Always, 13
INTRODUCTION: Word of warning: Odd war story features in the beginning. Don't kill me 'cause it sucks!
DISCLAIMER: I don't own the characters from "Friends" and I don't own the lyrics for "Cherish".
Regina sighed and looked up from the journal she was writing. She was 28 years old, and a medical doctor. She had decided to become a doctor and to try and cure cancer when she was younger, to prevent other children from having the same kind of childhood she had had. But the hours were long and the work was massive. She hardly had the time to visit her father these days. She never went to see her brother unless her father forced her to come with him.
She rose and put the journal away. She couldn't concentrate on it right now anyway, and she had a patient that she needed to take a look on. She yawned and stretched out her arms. She hadn't slept in over twenty hours, and she had another six hours before she could go home and sleep. She had never expected that much work as a specialist on cancer.
She picked up her glasses from the writing desk and put them on. She needed glasses when she read, and she hoped that they would help her stay focused for a while when she visited the patient.
*
Regina hadn't spent her first years as a doctor working with cancer patients. In the year 2024 World War Three had broken out, and she had ended up going to Israel to work as a field doctor. She had only been twenty years old, and she hadn't been finished with her studies. She'd ended up having to study and work at the same time, but she had learned a whole lot. And she had met Jasper, a soldier from Maine who had been injured. They had fallen in love and ended up staying together once they got back to America when the war was over. Jasper had moved to New York to be closer to her, and by now they were living together.
Regina wasn't the only family member who had gone to war. Gabriel had been called in after two years, while he was only eighteen. Regina hadn't cared much. She still thought of him as the person responsible for her mother's death, and not as a brother. She knew that he had been stationed somewhere in Asia, in Vietnam or Burma.
The war had started when Saddam Hussein had died and his sons had started a war to take over the world. They had fought with the countries close by at first, but then surprised the whole world by attacking first Burma, then Indonesia and then Vietnam. Korea followed shortly after. USA quickly got involved, backed up by the EU. Germany had been eager to fight for the sake of freedom in the Asian countries that had been taken over, wanting to show the world that they were no longer the country that started the war, but the country that fought for freedom. But then France had become skeptic, remembering the past two wars, and without anyone really knowing how, France and Germany had broken their alliance that came with the EU and they were in war. EU had fallen, and become divided into three sides. The countries who fought for France, like Britain, and the countries who stood by Germany, like Denmark. And the countries that were neutral, with Switzerland and Sweden as the leading nations for that position. Those two countries had been neutral throughout both the past world wars.
With the fall of the EU came more problems within Europe. The Euro was all of a sudden a currency that the German side wanted as theirs, and the French side as theirs. The whole situation ended up with two new currencies, the French Euro and the German Euro. Sweden went back to kronor, and other neutral countries, like Greece, followed that example and went back to the currencies they'd had during the 20th century. Europe became full of it's own problems, and the countries didn't have the manpower to fight in two parts of the world at the same time. Especially not since they would be on the same team in Asia but fighting each other in Europe. In the US, the question arose of which side to stand on. The republicans said the French, the democrats said the German. USA came close to a second civil war, but the new president managed to thwart it. USA officially declared that as long as there was a war in Asia, they would fight there and let the European countries handle their own business. And once the Asian countries were free again, the US could start thinking about which side to stand on in the European battle. The trouble increased when China got involved, starting to fight America. They soon withdrew, and nobody really understood why they even got involved in the first place.
The war had gone on until 2030, four years after it had started. By 2028 Hussein's sons had all been killed, and the Asian countries got their freedom back. But in Europe it took two more years to get peace, and USA decided not to take any sides, but to try and meddle. In September the year 2030, Europe finally became a continent in peace again.
Regina had returned home in 2030, two years after her brother's return. She had met Jasper in 2029, and he had been able to stay until she got to go home as well. Gabriel had been less fortunate.
He had been stationed in Vietnam, which had been the worst place of all to be in, fallowed shortly by Korea. The Vietnamese people hadn't forgotten American's war in their country in the 1960ies, and they hadn't forgiven either. The hatred went too deep for any ice to be able to be broken during the first years, and even though the American soldiers were only there to help them out this time around, the habitants didn't want them there. Gabriel had arrived in 2026, and it had only taken him a few months before he'd fallen in love. The object of his affection had been a Vietnamese girl that he had met in Da Nang, and for the two years that he fought there they had been together. But then all of a sudden the war had ended. Vietnam was free, and the soldiers had no more business being there. Gabriel had thought he would bring his girlfriend Trang back home to the states, but quickly realized that it was a bad idea. Just like with the previous wars in Asia that the US had fought, this war had reawaken apartheid. Back in the states nobody cared if Trang was Vietnamese or Chinese. To them she was one of the animals that had killed their sons in Asia, and it didn't matter where she came from. Gabriel didn't want to put her through the hatred she would receive from so many people in the US, and he had talked to her about it too. She had agreed with him that it was better for her to stay in her home country. Gabriel had first thought of staying himself, but then he had gotten sent to Europe for a few months and then he had been forced to return to America. He had never seen or heard from her again, and he missed her dearly.
Chandler had noticed the depression his son was going through, and at first he thought it was memories from the war combined with the difficulties to get readjusted to ordinary life in USA. But then Gabriel had ended up telling him about Trang. He had told his father everything, how he had met her, fallen in love and how much he actually loved her. And that he knew he'd had to leave her, and that he would most likely never see her again. Chandler had hugged him close, and known exactly what he was feeling. They had talked for hours after that, and Chandler had told Gabriel details about his own relationship to Monica. He knew better than anyone what it was like to loose someone you loved more than anything. Monica had been dead for twenty years by then, but Chandler still missed her just as much as if it had been twenty months. Gabriel and Chandler had gotten a lot closer after that, since Gabriel understood his father better now, and since Chandler was the only one in his life that knew how he felt and what he was going through. At the same time his relationship with Regina had gotten worse. Regina thought of him as a theft, stealing her father's affections away from her.
But the war was over now, and Chandler had both his children safe back in New York. One of them with a heartache that came close to Chandler's own, even though it wasn't half as intense, and one of them with her emotional scars after seeing so many people die and get hurt.
*
Regina fled from the room where her patient lay, and ran the stairs until she reached the roof of the hospital. She flung the door open and raced out, slamming the door hard behind her. She ran over to the couch that sat up on the roof, and sank down on it, burying her face in her hands. It was so awful. And it was painfully familiar.
She had a patient right now that was seven months pregnant, and recently diagnosed with lung cancer. Regina's mother had been seven months pregnant and diagnosed with cancer. Regina hadn't thought much of the resemblance at first, concentrating on the situation in hand. She told the woman that was her patient all the facts about the situation. She needed medication and chemotherapy, if she didn't get the treatment she had just about four months left to live. But the medicine would endanger the baby's health and even life. She would have to make a choice, her baby's safety or her own. The woman, Mrs. Peters, hadn't even thought about it for a second. She had told Regina to induce labour as fast as possible. Regina had tried not to shown how startled she was, and she had tried to convince Mrs. Peters to give her baby better odds to live. But the woman had refused to even hear about how long she could go without getting the treatment if she decided to give the baby some more time to develop.
