Regretting Nothing - Part 25
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing.
Author's Note: Chris and Angie came to see all of the Gundam pilots and Milliardo. Chris tried to stop Angie from saying anything more. After all, this is Sidney's fight. Another long chapter. I also too the liberty of repairing another mistake. I fixed what I had called Miliardo and Relena's mother in Nightmares. I found out that her name was Katrina, but to fix it from Nightmares, I put Ophelia as her middle name.
"Chris. Angie. Could you guys wait in the lobby for me?" asked Sidney.
"But, Sidney…" started Angie.
"It's alright. We'll be in the lobby. Isn't that right, Angie?" interrupted Chris. He took her arm. Angie tried to shake him off, but with no success.
"Sid, we should stay. We're here for you," said Angie.
"I know. But, this is something I have to do for myself. I'll be fine," reassured Sidney.
"Okay. We'll be in the lobby," said Chris as he dragged Angie out of the room.
"But…" she interrupted from the hall.
Chris looked back into the room. He closed the door. Sidney walked back to the door, and locked it. Sidney was dressed in black pants with Doc Martens. Her shirt was a navy blue and long sleeve. She wore her black pea coat over it. Sidney didn't have much time before she realized she had to come there. She didn't realized that she couldn't make Angie and Chris fight for her. It was her own fight. Sidney realized this too late, and since her car wasn't there, she had to take a cab. This didn't give her enough time to use the make up she usually used to hid the lack of sleep that she always experiencing. Sidney definitely didn't want them to see it, but what choice did she have?
"Hello, everyone. How have you been?" said Sidney, trying a to find a way to break the ice. This was the first time in five years, she had seen Duo, Trowa, Quatre, and Wufei face to face.
"Is that all you can say, Relena? We've been worried about you for days," said Milliardo angrily. She ignored his comment.
"Sidney, are you alright?" asked Quatre.
"Yes. I feel great, Quatre. I haven't felt this good in a while," Sidney said with a genuine smile on her face. Everyone was surprised that she answered him. Suddenly, it clicked. She wasn't responding to her old name, it was her new name.
"Sid, have you been getting enough sleep lately?" asked Duo with concern.
"No. I haven't. But, you should have already know that. Look I am here because I am tired of playing this game with all of you," said Sidney with a sigh.
"Chris and Angie were the only ones who agreed to see us because they were wanted to talk with us," said Milliardo.
"I should have told them to stay back. But, I wasn't thinking clearly. I was stuck somewhere else for a while. They can't fight my battles for me. I am through letting others fight for me. I also realized that not everything is my fault. Some of it is, but not all of it. And that there is nothing we can do about the past. We can't control it like the future. Even then, we don't know what the future will be," said Sidney thoughtful as she played with one of the earrings in her right ear.
None of the people in the room could say anything to that comment. Heero looked at her. He realized then that the person who was standing there was the real Relena Darlian Peacecraft, so to speak. This is the person that could have developed right in front of them given the chance.
"I forgot about my skills as a diplomat. I feel foolish about that. One should never forget old skills in favor of learning new ones. Therefore, I am willing to negotiate," said Sidney in a clear voice. She had walked up to her brother. Milliardo looked her in the eye. Their eyes were about eye level to each other.
"Angela Hart said that you were one of the best. I am very proud of you…Sidney. You excel at everything you do," compliment Milliardo.
"Not everything. I am a good doctor. In all the time I have ever practice, I have only lost one patient. Thus far, that is," Sidney said in a soft voice.
"Davenport? That was the first patient you couldn't save," said Milliardo. "No wonder, it wasn't a really good time to talk to you."
"I have learned that wasn't my fault. There was nothing I could do. I can't play God. I do my best and that's all I can hope for. I should stop feeling sorry for myself. It's pathetic and a waste of my time. Things could be worse. I could be dead. However, I also have learned not to keep things bottled up inside. It's unhealthy. I have also learned that I have to say what I want, and take it by force if necessary," said Sidney. She had a gleam in her eye. Her body was position not to attack, but to defend.
'What is it you want?" asked Milliardo. He always thought that he knew what she wanted. He made it a point to anticipate his sister's needs. He realized that he wasn't doing that if she was fighting him.
"I want my life back. I want what I have earned. You people lost the right the interfere in my life. You shouldn't have in the first place. This is my home now. This is where I belong. There are other people who really need me. Besides, life goes on. The world didn't collapse when I left, it progressed. No one is totally indispensable," said Sidney as she made a gesture while looking out of the window at the city below.
"Dr. Hart said that we were killing you slowly. What did she mean?" asked Trowa in a soft voice. It seemed as if everyone had forgotten that. Sidney looked at him. She turned her attention back to the window, and folded her arms over her chest.
"What's wrong with you, Woman? I know you are strong, but you are being weaken by something that you are hiding," said Wufei.
