Author's Note: Okay, here's the first official chapter of my short weird little story. Maybe now the G-boys will understand how we fanfic authors feel being pestered by muses day and night... ^_^ Oh, yeah, thoughts are between these cute little deally bobbers * * and these ~ ~ are for emphasis.
Disclaimer: Don't own any characters yadda yadda yadda, but the interpretation of Greek mythological figures is - ahem - "unique" and no one else can have them! Shounen ai, if you don't like it don't read it, and characters probably OOC. Keep out of the reach of children, store in a cool dry place, read warning lables before using, and KEEP AWAY FROM FLAMES!
Quatre lounged outside his mansion by the pool, trying to take advantage of a mission-free period. With OZ's new beefed-up security, he doubted they'd be able to do anything much for a while. So he was trying to relax while he had the time.
By some strange circumstances, it'd been safer for all the pilots to join him at the nearest Winner-owned home {1}. Next to him, Duo slept on his belly. Quatre considered waking him before he got a sunburn, but he looked too peaceful. Heero was swimming laps in the pool as a training exercise, and Wufei was off worshipping Nataku. Trowa was sitting in his swim trunks in the shade, reading a book. Quatre sighed quietly as he took in every detail of the tall boy.
* He's so handsome. I wonder what he's reading? And you've got to love the way his bangs fall over his eye from that angle... * he thought dreamily.
A sudden shout of cackling laugher snapped him out of his reverie. He glanced around sharply, looking for the source. There was no one there. And no one else seemed to have heard...
"Hah! Here he is, Erry! You go get the other one," a female voice brimming with mischief declared with another round of manic giggles.
"Thalia, shut up! They'll hear you!" a baritone voice warned.
"No they won't. None of them are psychic enough to tell a god from a poltergeist," the girl's voice said.
"I think that blonde one is. Hey, Blondie! Can you hear us?"
Quatre gave a slight, dazed nod, a bit worried that he was hearing voices in his head.
"There, you see?" the male voice said with a combination of smugness and irritation. "You haven't even been at this for five minutes and you've blown our cover already. You're sooo going to lose."
"Shut up," the voice identified as Thalia said tartly. "I think I can still turn this to our advantage."
"Oh yeah? How?"
"Like this. Hey, Blondie! Go somewhere private! We wanna talk to you!"
Quatre hesitated.
C'mon, we won't bite. Well, not unless you want us to..." the girl said insinuatingly.
"Perv," the boy said under his breath. The girl ignored him.
"Please kid? For the sake of love and under threat of eternal damnation to Tartarus?" she pleaded sweetly.
Quatre wondered if jumping into the pool would shock him out of this hallucination. He'd been out in the sun for far too long; the heat was really getting to him.
"You go someplace private," Thalia said, her tone suddenly threatening. "Or I'll....I'll sing."
"You wouldn't dare," the male voice said after a short pause.
"Oh no?"
"Blondie, if you don't get moving right now, it's both our ears," he said urgently.
"Memememememeeeeeeeee!" She was starting her warm-ups.
Quatre winced. If the horrible singing voice hadn't been in his head, it would've shattered glass.
"Uh, guys, I'm going to get something to drink. Anyone else want anything?" he asked, standing. Duo slept on obliviously, and Heero hadn't heard. Trowa looked from his book to Quatre.
"I'd like whatever you're having," he said quietly.
For some reason, his gaze was eliciting a slight blush from the Arabian, who nodded shyly before turning to walk into the house. He found his way to the kitchen, then quickly checked to make sure no one was nearby.
"Who are you? What are you? Why are you talking to me?" he demanded when his searched proved no one was there.
"I'm Thalia, the Muse of Comedy, and my co-worker here is Eros, the God of Looooove," the female voice said teasingly.
"The...muse of comedy and the god of love?" Quatre asked faintly.
"Yes," said Eros.
"Ummm..." Quatre said intelligently. "Why are you in my head?"
Thalia laughed.
"Poor kid! Thinks we're in his head!" she giggled. Quatre frowned at being called a kid.
"We're not in your head, but that's where you hear us. See, we aren't comepletely material in you plane of existance right now, so most people can't hear us when we speak. But psychics are partially in our plane of existance, so they can 'hear' us in their heads," Eros explained patiently. "What's your name?"
"I'm Quatre Winner. So if you're not in my head, where are you? And why are you talking to me?"
"Erry, I think we should show ourselves to him. It might prove to him that he's not going insane," Thalia said dryly. "Besides, what more harm could it do? We've already blown our cover."