Regina cried bitterly, hating her job at the moment. The cold wind up on the roof didn't even bother her at the moment. She couldn't understand how anyone could be that selfish. How anyone could put their own life in front of a little child's, a child that was so dependent on it's mother. It was awful, and there was nothing Regina could do about it. She couldn't force Mrs. Peters to hold off with inducing labour. She couldn't even understand how Mrs. Peters was thinking, since her life was in no danger yet. Cancer treatment was a lot more effective now than it had been twenty years ago, and most people were cured within two months. Dying of cancer was rare when you were in the same age as Mrs. Peters. She had all the odds on her side, she could easily hold off another month at least without risking her own life. But she had refused. Blankly refused.
While she wept Regina came to think of her own mother. She hadn't thought about her in over three years now, trying her best to forget about how horrible her childhood had been like. Her father had done everything he could, and she loved him more than anyone else in the world. She would do anything at all for his sake, and she knew that she had him to thank for everything. It was not her father's fault that she'd had a horrible childhood. She had been happier than all of her friends when she was little, when her mother was alive. But the death of her Mother had taken away the joy in her father's eyes and a source of love that Regina had thought would be there forever. And instead of her mother she had gotten a brother that she could hardly stand. And her mother had been in the same situation as Mrs. Peters was now, only she had made the choice that Regina in her heart whished Mrs. Peters would make.
She looked up at the stars and remembered when she was little, and she had believed that her mother might be one of the stars in the sky. She had often looked up at the bright stars and wondered which one was Monica. Now she knew her mother wasn't one of the stars. She didn't know anything at all about where her mother was at this time, other than where her body was buried. Her father visited her mother's grave at least once a week, and he often sat there, staring into space, and probably thinking about things that had happened long before Regina had been born.
Regina dried off her tears.
*
Gabriel opened the door and saw his sister on the other side. He looked at her skeptically. She never came to visit him alone, she always came with their father. And Gabriel had a strong suspicion that she only came when Chandler forced her to.
"Is dad here too?" he asked.
"No. It's just me. Can I come in?"
He opened the door wider so she could get in. She walked inside, looking around and feeling unsure. She took off her coat and her scarf, and hung them on the coat rack. Gabriel silently followed her into the kitchen but didn't sit down even though she did.
"Has something happened?" he asked. Then he looked worried. "There's nothing wrong with Dad, is there?" That was the only reason he could think of why she would come and visit him alone.
"No. Dad's fine. I guess. I haven't talked to him."
"So then why are you here?"
Regina looked up at her brother. Now that he was an adult it was even more obvious just how much he resembled both of their parents. Regina could see the features from the two people she had loved since the day she was born in his face. And in his eyes, that had Monica's color but Chandler's shape, she saw a look that was always in her father's eyes. And she realized that she had never bothered to find out why that look was even there.
"I came here…" she began, "to tell you that I love you."
Gabriel looked at her. He said nothing. He took a sip from the coke in his hand, then put the can down on the sink. He kept looking at her, wordlessly.
"I know you've ever expected me to say that…" Regina said. "But it's true. I do love you. And I just wanted you to know that."
"Why, Regina?" he asked, and Regina knew he wasn't referring to her saying that she loved him. "Why did you then treat me this way? Why if you love me have you been so mean, so CRUEL towards me? I have always loved you, you're my big sister. But you've treated me really bad over the years."
"I know" Regina said. "And if you let me, I'll tell you why."
Gabriel made a hand gesture that was just like one of Chandler's. It meant 'go ahead'.
"I saw this patient today…" Regina began. "A woman who was seven months pregnant and diagnosed lung cancer. She didn't want to wait with having the baby, she decided right away to give birth right away and to start the treatment. But this is dangerous for the baby, it needs at least another pair of weeks… The baby might very well die. And I just thought it was so horrible, you know? How can this woman, as a mother endanger the life of her unborn child? She isn't even in any immediate danger, she can easily wait for a while before starting the treatment. And then it all hit me. Mom was forced to make the same choice once, and she too made up her mind instantly, but she chose to give her baby a better chance to survive. She chose to wait for as long as possible before allowing you to be born, because she cared more about you than about herself. I would have made the exact same choice if I was here. But Mom gambled and she lost. She managed to save your life, but then she died. And I just realized today that she did the only thing she possibly could. She valued your life above her own because you were her son, and she would never have been able to forgive herself if she had done anything else than what she did. And it was in no way your fault."
"That's not what you've said in the past…"
"I know, Gabriel." Regina sighed and tried to decide how to continue with her story. "I was so little when Mom died. I was four years old, four and a half. I didn't understand what was going on and I didn't understand her choices. And I needed someone to blame, someone to hold responsible for my Mother's death! And people kept talking about how she died because she waited too long with giving birth, and that to me meant that you were responsible. I was only four years old, I didn't know what else to think! And I never said anything about it, and by the time anybody found out it was already too late. I had gotten much older by that time. If someone had talked to me during the first two or three years, if someone had just sat down and explained to me that you weren't responsible, then I would have believed them. But I didn't let it show that I felt like that, so no one found out about it. Until, as I said before, it was already too late. And by that time it had turned into more than just that. I was so jealous of you for the attention you got from Dad. Before you came along, it had been me and our parents, and that was the best time of my life. You have never seen dad really happy Gabriel, but I have. During the first years of my life I never say him UNHAPPY. Mom brought out this side in him that was so full of smiles and laughter and joy. And he had this glow in his eyes when he spoke about her, or to her, or just looked at her. In fact, all it took was mentioning her name and you would see that glow in his eyes. And his face would light up as soon as she was near, and there was this look that he would give her… But all of that went away after her death. And somehow I ended up blaming you for that too. And I never allowed myself to think about you in any other way than as the person responsible for my Mother's death. I knew somewhere deep inside that if I didn't think of you that way then I would realize that I actually love you a lot, and then I wouldn't be able to blame you anymore. But now I've reached a point where I just can't go around accusing you of things you had no control over. You are my brother Gabriel, and I love you. Mom loved you enough to die for you, and I know that Dad loves you that way too. And I think I love you that much as well. You're the last thing I have that is a living reminder of my mother, and…"
She paused. She couldn't get another word out. She felt tired and her head was aching from all the emotional storms. She looked up when Gabriel sat down opposite her.
