writing…that I'm going Insane! Now, wait just one minute here! WHAT! I am not insane…honestly!
~Chapter 86~
I had to talk to Dudley and Vernon for a while; they seemed to think I was going insane. I am not insane…What? You may not be but your writing is inane? That's not very nice to say Dudley! Don't your start too Vernon! I'm getting really tired of both of you. I don't know what's been going on but I intend to put a stop to this insulting me right now! It will stop! Dudley! Shut up! I'm not going too…
~Chapter 87~
Well, Dudley's insults finally drew me out of hiding. I'm still trying to calm down now after what happened and staring at the… Anyway here is the story…
I was coming at Dudley, leaving the comfort and safety of my bed when it happened. What happened you might be asking? Well, just wait and I'll tell you the story. Anyway, I was coming towards Dudley, threatening to…do bodily harm to him…he reminded me that he was a plant and that he really didn't have a body in the normal sense of the word. I paused and that was when it happened...
BANG! POP! CRASH!
There was a loud bang, then a series of multicolored lights…an awful stink…funny colored string exploded from the ceiling of the room and there was a thick black smoke that nearly killed me. I was so surprised that I nearly jumped out of the window. Too bad I didn't fall out of the window first, I would be rid of Dudley and Vernon and their insults. But, more importantly I might have been able to solve that age-old question…whatever it was…do stupid people fall faster? No, that wasn't it…I'll remember someday.
This was just another instance of things deceiving me again. The room looked normal and everything but then it exploded into colors and light and this stringy stuff…it's still sticking to me. So there I was in the middle of all this strange stuff when it hit me…Well yes Dudley a piece of a tomato hit me in the face, but that is not what I was talking about hitting me…it was a memory that hit me. Strange huh? A bunch of color and lights brought me a memory of my past. But, the memory is very strange and I seem even now to wonder if I really had that flash and if it even was from my past and not perhaps someone else's instead.
Anyway, the vision I had from my past was that this very thing had happened to me before. No, Dudley not that I had lost my memory. But, being scared out of my mind by an unexpected prank. There was this strange man in my memory…he was laughing and pointing at me saying that I fell for it again. The man was Thaddeus, a friend of mine. I think he was a friend anyway…if he was then I surely don't need enemies do I?
Anyway, I actually remember a flash from my past. But, as quickly as it surfaced, it faded away and I was left with only the lingering memory. I was shocked and surprised that I remembered something. It was so Magical…Who Cares!?! What do you mean, "who cares" Dudley? I thought that you of all people…plants…all the time we've spent together that you would be happy that I had this revelation. I thought that you would be happy that I seem to be regaining my memory. You don't care? I better see to Larry? Larry? Larry who? Who's Larry?
~Chapter 88~
Well, after the display and my partial memory return I approached my desk with caution, towards the dark mess which was coming more into view and I could see that it was pink in color. I paused. I hate pink! It's an awful color…I think it is anyway. I can't believe that anyone would even consider using a color such as that. I know that many people are very fond of the color in fact Vernon just informed me that it's his favorite color…he wants me to paint his pot that color…Should I be worried about that?
Anyway, on my desk, you'll never believe what it was…it was a Pink Plastic Squid. Dudley and Vernon tell me that its name is "Larry." But, can I really trust Vernon, I mean he likes pink! I think that both of them have totally lost it! I mean a Plastic Squid can't talk can it? That's just ridicules to even suggest. It's not real; it's not alive…What? His full name is Larry Lockhart and he's here to help me get my memory back? Oh, Puh-lease, that's just stupid. A Pink Plastic Squid is going to help me get my memory back? Really, you two its just ridicules to even suggest it. "Larry"…told you so? He talks to you? Come on guys that's just wrong, as in it's not right. It's a Pink Plastic Squid…He's a Pink Plastic Squid? Oh, honestly!