Eros sighed gustily.
"All right. But only to him. We're already going to be in trouble with Mom," he grumbled.
With a snapping sound and puffs of purple and white smoke, two other people were standing in the kitchen. One was a pretty, short teen-aged girl with violet hair and eyes in a toga of the same color. She grinned at him and gave him a wink. The other was tall, well-muscled, tanned boy in his late teens, wearing only a white loosely-belted loincloth. Over his shoulders were slung a bow and quiver. White wings behind him were half outstretched, and wavy sand-colored hair hung in a short mane around his head. {2} Quatre tried to keep from drooling.
"Well we know who ~he~ likes better," Thalia observed with a larger grin. Quatre tore his eyes away from the young god, and blushed.
"If I'm going mad I may as well enjoy my hallucinations," he said philosophically.
"We ain't no hallucinations, kid," she chuckled.
"Why are you here?" he asked, now quite annoyed at being called kid.
"We are on a mission of great importance for Aphrodite herself," Eros said, drawing himself up proudly.
"Really? And this mission is?" he asked, resigning himself to the situation.
"Can I tell him? Maybe he could help. It would make things easier," the muse said reasonably. The winged teen considered for a moment, then shrugged.
"You can't make things much worse."
"Thanks for the vote of confidence, pal," she said dryly, then turned to Quatre. "We're here to hook up a couple of your friends. Duo and his opposite, to be exact."
"Sorry to burst your bubble, but Duo doesn't like Heero. Well, not as a lover anyway. And we're all pretty sure Heero is asexual or something, {3} so -"
"who said anything about Heero?" Eros asked with a slightly surprised look. "Duo's opposite is Wufei. I thought it was obvious."
Quatre's eyebrows shot up.
"~Wufei?~ But - but he doesn't even ~like~ Duo!" he exclaimed.
"That's the whole point of assigning matchmakers. Duh," Thalia said, as if the inner workings of divine intervention in people's love lives were common knowledge. "Will you help us?"
"I don't know... I mean, I know they're both lonely, but..." he trailed off, not knowing exactly what he was objecting to.
"C'mon. You'll be bringing two hearts together in eternal bliss," she coaxed with a winning smile.
"Well..."
"We could make it worth your while," she added with a wink.
"......." Quatre said succinctly, then wondered if he had been hanging around Trowa too long. Then he sighed. He could never hang around Trowa too much...
"Quatre," a quiet voice from behind him spoke. He jumped and whirled to see Trowa standing in the doorway.
"Oh, Trowa. You startled me," he said, wondering how long the unibanged boy had been standing there. He felt a blush coming on, suddenly aware that all he had on was his swim trunks.
"You were taking so long with the drinks I thought I'd come see if you needed help," Trowa said, detatching himself from the doorframe to stand next to him.
"Sorry," the blonde boy apologized with a small smile.
"Who's this?" Thalia inquired interestedly from somewhere very close to his ear. He just barely restrained another jump. "He's cute."
"So where are the drinks?"
"I - ah - haven't gotten them yet. I didn't know if you would prefer soda or lemonade," he invented glibly, giving the taller boy a patented innocent look.
"Awww, you're cute too," the violet-haired girl said with a giggle.
"It doesn't matter. Anyway, Duo woke up and he's thirsty," Trowa informed him.
"Well, I'll make a pitcher of lemonade and be right out," Quatre said, gently trying to push Trowa back out the door. "I'll bring out some snacks, too; he'll probably be hungry as well."
"What're you trying to get rid of him for?" Thalia demanded, pouting.
"Actually, I could help. You can't carry everything out yourself," Trowa said, taking Quatre's hands off his chest and looking down into the shorter boy's eyes. Quatre froze as liquid emeralds held his gaze.
* I love his eyes * he thought.
Then a giggle startled him, making him involuntarily jerk his hands out of Trowa's.
"Are they all that sweet, Erry?"
"Idiot!" was the responce. Quatre was inclined to agree.
"All right," he said to Trowa, not meeting his eyes for fear of what he would see. "Could you get a pitcher from the pantry while I get the mix?"
A nod was his only answer. Trowa left for the pantry, walking right through Thalia without noticing, who's already silly grin got sillier. Quatre felt a strange pang jealousy.
"Thanks a lot," he whispered sarcastically. "Some matchmakers you two are."
"Sorry, kid," the muse said, looking guilty and sincere. "But we can fix it. Right, Erry?"