"Ever since I was little…" he said. "Ever since I was little I've tried to win your love. You've always been like a role model to me, Regina. And you think you are jealous of me? Well you should just know how jealous I am of you. You have no idea how damn lucky you are, Regina Bing! Because for one thing you look like Mom. I've seen so many pictures of the woman who is our mother, and you look more like her than I'll ever do. Especially when your face is serious. I look too much like dad to be able to look a lot like mom. Sometimes when I think of mom she looks like you do. And there's more reasons for me to be jealous of you. You got to KNOW her, Regina! You got to live with her and you got to be loved by her for YEARS! You got to be the child that she held in her arms and sang lullabies to, the child who's forehead she kissed lovingly, the child that she played with and laughed with and KNEW! You got to have BOTH our parents in your life! And you got to know our dad as a HAPPY man! You got to see him be happy. I know I'll never get to see that anymore than I'll get to fall asleep in my mother's arms. You have no idea Gina how many nights I've laid awake, picturing what it would be like to get to hear my mother's voice telling me that she loves me." He paused for a second. "And when I was little I wished that I could reach you. I gave up trying after a while, but at first I wanted to get through to you. It would have been more… I don't know… natural if we had stuck together. I mean, we had no mother, all we had was Dad and each other."
"Once I got a little older, everyone treated me as if I couldn't remember mom!" Regina said, deep into her own thoughts at the moment. "When she'd just died everyone felt so sorry for me, but once I got around six or seven people started acting as if I had forgotten about her. And I know most people may not remember things that happened when they were that little, but I have never forgotten her! I remember her, she's very clear in my head. I remember what she looked like, I remember most of the faces she made, I remember the difference in the smile that was meant for Dad and the one that was meant for me… And I remember her voice, I remember things she's told me. I've even got memories of incidents that happened, like this one time when mom got mad at dad and threw a pillow on him and he threw one right back. The next thing I knew they were in the middle of a huge pillow fight, laughing and shrieking. I remember stories she used to tell me and what lullabies she used to sing me to sleep with."
She quieted and looked around in the book. She smiled slightly when her eyes fell on a copy of "Mio my Son" that her brother had on the kitchen table. She knew it was her brother's favorite Lindgren book, while her own was "The Brothers Lionheart". Now that she thought about it, it wasn't so strange that her brother had Mio as his favorite. Mio had too been a motherless child. His mother had died when he was born, and Gabriel's had died just after his birth. And Gabriel had even named his cat Miramis.
"Still as fond of Mio, huh?" she stated, rather than asked.
"Yeah. It was Christian Bale's best film, after all" he replied with a slight grin.
"You know, I always preferred 'The Brothers Lionheart'" Regina said. "I used to force mom to read it to me. I didn't even understand the plot really, and the drawn pictures of Katla freaked me out…" She looked up at Gabriel. "Do you know what mom's last words to me where?"
"Nope."
"She said that I shouldn't cry, because I would get to see her in Nangiyala. She was quoting the book."
"Like I said…" Gabriel said with a sad smile. "She got to know you. She'll never know me. But she knew you."
*
Two years later Gabriel and Regina came home to their Father's apartment late one afternoon. He had called them and asked them to come over. He was once again living in the apartment where he and Monica had lived. He had moved with the children right before Regina's thirteenth birthday, but sublet the apartment. And once Gabriel had gone to war he had moved back.
At first they didn't see him. He was sitting on the couch. The same couch that had been there during Monica's lifetime. He was staring into space, listening to music and holding a piece of fabric in his hand that he was twisting around. The stereo was on, playing an old song from the twentieth century. It was "Cherish" by Kool & The Gang. It was clear that Chandler's mind was elsewhere. He probably wasn't even aware that his children were there.
Let's take a walk together, near the ocean shore
Hand in hand you and I
Let's cherish every moment we have been given
The time is passing by
I often pray before I lay down
By your side
If you receive your calling before I awake
Could I make it through the night?
Cherish the love we have
We should cherish the light within
Cherish the love
Cherish the light
Cherish the love
Cherish the love we have
For as long as we both shall live
Cherish the love
Cherish the light
Cherish the love
Chandler was indeed lost in thought. Each song that was about parted lovers, especially lovers parted by death, made him think of her. This song had for years reminded him of how important it was to cherish the people close to you while you still have them there. And Monica and him had heard this song play at a restaurant they passed on their honeymoon when they were out on a moonlit stroll along the beach. He remembered that walk in detail.
The world is always changing, nothing stays the same
But love will stand the test of time
The next life that we live in, remains to be seen
Will you be by my side?
I often pray before I lay down
By your side
And if you receive your calling before I awake
Could I make it through the night?
Gabriel shut the stereo off. Chandler looked up and realized that they were there. He hadn't noticed them entering. They both looked at him with confused expressions in their faces.
"Hi kids" he said. "Sit down."
They did, Regina next to him on the couch and Gabriel in the barca.
"What's up dad?" Regina asked. "What's that thing you're holding?"
Chandler smiled sadly and lifted up the top he'd been holding in his hands.
"This…" he said, "is what your mother was wearing the night I asked her to marry me. Well, she changed clothes later on because we were gonna go out celebrate with our friends, but this is what she wore when I asked her. This and a skirt."
"You remember what she was wearing?" Gabriel said, amazed. "Wow. I don't even remember what Trang was wearing the first time she said she loved me… All I know is that it wasn't an ao dai."
"I found this in a box when I unpacked clothes after I moved back here again" Chandler said, looking at the top. "I placed it in that chest in the bedroom. And it's been laying there until today." He looked up at them. "But that's not why I called you two. I've got something important to tell you."
"What is it?" Gabriel asked.
Chandler smiled slightly.
"I've got cancer. Lung cancer."
"What?" Regina exclaimed. "Oh my goodness!"
"Are you going to be okay?" Gabriel asked.
"I'm going to die" Chandler said.
"Just like mom…" Gabriel whispered and looked away. It seemed as if cancer would always follow him. Is mother had died from it, his sister worked with it and now his father said he was going to die from it.
"Dad, that's silly!" Regina said, sounding scared and slightly desperate. "Come on now, I work with cancer treatment! Lung cancer is easy to treat these days! You should be able to survive without any problems!"
"Regina, sweetheart…" Chandler said with a sad smile. "I'm not going to have any treatment."
"WHAT!" his two children exclaimed.
"Listen you two…" Chandler said sadly. "I love you two both. But all three of us know that my life hasn't been very happy. Ever since your mother died I've been unafraid of dying. There have been times when I've even wanted to die. These days I haven't had any direct desire to do so, but now that I've gotten sick I don't mind dying."
"What, do you feel that you HONOR Monica's death by dying in the same disease?" Gabriel asked, annoyed.