~Chapter 89~
Well, Dudley and Vernon keep insisting that the Pink Plastic Squid…oh, very well, "Larry," is talking to them. I've never known a Plastic Squid to talk to anyone. I mean, they are not alive and only living things talk, right? Or am I being deceived again? Is this another case of looks being deceiving?
Of course, I've never known a Plastic Squid before "Larry." Well, strange things do seem to happen around me, this place, plant nappers, Severus Snape, serial plant killers and that Fake Lord Voldemort the Great. Perhaps, it is my destiny to follow the path of strangeness? If that is the case then maybe…just maybe "Larry" is talking to Dudley and Vernon. I should keep an open mind…I wonder if he talks to Lily and Petunia?
There is one good thing about "Larry" I guess. Since his arrival Vernon has stopped screaming.
So I sit here, writing about "Larry" the Pink Plastic Squid while looking out of the window at the lake, which is visible…Didn't the lake have a squid? Vernon, Dudley is "Larry" that squid…he's not telling? Honestly!
I want to know one thing Dudley. Who plant napped you? Was it that "Ron" or Severus Snape…What? You never left the room? But, you were plant napped. You…you rescued Vernon…you're a brave plant. You can't believe everything you see? Things aren't always what they seem! What! Now, I really don't understand you. Are you saying that you were not plant napped? Yes! But, I risked life and limb to find you and…I just can't seem to remember things very well anymore…what happened a few days ago…my life…
My whole life is a sham? What do you mean by that? I don't understand you at all please explain yourself. Oh don't get quiet on me now Dudley…Drats! Vernon? Lily…Petunia…oh you don't talk… "Larry?"
~Chapter 90~
I'm too confused and upset to write. No one is talking to me…I really don't understand it…What Dudley…?
~Chapter 91~
…There once was a Squid named "Larry"…Larry
Who looks a lot like Harry…that kid with the scar?
And then one day
He was carried away
And that was really scary…Scary?
No, that's not scary…but your poetry is Dudley…I'm really glad that you're talking to me again, but do I really have to pen your poetry about "Larry"…ok Larry? Don't you start Vernon…
~Chapter 92~
Dudley is still making me pen his poetry about "Larry" but I really must say that, though I like "Larry" the Pink Plastic Squid, Dudley's attempts at poetry leave something to be desired. I mean honestly! I'm pretty sure that not even that Lord Voldemort the Fake would write poetry that is as trite as the stuff that Dudley's had me write down for him. Dudley…"Larry" is not alive…what do you have a "Larry" fixation or something. What's that Vernon…no I've told you once before…I am not insane! Vernon! Well, at least I don't have a fixation on a Pink Plastic Squid! I'll bet that not even that Lord Voldemort the Fake doesn't act as weird as you and that he doesn't have a fixation on a squid named "Larry".
Speaking of the Fake Lord Voldemort…there is something strange going on here and I think that that Fake Lord Voldemort has something to do with it…What's that Dudley? You want me to what?! No…I don't feel like writing down any more of your "Ode to Larry" right now! I am trying to…Hey! Give me back my quill!
~Chapter 94~
Well, as you see there should be a different number then the one that appears here but this chapter would have had the reverse of the bad luck number on it and I really can't write either number. I'm sorry. You'll just have to live with it. Besides Dudley spilled ink all over that chapter in a fit of rage when I refused to pen anymore of his horrible poetry. I mean, honestly. If you're going to call yourself a poet then at least have the decency to write good poetry.
Anyway, Dudley has been acting strange again, almost as strange as he was acting before. He's been real moody lately and is keeping to himself. I'm really worried too. Vernon has not been of any help either. He seems to think that a good way to cheer Dudley up is to jump out at him wearing a tea cozy and yelling "Boo!" at him. I'm really beginning to wish that Lily and Petunia were magical plants. They might be able to help Dudley. I'm at my wits end…Yes; I do so have wits, Vernon.
