Always, 3
INTRODUCTION: Part 3. Nothing more to say about this part, I guess... Just that as I said in the previous fic, I'm not exactly a MD, so if some of the medical stuff makes no sense then please have indulgence with me and the incorrect facts...
DISCLAIMER: I don't own the "Friends" characters this time either.
Monica opened her eyes, her eyelids feeling heavy. Her head felt just as heavy.
'What a way to spend tonight' she thought. 'Happy new year, Monica.'
To top it all off she was alone. No one was in her room. It rarely happened, but when it did she usually welcomed the moments of alone time. She needed them to clear her mind and to get to just think about herself and nothing else. But right now she felt lonely. She glanced at the chair next to the bed.
'Why aren't you in it?' she asked him in her thoughts. 'I knew you said Regina had come down with a cold, so you had to be at home with her, but…'
She shook her head and tried not to cry. The head shake had made her head ache incredibly and she didn't want to waste her strength on tears.
"Damn it!" she exclaimed, hitting the blanket with her fist in frustration. "Damn it why can't you be here?"
She knew perfectly well why he couldn't be there. He'd gotten stuck with either leaving Regina with the others over New Years or to leave Monica alone. And she knew how strong his principals were about responsibility over your children. This was the first time in her life that Regina was sick, and to top it all off it was New Years Eve. He couldn't bring her because of the risk that Monica would catch her cold. Her immunise system was down and both Chandler and Monica knew that most cancer patients died from other diseases that they got while being sick, that their body couldn't fight because of their disease and treatment.
Monica glanced on the clock on the wall. It was around nine. She wished with all of her heart that she'd stayed at home with them. But she knew that going back here probably saved her life since she probably would have caught Regina's cold otherwise. Luckily enough Chandler hadn't caught it so he could pass it on to her.
Monica closed her eyes and fell asleep again.
*
"Not that I don't think you're pretty when you sleep…" Chandler's voice said, waking her up "But you might wanna open those eyes unless you plan on missing the ball dropping."
Monica opened her eyes in surprise and saw Chandler right next to her, filling a glass of champagne while he was talking. He continued to talk without looking up at her, concentrating on what he was doing with his hands.
"After all, if you slept through midnight there would be little point of me being here to celebrate it with you, wouldn't it? I know you can't have champagne, by the way, but a glass of pommac might perhaps interest you?"
Monica smiled widely.
"I can't believe you're here!" she said, her voice filled with love and joy.
Finally Chandler looked up at her.
"Where else would I be? In Europe they've already celebrated and there's no time to fly to Los Angeles to celebrate it there. Don't ask me why I would want to do THAT, but you get what I mean." He handed her the glass without the champagne in it.
"Yes, but Regina…" Monica said, accepting the glass, astounded.
"What about Regina?"
"She's sick!"
"So are you, if I remember it correctly."
"Yes, but…" Monica didn't really know what to say. "But she needs you!"
"I was actually hoping you needed me too."
"Of course I do!" Monica said, smiling at him. "But this makes no sense to me, I thought you said you were staying at home for Regina's sake."
"What, you think I just left her in her play pin and went over here?"
"Chandler she HAS no play pin."
"She got one from your parents this Christmas, remember?"
Monica made a frustrated noise and nearly jammed her fist on the quilt again. In the last second she remembered the glass in her hand.
'What is WRONG with me?' she thought.
"Your memory a bit blurry?" Chandler asked. "Well don't worry, your body's got better things to think about than weather or not our daughter has a play pin. Anyway…"
Monica listened only with one ear to his story about what him and the gang had done earlier that evening. She was busy thinking of how he managed to keep her mind off her worries. He seemed to have finally found a use for his ability to talk fast and a lot.
"Mon, you listening?" he asked. Without waiting for an answer he took her hand and went on talking. "Regina seemed to be doing better, which is good, poor little thing is sca--" He interrupted himself.
"She's what?" Monica asked.
Chandler gave her a crooked, quite awkward smile. How could he be so stupid? He'd almost told her that their daughter was scared to death since she'd never been sick before so she assumed she'd be as sick as her mommy or even die. It wasn't something Monica needed to hear.
"She's started to cough" he said instead. "I assume she's more like me than you, I always cough at the end of my colds, while you cough… well… quite often when you've got colds."
Chandler knew he was babbling along.
'Be careful!' he thought. 'Make sure you don't let any frogs leap out this time.'
"So anyway," he continued, "I put her to sleep early, around half past eight, and she really looks like she's gonna sleep until seven or eight tomorrow morning. And I figured I couldn't do more for her at the moment, so I told the others to guard her with their lives, sort of, and then I came over here. The perfect solution. I get to spend New Years with both my girls."
He kissed her on the cheek and hoped he was done talking. He felt he might say something else stupid if he continued.
"Oh god, thank you so much…" Monica said, burying her face in his neck and putting her arms around him.
Chandler carefully took her glass from her and sat it down on her nightstand, carefully making sure he knew which glass was which, and then hugged her back.
"Wow babe… you make it seem as if I've granted you an audience with the pope or something."
"I'm not a catholic" Monica responded, and giggled slightly together with Chandler. "Oh I was so sad when I woke up earlier tonight and found that no one was here… I just wanted to see your face or hear your voice… I was planning on calling you, but then I somehow fell asleep again and then I wake up and here you are."
"Telepathy" Chandler suggested, only half kidding.
"Thank you, I love you…" Monica said and kissed him on the cheek.
"Here, take your glass" Chandler said and reached for one of the glasses, handing it to her. He took the other one and clinked it against hers. "Cheers and happy new year, my love."
"Already?" Monica said with a raised eyebrow.
"Yeah. My watch is two minutes past, actually. I got here pretty much with only a few minutes to spare."
"Okay, then cheers!" Monica said, taking a sip from her glass.
"Here's to a year much better than the one we're leaving behind" Chandler said, raising his glass as to make a toast at a dinner party. "Here's to a year with good health and fast recoveries. A year that we will end as we started it, together. And a year where a certain baby girl says 'daddy'."
Monica laughed at the last part.
"She is taking her time with the talking, isn't she?" she said with a smile.
"Maybe we should let a… a… well, one of those doctors who work with voice and speech take a look at her."
"My my, someone's been doing their homework" Monica said with a smile, and copied him. "'A… a… one of those doctors who work with voice and speech'! My gosh Chandler, if the chaplain's aid heard you she'd cry."
Chandler rolled his eyes and took a sip from his glass.
"Okay, so is it my turn?" Monica asked. "To say something for a toast, I mean."
"Go ahead."
"Okay, then I'd like to quote that line from Tennyson, like you insist on doing every New Years anyway…" Monica harked and tried to remember the last line of the poem that Chandler always recited at New Years. "Ring out the year of a thousand wars… And ring in the kingdom of a thousand peaces."
"Not too shabby" Chandler said with a nod. "But you forgot the 'ring, bell, ring' part. That part is the best."
"What do you want from me, I only know the last two lines!"
Chandler laughed and kissed her. She kissed him back and felt her head spin. Unfortunately not because of the kiss. Chandler ended the kiss and pulled back, eyeing her and grabbing her glass. He put it down. When he looked up at her she had fallen asleep again.