"First of all, I have a name. You can even call me Relena, but don't call me Woman. It's disrespectful," corrected Sidney. Everyone was surprised. Most women accepted it when Wufei called them "Women" or "Woman." They never corrected him, but they gave him funny looks. Wufei looked mildly surprise.
"Let's just say that the lack of sleep has something to do with it. And I'll be taking care of that soon enough," Sidney said in a final tone about the subject. There was no reason for them to know about the nightmares. They might know about the insomnia, but they didn't have to know about depression. It was something that she could take care of. With some help from Chris and Angie. But, they were a problem that she had to handle on her own without them.
"You said that you were willing to negotiate," said Heero in a quiet voice. Sidney looked at him. And nodded.
"First, let make me one point clear to all of you. I will not let you take any part of me. I'd like to know why you want me back at all. I have followed Wei Robinson's career since he was elected. He's done a better job than me. He obviously loves that job, while I grew to hate it . I'll use my diplomatic skills, but they are a little rusty. Since, we can't pretend none of this ever happened, I am willing to talk. I can't let you people haunt me for the rest of my life," said Sidney with a firm confident voice.
"We won't take away anything you have worked for. But, we would like to know why you left," said Milliardo there was a touch of pleading on his voice.
"Here is the short answer for now: I wasn't happy. That's it. Milliardo meet me tomorrow at the lobby at ten, here. Be prepared to spend the day with me. I'll talk to you first. I am really tired. I have to get some sleep. Please," said Sidney.
Milliardo looked at her. He was worried about her not sleeping very well. So, he nodded. Heero noticed that she was going to talk to him first. That she was willing to talk to him. 'Maybe, she'll talk to me, too,' thought Heero as he looked at her. She needed some sleep.
"Fine. I'll be at the lobby at ten. Thank you, Sidney," said Milliardo, "Where will you be from now till then?"
"At Chris's place," answered Sidney. There was nothing wrong with telling them.
"Wait. I just have to ask," Quatre said quietly.
"What?" asked Sidney looking at him.
"Why do you have so many earrings on one ear?" asked Quatre. Sidney smile and touched all the earring at once.
"When I was with the Physician Fliers, I was flying a helicopter. There was another pilot, Duncan, who had a bunch of earrings. Nine total, if I remember correctly. I asked him about them. He said that they represent each place he had been on rotation. I thought that was an interesting way of remembering. So, I decided to do that after each rotation, as way to celebrate. I did four rotations, as you probably already know. It was either that or get a tattoo. But, I didn't want to mutilate my body that way," Sidney finished with a good real laugh. The rest of the Gundam pilots looked at her. It has been a while since they were all in the same place with her laughing. Milliardo had a soft smile on his face. Heero smiled on the inside. Sidney kept on smiling.
"Each earring represents my freedom, Quatre. Together, they all represent who I am. I know that it sounds weird. Anyway, I have to go. See you tomorrow, Milliardo." Sidney left the room still smiling.
* * *
When Sidney got down to the lobby, Angie started to question her. But, Sidney didn't give much away. Chris had questions too, but kept them to himself. He noticed that she was a lot happier, then she had been in days. As if there was some great weight lifted off of her shoulders.
Sidney also said that she would meet with Milliardo tomorrow. Angie began to protest, but Chris stopped her. When they got back to Chris' place, they spent the day there. They talked and played pool. Then, Angie brought up the subject about the prescriptions. Both she and Chris, apologized about them. Sidney said it was alright. That she would have probably done the same, if she were in their positions. When Sidney found out that Quatre was the one who told Chris about them, Sidney just smiled. Sidney got worried about Angie for filling the prescriptions, but Angie reassured her that nothing was going to happen. Angie said that Sidney didn't have to take the pills for the depression because they weren't going to fix things. Sidney agreed with her. She agreed to take the sleeping pills.
At about ten, Angie gave Sidney some sleeping pills, so that she could get some sleep for tomorrow. Angie stayed with her until midnight in a chair, but Chris came and told Angie to sleep in his bed. He took over for the rest of the night.
* * *
Milliardo was at the lobby a half hour early. He knew that he was early, but he wanted to be there. He gave strict orders that no one is to follow them today. Milliardo looked forward to spending the day with his sister. Sidney showed up at ten minutes till the hour. She was wearing jeans, a white tee shirt, a jean jacket, and a pair sunglasses. Sidney also wore a pair of black sneakers. She took off her sunglasses, and revealed her sparkling blue eyes. Milliardo actually dressed casually. Which was strange for him.
"Hi. Did you wait long? I had to get my car back, and there was some traffic," said Sidney with a small smile on her face.
"No. Actually, I came down much earlier than I had to," revealed Milliardo.
"Oh. Well good, you are wearing walking shoes. We'll be spending the day on foot. We'll get to spend more time, and get some talking done that way," said Sidney noticing his attire, "I hope you don't mind."
