Scary Story: WTF!???
By: Elle
Well haven't really finished this…and it's late at night so WHATEVER! Yeah Pepsi! Anyway when we last saw Rinoa, Irvine and Quistis they were all horrified (okay not really but they were scared for their lives gosh darnet!) because Mr. Gill was murdered. And our favorite masked wacko is creeping around behind them, frea-ky! Or at least they think Mr. Gill is dead.
Mr. Gill (all bloody and gross because he was stabbed repeatedly and of course is dying): I-I-I'm sorry tha that I your gonna die…he kill you…and make you dead…and slice you up…and fry you…and eat you…and digest you…and then poop you out…sor- sorry…
With that he was dead, wipe away a tear now dear reader.
Rinoa: Ewww it stinks!
Quistis (thinking she should be sad because she is everyone's angel): Rinoa, a man just died…
Irvine: Yeah, a rich one at that! C'mon all let's strip him down naked and find his fortune!
Rinoa and Quistis stare at him.
Irvine: What? How did you guys mug a dead guy in Balamb?
Quistis: …We didn't.
Rinoa: Yeah, I just asked guys for money and they gave it to me…
Irvine's eyes light up.
Irvine: OMG! Here, help me get his shoes off, hehehe this is gonna take us a while with all these fancy clothes he got!
Quistis: Great... I have a whore and a hick that just found a dead body in my squad.
Rinoa: I am NOT a whore!
Quistis: Just take the not out and you would have it right…
Rinoa: Whatever then, I am a whore!
Quistis and Irvine laugh.
Irvine: Oh yea, I ain't no hick, ummkay. I jes' like some cowboy thangs.
Rinoa: Yeah and it's not like your any Angel yourself Ms. Pedophile!
Quistis: I did NOT at any times have sex with any of my students!
Rinoa: But, you WISH you did with Squall, you WISH he took your flower!
Rinoa holds up a note with Quistis' handwriting.
Quistis: Give that to me!
Rinoa: Hell no! Hehehe I bet Seifer will just LOVE to see this!
Irvine: Mmmm I reckon I smell myself a cat fight!
Rinoa: Shut up, hick!
Irvine: Feisty, ooo I like them feisty!
* * * *
Meanwhile Zell, Selphie, Seifer and Squall are really pissed from that whole time warp business.
Seifer: Dammit Squall I told you to run from the ghost! So what if it's your Hyne dammed bitch hoe mom, I'm tired and need an ample supply of lovin' fast! Hell Selphie is lookin' good!
Squall: …loving?
Zell: Whoa? Did I just hear someone say that they would give me lovin' because Squall you know I don't swing THAT way, well not sober at least…
Selphie: What's sober mean?
Zell: Hmm come to think of it I doubt I know what it means either, hehehe and I know what a Pearl Necklace is!
Selphie: Huh?
Zell: Your virgin ears would bleed!
Squall: …Mother…
Seifer: Oh hell no, we are not going through this again!
Suddenly out of no where Fujin and Raijin show up and scare the ghost away!
Fujin: DAMN!
Raijin: Yea, y'know bet we could've been rich if we got that on tape y'know!
Zell: WTF are you guys doing here???
Fujin: MONEY.
Raijin: Well ya know Seifer spent all out money ya know so we figured that if we got a real ghost on tape we could sell it, ya know?
Fujin: SAFE.
Raijin: Ya, she was worried 'bout you Seifer, kicked me really good to come here!
Seifer: Hahah wish she would kick Squally boy's ass!
Fujin kicks Squall's ass and he wimpers in pain.
Squall: WTF was that for???
Raijin: Never mind! Whoa the Tilmitt girl is here, ya know.
Selphie: So what if I am here?
Fujin: RAGE!
Suddenly (because well nothing happens slowly or predictably) the masked weirdo comes by, then runs off dropping a piece of paper. Squall bends over to pick it up.
* * * *
Since we last saw Irvine, Rinoa and Quistis, Rinoa and Quistis had given Irvine a good beating and a lecture how all women were better then men.