"What do you mean 'we?' You're the the one who messed up. But I could help if you help us," the God of Love said smoothly. "And you'd better get the mix out, your boyfriend is coming back."
Quatre rushed to get the frozen tube of lemonade mix from the freezer. Just then Trowa came in, setting the pitcher on the counter. Watching the handsome pilot move, Quatre came to a decision.
"You want Wufei and Duo together soon?" he asked in a whisper so quiet he himself could hardly hear it.
"As soon as possible," Eros said.
"Trowa, thanks a lot, but could you go get Wufei and bring him down to the pool? Since we're all going to be there anyway, I figured we could have lunch al fresco," he said, smiling hopefully.
"Okay," Trowa said quietly, then left. Quatre sagged against the counter, then gave his strange companions and uninterpretable look.
"Can you make yourselves solid?" he asked suddenly.
"Yep. We ~are~ Gods, after all," Thalia said.
"Well, do so. You're going to make sandwiches for five starved teenaged pilots," he said, beginning to make the lemonade. "The bread's over there, and the Miracle Whip, meat, and cheese are all in the fridge. Well? What are you waiting for?"
The two Olympians exchanged looks. Thalia shrugged.
"You gotta see the irony here," she said, then snapped her fingers. She began to get the ingredients out. Eros sighed and snapped his fingers, also becoming solid. He frowned as he began to spread Miracle Whip on the bread.
"Say, Quatre, ever hear the one about the rabbi, the elephant, and the sky-diving stripper?" Thalia asked cheerfully.
"Er-"
"Good! So this rabbi walks into a bar -"
Quatre sighed. The things one did for love...
Author's Note:
{1}- Yeah, 'home.' More like fifty-room mansion with two olympic-sized pools, eight tennis courts, three personal gyms, six acres of grounds, and a mobile suit hangar.
{2}- Eros: Hey! I'm hot! ::struts::
Quatre, Thalia ::drool::
He's so humble.
{3}- No, he isn't able to reproduce by himself! (icky thought, ne?) I mean, he isn't interested in ANYONE, male or female. I am NOT a HYxRP fan, and I don't want Heero getting in the way of my Fei-chan. ^_^
Well, all I can say is poor Quatre. Now, about reviews... Eros?
Eros ::nocks an arrow with a heart-shaped point to his bow and aims at the readers::
If you don't review, Eros will make you fall in love with the nearest rabid wart hog. So it's really in your best interest to review. PLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAASSSSE????? Arigato! ^_^
Disclaimer: Don't own any characters yadda yadda yadda, but the interpretation of Greek mythological figures is - ahem - "unique" and no one else can have them! Shounen ai, if you don't like it don't read it, and characters probably OOC. Keep out of the reach of children, store in a cool dry place, read warning lables before using, and KEEP AWAY FROM FLAMES!
Quatre lounged outside his mansion by the pool, trying to take advantage of a mission-free period. With OZ's new beefed-up security, he doubted they'd be able to do anything much for a while. So he was trying to relax while he had the time.
By some strange circumstances, it'd been safer for all the pilots to join him at the nearest Winner-owned home {1}. Next to him, Duo slept on his belly. Quatre considered waking him before he got a sunburn, but he looked too peaceful. Heero was swimming laps in the pool as a training exercise, and Wufei was off worshipping Nataku. Trowa was sitting in his swim trunks in the shade, reading a book. Quatre sighed quietly as he took in every detail of the tall boy.
* He's so handsome. I wonder what he's reading? And you've got to love the way his bangs fall over his eye from that angle... * he thought dreamily.
A sudden shout of cackling laugher snapped him out of his reverie. He glanced around sharply, looking for the source. There was no one there. And no one else seemed to have heard...
"Hah! Here he is, Erry! You go get the other one," a female voice brimming with mischief declared with another round of manic giggles.
"Thalia, shut up! They'll hear you!" a baritone voice warned.
"No they won't. None of them are psychic enough to tell a god from a poltergeist," the girl's voice said.
"I think that blonde one is. Hey, Blondie! Can you hear us?"
Quatre gave a slight, dazed nod, a bit worried that he was hearing voices in his head.
"There, you see?" the male voice said with a combination of smugness and irritation. "You haven't even been at this for five minutes and you've blown our cover already. You're sooo going to lose."
"Shut up," the voice identified as Thalia said tartly. "I think I can still turn this to our advantage."
"Oh yeah? How?"
"Like this. Hey, Blondie! Go somewhere private! We wanna talk to you!"
Quatre hesitated.
C'mon, we won't bite. Well, not unless you want us to..." the girl said insinuatingly.