"That tired, huh?" he said and kissed her on the cheek. "Well I'll stay for a few more hours, babe. Love you, Monica."
*
Phoebe tried her best to soothe Regina. She was walking with the girl in the living room, and Regina was crying. Phoebe desperately glanced at the others, not knowing what to do.
"Someone call Chandler soon, or else one of the neighbours are gonna think we're maltreating her or something!" she said. "Ross you have a son, why can't YOU try?"
Ross rose from the couch and then sat again. He knew it wouldn't be any use.
"Phoebs, would you get her to STOP?" Rachel said, sounding fed-up. "My ears are bleeding here!"
"I don't think she can help it, she's little and she's sick and she's not with her parents" Joey said. "Trust me, my sister's son did the exact same thing once. Although my sister was just in the next room, so that was taken care of pretty fast."
Rachel rolled her eyes, annoyed with Joey for his stupid story and annoyed with Regina for crying and annoyed with Phoebe for not making her stop. Ross was annoying her just because he was sitting there and not doing anything.
"Why did she even wake up again in the first place?" she finally said. "Chandler said she would sleep until morning!"
"Bad dream, perhaps" Phoebe suggested. "She might still have a fever. And not all people sleep too well when they're sick."
"But make her stop crying! I'm ready to join her!" Rachel said.
"Me too, from pure sympathy" Phoebe said, lightly starting to bounce Regina up and down like you do with a smaller baby. "Poor lamb, she's going through a lot." Phoebe took a deep, shivering breath and wished the girl would stop crying. She felt like such a failure, and it felt like Regina didn't feel safe with her.
Chandler entered, and Phoebe hurriedly turned at him.
"Chandler thank God you're here!" she said.
"Oh my gosh, she's awake?" Chandler said, sounding a bit worried. "Phoebe why haven't you gotten her to stop crying?"
"I think YOU need to do that" Joey said, giving his amateur opinion in child psychology.
Chandler walked over to Phoebe and reached for the baby.
"Here we go, there we go…" he quietly said when Phoebe handed him his daughter. He held her close and slowly started walking back and forth in front of the TV, just like Phoebe had done. Phoebe sat down.
"There we go sweetie…" Chandler quietly and softly said. "Don't cry… daddy's here, don't cry…"
Regina's sobs calmed somewhat, and she was mostly just crying in a stubborn baby way like children do when they've cried a lot and are starting to calm down.
"Ever heard of a pacifier?" Chandler asked his friends, and picked it up from the coffee table. "Here you go, sweetheart" he said and stuck it in Regina's mouth. "There…" He kissed her on the forehead. "You don't have to cry anymore… I'm here, I'm not going anywhere… You feel sick, don't you? Is your throat aching? Your head?" He kissed her on the top of her head and pressed her closer. He looked over at the rest. "She been awake long?" he asked.
"Yeah, sort of…" Ross said.
"She woke up about half an hour ago" Phoebe filled in. "And she's cried the whole time."
"Why didn't you call me?" Chandler asked. "Why didn't you hand her the pacifier or give her something warm to drink for her throat, or just do ANYTHING?"
"Well it's not like we didn't TRY!" Rachel defended herself. "Come on, of course it's easy for YOU to get her to stop crying!"
"I think she was just very daddy-sick" Joey said. "She woke up for the first time in her life without you or Monica being around, and to top it all off she wasn't feeling well."
Chandler kept his eyes on the child, trying to repress the guilt he felt.
*
The others soon took off and Chandler found that Joey had most likely been right in his amateuristic diagnosis. As soon as he went out of sight for Regina she would start to cry again. He sat her down on a blanket in the nursery when she finally went asleep, and left the room to go get a drink of water before putting her to bed and getting ready for bed himself. But after just about twenty seconds he heard toddle footsteps running into the living room and turned around to see his crying daughter coming running to him. He put his glass down on the sink and kneeled down, hugging her when she reached him.
"Oh Gina, don't cry…" he said, feeling more helpless than ever. "Sweetie don't cry… Daddy's not going anywhere, you KNOW that!"
He lifted her up and took her with him into the bathroom while he got ready for bed. Then he carried her on his hip, holding her firmly with his left arm, as he walked around the apartment turning off all the lights. Then he let her sleep in his bed, on her mother's pillow.
He put her down on Monica's beside and tucked her in. He turned the light off in the ceiling, leaving only his nightstand light on. He got into bed and noticed that she still had cheeks wet from old and new tears. He kept in a sigh and turned his light off, before he grabbed her and lifted her over to him.
"It'll be okay…" he whispered to her, stroking her head in the darkness. "I'm sorry I left you earlier tonight… I saw mommy. She sends all of her love. She can't wait to see you again."
He quieted, but didn't stop stroking her head. She was laying partly on top of him, partly next to him, pretty much like Monica loved to do. Chandler noticed that he'd forgotten to bring her bunny but Regina seemed content with having him as a substitute for one night, so he decided to let it be. He didn't want to disturb her when she finally seemed to be going to sleep.
After a few minutes he could hear her steady breath and he knew she was sleeping. He was still stroking her head, feeling a bit comforted by it. It was comforting to have contact with another human being, especially one that wouldn't judge him.
He closed his eyes and let the guilt wash over him. He had left Regina, he had taken off to the hospital and left her with the others. Not that he didn't trust him, but he knew she'd never ever woken up without one of her parents being there and he knew how scared she could be sometimes that Chandler would go somewhere too. He also knew that she was sick for the first time in her life and that she needed his comfort and care. And yet he had taken off and left her with the others.
'How could I be so stupid?' he thought. 'Monica knew it was stupid, she knew it all right… She was happy to have me there, but she didn't think it was a good idea that I left Regina all alone. Well, not ALL alone, but the guys can't replace a parent. And I KNOW how parent-sick she gets.'
He sighed and stopped stroking Regina's head.
'I'm the one who always says that you have to put your child's needs above your own. Well did I do that tonight? Hell no… And look what that lead to.'
He felt really bad for leaving his daughter, even just for three hours, when she had a cold and felt scared. In one way it would have felt better if Regina had been acting like she was mad at him, but she hadn't acted like that at all. She had shown in every way that she wanted her daddy to be there, she wouldn't let him out of sight once he got back, and that made Chandler feel even worse.
'I guess that's the problem with children' he thought. 'They're too damn honest about everything. Regina never even reflected about the fact that I wasn't there when I should have been, she only reflected about the fact that I was gone when she woke up but then I came back home.'
He sighed in the darkness and wished for the billionth time that Monica was at home with him. Handling all of the duties of a parent was hard to do on your own, especially with a child like his, who had become so eager to always have a parent with her. He closed his eyes hard and tried not to think of what it would be like if Monica died.
*
Monica was barely aware that she was awake. It was now the last week of January, and she was more sick now that she'd ever been before. She sometimes fell asleep in the middle of sentences, she often needed to throw up and she couldn't get out of the bed on her own. And she had lost all interest of being taken out to the dayroom in a wheelchair.
She felt a warm hand on her forehead, and soft lips on hers. She opened her eyes slightly and hoped she was smiling. She couldn't really tell.