Irvine: Does that mean you neither of you would like to hop on the randy foot and do the shimmy shimmy with me?
Rinoa: I don't even know what that means.
Quistis: Damn hicks…
Irvine: What was that, Quistis?
Rinoa: Damn pedophiles…
Quistis: Nothing, damn whores…
Rinoa: You know I think we should just go to bed!
Irvine: Ooo I wouldn't mind that at all!
Quistis: Not with you hick!
Irvine: Was I talking to you pedophile?
Quistis: Well I guess if you were talking to THE whore then I guess not!
Rinoa: Quistis, Quistis, just because you can't get any guys don't take it out on me, I'm innocent in all of this!
Quistis: Yeah, your just highly "suggestive," my ass…
Irvine: And what a sweet one it is!
Rinoa: This sounds a lot like One Fantasy to Live, ya know…
Quistis: Just go to bed whore, at least in this one I haven't slept with Irvine yet.
They all depart upstairs to go to bed, Irvine runs back to the dead body of Mr. Gill to find his "treasure."
* * * *
So because Squall found the note he's reading it out loud lol OMG this totally doesn't get predictable. "Dear Mr. Sexy Bitch-"Seifer: Hey! It's addressed to me! Give me that poser, yeah you wish you could be the sexy bitch, but you can't!
Squall: ….
Seifer takes the paper away from Squall who stares at him blankly.
Fujin (under her breath but I really don't know how that's possible since she speaks in all caps lol): MY, BITCH!
Raijin (because they are telepathically linked lol again): You wish!
Seifer: Excuse you!
Raijin: Ya, ya know don't know what came over me ya know…
Seifer: Anyway, *cough*
Dear Mr. Sexy Bitch,I am the crazed wacko/crazed weirdo, mwhahahahah! Anyway I just had to do that 'cause I can and all 'cause I'm evil and all mwhahahah! Getting to my point I am a BIG admirer and would like to know if you would like to join me for a candle light dinner… Please write back, my heart shall be broken if you don't and I don't know what I would do. Actually I would probably kill you and all your friends, but please my love…
-Your Love,Crazed weird/crazed wacko who will kill you…and make you dead…and slice you up…and fry you…and eat you…and digest you…and then poop you out…sor- sorry…
Selphie: Awww how sweet! Seifer's got a secret admirer! OMG I know exactly what you should wear! Oh and I can do your hair and-
Raijin: AH shut it up ya know!
Fujin: KILL!
Zell: *snif* wish someone would love me ya know…
Selphie: Doesn't the girl in the pigtails love ya, Zell? What's her name anyway?
Zell: *snif* I don't know…
Seifer: Ah yeah I knew it all along, Quistis LOVES me!
Squall: Are you so sure? Maybe it's somebody else…
Seifer: Shut up, fruity boy, you're just jealous 'cause your fruity and ended up with THE whore!
Seifer: Hey, hey by this it sounds like she wants to like you know…
Raijin: Make the babies, ya know?
Fujin: HOE.
To be continued…
Spoiler: So what will happen? You want to know? You REALLY wanna know? Well do ya, do ya really??? Yeah I bet you do!!!! Do do do do do! Okay well you'll find out next time! Yup, what will happen when Quistis, Irvine, and Rinoa go to bed, or who is Seifer's secret admirer/ Crazed weird/crazed wacko who will kill you…and make you dead…and slice you up…and fry you…and eat you…and digest you…and then poop you out…sor- sorry… Anyway don't worry the next part wont take so long, I hope I just have school and a web site to keep me busy and crap oh yeah and then there is that thing called a life and friends which keep pulling me off the comp. Darn! That's all the time we have fokes, do do do do do and crap!
Author's note: Lol the reason it's kinda short is because I did it all on one night when I still had inspiration, it makes them better that way!
Disclaimer: Yeah I own them, every damn one of 'em I own! Mmhmm you know it, now waist your time and sue my ass, or please don't because I just try to be funny!