"I don't mind. Were you able to get some sleep last night?" asked Milliardo.
"Yes. Thanks for asking. Have you ever seen this city?" asked Sidney.
"No. Not really," admitted Milliardo.
"Well, then I'll give you a tour. I've only been living here for a little while compared to most people, but I know the sights," said Sidney. Milliardo and Sidney walked out of the hotel together.
They spent the day together. The first place that they saw was the Smithsonian Museum because Sidney loved the stuff in there, and she thought that Milliardo would find it fascinating. They had lunch together at the old Hard Rock Café. As they walked along, they bought each other things.
It was an odd thing. Before, they looked like strangers. Now, for the first time, Milliardo and Sidney actually looked like siblings. They talked leisurely about their lives. Sidney asked about Lena and Nion. Milliardo was happy to report that they were fine. Milliardo asked about Sidney's schooling. He also asked about stories about being a doctor in the Physicians Fliers. Milliardo was impressed. He smirked at Sidney comment that she couldn't cook, and was constantly teased about it. Milliardo admitted that he couldn't cook much either, and commented that it might be genetics. They looked like tourists in downtown D.C. They saw the other sights of the D.C. They even went to the zoo. Milliardo bought Sidney a stuffed panda. Sidney bought a stuff kangaroo for Milliardo to give to Lena.
Milliardo and Sidney had ice cream cones. They carried their bags and talked while having the ice cream. Sidney give information about the sights that she was showing. Milliardo commented on being impressed at her knowledge about the city. Sidney shrugged her shoulders and said that it was important to know where one lived. Milliardo found something that Sidney didn't know about. It was where the old embassy of the Sanc Kingdom was.
"You mean that's where it used to be. Before, the Sanc Kingdom was destroyed?," said Sidney. The building had a beautifully architecture.
"Yes. It's been closed for years. I think it's now a library for European history. Maybe, someday, we'll have a new embassy," said Milliardo.
"What do you mean?" asked Sidney.
"I have been in talks with Minister Robinson about doing restoration to the Sanc Kingdom. Not to reestablish the monarchy, but to restore it to the people. Many people were displaced after what had happened," said Milliardo.
"I am surprised. I didn't know about that."
"You mean that Christopher Ryan didn't say anything to you about it? I should have known he wouldn't have."
"Chris does that. He likes to keep information. He probably thought that I wouldn't care."
"Yes. He would make a good soldier. Chris is an honorable man. Chris strikes me as the type whose always planning."
"Chris is. He likes to be ahead of the game. That's what makes him the best in his field. What do you think of Angie? I hope you're kind. She is also my best friend, after all."
"I don't blame her. Dr. Hart is doing every thing to protect you. But, I do say she really doesn't think before she speaks."
"It appears that way. Angie picks a side and fights for it. She doesn't care if it's the wrong side. Chris analyzes things, so he's more rational. For the most part."
"Qautre told me about the grades. Are you upset about it?"
"Not really. We forgave him for it. He knows that he'll pay for it for the rest of his life, through doing things for us. By being there. Besides, I lied too. No one is perfect."
"Why did you leave? You could have become anything you wanted to be at home. You didn't have to quit."
"I told you the short answer. I guess it's time for the long answer. Let's sit down somewhere. And we'll talk," said Sidney.
They found a park and sat on a park bench. It was pretty quiet where they were. They put the bags down. Sidney looked on ahead. Milliardo listened as she started.
"I wasn't happy. I felt like the job was just a job. There was nothing to it. I was bored, and I felt empty inside. My mother wrote me and said that she was dying. I couldn't believe it at first. I wanted to spend as much time with her as possible before she died. I also began to question things about my life."
"Like what?"
"Well, why was I doing a job that was making me unhappy? And….why I was always being left behind."
"What?"
"Everyone was always leaving, Milliardo. You did it. You left me with the Darlians. I asked you not to leave, but you did anyway," said Sidney in a soft voice.
"But, I had to. I thought that you would understand that, " said Milliardo. He suddenly remembered her saying something about him leaving like he always did.
"You left again to be the leader of the White Fang. You kept saying that it was for me. I find that a little hard to believe."
"I did it for you. I was making the world for you. I thought that I owed you that much."
"Do you know how much it hurt when I found out that Nion had left, and that you were still alive? You didn't even contact me. Codename Preventer Wind."
"You knew about that? Of course, you did. Relena, I mean, Sidney, I didn't think you would care. I didn't follow the code that our father had set out. I thought that I would disappoint you."
"We were just children when all that happened, Milliardo. We saw things we should have never seen. We should have grown up together. Life isn't fair. I know that much," whispered Sidney. She didn't want to tell them about their father. Not right then anyway.
"I was very sorry to hear about Mrs. Darlian. She was a wonderful mother. A great woman," said Milliardo with reverence. He had to honor the woman who raised his sister.