"How's my hero?" she managed to say, her voice quite husky.
"He's in love" Chandler replied, kissing her on the forehead. "And he's eager to tell his heroine to try not to talk."
"I'm getting worse, aren't I?" Monica said, her voice even more husky now.
"Well…" Chandler said. He then sighed and looked down on the bed. "Monica I can't lie to you. You deserve to know what's going on."
"I'm dying" Monica croaked, not knowing weather to accept it or fight it. Neither option seemed appealing.
"No, I'm afraid you're gonna have to wait a while before we can say that for sure" Chandler said. "And I'd rather prefer not having to hear it for another forty or fifty years." He sighed and looked at her. "But you've… come down with a cold. We don't know how exactly. Gina's not at day-care anymore, so she can't have caught anything there and passed it on to you… And I haven't exactly been out much, and I none of the others are sick…"
"Maybe a nurse passed it on to me…" Monica suggested, struggling to keep her eyes open. "There are so many people I could have gotten this from…"
Chandler kept in a few swearwords. He couldn't understand how they could let people possibly carrying germs wander around in the hospital among cancer patients?
"Monica please don't talk unless you feel you really have to…" he said and stroke her cheek. "Save your energy. The doctors don't think it's very serious."
That was a lie, but she didn't seem to notice. Chandler hoped she wouldn't find out that the 15-year-old boy in the room next to Monica's had died earlier that day. He too had had leukaemia, and he too had gotten a cold. What Monica needed to hear was that she could make it if she fought it.
He met her eyes, that were more closed than open by now, and he saw a look in her eyes that made him feel warm inside. She looked at him as if she wished she could only tell him how much he meant to her.
"Baby, I love you so much, you'll never know…" he said, and leaned in to hug her close. He let his face rest next to hers on the pillow and he gently took her hand and started to stroke the back of it with his thumb. "Isn't it wonderful that we can love each other so?" he whispered in her ear. "I know you love me just as much as I love you… if that's possible, that is" he said. He was trying to tell her that he knew what she was too tired to say.
Monica felt a few tears run down her cheeks and she put her left arm around him and hugged him closer. She fell asleep again after just a few seconds.
*
On February 1st Monica woke up early, needing to throw up. She was alone in the room.
'They're shifting guards, I guess' she sarcastically thought, and wondered who'd just left and who was on his or her way.
She threw up and leaned back, trying not to swallow. She heard steps in the hall and knew that whoever was taking over the guard post would be there in about five seconds.
Chandler entered, looking angry. Monica frowned. When was the last time she'd seen him angry? She wanted to ask him what was the matter, but she had almost lost her voice because of the cold so she couldn't.
"The doctor tells me you're not eating!" Chandler said, angry and with his hands on his hips. "Why aren't you eating?"
"Not hungry" she said, making the sentence as short as possible.
"I don't give a rat's ass weather or not you're hungry!" Chandler growled.
Monica's eyes widened. She wasn't prepared to meet an angry husband. Especially not one who was angry over something like this.
"You are going to eat weather or not you're hungry, because weather or not you are your body needs the food."
"Can't they feed me intravenously?" Monica managed to get out.
"That's for patients who can't eat by themselves, or who've just been through surgery. You are still capable of eating on your own, you and I both know it!"
Monica turned her head to get away from his angry eyes. Chandler walked closer.
"You listen to me Monica, you are going to eat and you are going to do it NOW!"
Monica shook her head.
"Yes you are!" Chandler hissed.
"My throat is soar…" Monica said, almost starting to cry. Her whole body felt soar, but the throat was almost worst. And she hated the fact that her voice was almost gone completely. And it was so husky now, it had never been like this before.
Chandler left and returned two minutes later along with a nurse who had a tray with soup, bread and some Jell-O. Chandler sat down next to Monica on the bed, still angry and very determined. Monica was still looking in the other direction, trying to keep her tears away. The nurse left and Chandler grabbed her chin.
"Now you're going to eat" he said, turning her head in his direction. Monica was too weak to get out of his firm grip. "Open your mouth and do it NOW!"
"Chandler STOP IT!" she managed to get out, hating him in that moment. "Stop it, stop it, leave me alone!"
"No, I won't leave you alone. I refuse to stand by and watch you starve yourself to death! Trust me, that is not a better option! Now open your mouth Monica!"
"I'll just be sick again!" Monica said, hoping she wouldn't loose her voice completely.
"From what I understand you just were sick. You throw up weather or not you eat, and with food in your stomach the odds are that you'll NOT throw up! You'll feel better, come on Mon!"
She shook her head. Chandler lost patience completely.
"I am through playing nice with you here, don't think that being sick is an excuse for starving yourself! Now open your damn mouth!"
Surprised by his last words she opened her mouth and swallowed the first spoon of soup he gave her. She felt like she was going to throw up at any second. He continued to feed her, angrily.
"Chandler please, I'm two seconds away from needing to throw up…" she managed to say.
"How good, that means about two more spoons before you do. Open up!" Chandler replied.
Chandler managed to get her to eat all of the soup, bread and then decided to make her eat the Jell-O as well. Monica reluctantly ate and fought with her urge to throw up. Tears were falling down her cheeks and she hated him in that moment.
Chandler fed her the last spoon and then put the tray down on the floor. He then pulled her into a hug, no longer mad, and she let him comfort her.
"Monica, Monica, you know just as well as I do… You CAN'T stop eating! What are you supposed to live on?"
"Don't talk with me" Monica croaked. "Just shut up."
Chandler rocked her back and forth, wishing he could ease her pain. And heard and felt how she took deep breaths to keep the food down. He slowly formed the hand sign for 'I love you' and stroke her back with that hand, hoping she could feel what he was saying.
*
Phoebe cast a glance on the clock on the wall and sighed. She then glanced at Monica, who was asleep.
"What a lousy way to spend a February night" she mumbled, not sure if she was referring to herself or to Monica. Neither option was very appealing.
She heard a small noise and looked up. Monica was moving her head in her sleep and mumbling something. Phoebe raised an eyebrow, but let it fall again. Rachel had heard her talk in her sleep in December, so it wasn't really something out of the ordinary.
Phoebe glanced down on her feet, just to have something to look at. She didn't feel like she needed to be there right now. The five friends had made a rolling schedule, making sure someone was always with Monica. They all took time off from work every now and then to make it fit, especially the person who had night watch. Chandler was hard to fit in the schedule since he had the baby at home to worry about. He always came by at least twice a day, but on the other hand he couldn't stay over the night since Regina needed him at home. Their usual routine was eight hours at a time, which was quite a lot. But no one ever said anything about it.
Rachel had after a while suggested that they would exclude Chandler from the schedule, so he could come and go as he wished. And when he came he often stayed until the next person came to take over the watch, which meant that the person who was there when he arrived could go home. Chandler brought Regina with him around every third day usually, but since Monica had come down with her cold he let Regina stay at home. He felt it was better that way.
"Five more hours to go…" Phoebe said to herself. "And Monica's been asleep for as long as I've been here. So much for spending the night pleasantly."
