Disclaimer : I don't own Sailor Moon etc. etc.
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A Stroll Through Your Dream
By Artemis
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PART NINE
Mamoru opened his eyes. He felt incredibly tired, his whole body
aching with pain.... But somehow he felt awake. He didn't want
to wake up, but he couldn't close his eyes and go back to sleep.
It had been another night without a dream. Nothing. He didn't
feel anything, he hadn't remembered anything, he hadn't seen the
princess or.... the little blonde haired girl.
"Usagi..." he murmured slowly.
His hand moved slowly around the side of the bed, but he couldn't
feel her there. Two weeks ago, she had always been there and stayed
by his side. Mamoru strained and twisted his neck to see if maybe,
just maybe, she was there. He saw an empty space where she would
have been... could have been, if he hadn't told her. But how did he
know she was in love with Michael? How did he know.... And he wished
he hadn't said a word. Rejection he could maybe handle, but if Usagi
had just not felt the same way, at least he could try and persuade
her feelings somehow... Or at least maybe try and be friends on some
level. But now he knew she loved someone else, how could he try and
steal her away? He couldn't... She loved Michael and he was his friend.
He couldn't try to get Usagi to see himself, just to make himself
happy.. And surely Michael wouldn't forgive him for that. Had Usagi
told him anything? He hoped not. Michael was not one to think logically
when he was upset. If only he hadn't given in to his urge to hold her
and to tell her... those words. If only... If only what? He didn't know
any more. Mamoru suddenly felt a sweeping feeling overcoming his mind
and body, making him close his eyes and drift off to sleep.
Usagi watched the little boy settle down to sleep. She smiled and ruffled
his hair lightly as he lay down. Ever since that day... with Mamoru,
she had been taking care of this little boy who looked just like him.
Every night and every day for two weeeks, she couldn't help but think
about Mamoru. He was so alone in that room of his, no one to talk to and
no one to be there for him. And he had seemed so bitter towards other
staff there, as if it had been their fault he wasn't getting any better.
Or, as Michael had told her, he was angry because they wouldn't let him
leave the room. He was trapped in a prison that prevented him from doing
anything... And would he ever fly to space again? She worried about him
constantly and wanted to talk to Michael about it, but she wasn't sure
what he would think. She didn't want to sound like all she ever thought
about was Mamoru, but she always thought about him, more than Michael.
She shook her head and tried to forget about that incident which kept
haunting her. Why did she feel so bad, so guilty, so.... regretful?
"Usagi?" a voice broke her thoughts.
Her eyes flickered over to the owner of the voice, Michael. He looked
worried.
"Hi Michael," she smiled cheerfully.
Michael glanced at the little boy, then to Usagi.
"Am I disturbing you?" he whispered.
"No, he's just fallen asleep. Let's talk out there," she whispered and
walked past him and headed out the door.
Michael seemed a little uneasy or nervous about something. Usagi wondered
why.
"Is something wrong?" she asked him, since he never really visited her
during the day.
"Usagi, what really is the reason why you didn't want to be Mamoru's
nurse any more? I know it's been a while and I didn't want to ask you
in case it upset you, but it's been bugging me ever since..." his voice
sounding low and quiet.
She was surprised by the question and didn't know what to say.
"That little boy... he's the reason why you gave up looking after Mamoru?
I don't understand, I mean... I know you'd rather work here than over
there, but weren't you so worried about Mamoru? You talked about him
all the time and how upset you were that he wasn't getting any better...
And now you hardly ever mention his name."
Usagi felt her heart suddenly pounding nervously. She fidgeted and
squirmed uncomfortably. What could she say?
"I just... I just didn't want to work there. And it's too much pressure
on me with Grace there in the same vicinity and everything."
She knew it didn't sound half convincing as the other lie and she knew
Michael could tell she was lying. He frowned.
"Did he... do anything or say anything to you?" Michael asked, trying
to get her to look at him.
Usagi bit her lip and shook her head. Why did she feel this need to lie?
Because she was sure it would hurt Michael? Was she afraid to hurt so
many people who cared about her?