"Yes. She was. She taught me to be strong. She told me not to cry when she was dying. That's why when she died, I still called their home, theirs. I don't like the idea that both of them are gone. But, it's something that I have learned to accept. I missed my parents very much. I also miss our parents, even if I never really got to know them, " admitted Sidney in soft voice. Milliardo rubbed her shoulder, and she let him.
"I am so sorry. I didn't know you felt that way. I should have known better," said Milliardo.
"I should have said something. But, I didn't want to complain. Besides, I wanted to get back at you guys for leaving without a word. The way you did when we were little."
"I didn't turn my back then because I was a child myself. I had to grow up and be a man right then and there. I didn't want you to see me cry. I heard you, Sidney. It broke my heart. I knew that was hurting you. I thought that you would forget me. Maybe, if I never came back into your life, it would have been much better."
"No. Never say that, Milliardo. You should have been there in the first place. But, I forgive you for that. You left. You had to something about Papa and Mama's death. But, if you never came back, then I would feel like something was missing. I would rather feel hurt, then a void inside."
"I didn't know that your feeling were hurt because Nion left."
"I was hurt because I thought I was her friend. I also thought she should have told me. I forgive her, too. I still don't understand why she followed you like that. Maybe, it's because she loves you so much. However, I bend for no man. Not even for you, big brother," said Sidney with a smile on her face.
"I can see that," said Milliardo a wry smile played on his lips. Sidney playfully punched his arm. He pretended that she hurt him. They both laughed at this.
"Do you know what made me suddenly what to talk to all of you? It was because I couldn't stand what was happening to me. I was depressed. I couldn't think straight. I didn't like the fact that I was reverting back to the old Relena. So, I decided to take you guys head on."
"You outsmarted us. You should be proud of yourself. I bet you got a lot of satisfaction out of that. My pride got hurt because my baby sister is obviously smarter than me," said Milliardo with a real smile on his face. He had admired the woman she had become. But, that didn't mean he still couldn't call her that. He saw their father's wisdom in her. He thought about how much she looked like Queen Katrina Ophelia Peacecraft of the Sanc Kingdom. Sidney laughed at his comment. Her laughter was something that he had missed. He had missed his sister very much.
"There is so much to talk about, but I think we did pretty well for one afternoon. Didn't we, Milly?" said Sidney as she tugged at the sleeve of Milliardo's shirt. He suddenly remembered her doing that when she was learning how to walk. She used him as support. He was worried about her falling down. He would always catch her before she fell. He smiled at the memory.
"We should do this more often. I can't remember when I've had a less stressful day. Besides, I need an advisor. You wouldn't have to quit being a doctor. You shouldn't," Milliardo agreed with a smile, "Those people need to know that there is a great doctor in that ER."
"I'll think about it. Probably, not. But, we can still talk. Maybe, someday I'll tell you everything," said Sidney. Her brother gave her a hug. She hugged him back.
There was still a lot of healing to do. But, she was on the road to recovery. They talked some more. Sidney made a tentative date to go to Milliardo's house in Paris. Milliardo wanted her to meet Lena, and so did she. Milliardo said that Nion and Lena should come to D.C. before then, so that they could show them the sites. But, of course, it depended on Sidney's schedule at the ER. As far as Milliardo was concerned, he was willing to do anything to accommodate his sister to his schedule. They went back to the hotel on foot, and later had dinner together in Sidney's favorite outdoor café.
* * *
Life fell back into place. Milliardo ordered that the surveillance be lifted. Most of the Gundam pilots were happy to get back to their lives. Duo's deal went through. Quatre thought it was a good investment, and invested. He also wondered why Duo didn't come to him in the first place. Duo shrugged, and said that there were already a lot of people who asked Quatre for things, and that he didn't want to be one of them. Quatre made fun of him, saying that Duo tried to keep him away from a good investment. Trowa got home to the circus in time, to be yelled at by Catherine. Her husband was there, but she wanted her brother to be there also. Trowa was now the proud uncle of a baby boy. Wufei went back to the University of Tokyo and was able to catch up with all his work. Quatre went back to Cambridge and was able to do the same.
There was only one Gundam pilot who wasn't back at work like normal. And that was Heero. He still had to talk to Sidney. Throughout this whole thing, he had learned some things about himself. He wasn't sure about his feelings, so he needed to talk to her.
Sidney was coming back from the ER at around eleven at night about a week after things went back to normal. The ER was happy to have her back. So, she was happily walking to the parking lot. Today had been a good day. She had delivered a baby, saved a boy who almost died from pneumonia, and other good things. As she walked to the parking lot, she heard someone following her. It was late, and she had to be prepared to protect herself just in case. So, she turned.
It was Heero. He lifted his arms up a little bit to show who he was. Sidney stopped in her tracks.
"We need to talk," said Heero in a soft voice.