Phoebe didn't mind at all to be there when Monica was awake. Even though Monica didn't say or do much these days, they could always watch movies together or listen to music together. And Phoebe liked seeing that her company was good for Monica, it cheered her up to have her friends there and it always seemed as if she thought it was a pleasant surprise to see which one of them was there each time she woke up.
Rachel, on the other hand, preferred to be there while Monica was asleep. She had soon realized after Christmas that being there with an awake Monica meant having to take care of the bedpan she vomited in, and Rachel hated having to do that. She mostly wanted to take the '00.00 - 08.00' shift, because that's when it was most likely that Monica would be asleep. Tonight though she wouldn't have to be there, Joey was coming over at midnight to let Phoebe go home and sleep.
"Hope you get better, friend…" Phoebe said, glancing at Monica. "This is really taking it out of us all. Pretty strange if you think about it… We're really like a family, making up schedules for who's being here with you when…"
Monica's parents didn't come by often. It was too long of a drive for them to just come over for a few hours, so they usually came over every ten days and stayed for about five days each time. Those days the gang got one shift off each day. Jack and Judy spent the night asleep in Chandler and Monica's apartment and part of the day baby-sitting their granddaughter while Chandler caught up with work, ran errands or sat by his wife's side.
Phoebe knew it was another seven days before Mr. and Mrs. Geller would come by again. That meant another week of baby-sitting, sitting with Monica, working and trying to keep up with life. Most of their life was circling around Monica now.
Monica tossed and turned in her sleep for a few seconds, mumbling something. Phoebe rose and went over to her, taking a closer look. She put her hand against Monica's forehead and found it burning hot. She sat down on the chair next to the bed and took a cold wet cloth from a small pack on the nightstand and placed it on Monica's forehead.
"You've got a fever again, my friend" she said. "This cold seems awful stubborn, don't you think?"
She felt thankful to have something to do for a while. She chatted along with her sleeping friend about everything and nothing while she tried to see if she could get the fever to go down. Her chat seemed to have a calming effect on Monica, who soon slept more calmly again.
Phoebe picked up the cold cloth and threw it in the trash. She leaned back in the quite uncomfortable chair and fell asleep as well, even though it was only around eight at night.
*
She woke up close to midnight, awaken by a cry from Monica. Phoebe sat up straight and then leaned closer.
Monica was twisting in her sleep again and mumbling things now as well. Phoebe couldn't make out a single word of what she was saying, but she felt a bit scared. She could feel her pulse and her heart beating slightly faster. She quickly grabbed another cold wet cloth and placed it on Monica's forehead. After a few seconds Monica calmed down and went back to her peaceful sleep.
"Knock knock!" Joey said, sticking his head in. "You awake?"
"Uh-hu." Phoebe said with a nod as Joey entered. "She isn't though. I don't think she has been for as long as I've been here. I fell asleep myself, so I can't say for sure. But Ross said she fell asleep around eleven."
"She needs all the sleep she can get" Joey pointed out, and placed a kiss on Monica's cheek. "Isn't that right, Sleeping Beauty?"
"She's been twisting and turning in her sleep" Phoebe told him. "And she's mumbling stuff, I can't tell what."
"Probably 'oh, Chandler'!" Joey said jokingly.
"Yeah, well keep an eye on her. Her fever is up again."
Phoebe rose and headed for the door. She stopped in the doorway and turned to look at Joey. He was sitting down on Monica's other side, looking through one of the magazines that lay on that nightstand. He was whistling to himself, seeming quite awake.
Out in the corridor she ran into a doctor exiting the room opposite Monica's.
"Excuse me doctor, but can I ask you something?" Phoebe asked. "My friend is in there," she said and pointed at the door she'd just exited, "and she's quite sick, she's got leukaemia and a cold, and she's mumbling and tossing and turning in her sleep. And I think she's got a high fever. Is this normal or is this bad?"
"I'll have a look on her" the doctor said and went past Phoebe into Monica's room.
"Something wrong?" Joey asked, looking up as the doctor entered.
"Just checking on your friend, that's all…" the doctor replied.
Monica made a crying noise in her sleep and threw her head to the right.
*
Fifteen minutes later Chandler, Ross and Rachel had gotten to the hospital. Chandler was holding Regina who was still in her pyjamas. They were standing outside Monica's room with Phoebe. Joey was still with Monica.
"This doesn't have to be that serious" the young doctor Phoebe had talked to earlier said. "But… well…"
"Butt well what?" Chandler asked, feeling almost too tired to be scared. Regina was nodding off with her head resting on his shoulder.
"But she's fallen into a deep sleep. Not a coma, but something close to that. We can't really reach her."
Phoebe felt that she was shivering. She couldn't help it, it was as if she'd gotten outside in really cold weather. Ross put an arm around her, realizing she was probably in a lighter state of shock.
"Are you saying my wife MIGHT fall into a coma?" Chandler asked, not wanting to think about what that could mean.
"What I'm saying is basically…" The doctor shook his head to clear his thoughts. "I can't tell you for sure… But I would have to say that she's probably… going through the hardest part of her sickness."
"There's not to ask of why, there's but to do and die…" Chandler mumbled. Then he looked at the doctor. "If I understand you correctly this is sort of a turning point… It's life or death. She makes it or she doesn't make it. And now is when it's determined."
"Something to that affect" the doctor said with a nod. "But to make it simpler: it can only get better from this point. If she doesn't die."
"My God…" Chandler said, and went past the doctor into his wife's hospital room. Joey looked up at him, with a scared look in his eyes. He looked worn and haggard.
"Chandler what did the doctor say?" he asked. "He wouldn't tell me anything until you got here, what's going on here?"
"Take the baby" Chandler said and handed Joey Regina. Then he went around to the other side of the bed and sat down, taking Monica's hand. He locked his eyes on her and didn't take them off her. "It's now or never" he said to Joey. "Or something like that. The doctor says she can only go in two directions at this point. To being well or to being dead."
"Oh god…" Joey said.
Chandler looked pretty worn and haggard as well. His eyes were looking almost panicked and he wouldn't take them off Monica.
Joey rose with Regina in his arms.
"I'm… gonna leave you two alone" he said. He looked down on Monica and all of a sudden got hit by the realisation that this might be the last time he saw her alive. He didn't even bother to hold back his tears and leaned down to kiss Monica on the cheek one last time.
"Pull through Monica!" he said, almost sobbing. "You can do it. You've got everything to return to."
He left, leaving Chandler and Monica alone. Chandler immediately began trying to get contact with Monica.
"Monica listen to me now!" he said. "You've, you've just got some fever, I'll help you get better, if you can hear me then focus on my voice!"
He heard her call his name twice, low and husky. She was breathing unevenly and her breath was wheezy. She was twisting and turning anxiously. Chandler watched her with fear like a cold hand around his heart. He saw his wife, his adored wife, make a pained face and then cry out 'No!'.
Then she was quiet. And still. Chandler exhaled in relief. She was peaceful again. Then he heard a high beeping sound and turned his head to the machines monitoring her vital functions. The one showing her heartbeats was the beeping one. Her EKG showed no heartbeats.
Review please. I'm gonna post part4 tomorrow or so, but it takes some time to get 'em into txt format... Anyway, let me know what you think!
