Whoa, took me long enough, eh? I had most of it done, but never got around to finishing off the last couple paragraphs. ^^; I had trouble logging in, too... I'm gonna go on a rampage and review fics now....or soon...sometime this week.
Behind stage, Selphie continued to discuss Raijin's condition with the paramedics. She argued that he was okay, and in no need of hospitalization. They would hear nothing of it, and dragged him away on a stretcher. Now the question was: Who would play Mr. Pumblechook?
".....Xu! Where's Xu?!" she screeched.
"Prob'ly in the audience," answered Zell.
"Quistis, find Xu and tell her there's a fire backstage!"
Quistis began to walk out, when the reality of the request hit her. "Why....?"
"We're dying out there!" She turned her head in Zell's direction. "ZELL." Quistis and Selphie sighed loud enough that he could hear them. "You think she'd want to be a part of this mess? ZELL."
Zell nervously fidgeted with the buttons on his jacket until one popped off.
"Alright," Quistis shrugged and ran out the door and into the audience.
Once she was gone, Selphie jogged over to Squall who was reaching the end of his line. "Keep it going until Xu gets up here!"
He nodded slightly, racking his brain to find a way to continue speaking without making up nonsense. ".....Then one day as I....erm....was strolling down a dirt road, I spotted a vagabond. Being curious as to why this man was a vagabond and looked....vagabondish...I said to him, 'Sir, why art thou a vagabond'? He replied, quite gruffly, 'Cause I work at the coal mines...yonder. Dost thou feel the chilling wind? I 'spect that winter is nigh.' "
Selphie smacked her forehead.
"What happened?! Get everyone out of here!! Someone call the fire department!" Xu frantically ran to the group.
"Oh, hi, Xu." Selphie smiled.
"What's going on? Where's the fire?!"
Selphie gave an embarrassed giggle. "My mistake, there is no fire.....Hey! Since you're here, why don't you take Raijin's place?"
"You did this on purpose," she hissed.
"Dressing rooms are right over there!" She forcefully pushed Xu into a small room where two ladies were waiting.
"But I don't know his lines!" she protested.
Selphie formed her fingers into an 'okay' sign. "Don't worry, you'll be great!"
Scene 3
"Mr. Pumblechook and I breakfasted at eight in the parlor behind the shop. When ten o'clock came, we started for Miss Havisham's."
Xu grabbed Zell by the collar and brought him over to Squall. "Is that our cue? Do we go on?!"
Squall glanced at the paper then back at them. "...Yeah..."
They walked onto stage and past the styrofoam gate.
"The mansion was surrounded by a marvelous garden with one of those little fountain thingies that have those naked cherub kids....." Squall shook his head. "This doesn't sound like something Dickens would write."
"I told you! It's been 'modernized'," whispered Selphie.
"All of a sudden in scene 3?" He wrinkled his brow, emphasizing his perturbment.
"Bite me. It's not like your 'vagabond' speech was any better." She stood quietly, watching them walk up to the entrance. "You didn't finish the opening," she grumbled.
And I'm not going to," retorted Squall.
"Do it.
"But it's-"
"It's my play!" she whined. "Haven't I been through enough?"
He sighed. "Fine." "Those naked cherub kids that pee into the lake below." "Happy?!"
Selphie giggled. "That's not what it says!" She grabbed the script from his hands and wiped away a fleck of dirt.
Squall observed the newly de-flecked manuscript. "And peatmoss that gathers in the lake below....." "Oh."
"Somebody feels stupid." She grinned mockingly.
Xu released Zell's collar so she could knock on the door. Rinoa pulled the left door open and glared coldly at Zell. "Good day," Xu greeted.
She tilted her head. "I thought we were expecting rain," Rinoa answered.
Zell raised his eyebrow.
"I'm here to drop off.....Purp?"
"Pip," he corrected.
"Pip. Is the lady of the house in?"
Rinoa reached for Zell's hand and pulled him into the doorway. "Yes, I'll take him to Miss Havisham." And with that, she slammed the door closed. Xu stood patiently for a bit, then realized they weren't coming back and ran off stage.
Scene 4
Rinoa took Zell up to the 'second floor'. "What is the name of this house, miss?" he questioned.
"Satis; which is Greek, or Latin, or Hebrew, or German, or French, or Swahili, or Norse, or Japanese, or-"
"Enough House! That's a curious name."
"No, it's called Satis House," she informed.
"Right...."
The stage crew replaced the scenery to reveal a dark room lit by candles. Quistis sat in a wooden chair wearing a faded wedding dress and one shoe. "Who is it?" she asked wearily.
"Pip, ma'am."
"Come nearer, let me look at you."
He cautiously walked closer.
"Look at me. You are not afraid of a woman who has not seen the sun since you were born?"
"Actually-"
"YOU ARE VERY BRAVE," she said, trying to drown out his reply. "Do you know what I touch here?" Quistis put a hand over the left side of her chest.
He grinned. "Do you really want me to answer that?"
"My heart. BROKEN!"
Quistis stressed the words so harshly, Zell jumped back.
"Now, play a game of cards with Estella," she ordered.
He walked over to a small table where Rinoa was waiting and sat down. She immediately dealt the stack. "Can we play 'Old Maid'?"
Quistis stood up abruptly. "Stop calling me that!" Zell and Rinoa stared quizzically at her. When she realized what she had done, she quietly sat back down and smoothed out her dress.
They both shrugged it off, and Rinoa continued where they left off. "No, fool."
Offended by her comment, he harshly picked up his stack. He eyed them suspiciously, picking some out and moving others around. "Ha! Full house. Beat that, kumquat!"
"You silly twit!" she commented, placing a card on the table. "You ugly, lopsided, cheese-smelling wretch! You suck! Cry, boy! Shed some tears!"