"I met Monica when I was nineteen. She became my close friend when I was twenty-four. And she became my girlfriend when I was thirty. I loved her more than life. But I only got to have her for ten years. Now I'm sixty-six years old. Out of those sixty-six years I only got to have her for ten. That's horrible. And I know that if I decide to battle this disease I might live until I'm NINETY-SIX. Eighty-six years without her is more than I can stand. It's been awful enough as it is. She's been dead for twenty-six years now, and each year has felt like a decade. I don't want to be alone anymore, I don't want to miss her for even a year more. I've spent so many years missing her, and it's a missing that goes deeper than anything you've experienced with Trang, Gabriel. Because she was not only the woman that I loved, she was the mother of my two children and the most basic need in my life. A day without her was an eternity back then. And do you know what? It still is."
"But dad, that's no reason to KILL yourself!" Regina objected.
"I'm not killing myself. I'm just not having any treatment for my cancer. I've been without her for long enough. It's time for me to get to be with her again."
"So you're just going to risk your life for that?" Gabriel asked, still annoyed. "You know dad, death may just be ceasing to exist. You have no guarantees that mom lives on somewhere, you might just be dying for NOTHING!"
"Even if you're right, that would be worth it. the pain and loneliness will be over."
"But what about US? You are the only parent we've got, dad! The only parent I have ever gotten to know!"
"I know, Gabriel. But you are twenty-six years old and your sister is thirty. My role as a guardian and as a guide for the two of you is over. You don't need a parent."
"Of course we do" Regina softly objected, trying to keep her tears back. "You're the strongest link to our childhood. You're the person who knows us better than anyone else, and we know we can come to you with all of our troubles, problems and secrets. We can't come to anyone else than you."
"Listen…" Chandler said, almost as softly as Regina had spoken. "Twenty-six years. Twenty-six years since my wife died. She was the one who *I* could come to with all that you just spoke about. She was the person who would always listen, who would always love me no matter what I did. She would have forgiven me adultery even. She was my soulmate and the missing part of me. I've been half a person since the day that she died, and I needed her a lot more than you and your brother need me. You've got Jasper, Regina. If he is your soulmate then he will soon fill my place as your counselor."
"No he won't" Regina objected. "No one is as close to me as you are. And do you know what? He hasn't been there throughout my entire life. He doesn't know every single thing about me and he doesn't have any knowledge of when I was little, except for what I have told him. And hearing about it is not the same thing as knowing about it, as BEING there when I occurred."
"Then let him in. I let your mother in, I let her hear all about my bad childhood and painful memories and she UNDERSTOOD me! She got to know me so well that she could reflect back to things I had told her about my life and understand my problems even better. If she could be there for me and understand me better than I understood myself, then Jasper can do the same for you. This is not something that is up for discussion, Regina. I am not having any treatment. And that's final. I don't want to survive this disease. And I don't want to go through what my wife went through the first time she was sick, for something that I don't even BELIEVE in! Something I don't even WANT! She had EVERYTHING to survive for, I only have loneliness, heartache and a loss that has torn me apart over more than two-and-a-half decades! And I have you two, but you don't need me anymore. I'm not as much a part of your lives as I was before, and I'm sorry you two, but I have reached a point where it's not worth the pain. Only seeing your future as a painful treatment period followed by the same kind of pain that I live with everyday, that's not something anybody wants."
"Dad, treatment isn't as full of side affects as it was back when mom was sick!" Regina objected.
"Maybe not. You know, I used to sing to her when she was sick the first time around and she was feeling really bad after treatment? I used to sit by her bedside and quietly sing 'The Drugs Don't Work' to her."
"You sang a song like that?" Gabriel asked. "Dad, that doesn't sound too encouraging."
"I'm going to miss the two of you" Chandler said. "But I have made my decision and I am sticking by it."
*
Regina slammed the door hard, not bothering to wipe off the tears that fell down her cheeks. She went into the living room and found Jasper sitting there with a book in his lap. He looked up at her when he heard her enter. She stood in front of him, with her hands on her hips.
"Jasper. I've got to ask" she said. "Do you see yourself ever married to me?"
Jasper laughed.
"Wow. Hold no bars, huh? Sure I see myself ever married to you. Is this a discreet way of telling me I should start thinking of propose."
"This is a non-discreet way to tell you that in that case I want to get married within a month or two."
"What?" Jasper said, shocked. He rose and the book fell to the floor.
"I want to get married within a month or two. You heard me" Regina said.
"What on earth has caused this sudden urge to get married? This is out of the blue, you know!"
"Dad is dying!" Regina said, and the tears started falling again. "He's got cancer and he won't let me treat him! He wants to die, he wants to get to be with my mother again!"
"I'm sorry. I like your dad. Too bad he's dying. But Regina, what on earth does this have to do with marriage?"
"I want my father to walk me down the aisle when I get married. He means more to me than you will ever know, and it's my highest wish to get to walk next to him down the aisle when I get married one day! And if you want to marry me, then why don't we? I've only got one wish for my wedding, and it's kinda' on a clock at the moment… What's the point in waiting anyway? "
Jasper sighed. He told her he would think it through first. Two days later they announced their engagement.
*
In August that year Regina and Gabriel sat by Chandler's bedside at the hospital. He was going to die very soon, and all three of them knew it. Regina's cheeks were wet from the tears that wouldn't stop falling. She tried to dry them with her left hand, that now wore a wedding band, but it was no use. Gabriel wasn't crying, but he knew he might start to cry at any minute.
Chandler was looking at them with a faint smile. He hoped he would get to die today. It would mean a lot to him if he did. It was his and Monica's wedding anniversary.
"Don't cry you two" he said with the little voice he had left. "I love you both. But this is what I want. I'm actually feeling happy for the first time in many years. I know I'll get to see Monica soon."
"But is it really worth it?" Regina whispered through her tears. "Is death worth it?"
"Yes. It's worth it if I can get to see her face again."
"I love you, daddy!" Regina said, and hugged him close. She heard Gabriel rise and go around the bed. Then he leaned in and hugged them both from that side of the bed. Chandler closed his eyes when he heard his son tell him that he loved him. He could feel his daughter's cheek touch his left, and his son's touch his right when they both hugged him. He closed his eyes and sent a thought to Monica.
Regina was the first to break the hug after over five minutes. She closed her eyes and dried her cheeks. When she opened her eyes she saw Gabriel lean back and then look at her with a great sorrow in his eyes. She looked over at Chandler.
Chandler felt her soft hands caress his cheeks and he opened his eyes. She smiled lovingly at him and he smiled back, feeling a lot better. She grabbed his hands and pulled him up so that he was sitting. He got out of bed and watched her put her arm around Gabriel and placing a loving kiss on his forehead. Then Monica turned back at him and smiled the smile he knew was only meant for him. He saw her put her arms around Regina's shoulders too, placing a kiss on her forehead as well. Then she turned to look at him again and she reached out her hand to him. He took it and they got closer to each other. For what could have been anything between a second or a year they looked deep into each other's eyes. And then they kissed.
So... review please... give me your opinion. Im posting the epilogue ASAP, but if you can't wait (lol) you can find it at Ashlee's site... :)!
