Francis Did What?! Part 2
"M-M-married? You want to get married?" stuttered Blaire.
"Yes, I do. I've never felt this way about anyone before. I want to spend the rest of my life with you," Francis smiled lovingly up at his girlfriend.
"Oh, of course I'll marry you!" Blaire threw her arms around Francis, and the happy couple kissed for what seemed like hours.
"I have an idea!" Francis shouted suddenly.
"What?"
"Lets drive to Las Vegas, and get married now!" Francis yanked Blaire to her feet, and pulled her to her car.
"Elope?! But-but-but, are you sure? Won't your parents be mad? Especially your mom?" asked Blaire.
"I don't care! They're thousands of miles away! And even my mother can't stand in the way of true love." To her own amazement, Blaire followed Francis into the car, and they began the long drive to Las Vegas.
* * * * * *
"Do you Francis take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?" inquired the minister at the Quick N' Easy Marriage wedding chapel/casino in Las Vegas.
"I do."
"And you do you Blaire take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?"
"I do."
"By the power vested in me by the state of Las Vegas, I now pronounce you man and wife. Here's $30 dollars in chips, have a lucky night. You may kiss the bride," the minister smiled as the young couple kissed, and handed them the chips as a wedding present.
"I love you Francis."
"I love you Blaire."
Francis and Blaire had never been so happy in their entire lives. Over a buffet dinner, they agreed that Francis would drop out of Marlin Academy, and move into Blaire's apartment.
After they had finished eating, Blaire forced Francis to find a pay phone, and call his family.
Unfortunately, Lois was the one to pick up the phone. "Hello?"
"Hi Mom! It's me," Francis was in mental agony.
"Oh hi, honey. How are you?"
"I'm good. In fact, I'm wonderful. But Mom, there's something I have to tell you. I got married."
"YOU DID WHAT?????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" shrieked Lois. She spent the next 45 minutes screaming at her eldest son about how he was throwing his life away, and would live to regret it.
When Lois was so hoarse from yelling she could barely speak, she slammed the telephone down. Francis hung up, and walked over to Blaire.
"So how'd it go?" she asked.
"Not as bad as I thought," grinned Francis. "This is going to be so great."
* * * * * *
2 months later, Francis wasn't very happy. He thought that married life would be great. It wasn't.
Blaire nagged Francis non-stop. She nagged about everything from what he ate to the way he dressed. Whatever he did, she could find fault in it. Now that they were married, Blaire didn't let Francis go off to keggers, clubs, or bars every weekend. She expected him to stay home with her. Francis missed his old roommate Stanley horribly.
Nowadays, Francis had to work. Blaire had an internship at a newspaper, but they couldn't live on that small salary alone. Francis was forced to work full time at McDonalds.
Francis hated working at McDonalds. It was the most degrading thing he had ever had to do. He longed for Marlin Academy, and all his old friends. He even missed Spangler screaming at him. Blaire got on his nerves. Francis wanted the marriage to be annulled, or maybe even a divorce.
One night, Blaire came home in an exceptionally good mood. She grinned at Francis while she fixed him a candle lit dinner. Over dinner, Blaire dropped a bombshell.
"I have wonderful news," smiled Blaire.
"Oh yeah? What?" Francis said.
"Honey, we're going to have baby!"
"A-a-a-a baby? We're gonna have a baby?" sputtered Francis. The fork that was half way to his mouth clattered onto the floor.
Francis felt sick. He was so dizzy he couldn't think straight. He looked up at his wife's anxious face, and promptly passed out.
When Francis regained consciousness, Blaire was standing worriedly by his side. All of a sudden, Francis remembered that Blaire was pregnant.
"We can't have a baby! I don't want a baby! I don't want a baby!" Francis screamed.
* * * * * *
"Dude, wake up. You've been screaming 'I don't want a baby' for the past 10 minutes!" Stanley yanked the bedding off of Francis's bed, waking him up.
Francis sat up, drenched in sweat. "What am I doing here? Where's Blaire?"
"Who's Blaire? You don't know anybody named Blaire," Stanley looked at Francis like he was crazy.
"You mean it was all a dream? I'm not married? There is a God!" Francis, ecstatic, jumped out of bed. He had never been so happy in all his life.