Zell's fists tightened as he pounded one on the table. "If you weren't a girl, I'd beat you up," he growled.
"It's in the script!" she defended.
"Tch, yeah." Scanning the room, he immediately calmed down. "Too many witnesses..."
Quistis cleared her throat. "You....say nothing of her....but she says many harsh things of you."
"You mean my threats weren't good enough?!"
"Er....What do you think of her? Tell me in my ear."
Zell threw down his cards and strolled over to where she sat. "I think she is very stuck-up, obnoxious, rude-"
"Watch it, Dincht!" Rinoa yelled from the table.
"....Anything else?"
"I think she is very ugly. Her nose is crooked and her eyebrows have bare patches-"
Quistis grabbed his collar and flung him toward her. "When this is over, you'll answer to me, then I'll turn you over to Selphie and her Strange Vision," she growled. "Anything else?"
"I...uh...think she is very insulting."
"Anything else?"
"I think I should like to go home."
"And never see her again?"
"I'll see her again, she's in my chemistry class."
Quistis sighed and shook her head. She wondered why the audience hadn't turned into an angry mob by now....Probably because they were busy taking pictures for blackmail.
Squall's voice echoed throughout the room. "The weekly meetings with Miss Havisham continued, and I noticed Estella grew more beautiful each day. When I began my training with Joe, we were both summoned for a visit."
Nida made his entrance, which was followed by applause and whistles from the crowd. Zell lagged behind and when he entered the audience silenced immediately. Zell turned his head, curious as to why they stopped suddenly, but was answered by a lone cough.
"Hmph."
Rinoa led them into the room where Quistis sat. They greeted her and took a seat. "You are the husband of the sister of this boy?" she addressed Nida.
Nida opened his mouth, but said nothing.
"Yo! She asked you if-"
"Have you brought his indentures with you?" she asked.
"You....you're selling me?!"
Nida laughed lightheartedly. "No, Pip, you're goin' to be my apprentice!"
Zell stared expectantly at Nida. "...What does 'indentures' mean again?"
Nida and Quistis sighed simultaneously.
"You expected no premium with the boy," she said.
"Excuse me!?" Zell yelled. "I'm not good enough to get bonuses?"
"NO," they answered in unison.
Quistis found a small pouch and handed it to Nida. Continuing with the script, she remarked, "Pip has earned a premium here."
"Make up your mind, sheesh!"
".....There are five-and-twenty guineas in this bag."
Zell's face cringed as he stared at the bag. "Dead guinea pigs? Eww."
"Money, you insolent little beggar!" she screamed, rising from her chair and throwing a fist in the air.
"Are you testy because you're missing a shoe and your foot's cold?"
She growled, but sat back down. "You are NOT to come here ever, ever, ever, EVER, again. Gargery is your master now." Quistis motioned for Nida and he came right over. She whispered in his ear, then bid farewell to he and Zell.
Scene 5
"It was in the fourth year of my apprenticeship to Joe, and it was a Saturday night. There was a group assembled round the fire at the Three Jolly Bargemen. Of that group I was one. I became aware of a strange gentleman who-" He flipped through the script. "Who what?"
"Oh," Selphie said as she finished buttoning her outfit. "I didn't get around to finishing that. Just skip ahead."
"Won't that sound-" He shook his head. "Guess it doesn't matter anymore..." He turned the page. "I wonder if anyone would notice if I skipped a few scenes...." "The stranger, Mr. Jaggers, became my guardian and took me to London, where I met Herbert, Mr. Pocket---and other various characters that weren't important enough to find actors to portray them." He finished the rest of the sentence quickly, not pausing once. Ignoring the homicidal glare from Selphie, he continued. "Herbert had renamed me Handel, due to my upbringing as a blacksmith-actually, it's a long story, one which I do not wish to tell. We got to know each other better, and on one occasion the subject of Estella arose."
The spotlights brightened upon Nida (who had changed into his Herbert costume) and Squall, who came running out from the left side of the stage.
"You say you know Miss Havisham. What relation is Estella to her?" Squall asked politely.
"She is adopted-"
"Oh my God! What a strange twist of events! The enigma has been made clear! I see the light!" The audience member was forcefully escorted off the premises.
Nida cleared his throat. "And has been brought up to wreak revenge on all the male sex."
Still eyeing the audience, Squall asked, "....Why?"
"The spoon is not generally used overhand, but under. This has two advantages-"
Squall grabbed Nida's arm. "What the hell are you talking about?"
"....Dinner manners. In England you do not put the knife in the mouth-for fear of accidents-"
"I think Selphie wanted us to skip that part."
"....Oh....Well, about Miss Havisham-"
Zell came running from the side stage and skidded, nearly bumping into Squall. "Sorry, I forgot it was my cue," he gasped.
Squall was quick to push him behind a large cardboard cut-out of a bookshelf. "You're done, so go talk to Selphie and stop murdering the play!"
Zell's shoulders slumped, and Squall was unsure if he was offended or relieved. He made sure Zell was off stage before he continued his conversation with Nida.
"In a nutshell, Ms. H was supposed to marry this guy who stole her money and ended up leaving her, which drove her insane an' all."
Squall nodded. "And to think it took Dickens ten paragraphs to explain it...."
Zell solemnly strolled up to Selphie. "Am I really finished? I mean, that's it? My part's over?"
"Thank God Almighty." She sighed and rolled her eyes toward the ceiling.
".....Aren't there any other parts open?"
Selphie fixed her gaze on him. "Before the play started you were constantly cussing out Dickens."
He shrugged modestly. "So there aren't any left?"
"Oh..." She grinned. "I'm sure I can find something..."