INTRODUCTION: Word of warning: Odd war story features in the beginning. Don't kill me 'cause it sucks!
DISCLAIMER: I don't own the characters from "Friends" and I don't own the lyrics for "Cherish".
Regina sighed and looked up from the journal she was writing. She was 28 years old, and a medical doctor. She had decided to become a doctor and to try and cure cancer when she was younger, to prevent other children from having the same kind of childhood she had had. But the hours were long and the work was massive. She hardly had the time to visit her father these days. She never went to see her brother unless her father forced her to come with him.
She rose and put the journal away. She couldn't concentrate on it right now anyway, and she had a patient that she needed to take a look on. She yawned and stretched out her arms. She hadn't slept in over twenty hours, and she had another six hours before she could go home and sleep. She had never expected that much work as a specialist on cancer.
She picked up her glasses from the writing desk and put them on. She needed glasses when she read, and she hoped that they would help her stay focused for a while when she visited the patient.
*
Regina hadn't spent her first years as a doctor working with cancer patients. In the year 2024 World War Three had broken out, and she had ended up going to Israel to work as a field doctor. She had only been twenty years old, and she hadn't been finished with her studies. She'd ended up having to study and work at the same time, but she had learned a whole lot. And she had met Jasper, a soldier from Maine who had been injured. They had fallen in love and ended up staying together once they got back to America when the war was over. Jasper had moved to New York to be closer to her, and by now they were living together.
Regina wasn't the only family member who had gone to war. Gabriel had been called in after two years, while he was only eighteen. Regina hadn't cared much. She still thought of him as the person responsible for her mother's death, and not as a brother. She knew that he had been stationed somewhere in Asia, in Vietnam or Burma.
The war had started when Saddam Hussein had died and his sons had started a war to take over the world. They had fought with the countries close by at first, but then surprised the whole world by attacking first Burma, then Indonesia and then Vietnam. Korea followed shortly after. USA quickly got involved, backed up by the EU. Germany had been eager to fight for the sake of freedom in the Asian countries that had been taken over, wanting to show the world that they were no longer the country that started the war, but the country that fought for freedom. But then France had become skeptic, remembering the past two wars, and without anyone really knowing how, France and Germany had broken their alliance that came with the EU and they were in war. EU had fallen, and become divided into three sides. The countries who fought for France, like Britain, and the countries who stood by Germany, like Denmark. And the countries that were neutral, with Switzerland and Sweden as the leading nations for that position. Those two countries had been neutral throughout both the past world wars.
With the fall of the EU came more problems within Europe. The Euro was all of a sudden a currency that the German side wanted as theirs, and the French side as theirs. The whole situation ended up with two new currencies, the French Euro and the German Euro. Sweden went back to kronor, and other neutral countries, like Greece, followed that example and went back to the currencies they'd had during the 20th century. Europe became full of it's own problems, and the countries didn't have the manpower to fight in two parts of the world at the same time. Especially not since they would be on the same team in Asia but fighting each other in Europe. In the US, the question arose of which side to stand on. The republicans said the French, the democrats said the German. USA came close to a second civil war, but the new president managed to thwart it. USA officially declared that as long as there was a war in Asia, they would fight there and let the European countries handle their own business. And once the Asian countries were free again, the US could start thinking about which side to stand on in the European battle. The trouble increased when China got involved, starting to fight America. They soon withdrew, and nobody really understood why they even got involved in the first place.
The war had gone on until 2030, four years after it had started. By 2028 Hussein's sons had all been killed, and the Asian countries got their freedom back. But in Europe it took two more years to get peace, and USA decided not to take any sides, but to try and meddle. In September the year 2030, Europe finally became a continent in peace again.
Regina had returned home in 2030, two years after her brother's return. She had met Jasper in 2029, and he had been able to stay until she got to go home as well. Gabriel had been less fortunate.
He had been stationed in Vietnam, which had been the worst place of all to be in, fallowed shortly by Korea. The Vietnamese people hadn't forgotten American's war in their country in the 1960ies, and they hadn't forgiven either. The hatred went too deep for any ice to be able to be broken during the first years, and even though the American soldiers were only there to help them out this time around, the habitants didn't want them there. Gabriel had arrived in 2026, and it had only taken him a few months before he'd fallen in love. The object of his affection had been a Vietnamese girl that he had met in Da Nang, and for the two years that he fought there they had been together. But then all of a sudden the war had ended. Vietnam was free, and the soldiers had no more business being there. Gabriel had thought he would bring his girlfriend Trang back home to the states, but quickly realized that it was a bad idea. Just like with the previous wars in Asia that the US had fought, this war had reawaken apartheid. Back in the states nobody cared if Trang was Vietnamese or Chinese. To them she was one of the animals that had killed their sons in Asia, and it didn't matter where she came from. Gabriel didn't want to put her through the hatred she would receive from so many people in the US, and he had talked to her about it too. She had agreed with him that it was better for her to stay in her home country. Gabriel had first thought of staying himself, but then he had gotten sent to Europe for a few months and then he had been forced to return to America. He had never seen or heard from her again, and he missed her dearly.
Chandler had noticed the depression his son was going through, and at first he thought it was memories from the war combined with the difficulties to get readjusted to ordinary life in USA. But then Gabriel had ended up telling him about Trang. He had told his father everything, how he had met her, fallen in love and how much he actually loved her. And that he knew he'd had to leave her, and that he would most likely never see her again. Chandler had hugged him close, and known exactly what he was feeling. They had talked for hours after that, and Chandler had told Gabriel details about his own relationship to Monica. He knew better than anyone what it was like to loose someone you loved more than anything. Monica had been dead for twenty years by then, but Chandler still missed her just as much as if it had been twenty months. Gabriel and Chandler had gotten a lot closer after that, since Gabriel understood his father better now, and since Chandler was the only one in his life that knew how he felt and what he was going through. At the same time his relationship with Regina had gotten worse. Regina thought of him as a theft, stealing her father's affections away from her.
But the war was over now, and Chandler had both his children safe back in New York. One of them with a heartache that came close to Chandler's own, even though it wasn't half as intense, and one of them with her emotional scars after seeing so many people die and get hurt.
*
Regina fled from the room where her patient lay, and ran the stairs until she reached the roof of the hospital. She flung the door open and raced out, slamming the door hard behind her. She ran over to the couch that sat up on the roof, and sank down on it, burying her face in her hands. It was so awful. And it was painfully familiar.
She had a patient right now that was seven months pregnant, and recently diagnosed with lung cancer. Regina's mother had been seven months pregnant and diagnosed with cancer. Regina hadn't thought much of the resemblance at first, concentrating on the situation in hand. She told the woman that was her patient all the facts about the situation. She needed medication and chemotherapy, if she didn't get the treatment she had just about four months left to live. But the medicine would endanger the baby's health and even life. She would have to make a choice, her baby's safety or her own. The woman, Mrs. Peters, hadn't even thought about it for a second. She had told Regina to induce labour as fast as possible. Regina had tried not to shown how startled she was, and she had tried to convince Mrs. Peters to give her baby better odds to live. But the woman had refused to even hear about how long she could go without getting the treatment if she decided to give the baby some more time to develop.