"Perv," the boy said under his breath. The girl ignored him.
"Please kid? For the sake of love and under threat of eternal damnation to Tartarus?" she pleaded sweetly.
Quatre wondered if jumping into the pool would shock him out of this hallucination. He'd been out in the sun for far too long; the heat was really getting to him.
"You go someplace private," Thalia said, her tone suddenly threatening. "Or I'll....I'll sing."
"You wouldn't dare," the male voice said after a short pause.
"Oh no?"
"Blondie, if you don't get moving right now, it's both our ears," he said urgently.
"Memememememeeeeeeeee!" She was starting her warm-ups.
Quatre winced. If the horrible singing voice hadn't been in his head, it would've shattered glass.
"Uh, guys, I'm going to get something to drink. Anyone else want anything?" he asked, standing. Duo slept on obliviously, and Heero hadn't heard. Trowa looked from his book to Quatre.
"I'd like whatever you're having," he said quietly.
For some reason, his gaze was eliciting a slight blush from the Arabian, who nodded shyly before turning to walk into the house. He found his way to the kitchen, then quickly checked to make sure no one was nearby.
"Who are you? What are you? Why are you talking to me?" he demanded when his searched proved no one was there.
"I'm Thalia, the Muse of Comedy, and my co-worker here is Eros, the God of Looooove," the female voice said teasingly.
"The...muse of comedy and the god of love?" Quatre asked faintly.
"Yes," said Eros.
"Ummm..." Quatre said intelligently. "Why are you in my head?"
Thalia laughed.
"Poor kid! Thinks we're in his head!" she giggled. Quatre frowned at being called a kid.
"We're not in your head, but that's where you hear us. See, we aren't comepletely material in you plane of existance right now, so most people can't hear us when we speak. But psychics are partially in our plane of existance, so they can 'hear' us in their heads," Eros explained patiently. "What's your name?"
"I'm Quatre Winner. So if you're not in my head, where are you? And why are you talking to me?"
"Erry, I think we should show ourselves to him. It might prove to him that he's not going insane," Thalia said dryly. "Besides, what more harm could it do? We've already blown our cover."
Eros sighed gustily.
"All right. But only to him. We're already going to be in trouble with Mom," he grumbled.
With a snapping sound and puffs of purple and white smoke, two other people were standing in the kitchen. One was a pretty, short teen-aged girl with violet hair and eyes in a toga of the same color. She grinned at him and gave him a wink. The other was tall, well-muscled, tanned boy in his late teens, wearing only a white loosely-belted loincloth. Over his shoulders were slung a bow and quiver. White wings behind him were half outstretched, and wavy sand-colored hair hung in a short mane around his head. {2} Quatre tried to keep from drooling.
"Well we know who ~he~ likes better," Thalia observed with a larger grin. Quatre tore his eyes away from the young god, and blushed.
"If I'm going mad I may as well enjoy my hallucinations," he said philosophically.
"We ain't no hallucinations, kid," she chuckled.
"Why are you here?" he asked, now quite annoyed at being called kid.
"We are on a mission of great importance for Aphrodite herself," Eros said, drawing himself up proudly.
"Really? And this mission is?" he asked, resigning himself to the situation.
"Can I tell him? Maybe he could help. It would make things easier," the muse said reasonably. The winged teen considered for a moment, then shrugged.
"You can't make things much worse."
"Thanks for the vote of confidence, pal," she said dryly, then turned to Quatre. "We're here to hook up a couple of your friends. Duo and his opposite, to be exact."
"Sorry to burst your bubble, but Duo doesn't like Heero. Well, not as a lover anyway. And we're all pretty sure Heero is asexual or something, {3} so -"
"who said anything about Heero?" Eros asked with a slightly surprised look. "Duo's opposite is Wufei. I thought it was obvious."
Quatre's eyebrows shot up.
"~Wufei?~ But - but he doesn't even ~like~ Duo!" he exclaimed.
"That's the whole point of assigning matchmakers. Duh," Thalia said, as if the inner workings of divine intervention in people's love lives were common knowledge. "Will you help us?"
"I don't know... I mean, I know they're both lonely, but..." he trailed off, not knowing exactly what he was objecting to.
"C'mon. You'll be bringing two hearts together in eternal bliss," she coaxed with a winning smile.
"Well..."
"We could make it worth your while," she added with a wink.
"......." Quatre said succinctly, then wondered if he had been hanging around Trowa too long. Then he sighed. He could never hang around Trowa too much...