INTRODUCTION: Part 3. Nothing more to say about this part, I guess... Just that as I said in the previous fic, I'm not exactly a MD, so if some of the medical stuff makes no sense then please have indulgence with me and the incorrect facts...
DISCLAIMER: I don't own the "Friends" characters this time either.
Monica opened her eyes, her eyelids feeling heavy. Her head felt just as heavy.
'What a way to spend tonight' she thought. 'Happy new year, Monica.'
To top it all off she was alone. No one was in her room. It rarely happened, but when it did she usually welcomed the moments of alone time. She needed them to clear her mind and to get to just think about herself and nothing else. But right now she felt lonely. She glanced at the chair next to the bed.
'Why aren't you in it?' she asked him in her thoughts. 'I knew you said Regina had come down with a cold, so you had to be at home with her, but…'
She shook her head and tried not to cry. The head shake had made her head ache incredibly and she didn't want to waste her strength on tears.
"Damn it!" she exclaimed, hitting the blanket with her fist in frustration. "Damn it why can't you be here?"
She knew perfectly well why he couldn't be there. He'd gotten stuck with either leaving Regina with the others over New Years or to leave Monica alone. And she knew how strong his principals were about responsibility over your children. This was the first time in her life that Regina was sick, and to top it all off it was New Years Eve. He couldn't bring her because of the risk that Monica would catch her cold. Her immunise system was down and both Chandler and Monica knew that most cancer patients died from other diseases that they got while being sick, that their body couldn't fight because of their disease and treatment.
Monica glanced on the clock on the wall. It was around nine. She wished with all of her heart that she'd stayed at home with them. But she knew that going back here probably saved her life since she probably would have caught Regina's cold otherwise. Luckily enough Chandler hadn't caught it so he could pass it on to her.
Monica closed her eyes and fell asleep again.
*
"Not that I don't think you're pretty when you sleep…" Chandler's voice said, waking her up "But you might wanna open those eyes unless you plan on missing the ball dropping."
Monica opened her eyes in surprise and saw Chandler right next to her, filling a glass of champagne while he was talking. He continued to talk without looking up at her, concentrating on what he was doing with his hands.
"After all, if you slept through midnight there would be little point of me being here to celebrate it with you, wouldn't it? I know you can't have champagne, by the way, but a glass of pommac might perhaps interest you?"
Monica smiled widely.
"I can't believe you're here!" she said, her voice filled with love and joy.
Finally Chandler looked up at her.
"Where else would I be? In Europe they've already celebrated and there's no time to fly to Los Angeles to celebrate it there. Don't ask me why I would want to do THAT, but you get what I mean." He handed her the glass without the champagne in it.
"Yes, but Regina…" Monica said, accepting the glass, astounded.
"What about Regina?"
"She's sick!"
"So are you, if I remember it correctly."
"Yes, but…" Monica didn't really know what to say. "But she needs you!"
"I was actually hoping you needed me too."
"Of course I do!" Monica said, smiling at him. "But this makes no sense to me, I thought you said you were staying at home for Regina's sake."
"What, you think I just left her in her play pin and went over here?"
"Chandler she HAS no play pin."
"She got one from your parents this Christmas, remember?"
Monica made a frustrated noise and nearly jammed her fist on the quilt again. In the last second she remembered the glass in her hand.
'What is WRONG with me?' she thought.
"Your memory a bit blurry?" Chandler asked. "Well don't worry, your body's got better things to think about than weather or not our daughter has a play pin. Anyway…"
Monica listened only with one ear to his story about what him and the gang had done earlier that evening. She was busy thinking of how he managed to keep her mind off her worries. He seemed to have finally found a use for his ability to talk fast and a lot.
"Mon, you listening?" he asked. Without waiting for an answer he took her hand and went on talking. "Regina seemed to be doing better, which is good, poor little thing is sca--" He interrupted himself.
"She's what?" Monica asked.
Chandler gave her a crooked, quite awkward smile. How could he be so stupid? He'd almost told her that their daughter was scared to death since she'd never been sick before so she assumed she'd be as sick as her mommy or even die. It wasn't something Monica needed to hear.
"She's started to cough" he said instead. "I assume she's more like me than you, I always cough at the end of my colds, while you cough… well… quite often when you've got colds."
Chandler knew he was babbling along.
'Be careful!' he thought. 'Make sure you don't let any frogs leap out this time.'
"So anyway," he continued, "I put her to sleep early, around half past eight, and she really looks like she's gonna sleep until seven or eight tomorrow morning. And I figured I couldn't do more for her at the moment, so I told the others to guard her with their lives, sort of, and then I came over here. The perfect solution. I get to spend New Years with both my girls."
He kissed her on the cheek and hoped he was done talking. He felt he might say something else stupid if he continued.
"Oh god, thank you so much…" Monica said, burying her face in his neck and putting her arms around him.
Chandler carefully took her glass from her and sat it down on her nightstand, carefully making sure he knew which glass was which, and then hugged her back.
"Wow babe… you make it seem as if I've granted you an audience with the pope or something."
"I'm not a catholic" Monica responded, and giggled slightly together with Chandler. "Oh I was so sad when I woke up earlier tonight and found that no one was here… I just wanted to see your face or hear your voice… I was planning on calling you, but then I somehow fell asleep again and then I wake up and here you are."
"Telepathy" Chandler suggested, only half kidding.
"Thank you, I love you…" Monica said and kissed him on the cheek.
"Here, take your glass" Chandler said and reached for one of the glasses, handing it to her. He took the other one and clinked it against hers. "Cheers and happy new year, my love."
"Already?" Monica said with a raised eyebrow.
"Yeah. My watch is two minutes past, actually. I got here pretty much with only a few minutes to spare."
"Okay, then cheers!" Monica said, taking a sip from her glass.
"Here's to a year much better than the one we're leaving behind" Chandler said, raising his glass as to make a toast at a dinner party. "Here's to a year with good health and fast recoveries. A year that we will end as we started it, together. And a year where a certain baby girl says 'daddy'."
Monica laughed at the last part.
"She is taking her time with the talking, isn't she?" she said with a smile.
"Maybe we should let a… a… well, one of those doctors who work with voice and speech take a look at her."
"My my, someone's been doing their homework" Monica said with a smile, and copied him. "'A… a… one of those doctors who work with voice and speech'! My gosh Chandler, if the chaplain's aid heard you she'd cry."
Chandler rolled his eyes and took a sip from his glass.
"Okay, so is it my turn?" Monica asked. "To say something for a toast, I mean."
"Go ahead."
"Okay, then I'd like to quote that line from Tennyson, like you insist on doing every New Years anyway…" Monica harked and tried to remember the last line of the poem that Chandler always recited at New Years. "Ring out the year of a thousand wars… And ring in the kingdom of a thousand peaces."
"Not too shabby" Chandler said with a nod. "But you forgot the 'ring, bell, ring' part. That part is the best."
"What do you want from me, I only know the last two lines!"
Chandler laughed and kissed her. She kissed him back and felt her head spin. Unfortunately not because of the kiss. Chandler ended the kiss and pulled back, eyeing her and grabbing her glass. He put it down. When he looked up at her she had fallen asleep again.