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing.
Author's Note: Chris and Angie came to see all of the Gundam pilots and Milliardo. Chris tried to stop Angie from saying anything more. After all, this is Sidney's fight. Another long chapter. I also too the liberty of repairing another mistake. I fixed what I had called Miliardo and Relena's mother in Nightmares. I found out that her name was Katrina, but to fix it from Nightmares, I put Ophelia as her middle name.
"Chris. Angie. Could you guys wait in the lobby for me?" asked Sidney.
"But, Sidney…" started Angie.
"It's alright. We'll be in the lobby. Isn't that right, Angie?" interrupted Chris. He took her arm. Angie tried to shake him off, but with no success.
"Sid, we should stay. We're here for you," said Angie.
"I know. But, this is something I have to do for myself. I'll be fine," reassured Sidney.
"Okay. We'll be in the lobby," said Chris as he dragged Angie out of the room.
"But…" she interrupted from the hall.
Chris looked back into the room. He closed the door. Sidney walked back to the door, and locked it. Sidney was dressed in black pants with Doc Martens. Her shirt was a navy blue and long sleeve. She wore her black pea coat over it. Sidney didn't have much time before she realized she had to come there. She didn't realized that she couldn't make Angie and Chris fight for her. It was her own fight. Sidney realized this too late, and since her car wasn't there, she had to take a cab. This didn't give her enough time to use the make up she usually used to hid the lack of sleep that she always experiencing. Sidney definitely didn't want them to see it, but what choice did she have?
"Hello, everyone. How have you been?" said Sidney, trying a to find a way to break the ice. This was the first time in five years, she had seen Duo, Trowa, Quatre, and Wufei face to face.
"Is that all you can say, Relena? We've been worried about you for days," said Milliardo angrily. She ignored his comment.
"Sidney, are you alright?" asked Quatre.
"Yes. I feel great, Quatre. I haven't felt this good in a while," Sidney said with a genuine smile on her face. Everyone was surprised that she answered him. Suddenly, it clicked. She wasn't responding to her old name, it was her new name.
"Sid, have you been getting enough sleep lately?" asked Duo with concern.
"No. I haven't. But, you should have already know that. Look I am here because I am tired of playing this game with all of you," said Sidney with a sigh.
"Chris and Angie were the only ones who agreed to see us because they were wanted to talk with us," said Milliardo.
"I should have told them to stay back. But, I wasn't thinking clearly. I was stuck somewhere else for a while. They can't fight my battles for me. I am through letting others fight for me. I also realized that not everything is my fault. Some of it is, but not all of it. And that there is nothing we can do about the past. We can't control it like the future. Even then, we don't know what the future will be," said Sidney thoughtful as she played with one of the earrings in her right ear.
None of the people in the room could say anything to that comment. Heero looked at her. He realized then that the person who was standing there was the real Relena Darlian Peacecraft, so to speak. This is the person that could have developed right in front of them given the chance.
"I forgot about my skills as a diplomat. I feel foolish about that. One should never forget old skills in favor of learning new ones. Therefore, I am willing to negotiate," said Sidney in a clear voice. She had walked up to her brother. Milliardo looked her in the eye. Their eyes were about eye level to each other.
"Angela Hart said that you were one of the best. I am very proud of you…Sidney. You excel at everything you do," compliment Milliardo.
"Not everything. I am a good doctor. In all the time I have ever practice, I have only lost one patient. Thus far, that is," Sidney said in a soft voice.
"Davenport? That was the first patient you couldn't save," said Milliardo. "No wonder, it wasn't a really good time to talk to you."
"I have learned that wasn't my fault. There was nothing I could do. I can't play God. I do my best and that's all I can hope for. I should stop feeling sorry for myself. It's pathetic and a waste of my time. Things could be worse. I could be dead. However, I also have learned not to keep things bottled up inside. It's unhealthy. I have also learned that I have to say what I want, and take it by force if necessary," said Sidney. She had a gleam in her eye. Her body was position not to attack, but to defend.
'What is it you want?" asked Milliardo. He always thought that he knew what she wanted. He made it a point to anticipate his sister's needs. He realized that he wasn't doing that if she was fighting him.
"I want my life back. I want what I have earned. You people lost the right the interfere in my life. You shouldn't have in the first place. This is my home now. This is where I belong. There are other people who really need me. Besides, life goes on. The world didn't collapse when I left, it progressed. No one is totally indispensable," said Sidney as she made a gesture while looking out of the window at the city below.
"Dr. Hart said that we were killing you slowly. What did she mean?" asked Trowa in a soft voice. It seemed as if everyone had forgotten that. Sidney looked at him. She turned her attention back to the window, and folded her arms over her chest.
"What's wrong with you, Woman? I know you are strong, but you are being weaken by something that you are hiding," said Wufei.