Regina cried bitterly, hating her job at the moment. The cold wind up on the roof didn't even bother her at the moment. She couldn't understand how anyone could be that selfish. How anyone could put their own life in front of a little child's, a child that was so dependent on it's mother. It was awful, and there was nothing Regina could do about it. She couldn't force Mrs. Peters to hold off with inducing labour. She couldn't even understand how Mrs. Peters was thinking, since her life was in no danger yet. Cancer treatment was a lot more effective now than it had been twenty years ago, and most people were cured within two months. Dying of cancer was rare when you were in the same age as Mrs. Peters. She had all the odds on her side, she could easily hold off another month at least without risking her own life. But she had refused. Blankly refused.
While she wept Regina came to think of her own mother. She hadn't thought about her in over three years now, trying her best to forget about how horrible her childhood had been like. Her father had done everything he could, and she loved him more than anyone else in the world. She would do anything at all for his sake, and she knew that she had him to thank for everything. It was not her father's fault that she'd had a horrible childhood. She had been happier than all of her friends when she was little, when her mother was alive. But the death of her Mother had taken away the joy in her father's eyes and a source of love that Regina had thought would be there forever. And instead of her mother she had gotten a brother that she could hardly stand. And her mother had been in the same situation as Mrs. Peters was now, only she had made the choice that Regina in her heart whished Mrs. Peters would make.
She looked up at the stars and remembered when she was little, and she had believed that her mother might be one of the stars in the sky. She had often looked up at the bright stars and wondered which one was Monica. Now she knew her mother wasn't one of the stars. She didn't know anything at all about where her mother was at this time, other than where her body was buried. Her father visited her mother's grave at least once a week, and he often sat there, staring into space, and probably thinking about things that had happened long before Regina had been born.
Regina dried off her tears.
*
Gabriel opened the door and saw his sister on the other side. He looked at her skeptically. She never came to visit him alone, she always came with their father. And Gabriel had a strong suspicion that she only came when Chandler forced her to.
"Is dad here too?" he asked.
"No. It's just me. Can I come in?"
He opened the door wider so she could get in. She walked inside, looking around and feeling unsure. She took off her coat and her scarf, and hung them on the coat rack. Gabriel silently followed her into the kitchen but didn't sit down even though she did.
"Has something happened?" he asked. Then he looked worried. "There's nothing wrong with Dad, is there?" That was the only reason he could think of why she would come and visit him alone.
"No. Dad's fine. I guess. I haven't talked to him."
"So then why are you here?"
Regina looked up at her brother. Now that he was an adult it was even more obvious just how much he resembled both of their parents. Regina could see the features from the two people she had loved since the day she was born in his face. And in his eyes, that had Monica's color but Chandler's shape, she saw a look that was always in her father's eyes. And she realized that she had never bothered to find out why that look was even there.
"I came here…" she began, "to tell you that I love you."
Gabriel looked at her. He said nothing. He took a sip from the coke in his hand, then put the can down on the sink. He kept looking at her, wordlessly.
"I know you've ever expected me to say that…" Regina said. "But it's true. I do love you. And I just wanted you to know that."
"Why, Regina?" he asked, and Regina knew he wasn't referring to her saying that she loved him. "Why did you then treat me this way? Why if you love me have you been so mean, so CRUEL towards me? I have always loved you, you're my big sister. But you've treated me really bad over the years."
"I know" Regina said. "And if you let me, I'll tell you why."
Gabriel made a hand gesture that was just like one of Chandler's. It meant 'go ahead'.
"I saw this patient today…" Regina began. "A woman who was seven months pregnant and diagnosed lung cancer. She didn't want to wait with having the baby, she decided right away to give birth right away and to start the treatment. But this is dangerous for the baby, it needs at least another pair of weeks… The baby might very well die. And I just thought it was so horrible, you know? How can this woman, as a mother endanger the life of her unborn child? She isn't even in any immediate danger, she can easily wait for a while before starting the treatment. And then it all hit me. Mom was forced to make the same choice once, and she too made up her mind instantly, but she chose to give her baby a better chance to survive. She chose to wait for as long as possible before allowing you to be born, because she cared more about you than about herself. I would have made the exact same choice if I was here. But Mom gambled and she lost. She managed to save your life, but then she died. And I just realized today that she did the only thing she possibly could. She valued your life above her own because you were her son, and she would never have been able to forgive herself if she had done anything else than what she did. And it was in no way your fault."
"That's not what you've said in the past…"
"I know, Gabriel." Regina sighed and tried to decide how to continue with her story. "I was so little when Mom died. I was four years old, four and a half. I didn't understand what was going on and I didn't understand her choices. And I needed someone to blame, someone to hold responsible for my Mother's death! And people kept talking about how she died because she waited too long with giving birth, and that to me meant that you were responsible. I was only four years old, I didn't know what else to think! And I never said anything about it, and by the time anybody found out it was already too late. I had gotten much older by that time. If someone had talked to me during the first two or three years, if someone had just sat down and explained to me that you weren't responsible, then I would have believed them. But I didn't let it show that I felt like that, so no one found out about it. Until, as I said before, it was already too late. And by that time it had turned into more than just that. I was so jealous of you for the attention you got from Dad. Before you came along, it had been me and our parents, and that was the best time of my life. You have never seen dad really happy Gabriel, but I have. During the first years of my life I never say him UNHAPPY. Mom brought out this side in him that was so full of smiles and laughter and joy. And he had this glow in his eyes when he spoke about her, or to her, or just looked at her. In fact, all it took was mentioning her name and you would see that glow in his eyes. And his face would light up as soon as she was near, and there was this look that he would give her… But all of that went away after her death. And somehow I ended up blaming you for that too. And I never allowed myself to think about you in any other way than as the person responsible for my Mother's death. I knew somewhere deep inside that if I didn't think of you that way then I would realize that I actually love you a lot, and then I wouldn't be able to blame you anymore. But now I've reached a point where I just can't go around accusing you of things you had no control over. You are my brother Gabriel, and I love you. Mom loved you enough to die for you, and I know that Dad loves you that way too. And I think I love you that much as well. You're the last thing I have that is a living reminder of my mother, and…"
She paused. She couldn't get another word out. She felt tired and her head was aching from all the emotional storms. She looked up when Gabriel sat down opposite her.