"That tired, huh?" he said and kissed her on the cheek. "Well I'll stay for a few more hours, babe. Love you, Monica."
*
Phoebe tried her best to soothe Regina. She was walking with the girl in the living room, and Regina was crying. Phoebe desperately glanced at the others, not knowing what to do.
"Someone call Chandler soon, or else one of the neighbours are gonna think we're maltreating her or something!" she said. "Ross you have a son, why can't YOU try?"
Ross rose from the couch and then sat again. He knew it wouldn't be any use.
"Phoebs, would you get her to STOP?" Rachel said, sounding fed-up. "My ears are bleeding here!"
"I don't think she can help it, she's little and she's sick and she's not with her parents" Joey said. "Trust me, my sister's son did the exact same thing once. Although my sister was just in the next room, so that was taken care of pretty fast."
Rachel rolled her eyes, annoyed with Joey for his stupid story and annoyed with Regina for crying and annoyed with Phoebe for not making her stop. Ross was annoying her just because he was sitting there and not doing anything.
"Why did she even wake up again in the first place?" she finally said. "Chandler said she would sleep until morning!"
"Bad dream, perhaps" Phoebe suggested. "She might still have a fever. And not all people sleep too well when they're sick."
"But make her stop crying! I'm ready to join her!" Rachel said.
"Me too, from pure sympathy" Phoebe said, lightly starting to bounce Regina up and down like you do with a smaller baby. "Poor lamb, she's going through a lot." Phoebe took a deep, shivering breath and wished the girl would stop crying. She felt like such a failure, and it felt like Regina didn't feel safe with her.
Chandler entered, and Phoebe hurriedly turned at him.
"Chandler thank God you're here!" she said.
"Oh my gosh, she's awake?" Chandler said, sounding a bit worried. "Phoebe why haven't you gotten her to stop crying?"
"I think YOU need to do that" Joey said, giving his amateur opinion in child psychology.
Chandler walked over to Phoebe and reached for the baby.
"Here we go, there we go…" he quietly said when Phoebe handed him his daughter. He held her close and slowly started walking back and forth in front of the TV, just like Phoebe had done. Phoebe sat down.
"There we go sweetie…" Chandler quietly and softly said. "Don't cry… daddy's here, don't cry…"
Regina's sobs calmed somewhat, and she was mostly just crying in a stubborn baby way like children do when they've cried a lot and are starting to calm down.
"Ever heard of a pacifier?" Chandler asked his friends, and picked it up from the coffee table. "Here you go, sweetheart" he said and stuck it in Regina's mouth. "There…" He kissed her on the forehead. "You don't have to cry anymore… I'm here, I'm not going anywhere… You feel sick, don't you? Is your throat aching? Your head?" He kissed her on the top of her head and pressed her closer. He looked over at the rest. "She been awake long?" he asked.
"Yeah, sort of…" Ross said.
"She woke up about half an hour ago" Phoebe filled in. "And she's cried the whole time."
"Why didn't you call me?" Chandler asked. "Why didn't you hand her the pacifier or give her something warm to drink for her throat, or just do ANYTHING?"
"Well it's not like we didn't TRY!" Rachel defended herself. "Come on, of course it's easy for YOU to get her to stop crying!"
"I think she was just very daddy-sick" Joey said. "She woke up for the first time in her life without you or Monica being around, and to top it all off she wasn't feeling well."
Chandler kept his eyes on the child, trying to repress the guilt he felt.
*
The others soon took off and Chandler found that Joey had most likely been right in his amateuristic diagnosis. As soon as he went out of sight for Regina she would start to cry again. He sat her down on a blanket in the nursery when she finally went asleep, and left the room to go get a drink of water before putting her to bed and getting ready for bed himself. But after just about twenty seconds he heard toddle footsteps running into the living room and turned around to see his crying daughter coming running to him. He put his glass down on the sink and kneeled down, hugging her when she reached him.
"Oh Gina, don't cry…" he said, feeling more helpless than ever. "Sweetie don't cry… Daddy's not going anywhere, you KNOW that!"
He lifted her up and took her with him into the bathroom while he got ready for bed. Then he carried her on his hip, holding her firmly with his left arm, as he walked around the apartment turning off all the lights. Then he let her sleep in his bed, on her mother's pillow.
He put her down on Monica's beside and tucked her in. He turned the light off in the ceiling, leaving only his nightstand light on. He got into bed and noticed that she still had cheeks wet from old and new tears. He kept in a sigh and turned his light off, before he grabbed her and lifted her over to him.
"It'll be okay…" he whispered to her, stroking her head in the darkness. "I'm sorry I left you earlier tonight… I saw mommy. She sends all of her love. She can't wait to see you again."
He quieted, but didn't stop stroking her head. She was laying partly on top of him, partly next to him, pretty much like Monica loved to do. Chandler noticed that he'd forgotten to bring her bunny but Regina seemed content with having him as a substitute for one night, so he decided to let it be. He didn't want to disturb her when she finally seemed to be going to sleep.
After a few minutes he could hear her steady breath and he knew she was sleeping. He was still stroking her head, feeling a bit comforted by it. It was comforting to have contact with another human being, especially one that wouldn't judge him.
He closed his eyes and let the guilt wash over him. He had left Regina, he had taken off to the hospital and left her with the others. Not that he didn't trust him, but he knew she'd never ever woken up without one of her parents being there and he knew how scared she could be sometimes that Chandler would go somewhere too. He also knew that she was sick for the first time in her life and that she needed his comfort and care. And yet he had taken off and left her with the others.
'How could I be so stupid?' he thought. 'Monica knew it was stupid, she knew it all right… She was happy to have me there, but she didn't think it was a good idea that I left Regina all alone. Well, not ALL alone, but the guys can't replace a parent. And I KNOW how parent-sick she gets.'
He sighed and stopped stroking Regina's head.
'I'm the one who always says that you have to put your child's needs above your own. Well did I do that tonight? Hell no… And look what that lead to.'
He felt really bad for leaving his daughter, even just for three hours, when she had a cold and felt scared. In one way it would have felt better if Regina had been acting like she was mad at him, but she hadn't acted like that at all. She had shown in every way that she wanted her daddy to be there, she wouldn't let him out of sight once he got back, and that made Chandler feel even worse.
'I guess that's the problem with children' he thought. 'They're too damn honest about everything. Regina never even reflected about the fact that I wasn't there when I should have been, she only reflected about the fact that I was gone when she woke up but then I came back home.'
He sighed in the darkness and wished for the billionth time that Monica was at home with him. Handling all of the duties of a parent was hard to do on your own, especially with a child like his, who had become so eager to always have a parent with her. He closed his eyes hard and tried not to think of what it would be like if Monica died.
*
Monica was barely aware that she was awake. It was now the last week of January, and she was more sick now that she'd ever been before. She sometimes fell asleep in the middle of sentences, she often needed to throw up and she couldn't get out of the bed on her own. And she had lost all interest of being taken out to the dayroom in a wheelchair.
She felt a warm hand on her forehead, and soft lips on hers. She opened her eyes slightly and hoped she was smiling. She couldn't really tell.