"First of all, I have a name. You can even call me Relena, but don't call me Woman. It's disrespectful," corrected Sidney. Everyone was surprised. Most women accepted it when Wufei called them "Women" or "Woman." They never corrected him, but they gave him funny looks. Wufei looked mildly surprise.
"Let's just say that the lack of sleep has something to do with it. And I'll be taking care of that soon enough," Sidney said in a final tone about the subject. There was no reason for them to know about the nightmares. They might know about the insomnia, but they didn't have to know about depression. It was something that she could take care of. With some help from Chris and Angie. But, they were a problem that she had to handle on her own without them.
"You said that you were willing to negotiate," said Heero in a quiet voice. Sidney looked at him. And nodded.
"First, let make me one point clear to all of you. I will not let you take any part of me. I'd like to know why you want me back at all. I have followed Wei Robinson's career since he was elected. He's done a better job than me. He obviously loves that job, while I grew to hate it . I'll use my diplomatic skills, but they are a little rusty. Since, we can't pretend none of this ever happened, I am willing to talk. I can't let you people haunt me for the rest of my life," said Sidney with a firm confident voice.
"We won't take away anything you have worked for. But, we would like to know why you left," said Milliardo there was a touch of pleading on his voice.
"Here is the short answer for now: I wasn't happy. That's it. Milliardo meet me tomorrow at the lobby at ten, here. Be prepared to spend the day with me. I'll talk to you first. I am really tired. I have to get some sleep. Please," said Sidney.
Milliardo looked at her. He was worried about her not sleeping very well. So, he nodded. Heero noticed that she was going to talk to him first. That she was willing to talk to him. 'Maybe, she'll talk to me, too,' thought Heero as he looked at her. She needed some sleep.
"Fine. I'll be at the lobby at ten. Thank you, Sidney," said Milliardo, "Where will you be from now till then?"
"At Chris's place," answered Sidney. There was nothing wrong with telling them.
"Wait. I just have to ask," Quatre said quietly.
"What?" asked Sidney looking at him.
"Why do you have so many earrings on one ear?" asked Quatre. Sidney smile and touched all the earring at once.
"When I was with the Physician Fliers, I was flying a helicopter. There was another pilot, Duncan, who had a bunch of earrings. Nine total, if I remember correctly. I asked him about them. He said that they represent each place he had been on rotation. I thought that was an interesting way of remembering. So, I decided to do that after each rotation, as way to celebrate. I did four rotations, as you probably already know. It was either that or get a tattoo. But, I didn't want to mutilate my body that way," Sidney finished with a good real laugh. The rest of the Gundam pilots looked at her. It has been a while since they were all in the same place with her laughing. Milliardo had a soft smile on his face. Heero smiled on the inside. Sidney kept on smiling.
"Each earring represents my freedom, Quatre. Together, they all represent who I am. I know that it sounds weird. Anyway, I have to go. See you tomorrow, Milliardo." Sidney left the room still smiling.
* * *
When Sidney got down to the lobby, Angie started to question her. But, Sidney didn't give much away. Chris had questions too, but kept them to himself. He noticed that she was a lot happier, then she had been in days. As if there was some great weight lifted off of her shoulders.
Sidney also said that she would meet with Milliardo tomorrow. Angie began to protest, but Chris stopped her. When they got back to Chris' place, they spent the day there. They talked and played pool. Then, Angie brought up the subject about the prescriptions. Both she and Chris, apologized about them. Sidney said it was alright. That she would have probably done the same, if she were in their positions. When Sidney found out that Quatre was the one who told Chris about them, Sidney just smiled. Sidney got worried about Angie for filling the prescriptions, but Angie reassured her that nothing was going to happen. Angie said that Sidney didn't have to take the pills for the depression because they weren't going to fix things. Sidney agreed with her. She agreed to take the sleeping pills.
At about ten, Angie gave Sidney some sleeping pills, so that she could get some sleep for tomorrow. Angie stayed with her until midnight in a chair, but Chris came and told Angie to sleep in his bed. He took over for the rest of the night.
* * *
Milliardo was at the lobby a half hour early. He knew that he was early, but he wanted to be there. He gave strict orders that no one is to follow them today. Milliardo looked forward to spending the day with his sister. Sidney showed up at ten minutes till the hour. She was wearing jeans, a white tee shirt, a jean jacket, and a pair sunglasses. Sidney also wore a pair of black sneakers. She took off her sunglasses, and revealed her sparkling blue eyes. Milliardo actually dressed casually. Which was strange for him.
"Hi. Did you wait long? I had to get my car back, and there was some traffic," said Sidney with a small smile on her face.
"No. Actually, I came down much earlier than I had to," revealed Milliardo.
"Oh. Well good, you are wearing walking shoes. We'll be spending the day on foot. We'll get to spend more time, and get some talking done that way," said Sidney noticing his attire, "I hope you don't mind."