Hey, I wonder if the Fake Lord Voldmort the Great has anything to do with this. I haven't seen him in months and I'm getting really, really worried about him…It? The Fake Lord Voldemort is an "it"? Just shut up, Dudley! Anyway he never took advantage of the fact that my window was broken for a long time to pay me a visit. Well now it's too late. The day after I'd heard those strange noises in my room and had that flash of memory, some men came and replaced the glass in it. So now Vernon has no reason to scream all the time.
~Chapter 95~
I was thumbing through my book that I have been writing my thoughts in and have noticed that it is almost full. I suppose they will let me have another soon. They say it is a sure fire way to get my memory back but it has yet to work. I hope that I am not being deceived by everyone here. Looks can be deceiving you know. I really hope I get a new journal soon and that Dudley doesn't ask me to fill it with his trite and badly rhymed poetry to "Larry".
I find "Larry" to be very….well…boring. He was okay at first but you really cannot hold a very good conversation with a squid, especially if he happens to be a plastic one. Plants are much better at conversations then Pink Plastic Squids are. It's really a pity actually. It would have been fun to talk to him and learn what it was like to be a Pink Plastic Squid.
Oh, well…
~Chapter 96~
I had visitors today! That "Ron", the brown haired girl with cooties and the kid with the scar…Oh, yeah…Harry Potter came to see me. They all asked me how I was doing and I told them I was fine except that Dudley was not talking to me again. Harry Potter~the kid with the scar asked me if I had seen the Fake Lord Voldemort the Great and I said that I hadn't and that I was very angry about it because I had waited a whole week for him to come in through my broken window and all. The brown haired girl with the cooties patted my arm and told me it would be okay. She called me by that fellow Gilderoy's name again and I just smiled and nodded so as not to upset them.
After they had all left me and after I had checked to make sure that the plants were all save and sound, I heard a loud argument outside my room. Someone was talking about me, not the people who had just left but someone else. They mentioned me being moved and some saint whose name starts with the number "m"…Yes, that what I said Dudley.. the letter "m". I said letter not number…I think you need to get your hearing checked Dudley.
I really don't want to leave here. I like it here in my room with my friends Dudley and Vernon and my Muggle plants Lily and Petunia. I even like it here with "Larry". I hope what I heard wasn't about me even though I did hear the words "Gilderoy Lockhart" mentioned.
~Chapter 97~
I'm really much to upset to write at this time. Sorry.
~Chapter 98~
I'm too busy packing to write anything much and now I'm really, really angry too. It's just not fair that I have to leave here to go to St. Whatis.
IT'S NOT FAIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
~Chapter 99~
I have just two more days here in the Secure Section of Hogwarts and then I'll be gone and boy will they be sorry when that Fake Lord Voldemort the Great returns and I'm not here to help! I was told the awful news of my leaving by the old man with the moon shaped glasses. He looked really glad to see me go but I couldn't figure out why. I think I will miss it here. These four walls have been my home for a long while now and I will miss out on a lot of stuff. I shall especially miss that Fake Lord Voldemort the Great. He was fun and now I'll never get to figure out where he went when he jumped out my window.
~Chapter 100~
Well, I'm all packed and I'm waiting for the people from St. Whatis to come…What's that Vernon…oh yeah, St. Mungo's. I wonder who he is the Patron Saint of? Anyway, as I look back over my journal of my time here at the Secure Section of Hogwarts, I realize that I have begun to remember a little bit about who I was before the accident. Maybe there is still a hope that I will get all of my memory back. There is only one thing that I regret and that is that I never figured out who that serial plant napper and plant killer was. Oh, well…St. Mungo's I hope your ready for the Real Lord Voldemort the Great cause everyone else is just a fake.
~*Fin*~
A/N: Well, that's the end…or is it? We hope you've enjoyed it, it was great to write! Lockhart and all Harry Potter Characters belong to J. K. Rowling and the Talking Plants and Larry the Pink Plastic Squid belongs to us. Until, the next story…Cheers!
~*TheMischiefMakers*~