"How's my hero?" she managed to say, her voice quite husky.
"He's in love" Chandler replied, kissing her on the forehead. "And he's eager to tell his heroine to try not to talk."
"I'm getting worse, aren't I?" Monica said, her voice even more husky now.
"Well…" Chandler said. He then sighed and looked down on the bed. "Monica I can't lie to you. You deserve to know what's going on."
"I'm dying" Monica croaked, not knowing weather to accept it or fight it. Neither option seemed appealing.
"No, I'm afraid you're gonna have to wait a while before we can say that for sure" Chandler said. "And I'd rather prefer not having to hear it for another forty or fifty years." He sighed and looked at her. "But you've… come down with a cold. We don't know how exactly. Gina's not at day-care anymore, so she can't have caught anything there and passed it on to you… And I haven't exactly been out much, and I none of the others are sick…"
"Maybe a nurse passed it on to me…" Monica suggested, struggling to keep her eyes open. "There are so many people I could have gotten this from…"
Chandler kept in a few swearwords. He couldn't understand how they could let people possibly carrying germs wander around in the hospital among cancer patients?
"Monica please don't talk unless you feel you really have to…" he said and stroke her cheek. "Save your energy. The doctors don't think it's very serious."
That was a lie, but she didn't seem to notice. Chandler hoped she wouldn't find out that the 15-year-old boy in the room next to Monica's had died earlier that day. He too had had leukaemia, and he too had gotten a cold. What Monica needed to hear was that she could make it if she fought it.
He met her eyes, that were more closed than open by now, and he saw a look in her eyes that made him feel warm inside. She looked at him as if she wished she could only tell him how much he meant to her.
"Baby, I love you so much, you'll never know…" he said, and leaned in to hug her close. He let his face rest next to hers on the pillow and he gently took her hand and started to stroke the back of it with his thumb. "Isn't it wonderful that we can love each other so?" he whispered in her ear. "I know you love me just as much as I love you… if that's possible, that is" he said. He was trying to tell her that he knew what she was too tired to say.
Monica felt a few tears run down her cheeks and she put her left arm around him and hugged him closer. She fell asleep again after just a few seconds.
*
On February 1st Monica woke up early, needing to throw up. She was alone in the room.
'They're shifting guards, I guess' she sarcastically thought, and wondered who'd just left and who was on his or her way.
She threw up and leaned back, trying not to swallow. She heard steps in the hall and knew that whoever was taking over the guard post would be there in about five seconds.
Chandler entered, looking angry. Monica frowned. When was the last time she'd seen him angry? She wanted to ask him what was the matter, but she had almost lost her voice because of the cold so she couldn't.
"The doctor tells me you're not eating!" Chandler said, angry and with his hands on his hips. "Why aren't you eating?"
"Not hungry" she said, making the sentence as short as possible.
"I don't give a rat's ass weather or not you're hungry!" Chandler growled.
Monica's eyes widened. She wasn't prepared to meet an angry husband. Especially not one who was angry over something like this.
"You are going to eat weather or not you're hungry, because weather or not you are your body needs the food."
"Can't they feed me intravenously?" Monica managed to get out.
"That's for patients who can't eat by themselves, or who've just been through surgery. You are still capable of eating on your own, you and I both know it!"
Monica turned her head to get away from his angry eyes. Chandler walked closer.
"You listen to me Monica, you are going to eat and you are going to do it NOW!"
Monica shook her head.
"Yes you are!" Chandler hissed.
"My throat is soar…" Monica said, almost starting to cry. Her whole body felt soar, but the throat was almost worst. And she hated the fact that her voice was almost gone completely. And it was so husky now, it had never been like this before.
Chandler left and returned two minutes later along with a nurse who had a tray with soup, bread and some Jell-O. Chandler sat down next to Monica on the bed, still angry and very determined. Monica was still looking in the other direction, trying to keep her tears away. The nurse left and Chandler grabbed her chin.
"Now you're going to eat" he said, turning her head in his direction. Monica was too weak to get out of his firm grip. "Open your mouth and do it NOW!"
"Chandler STOP IT!" she managed to get out, hating him in that moment. "Stop it, stop it, leave me alone!"
"No, I won't leave you alone. I refuse to stand by and watch you starve yourself to death! Trust me, that is not a better option! Now open your mouth Monica!"
"I'll just be sick again!" Monica said, hoping she wouldn't loose her voice completely.
"From what I understand you just were sick. You throw up weather or not you eat, and with food in your stomach the odds are that you'll NOT throw up! You'll feel better, come on Mon!"
She shook her head. Chandler lost patience completely.
"I am through playing nice with you here, don't think that being sick is an excuse for starving yourself! Now open your damn mouth!"
Surprised by his last words she opened her mouth and swallowed the first spoon of soup he gave her. She felt like she was going to throw up at any second. He continued to feed her, angrily.
"Chandler please, I'm two seconds away from needing to throw up…" she managed to say.
"How good, that means about two more spoons before you do. Open up!" Chandler replied.
Chandler managed to get her to eat all of the soup, bread and then decided to make her eat the Jell-O as well. Monica reluctantly ate and fought with her urge to throw up. Tears were falling down her cheeks and she hated him in that moment.
Chandler fed her the last spoon and then put the tray down on the floor. He then pulled her into a hug, no longer mad, and she let him comfort her.
"Monica, Monica, you know just as well as I do… You CAN'T stop eating! What are you supposed to live on?"
"Don't talk with me" Monica croaked. "Just shut up."
Chandler rocked her back and forth, wishing he could ease her pain. And heard and felt how she took deep breaths to keep the food down. He slowly formed the hand sign for 'I love you' and stroke her back with that hand, hoping she could feel what he was saying.
*
Phoebe cast a glance on the clock on the wall and sighed. She then glanced at Monica, who was asleep.
"What a lousy way to spend a February night" she mumbled, not sure if she was referring to herself or to Monica. Neither option was very appealing.
She heard a small noise and looked up. Monica was moving her head in her sleep and mumbling something. Phoebe raised an eyebrow, but let it fall again. Rachel had heard her talk in her sleep in December, so it wasn't really something out of the ordinary.
Phoebe glanced down on her feet, just to have something to look at. She didn't feel like she needed to be there right now. The five friends had made a rolling schedule, making sure someone was always with Monica. They all took time off from work every now and then to make it fit, especially the person who had night watch. Chandler was hard to fit in the schedule since he had the baby at home to worry about. He always came by at least twice a day, but on the other hand he couldn't stay over the night since Regina needed him at home. Their usual routine was eight hours at a time, which was quite a lot. But no one ever said anything about it.
Rachel had after a while suggested that they would exclude Chandler from the schedule, so he could come and go as he wished. And when he came he often stayed until the next person came to take over the watch, which meant that the person who was there when he arrived could go home. Chandler brought Regina with him around every third day usually, but since Monica had come down with her cold he let Regina stay at home. He felt it was better that way.
"Five more hours to go…" Phoebe said to herself. "And Monica's been asleep for as long as I've been here. So much for spending the night pleasantly."