"Ever since I was little…" he said. "Ever since I was little I've tried to win your love. You've always been like a role model to me, Regina. And you think you are jealous of me? Well you should just know how jealous I am of you. You have no idea how damn lucky you are, Regina Bing! Because for one thing you look like Mom. I've seen so many pictures of the woman who is our mother, and you look more like her than I'll ever do. Especially when your face is serious. I look too much like dad to be able to look a lot like mom. Sometimes when I think of mom she looks like you do. And there's more reasons for me to be jealous of you. You got to KNOW her, Regina! You got to live with her and you got to be loved by her for YEARS! You got to be the child that she held in her arms and sang lullabies to, the child who's forehead she kissed lovingly, the child that she played with and laughed with and KNEW! You got to have BOTH our parents in your life! And you got to know our dad as a HAPPY man! You got to see him be happy. I know I'll never get to see that anymore than I'll get to fall asleep in my mother's arms. You have no idea Gina how many nights I've laid awake, picturing what it would be like to get to hear my mother's voice telling me that she loves me." He paused for a second. "And when I was little I wished that I could reach you. I gave up trying after a while, but at first I wanted to get through to you. It would have been more… I don't know… natural if we had stuck together. I mean, we had no mother, all we had was Dad and each other."
"Once I got a little older, everyone treated me as if I couldn't remember mom!" Regina said, deep into her own thoughts at the moment. "When she'd just died everyone felt so sorry for me, but once I got around six or seven people started acting as if I had forgotten about her. And I know most people may not remember things that happened when they were that little, but I have never forgotten her! I remember her, she's very clear in my head. I remember what she looked like, I remember most of the faces she made, I remember the difference in the smile that was meant for Dad and the one that was meant for me… And I remember her voice, I remember things she's told me. I've even got memories of incidents that happened, like this one time when mom got mad at dad and threw a pillow on him and he threw one right back. The next thing I knew they were in the middle of a huge pillow fight, laughing and shrieking. I remember stories she used to tell me and what lullabies she used to sing me to sleep with."
She quieted and looked around in the book. She smiled slightly when her eyes fell on a copy of "Mio my Son" that her brother had on the kitchen table. She knew it was her brother's favorite Lindgren book, while her own was "The Brothers Lionheart". Now that she thought about it, it wasn't so strange that her brother had Mio as his favorite. Mio had too been a motherless child. His mother had died when he was born, and Gabriel's had died just after his birth. And Gabriel had even named his cat Miramis.
"Still as fond of Mio, huh?" she stated, rather than asked.
"Yeah. It was Christian Bale's best film, after all" he replied with a slight grin.
"You know, I always preferred 'The Brothers Lionheart'" Regina said. "I used to force mom to read it to me. I didn't even understand the plot really, and the drawn pictures of Katla freaked me out…" She looked up at Gabriel. "Do you know what mom's last words to me where?"
"Nope."
"She said that I shouldn't cry, because I would get to see her in Nangiyala. She was quoting the book."
"Like I said…" Gabriel said with a sad smile. "She got to know you. She'll never know me. But she knew you."
*
Two years later Gabriel and Regina came home to their Father's apartment late one afternoon. He had called them and asked them to come over. He was once again living in the apartment where he and Monica had lived. He had moved with the children right before Regina's thirteenth birthday, but sublet the apartment. And once Gabriel had gone to war he had moved back.
At first they didn't see him. He was sitting on the couch. The same couch that had been there during Monica's lifetime. He was staring into space, listening to music and holding a piece of fabric in his hand that he was twisting around. The stereo was on, playing an old song from the twentieth century. It was "Cherish" by Kool & The Gang. It was clear that Chandler's mind was elsewhere. He probably wasn't even aware that his children were there.
Let's take a walk together, near the ocean shore
Hand in hand you and I
Let's cherish every moment we have been given
The time is passing by
I often pray before I lay down
By your side
If you receive your calling before I awake
Could I make it through the night?
Cherish the love we have
We should cherish the light within
Cherish the love
Cherish the light
Cherish the love
Cherish the love we have
For as long as we both shall live
Cherish the love
Cherish the light
Cherish the love
Chandler was indeed lost in thought. Each song that was about parted lovers, especially lovers parted by death, made him think of her. This song had for years reminded him of how important it was to cherish the people close to you while you still have them there. And Monica and him had heard this song play at a restaurant they passed on their honeymoon when they were out on a moonlit stroll along the beach. He remembered that walk in detail.
The world is always changing, nothing stays the same
But love will stand the test of time
The next life that we live in, remains to be seen
Will you be by my side?
I often pray before I lay down
By your side
And if you receive your calling before I awake
Could I make it through the night?
Gabriel shut the stereo off. Chandler looked up and realized that they were there. He hadn't noticed them entering. They both looked at him with confused expressions in their faces.
"Hi kids" he said. "Sit down."
They did, Regina next to him on the couch and Gabriel in the barca.
"What's up dad?" Regina asked. "What's that thing you're holding?"
Chandler smiled sadly and lifted up the top he'd been holding in his hands.
"This…" he said, "is what your mother was wearing the night I asked her to marry me. Well, she changed clothes later on because we were gonna go out celebrate with our friends, but this is what she wore when I asked her. This and a skirt."
"You remember what she was wearing?" Gabriel said, amazed. "Wow. I don't even remember what Trang was wearing the first time she said she loved me… All I know is that it wasn't an ao dai."
"I found this in a box when I unpacked clothes after I moved back here again" Chandler said, looking at the top. "I placed it in that chest in the bedroom. And it's been laying there until today." He looked up at them. "But that's not why I called you two. I've got something important to tell you."
"What is it?" Gabriel asked.
Chandler smiled slightly.
"I've got cancer. Lung cancer."
"What?" Regina exclaimed. "Oh my goodness!"
"Are you going to be okay?" Gabriel asked.
"I'm going to die" Chandler said.
"Just like mom…" Gabriel whispered and looked away. It seemed as if cancer would always follow him. Is mother had died from it, his sister worked with it and now his father said he was going to die from it.
"Dad, that's silly!" Regina said, sounding scared and slightly desperate. "Come on now, I work with cancer treatment! Lung cancer is easy to treat these days! You should be able to survive without any problems!"
"Regina, sweetheart…" Chandler said with a sad smile. "I'm not going to have any treatment."
"WHAT!" his two children exclaimed.
"Listen you two…" Chandler said sadly. "I love you two both. But all three of us know that my life hasn't been very happy. Ever since your mother died I've been unafraid of dying. There have been times when I've even wanted to die. These days I haven't had any direct desire to do so, but now that I've gotten sick I don't mind dying."
"What, do you feel that you HONOR Monica's death by dying in the same disease?" Gabriel asked, annoyed.