"Come on Usagi, I haven't been pretending to be in love with you.. I can
tell when you're not telling me the truth," he whispered and gently
brushed her cheek with his hand.
She flinched when she felt his hand on her face. And she moved away from
him.
"Michael I have to get back to work," she mumbled and tried to walk away.
He grabbed her arm and pulled her back.
"Tell me Usagi! Why won't you tell me the truth?" he frowned.
"Because you won't want to hear it!" she cried, trying to get out of his
strong grasp.
Michael weakened for a few minutes and Usagi slipped out of his arms.
"What do you mean.....?" he murmured in shock.
Usagi could feel her heart twisting and her stomach churning. She felt
like her small body couldn't take it any more. As she opened her mouth,
she felt something else... Something was wrong. Her eyes darted frantically
and Michael noticed.
"What's the matter Usagi?"
She shook her head to ignore it, but it was still there. She could feel it.
Something was wrong, someone was in pain. Someone, somewhere.... And she
thought of Mamoru. She had to see him.
Mamoru sat, dazed and groggy. He was dreaming again. But he felt different
somehow. He wasn't confused because he knew where he was and all the pieces
had been fitted together, all except the princess. He had guessed she had
something to do with the future. The little blonde girl had been the past,
Usagi herself was the present. He sighed and looked around, lost and utterly
alone in this vast empty black space.
"Usagi..." he whispered softly, feeling tears fall down his cheeks.
He hadn't meant to cry, but the tears just fell. And he cried silently for
a while, huddling and quivering. He heard soft footsteps walking towards
him and his head snapped up and saw the little blonde girl. She looked
serious and not her usual cheerful self.
"What's... wrong?" he asked, his voice broken with sobs.
She didn't answer, but kept her head lowered in a sullen mood. Why?
He reached out to touch her, but she dissapeared into thin air. His hand
shook as he sat there, frozen. Where did she go? And why? He moved his
hand about, but she had gone. Then he heard a more louder sound, the
clicking of heels. He swivelled around and saw her, Usagi.
"Usagi?" he whispered.
She only looked at him coldly. There was no warm smile, no gentle voice.
Then she turned abruptly, about to leave him. He scrambled up and reached
out to grab her hand, but she dissappeared. He stood there in absolute
shock and confusion. What was going on? He felt strange, as if... As if
some part of him had left like when Usagi had told him she loved Michael.
He felt his heart twisting into a knot. It just kept squeezing tighter
and tighter. He was gasping for breath and he crumpled back down onto the
ground. If this was a dream, he wanted it to be over. Why couldn't he just
wake up?
"I want to wake up!!!" he screamed at the darkness. "Get me out of here!!"
But there was no reply and not even an echo of his voice. He stood up,
his body feeling incredibly heavy as if there was a strange force of
gravity pulling him down. The air felt thick. He looked around, wondering
why he was having a dream like this again, after two weeks of dreamless
nights. Then he suddenly felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned around and
saw the princess. She was a little sad.
"It's not your fault," she smiled weakly. "But do you still love her?"
"Of course!" he replied immediately.
"Then I suppose, I will see you again..."
Her eyes lit up a little and her hands flicked away his fringe.
"In a dream?" he asked, puzzled.
She didn't reply. She acted like she didn't hear his question. Her eyes
looked deep into his, but he didn't feel uncomfortable. They stood there
in silence.
"Who are you?" he whispered.
She smiled, then shook her head as if to say she couldn't tell him.
"Wha..." he started, but was cut off.
The princess placed her slender finger on his lips.
"Think about her always and one day we will meet again," she murmured,
then looked as if she was going to cry.
Mamoru smiled. "I'll look forward to it."
And he reached out to touch her face, but she dissappeared into thin air.
He was alone once more. Alone in the darkness. The little blonde girl had
left him. Usagi had left him. The princess.... left him too. He knew why,
deep down he knew. But he just didn't want to admit it. They had left him
because his heart knew that Usagi had no place in her heart for him. So
there was no reason for them to stay any more. Even if he loved her, if
she didn't love him then they wouldn't exist.
"Please don't leave me here, alone..." Mamoru whispered. "Please.."