"I don't mind. Were you able to get some sleep last night?" asked Milliardo.
"Yes. Thanks for asking. Have you ever seen this city?" asked Sidney.
"No. Not really," admitted Milliardo.
"Well, then I'll give you a tour. I've only been living here for a little while compared to most people, but I know the sights," said Sidney. Milliardo and Sidney walked out of the hotel together.
They spent the day together. The first place that they saw was the Smithsonian Museum because Sidney loved the stuff in there, and she thought that Milliardo would find it fascinating. They had lunch together at the old Hard Rock Café. As they walked along, they bought each other things.
It was an odd thing. Before, they looked like strangers. Now, for the first time, Milliardo and Sidney actually looked like siblings. They talked leisurely about their lives. Sidney asked about Lena and Nion. Milliardo was happy to report that they were fine. Milliardo asked about Sidney's schooling. He also asked about stories about being a doctor in the Physicians Fliers. Milliardo was impressed. He smirked at Sidney comment that she couldn't cook, and was constantly teased about it. Milliardo admitted that he couldn't cook much either, and commented that it might be genetics. They looked like tourists in downtown D.C. They saw the other sights of the D.C. They even went to the zoo. Milliardo bought Sidney a stuffed panda. Sidney bought a stuff kangaroo for Milliardo to give to Lena.
Milliardo and Sidney had ice cream cones. They carried their bags and talked while having the ice cream. Sidney give information about the sights that she was showing. Milliardo commented on being impressed at her knowledge about the city. Sidney shrugged her shoulders and said that it was important to know where one lived. Milliardo found something that Sidney didn't know about. It was where the old embassy of the Sanc Kingdom was.
"You mean that's where it used to be. Before, the Sanc Kingdom was destroyed?," said Sidney. The building had a beautifully architecture.
"Yes. It's been closed for years. I think it's now a library for European history. Maybe, someday, we'll have a new embassy," said Milliardo.
"What do you mean?" asked Sidney.
"I have been in talks with Minister Robinson about doing restoration to the Sanc Kingdom. Not to reestablish the monarchy, but to restore it to the people. Many people were displaced after what had happened," said Milliardo.
"I am surprised. I didn't know about that."
"You mean that Christopher Ryan didn't say anything to you about it? I should have known he wouldn't have."
"Chris does that. He likes to keep information. He probably thought that I wouldn't care."
"Yes. He would make a good soldier. Chris is an honorable man. Chris strikes me as the type whose always planning."
"Chris is. He likes to be ahead of the game. That's what makes him the best in his field. What do you think of Angie? I hope you're kind. She is also my best friend, after all."
"I don't blame her. Dr. Hart is doing every thing to protect you. But, I do say she really doesn't think before she speaks."
"It appears that way. Angie picks a side and fights for it. She doesn't care if it's the wrong side. Chris analyzes things, so he's more rational. For the most part."
"Qautre told me about the grades. Are you upset about it?"
"Not really. We forgave him for it. He knows that he'll pay for it for the rest of his life, through doing things for us. By being there. Besides, I lied too. No one is perfect."
"Why did you leave? You could have become anything you wanted to be at home. You didn't have to quit."
"I told you the short answer. I guess it's time for the long answer. Let's sit down somewhere. And we'll talk," said Sidney.
They found a park and sat on a park bench. It was pretty quiet where they were. They put the bags down. Sidney looked on ahead. Milliardo listened as she started.
"I wasn't happy. I felt like the job was just a job. There was nothing to it. I was bored, and I felt empty inside. My mother wrote me and said that she was dying. I couldn't believe it at first. I wanted to spend as much time with her as possible before she died. I also began to question things about my life."
"Like what?"
"Well, why was I doing a job that was making me unhappy? And….why I was always being left behind."
"What?"
"Everyone was always leaving, Milliardo. You did it. You left me with the Darlians. I asked you not to leave, but you did anyway," said Sidney in a soft voice.
"But, I had to. I thought that you would understand that, " said Milliardo. He suddenly remembered her saying something about him leaving like he always did.
"You left again to be the leader of the White Fang. You kept saying that it was for me. I find that a little hard to believe."
"I did it for you. I was making the world for you. I thought that I owed you that much."
"Do you know how much it hurt when I found out that Nion had left, and that you were still alive? You didn't even contact me. Codename Preventer Wind."
"You knew about that? Of course, you did. Relena, I mean, Sidney, I didn't think you would care. I didn't follow the code that our father had set out. I thought that I would disappoint you."
"We were just children when all that happened, Milliardo. We saw things we should have never seen. We should have grown up together. Life isn't fair. I know that much," whispered Sidney. She didn't want to tell them about their father. Not right then anyway.
"I was very sorry to hear about Mrs. Darlian. She was a wonderful mother. A great woman," said Milliardo with reverence. He had to honor the woman who raised his sister.