Phoebe didn't mind at all to be there when Monica was awake. Even though Monica didn't say or do much these days, they could always watch movies together or listen to music together. And Phoebe liked seeing that her company was good for Monica, it cheered her up to have her friends there and it always seemed as if she thought it was a pleasant surprise to see which one of them was there each time she woke up.
Rachel, on the other hand, preferred to be there while Monica was asleep. She had soon realized after Christmas that being there with an awake Monica meant having to take care of the bedpan she vomited in, and Rachel hated having to do that. She mostly wanted to take the '00.00 - 08.00' shift, because that's when it was most likely that Monica would be asleep. Tonight though she wouldn't have to be there, Joey was coming over at midnight to let Phoebe go home and sleep.
"Hope you get better, friend…" Phoebe said, glancing at Monica. "This is really taking it out of us all. Pretty strange if you think about it… We're really like a family, making up schedules for who's being here with you when…"
Monica's parents didn't come by often. It was too long of a drive for them to just come over for a few hours, so they usually came over every ten days and stayed for about five days each time. Those days the gang got one shift off each day. Jack and Judy spent the night asleep in Chandler and Monica's apartment and part of the day baby-sitting their granddaughter while Chandler caught up with work, ran errands or sat by his wife's side.
Phoebe knew it was another seven days before Mr. and Mrs. Geller would come by again. That meant another week of baby-sitting, sitting with Monica, working and trying to keep up with life. Most of their life was circling around Monica now.
Monica tossed and turned in her sleep for a few seconds, mumbling something. Phoebe rose and went over to her, taking a closer look. She put her hand against Monica's forehead and found it burning hot. She sat down on the chair next to the bed and took a cold wet cloth from a small pack on the nightstand and placed it on Monica's forehead.
"You've got a fever again, my friend" she said. "This cold seems awful stubborn, don't you think?"
She felt thankful to have something to do for a while. She chatted along with her sleeping friend about everything and nothing while she tried to see if she could get the fever to go down. Her chat seemed to have a calming effect on Monica, who soon slept more calmly again.
Phoebe picked up the cold cloth and threw it in the trash. She leaned back in the quite uncomfortable chair and fell asleep as well, even though it was only around eight at night.
*
She woke up close to midnight, awaken by a cry from Monica. Phoebe sat up straight and then leaned closer.
Monica was twisting in her sleep again and mumbling things now as well. Phoebe couldn't make out a single word of what she was saying, but she felt a bit scared. She could feel her pulse and her heart beating slightly faster. She quickly grabbed another cold wet cloth and placed it on Monica's forehead. After a few seconds Monica calmed down and went back to her peaceful sleep.
"Knock knock!" Joey said, sticking his head in. "You awake?"
"Uh-hu." Phoebe said with a nod as Joey entered. "She isn't though. I don't think she has been for as long as I've been here. I fell asleep myself, so I can't say for sure. But Ross said she fell asleep around eleven."
"She needs all the sleep she can get" Joey pointed out, and placed a kiss on Monica's cheek. "Isn't that right, Sleeping Beauty?"
"She's been twisting and turning in her sleep" Phoebe told him. "And she's mumbling stuff, I can't tell what."
"Probably 'oh, Chandler'!" Joey said jokingly.
"Yeah, well keep an eye on her. Her fever is up again."
Phoebe rose and headed for the door. She stopped in the doorway and turned to look at Joey. He was sitting down on Monica's other side, looking through one of the magazines that lay on that nightstand. He was whistling to himself, seeming quite awake.
Out in the corridor she ran into a doctor exiting the room opposite Monica's.
"Excuse me doctor, but can I ask you something?" Phoebe asked. "My friend is in there," she said and pointed at the door she'd just exited, "and she's quite sick, she's got leukaemia and a cold, and she's mumbling and tossing and turning in her sleep. And I think she's got a high fever. Is this normal or is this bad?"
"I'll have a look on her" the doctor said and went past Phoebe into Monica's room.
"Something wrong?" Joey asked, looking up as the doctor entered.
"Just checking on your friend, that's all…" the doctor replied.
Monica made a crying noise in her sleep and threw her head to the right.
*
Fifteen minutes later Chandler, Ross and Rachel had gotten to the hospital. Chandler was holding Regina who was still in her pyjamas. They were standing outside Monica's room with Phoebe. Joey was still with Monica.
"This doesn't have to be that serious" the young doctor Phoebe had talked to earlier said. "But… well…"
"Butt well what?" Chandler asked, feeling almost too tired to be scared. Regina was nodding off with her head resting on his shoulder.
"But she's fallen into a deep sleep. Not a coma, but something close to that. We can't really reach her."
Phoebe felt that she was shivering. She couldn't help it, it was as if she'd gotten outside in really cold weather. Ross put an arm around her, realizing she was probably in a lighter state of shock.
"Are you saying my wife MIGHT fall into a coma?" Chandler asked, not wanting to think about what that could mean.
"What I'm saying is basically…" The doctor shook his head to clear his thoughts. "I can't tell you for sure… But I would have to say that she's probably… going through the hardest part of her sickness."
"There's not to ask of why, there's but to do and die…" Chandler mumbled. Then he looked at the doctor. "If I understand you correctly this is sort of a turning point… It's life or death. She makes it or she doesn't make it. And now is when it's determined."
"Something to that affect" the doctor said with a nod. "But to make it simpler: it can only get better from this point. If she doesn't die."
"My God…" Chandler said, and went past the doctor into his wife's hospital room. Joey looked up at him, with a scared look in his eyes. He looked worn and haggard.
"Chandler what did the doctor say?" he asked. "He wouldn't tell me anything until you got here, what's going on here?"
"Take the baby" Chandler said and handed Joey Regina. Then he went around to the other side of the bed and sat down, taking Monica's hand. He locked his eyes on her and didn't take them off her. "It's now or never" he said to Joey. "Or something like that. The doctor says she can only go in two directions at this point. To being well or to being dead."
"Oh god…" Joey said.
Chandler looked pretty worn and haggard as well. His eyes were looking almost panicked and he wouldn't take them off Monica.
Joey rose with Regina in his arms.
"I'm… gonna leave you two alone" he said. He looked down on Monica and all of a sudden got hit by the realisation that this might be the last time he saw her alive. He didn't even bother to hold back his tears and leaned down to kiss Monica on the cheek one last time.
"Pull through Monica!" he said, almost sobbing. "You can do it. You've got everything to return to."
He left, leaving Chandler and Monica alone. Chandler immediately began trying to get contact with Monica.
"Monica listen to me now!" he said. "You've, you've just got some fever, I'll help you get better, if you can hear me then focus on my voice!"
He heard her call his name twice, low and husky. She was breathing unevenly and her breath was wheezy. She was twisting and turning anxiously. Chandler watched her with fear like a cold hand around his heart. He saw his wife, his adored wife, make a pained face and then cry out 'No!'.
Then she was quiet. And still. Chandler exhaled in relief. She was peaceful again. Then he heard a high beeping sound and turned his head to the machines monitoring her vital functions. The one showing her heartbeats was the beeping one. Her EKG showed no heartbeats.
Review please. I'm gonna post part4 tomorrow or so, but it takes some time to get 'em into txt format... Anyway, let me know what you think!