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END OF PART NINE
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A Stroll Through Your Dream
By Artemis
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PART NINE
Mamoru opened his eyes. He felt incredibly tired, his whole body
aching with pain.... But somehow he felt awake. He didn't want
to wake up, but he couldn't close his eyes and go back to sleep.
It had been another night without a dream. Nothing. He didn't
feel anything, he hadn't remembered anything, he hadn't seen the
princess or.... the little blonde haired girl.
"Usagi..." he murmured slowly.
His hand moved slowly around the side of the bed, but he couldn't
feel her there. Two weeks ago, she had always been there and stayed
by his side. Mamoru strained and twisted his neck to see if maybe,
just maybe, she was there. He saw an empty space where she would
have been... could have been, if he hadn't told her. But how did he
know she was in love with Michael? How did he know.... And he wished
he hadn't said a word. Rejection he could maybe handle, but if Usagi
had just not felt the same way, at least he could try and persuade
her feelings somehow... Or at least maybe try and be friends on some
level. But now he knew she loved someone else, how could he try and
steal her away? He couldn't... She loved Michael and he was his friend.
He couldn't try to get Usagi to see himself, just to make himself
happy.. And surely Michael wouldn't forgive him for that. Had Usagi
told him anything? He hoped not. Michael was not one to think logically
when he was upset. If only he hadn't given in to his urge to hold her
and to tell her... those words. If only... If only what? He didn't know
any more. Mamoru suddenly felt a sweeping feeling overcoming his mind
and body, making him close his eyes and drift off to sleep.
Usagi watched the little boy settle down to sleep. She smiled and ruffled
his hair lightly as he lay down. Ever since that day... with Mamoru,
she had been taking care of this little boy who looked just like him.
Every night and every day for two weeeks, she couldn't help but think
about Mamoru. He was so alone in that room of his, no one to talk to and
no one to be there for him. And he had seemed so bitter towards other
staff there, as if it had been their fault he wasn't getting any better.
Or, as Michael had told her, he was angry because they wouldn't let him
leave the room. He was trapped in a prison that prevented him from doing
anything... And would he ever fly to space again? She worried about him
constantly and wanted to talk to Michael about it, but she wasn't sure
what he would think. She didn't want to sound like all she ever thought
about was Mamoru, but she always thought about him, more than Michael.
She shook her head and tried to forget about that incident which kept
haunting her. Why did she feel so bad, so guilty, so.... regretful?
"Usagi?" a voice broke her thoughts.
Her eyes flickered over to the owner of the voice, Michael. He looked
worried.
"Hi Michael," she smiled cheerfully.
Michael glanced at the little boy, then to Usagi.
"Am I disturbing you?" he whispered.
"No, he's just fallen asleep. Let's talk out there," she whispered and
walked past him and headed out the door.
Michael seemed a little uneasy or nervous about something. Usagi wondered
why.
"Is something wrong?" she asked him, since he never really visited her
during the day.
"Usagi, what really is the reason why you didn't want to be Mamoru's
nurse any more? I know it's been a while and I didn't want to ask you
in case it upset you, but it's been bugging me ever since..." his voice
sounding low and quiet.
She was surprised by the question and didn't know what to say.
"That little boy... he's the reason why you gave up looking after Mamoru?
I don't understand, I mean... I know you'd rather work here than over
there, but weren't you so worried about Mamoru? You talked about him
all the time and how upset you were that he wasn't getting any better...
And now you hardly ever mention his name."
Usagi felt her heart suddenly pounding nervously. She fidgeted and
squirmed uncomfortably. What could she say?
"I just... I just didn't want to work there. And it's too much pressure
on me with Grace there in the same vicinity and everything."
She knew it didn't sound half convincing as the other lie and she knew
Michael could tell she was lying. He frowned.
"Did he... do anything or say anything to you?" Michael asked, trying
to get her to look at him.
Usagi bit her lip and shook her head. Why did she feel this need to lie?
Because she was sure it would hurt Michael? Was she afraid to hurt so
many people who cared about her?