"I met Monica when I was nineteen. She became my close friend when I was twenty-four. And she became my girlfriend when I was thirty. I loved her more than life. But I only got to have her for ten years. Now I'm sixty-six years old. Out of those sixty-six years I only got to have her for ten. That's horrible. And I know that if I decide to battle this disease I might live until I'm NINETY-SIX. Eighty-six years without her is more than I can stand. It's been awful enough as it is. She's been dead for twenty-six years now, and each year has felt like a decade. I don't want to be alone anymore, I don't want to miss her for even a year more. I've spent so many years missing her, and it's a missing that goes deeper than anything you've experienced with Trang, Gabriel. Because she was not only the woman that I loved, she was the mother of my two children and the most basic need in my life. A day without her was an eternity back then. And do you know what? It still is."
"But dad, that's no reason to KILL yourself!" Regina objected.
"I'm not killing myself. I'm just not having any treatment for my cancer. I've been without her for long enough. It's time for me to get to be with her again."
"So you're just going to risk your life for that?" Gabriel asked, still annoyed. "You know dad, death may just be ceasing to exist. You have no guarantees that mom lives on somewhere, you might just be dying for NOTHING!"
"Even if you're right, that would be worth it. the pain and loneliness will be over."
"But what about US? You are the only parent we've got, dad! The only parent I have ever gotten to know!"
"I know, Gabriel. But you are twenty-six years old and your sister is thirty. My role as a guardian and as a guide for the two of you is over. You don't need a parent."
"Of course we do" Regina softly objected, trying to keep her tears back. "You're the strongest link to our childhood. You're the person who knows us better than anyone else, and we know we can come to you with all of our troubles, problems and secrets. We can't come to anyone else than you."
"Listen…" Chandler said, almost as softly as Regina had spoken. "Twenty-six years. Twenty-six years since my wife died. She was the one who *I* could come to with all that you just spoke about. She was the person who would always listen, who would always love me no matter what I did. She would have forgiven me adultery even. She was my soulmate and the missing part of me. I've been half a person since the day that she died, and I needed her a lot more than you and your brother need me. You've got Jasper, Regina. If he is your soulmate then he will soon fill my place as your counselor."
"No he won't" Regina objected. "No one is as close to me as you are. And do you know what? He hasn't been there throughout my entire life. He doesn't know every single thing about me and he doesn't have any knowledge of when I was little, except for what I have told him. And hearing about it is not the same thing as knowing about it, as BEING there when I occurred."
"Then let him in. I let your mother in, I let her hear all about my bad childhood and painful memories and she UNDERSTOOD me! She got to know me so well that she could reflect back to things I had told her about my life and understand my problems even better. If she could be there for me and understand me better than I understood myself, then Jasper can do the same for you. This is not something that is up for discussion, Regina. I am not having any treatment. And that's final. I don't want to survive this disease. And I don't want to go through what my wife went through the first time she was sick, for something that I don't even BELIEVE in! Something I don't even WANT! She had EVERYTHING to survive for, I only have loneliness, heartache and a loss that has torn me apart over more than two-and-a-half decades! And I have you two, but you don't need me anymore. I'm not as much a part of your lives as I was before, and I'm sorry you two, but I have reached a point where it's not worth the pain. Only seeing your future as a painful treatment period followed by the same kind of pain that I live with everyday, that's not something anybody wants."
"Dad, treatment isn't as full of side affects as it was back when mom was sick!" Regina objected.
"Maybe not. You know, I used to sing to her when she was sick the first time around and she was feeling really bad after treatment? I used to sit by her bedside and quietly sing 'The Drugs Don't Work' to her."
"You sang a song like that?" Gabriel asked. "Dad, that doesn't sound too encouraging."
"I'm going to miss the two of you" Chandler said. "But I have made my decision and I am sticking by it."
*
Regina slammed the door hard, not bothering to wipe off the tears that fell down her cheeks. She went into the living room and found Jasper sitting there with a book in his lap. He looked up at her when he heard her enter. She stood in front of him, with her hands on her hips.
"Jasper. I've got to ask" she said. "Do you see yourself ever married to me?"
Jasper laughed.
"Wow. Hold no bars, huh? Sure I see myself ever married to you. Is this a discreet way of telling me I should start thinking of propose."
"This is a non-discreet way to tell you that in that case I want to get married within a month or two."
"What?" Jasper said, shocked. He rose and the book fell to the floor.
"I want to get married within a month or two. You heard me" Regina said.
"What on earth has caused this sudden urge to get married? This is out of the blue, you know!"
"Dad is dying!" Regina said, and the tears started falling again. "He's got cancer and he won't let me treat him! He wants to die, he wants to get to be with my mother again!"
"I'm sorry. I like your dad. Too bad he's dying. But Regina, what on earth does this have to do with marriage?"
"I want my father to walk me down the aisle when I get married. He means more to me than you will ever know, and it's my highest wish to get to walk next to him down the aisle when I get married one day! And if you want to marry me, then why don't we? I've only got one wish for my wedding, and it's kinda' on a clock at the moment… What's the point in waiting anyway? "
Jasper sighed. He told her he would think it through first. Two days later they announced their engagement.
*
In August that year Regina and Gabriel sat by Chandler's bedside at the hospital. He was going to die very soon, and all three of them knew it. Regina's cheeks were wet from the tears that wouldn't stop falling. She tried to dry them with her left hand, that now wore a wedding band, but it was no use. Gabriel wasn't crying, but he knew he might start to cry at any minute.
Chandler was looking at them with a faint smile. He hoped he would get to die today. It would mean a lot to him if he did. It was his and Monica's wedding anniversary.
"Don't cry you two" he said with the little voice he had left. "I love you both. But this is what I want. I'm actually feeling happy for the first time in many years. I know I'll get to see Monica soon."
"But is it really worth it?" Regina whispered through her tears. "Is death worth it?"
"Yes. It's worth it if I can get to see her face again."
"I love you, daddy!" Regina said, and hugged him close. She heard Gabriel rise and go around the bed. Then he leaned in and hugged them both from that side of the bed. Chandler closed his eyes when he heard his son tell him that he loved him. He could feel his daughter's cheek touch his left, and his son's touch his right when they both hugged him. He closed his eyes and sent a thought to Monica.
Regina was the first to break the hug after over five minutes. She closed her eyes and dried her cheeks. When she opened her eyes she saw Gabriel lean back and then look at her with a great sorrow in his eyes. She looked over at Chandler.
Chandler felt her soft hands caress his cheeks and he opened his eyes. She smiled lovingly at him and he smiled back, feeling a lot better. She grabbed his hands and pulled him up so that he was sitting. He got out of bed and watched her put her arm around Gabriel and placing a loving kiss on his forehead. Then Monica turned back at him and smiled the smile he knew was only meant for him. He saw her put her arms around Regina's shoulders too, placing a kiss on her forehead as well. Then she turned to look at him again and she reached out her hand to him. He took it and they got closer to each other. For what could have been anything between a second or a year they looked deep into each other's eyes. And then they kissed.
So... review please... give me your opinion. Im posting the epilogue ASAP, but if you can't wait (lol) you can find it at Ashlee's site... :)!