"Yes. She was. She taught me to be strong. She told me not to cry when she was dying. That's why when she died, I still called their home, theirs. I don't like the idea that both of them are gone. But, it's something that I have learned to accept. I missed my parents very much. I also miss our parents, even if I never really got to know them, " admitted Sidney in soft voice. Milliardo rubbed her shoulder, and she let him.
"I am so sorry. I didn't know you felt that way. I should have known better," said Milliardo.
"I should have said something. But, I didn't want to complain. Besides, I wanted to get back at you guys for leaving without a word. The way you did when we were little."
"I didn't turn my back then because I was a child myself. I had to grow up and be a man right then and there. I didn't want you to see me cry. I heard you, Sidney. It broke my heart. I knew that was hurting you. I thought that you would forget me. Maybe, if I never came back into your life, it would have been much better."
"No. Never say that, Milliardo. You should have been there in the first place. But, I forgive you for that. You left. You had to something about Papa and Mama's death. But, if you never came back, then I would feel like something was missing. I would rather feel hurt, then a void inside."
"I didn't know that your feeling were hurt because Nion left."
"I was hurt because I thought I was her friend. I also thought she should have told me. I forgive her, too. I still don't understand why she followed you like that. Maybe, it's because she loves you so much. However, I bend for no man. Not even for you, big brother," said Sidney with a smile on her face.
"I can see that," said Milliardo a wry smile played on his lips. Sidney playfully punched his arm. He pretended that she hurt him. They both laughed at this.
"Do you know what made me suddenly what to talk to all of you? It was because I couldn't stand what was happening to me. I was depressed. I couldn't think straight. I didn't like the fact that I was reverting back to the old Relena. So, I decided to take you guys head on."
"You outsmarted us. You should be proud of yourself. I bet you got a lot of satisfaction out of that. My pride got hurt because my baby sister is obviously smarter than me," said Milliardo with a real smile on his face. He had admired the woman she had become. But, that didn't mean he still couldn't call her that. He saw their father's wisdom in her. He thought about how much she looked like Queen Katrina Ophelia Peacecraft of the Sanc Kingdom. Sidney laughed at his comment. Her laughter was something that he had missed. He had missed his sister very much.
"There is so much to talk about, but I think we did pretty well for one afternoon. Didn't we, Milly?" said Sidney as she tugged at the sleeve of Milliardo's shirt. He suddenly remembered her doing that when she was learning how to walk. She used him as support. He was worried about her falling down. He would always catch her before she fell. He smiled at the memory.
"We should do this more often. I can't remember when I've had a less stressful day. Besides, I need an advisor. You wouldn't have to quit being a doctor. You shouldn't," Milliardo agreed with a smile, "Those people need to know that there is a great doctor in that ER."
"I'll think about it. Probably, not. But, we can still talk. Maybe, someday I'll tell you everything," said Sidney. Her brother gave her a hug. She hugged him back.
There was still a lot of healing to do. But, she was on the road to recovery. They talked some more. Sidney made a tentative date to go to Milliardo's house in Paris. Milliardo wanted her to meet Lena, and so did she. Milliardo said that Nion and Lena should come to D.C. before then, so that they could show them the sites. But, of course, it depended on Sidney's schedule at the ER. As far as Milliardo was concerned, he was willing to do anything to accommodate his sister to his schedule. They went back to the hotel on foot, and later had dinner together in Sidney's favorite outdoor café.
* * *
Life fell back into place. Milliardo ordered that the surveillance be lifted. Most of the Gundam pilots were happy to get back to their lives. Duo's deal went through. Quatre thought it was a good investment, and invested. He also wondered why Duo didn't come to him in the first place. Duo shrugged, and said that there were already a lot of people who asked Quatre for things, and that he didn't want to be one of them. Quatre made fun of him, saying that Duo tried to keep him away from a good investment. Trowa got home to the circus in time, to be yelled at by Catherine. Her husband was there, but she wanted her brother to be there also. Trowa was now the proud uncle of a baby boy. Wufei went back to the University of Tokyo and was able to catch up with all his work. Quatre went back to Cambridge and was able to do the same.
There was only one Gundam pilot who wasn't back at work like normal. And that was Heero. He still had to talk to Sidney. Throughout this whole thing, he had learned some things about himself. He wasn't sure about his feelings, so he needed to talk to her.
Sidney was coming back from the ER at around eleven at night about a week after things went back to normal. The ER was happy to have her back. So, she was happily walking to the parking lot. Today had been a good day. She had delivered a baby, saved a boy who almost died from pneumonia, and other good things. As she walked to the parking lot, she heard someone following her. It was late, and she had to be prepared to protect herself just in case. So, she turned.
It was Heero. He lifted his arms up a little bit to show who he was. Sidney stopped in her tracks.
"We need to talk," said Heero in a soft voice.