"Come on Usagi, I haven't been pretending to be in love with you.. I can
tell when you're not telling me the truth," he whispered and gently
brushed her cheek with his hand.
She flinched when she felt his hand on her face. And she moved away from
him.
"Michael I have to get back to work," she mumbled and tried to walk away.
He grabbed her arm and pulled her back.
"Tell me Usagi! Why won't you tell me the truth?" he frowned.
"Because you won't want to hear it!" she cried, trying to get out of his
strong grasp.
Michael weakened for a few minutes and Usagi slipped out of his arms.
"What do you mean.....?" he murmured in shock.
Usagi could feel her heart twisting and her stomach churning. She felt
like her small body couldn't take it any more. As she opened her mouth,
she felt something else... Something was wrong. Her eyes darted frantically
and Michael noticed.
"What's the matter Usagi?"
She shook her head to ignore it, but it was still there. She could feel it.
Something was wrong, someone was in pain. Someone, somewhere.... And she
thought of Mamoru. She had to see him.
Mamoru sat, dazed and groggy. He was dreaming again. But he felt different
somehow. He wasn't confused because he knew where he was and all the pieces
had been fitted together, all except the princess. He had guessed she had
something to do with the future. The little blonde girl had been the past,
Usagi herself was the present. He sighed and looked around, lost and utterly
alone in this vast empty black space.
"Usagi..." he whispered softly, feeling tears fall down his cheeks.
He hadn't meant to cry, but the tears just fell. And he cried silently for
a while, huddling and quivering. He heard soft footsteps walking towards
him and his head snapped up and saw the little blonde girl. She looked
serious and not her usual cheerful self.
"What's... wrong?" he asked, his voice broken with sobs.
She didn't answer, but kept her head lowered in a sullen mood. Why?
He reached out to touch her, but she dissapeared into thin air. His hand
shook as he sat there, frozen. Where did she go? And why? He moved his
hand about, but she had gone. Then he heard a more louder sound, the
clicking of heels. He swivelled around and saw her, Usagi.
"Usagi?" he whispered.
She only looked at him coldly. There was no warm smile, no gentle voice.
Then she turned abruptly, about to leave him. He scrambled up and reached
out to grab her hand, but she dissappeared. He stood there in absolute
shock and confusion. What was going on? He felt strange, as if... As if
some part of him had left like when Usagi had told him she loved Michael.
He felt his heart twisting into a knot. It just kept squeezing tighter
and tighter. He was gasping for breath and he crumpled back down onto the
ground. If this was a dream, he wanted it to be over. Why couldn't he just
wake up?
"I want to wake up!!!" he screamed at the darkness. "Get me out of here!!"
But there was no reply and not even an echo of his voice. He stood up,
his body feeling incredibly heavy as if there was a strange force of
gravity pulling him down. The air felt thick. He looked around, wondering
why he was having a dream like this again, after two weeks of dreamless
nights. Then he suddenly felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned around and
saw the princess. She was a little sad.
"It's not your fault," she smiled weakly. "But do you still love her?"
"Of course!" he replied immediately.
"Then I suppose, I will see you again..."
Her eyes lit up a little and her hands flicked away his fringe.
"In a dream?" he asked, puzzled.
She didn't reply. She acted like she didn't hear his question. Her eyes
looked deep into his, but he didn't feel uncomfortable. They stood there
in silence.
"Who are you?" he whispered.
She smiled, then shook her head as if to say she couldn't tell him.
"Wha..." he started, but was cut off.
The princess placed her slender finger on his lips.
"Think about her always and one day we will meet again," she murmured,
then looked as if she was going to cry.
Mamoru smiled. "I'll look forward to it."
And he reached out to touch her face, but she dissappeared into thin air.
He was alone once more. Alone in the darkness. The little blonde girl had
left him. Usagi had left him. The princess.... left him too. He knew why,
deep down he knew. But he just didn't want to admit it. They had left him
because his heart knew that Usagi had no place in her heart for him. So
there was no reason for them to stay any more. Even if he loved her, if
she didn't love him then they wouldn't exist.
"Please don't leave me here, alone..." Mamoru whispered. "Please.."
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END OF PART NINE
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