"Quatre," a quiet voice from behind him spoke. He jumped and whirled to see Trowa standing in the doorway.
"Oh, Trowa. You startled me," he said, wondering how long the unibanged boy had been standing there. He felt a blush coming on, suddenly aware that all he had on was his swim trunks.
"You were taking so long with the drinks I thought I'd come see if you needed help," Trowa said, detatching himself from the doorframe to stand next to him.
"Sorry," the blonde boy apologized with a small smile.
"Who's this?" Thalia inquired interestedly from somewhere very close to his ear. He just barely restrained another jump. "He's cute."
"So where are the drinks?"
"I - ah - haven't gotten them yet. I didn't know if you would prefer soda or lemonade," he invented glibly, giving the taller boy a patented innocent look.
"Awww, you're cute too," the violet-haired girl said with a giggle.
"It doesn't matter. Anyway, Duo woke up and he's thirsty," Trowa informed him.
"Well, I'll make a pitcher of lemonade and be right out," Quatre said, gently trying to push Trowa back out the door. "I'll bring out some snacks, too; he'll probably be hungry as well."
"What're you trying to get rid of him for?" Thalia demanded, pouting.
"Actually, I could help. You can't carry everything out yourself," Trowa said, taking Quatre's hands off his chest and looking down into the shorter boy's eyes. Quatre froze as liquid emeralds held his gaze.
* I love his eyes * he thought.
Then a giggle startled him, making him involuntarily jerk his hands out of Trowa's.
"Are they all that sweet, Erry?"
"Idiot!" was the responce. Quatre was inclined to agree.
"All right," he said to Trowa, not meeting his eyes for fear of what he would see. "Could you get a pitcher from the pantry while I get the mix?"
A nod was his only answer. Trowa left for the pantry, walking right through Thalia without noticing, who's already silly grin got sillier. Quatre felt a strange pang jealousy.
"Thanks a lot," he whispered sarcastically. "Some matchmakers you two are."
"Sorry, kid," the muse said, looking guilty and sincere. "But we can fix it. Right, Erry?"
"What do you mean 'we?' You're the the one who messed up. But I could help if you help us," the God of Love said smoothly. "And you'd better get the mix out, your boyfriend is coming back."
Quatre rushed to get the frozen tube of lemonade mix from the freezer. Just then Trowa came in, setting the pitcher on the counter. Watching the handsome pilot move, Quatre came to a decision.
"You want Wufei and Duo together soon?" he asked in a whisper so quiet he himself could hardly hear it.
"As soon as possible," Eros said.
"Trowa, thanks a lot, but could you go get Wufei and bring him down to the pool? Since we're all going to be there anyway, I figured we could have lunch al fresco," he said, smiling hopefully.
"Okay," Trowa said quietly, then left. Quatre sagged against the counter, then gave his strange companions and uninterpretable look.
"Can you make yourselves solid?" he asked suddenly.
"Yep. We ~are~ Gods, after all," Thalia said.
"Well, do so. You're going to make sandwiches for five starved teenaged pilots," he said, beginning to make the lemonade. "The bread's over there, and the Miracle Whip, meat, and cheese are all in the fridge. Well? What are you waiting for?"
The two Olympians exchanged looks. Thalia shrugged.
"You gotta see the irony here," she said, then snapped her fingers. She began to get the ingredients out. Eros sighed and snapped his fingers, also becoming solid. He frowned as he began to spread Miracle Whip on the bread.
"Say, Quatre, ever hear the one about the rabbi, the elephant, and the sky-diving stripper?" Thalia asked cheerfully.
"Er-"
"Good! So this rabbi walks into a bar -"
Quatre sighed. The things one did for love...
Author's Note:
{1}- Yeah, 'home.' More like fifty-room mansion with two olympic-sized pools, eight tennis courts, three personal gyms, six acres of grounds, and a mobile suit hangar.
{2}- Eros: Hey! I'm hot! ::struts::
Quatre, Thalia ::drool::
He's so humble.
{3}- No, he isn't able to reproduce by himself! (icky thought, ne?) I mean, he isn't interested in ANYONE, male or female. I am NOT a HYxRP fan, and I don't want Heero getting in the way of my Fei-chan. ^_^
Well, all I can say is poor Quatre. Now, about reviews... Eros?
Eros ::nocks an arrow with a heart-shaped point to his bow and aims at the readers::
If you don't review, Eros will make you fall in love with the nearest rabid wart hog. So it's really in your best interest to review. PLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAASSSSE????? Arigato! ^_^