Part Five: The conclusion.
I quickly headed to the airport. I followed them in order of the days of the tickets. I kept going to the places. I couldn't find Quinn, but I kept finding girls who looked like they were trying to show off to no one in particular. At the very least, I was on the right trail. I kept hearing them saying "Her name is Brittany Taylor" like it was a sort of chant. Damn it. They must have started Operation Cocktease in these places. I finally went back home in defeat. It was then that I got a call. It was Quinn.
"Hi, couldja do me a favor and pick me up? It's *so* expensive to call a cab and my car's all *hot!*" she said. I had my in to get there. I called a cab and went to the hotel. I got to her room.
"Thank GOD! You're here! Now, let's go! There's a good one-day sale at Limited and all the stuff will be gone if we don't!"
"Not until you tell me...ONE DAY SALE! Come on, woman! No time to waste!" We quickly rushed over there. Damn, we looked fine. We went over to the food court.
"So, as I was saying, Who the hell are you?" I asked.
"Oh, that's easy. I'm you." Quinn replied.
"What? Why would you be me? That's just a second-rate cop-out to try and bypass the fact that we might just be attracted to each other!" I replied.
"Sorry. That's the breaks. I'm your alter-ego."
"That's so lame! Imaginary friends are SO 3 year old!"
"Not if you're looking for a change in your life."
"Oh, yeah. Let's see about that. The jobs..."
"You wanted more money, and you didn't sleep."
"The actually sleeping with that mutant Jane..."
"You did it, Quinn. She just didn't really give a fuck. I figure, someone's actually doing Something to her, she's cool."
"The whole 'Fashion Club?'"
"You looked SO stupid doing that by yourself."
"You giving me that great pleasure while I slept?"
"Well, we established you didn't sleep, so..."
The news sunk in. The stories all checked out. But why would I go and get an imaginary friend for these things? It's just...retarded!
"Well, it doesn't really matter. In five minutes we're all going to Hell in a handbasket. Operation: Cocktease is nearly done, ya know."
This hit home too much for me. What was Operation: Cocktease? Why was it going to end the whole thing? I waited. At the very least, I would see what Operation: Cocktease was...
Suddenly, it started. A large voice came from throughout the land. Did I call out God while my alter-ego played this role?
The voice started talking:
"NO! I can't take this! I'm a Hack! I'm just a Fucking Hack! I'm not a great mage of Daria! I didn't see the end of 'Fight Club!' Now I can't end this fucking thing! I'll never have any skill! I should've just stuck to very intricate Legion of Super-Heroes scripts that are nothing more than allegories for my pain of not being able to tell girls how I really feel!" Suddenly, large raindrops fell through the sky. Dammit, that stuff *so* messed up my hair.
The voice just kept talking. "Maybe I should just take the Hack Cop-Out and blow up the world of it!"
I couldn't let that happen. I mean, the world has *such* good shopping... "Come on, you're not *that* bad..."
"Oh, yeah, right."
"No, you have some skill. Just use some good ending for this. You can do it."
Suddenly, a large foot dropped from the ground, squashing the house I had been in. The lackeys were crushed. As that fake me was distracted, I beat her up somewhat well. She didn't die, but she was really hurt badly in one of those pro wrestling "I'm going to 'hospitalize' this one guy so that he can go off on his honeymoon and get these bad guys way over in one fell swoop" manner. I had beaten the end of it all. Maybe "Quinn" did teach me how to use my looks as a weapon after all. Even if I run across her again, I can at least fend for myself.
I quickly headed to the airport. I followed them in order of the days of the tickets. I kept going to the places. I couldn't find Quinn, but I kept finding girls who looked like they were trying to show off to no one in particular. At the very least, I was on the right trail. I kept hearing them saying "Her name is Brittany Taylor" like it was a sort of chant. Damn it. They must have started Operation Cocktease in these places. I finally went back home in defeat. It was then that I got a call. It was Quinn.
"Hi, couldja do me a favor and pick me up? It's *so* expensive to call a cab and my car's all *hot!*" she said. I had my in to get there. I called a cab and went to the hotel. I got to her room.
"Thank GOD! You're here! Now, let's go! There's a good one-day sale at Limited and all the stuff will be gone if we don't!"
"Not until you tell me...ONE DAY SALE! Come on, woman! No time to waste!" We quickly rushed over there. Damn, we looked fine. We went over to the food court.
"So, as I was saying, Who the hell are you?" I asked.
"Oh, that's easy. I'm you." Quinn replied.
"What? Why would you be me? That's just a second-rate cop-out to try and bypass the fact that we might just be attracted to each other!" I replied.
"Sorry. That's the breaks. I'm your alter-ego."
"That's so lame! Imaginary friends are SO 3 year old!"
"Not if you're looking for a change in your life."
"Oh, yeah. Let's see about that. The jobs..."
"You wanted more money, and you didn't sleep."
"The actually sleeping with that mutant Jane..."
"You did it, Quinn. She just didn't really give a fuck. I figure, someone's actually doing Something to her, she's cool."
"The whole 'Fashion Club?'"
"You looked SO stupid doing that by yourself."
"You giving me that great pleasure while I slept?"
"Well, we established you didn't sleep, so..."
The news sunk in. The stories all checked out. But why would I go and get an imaginary friend for these things? It's just...retarded!
"Well, it doesn't really matter. In five minutes we're all going to Hell in a handbasket. Operation: Cocktease is nearly done, ya know."
This hit home too much for me. What was Operation: Cocktease? Why was it going to end the whole thing? I waited. At the very least, I would see what Operation: Cocktease was...
Suddenly, it started. A large voice came from throughout the land. Did I call out God while my alter-ego played this role?
The voice started talking:
"NO! I can't take this! I'm a Hack! I'm just a Fucking Hack! I'm not a great mage of Daria! I didn't see the end of 'Fight Club!' Now I can't end this fucking thing! I'll never have any skill! I should've just stuck to very intricate Legion of Super-Heroes scripts that are nothing more than allegories for my pain of not being able to tell girls how I really feel!" Suddenly, large raindrops fell through the sky. Dammit, that stuff *so* messed up my hair.
The voice just kept talking. "Maybe I should just take the Hack Cop-Out and blow up the world of it!"
I couldn't let that happen. I mean, the world has *such* good shopping... "Come on, you're not *that* bad..."
"Oh, yeah, right."
"No, you have some skill. Just use some good ending for this. You can do it."
Suddenly, a large foot dropped from the ground, squashing the house I had been in. The lackeys were crushed. As that fake me was distracted, I beat her up somewhat well. She didn't die, but she was really hurt badly in one of those pro wrestling "I'm going to 'hospitalize' this one guy so that he can go off on his honeymoon and get these bad guys way over in one fell swoop" manner. I had beaten the end of it all. Maybe "Quinn" did teach me how to use my looks as a weapon after all. Even if I run across her again, I can at least fend for myself.